Part Two: Aunt Muriel VS Marjorie
When they reached the memorial, Jade hopped off of Harry's broom and went through the doors, getting her wand ready. The first floor of the memorial had been charred but not too badly. The previous curtains that had been burned down were replaced with new sickly green ones and the tables that sat were removed. Jade went straight to Marjorie's room and knocked on the door.
"Marjorie Parkinson." Jade said. The door opened and Marjorie stuck her head out. She gave Jade a grim smile.
"It's the big bad Aurseize who burned this memorial home down and knocked her pathetic Aunt down." Marjorie said.
"Who are you calling pathetic you herpes spreading goblin?" Aunt Muriel said behind Jade.
"Aunt Muriel?! What are you doing here?" Jade asked.
Marjorie opened the door wider and an older man appeared, looking horrified.
"I'm sorry; did I interrupt a shagging session with the poor soul?" Aunt Muriel asked. The older man slipped past them and hobbled away. Marjorie narrowed her eyes at Aunt Muriel.
"I was about to pay him for my cigarettes!" Marjorie snapped.
"Whore!" Aunt Muriel called.
"Unattractive toothless mule!" Marjorie called.
"Gold digging ape wipe!" Aunt Muriel said.
Jade stared at them, unable to take her eyes off of the two women who shot back and forth with each other. She looked at Harry who was at the other end of the hall, laughing so hard, he needed to clutch his sides together from bursting something.
"Just what the hell is going on here?" a voice asked.
Jade, Aunt Muriel and Marjorie turned around to see Pansy Parkinson who had gotten taller but everything was the same. Her bob haircut and there was a gallon full of makeup on her face with fake eyelashes and contacts. Jade swore her lips and boobs were fake but she never got around to proving that point.
"There's my granddaughter! A real example of what this generation should look like! Unlike that piece of crap you have for a niece who got banged up in the Hogwarts bathroom." Marjorie spat.
"No one calls my niece crap you donkey shit!" Aunt Muriel screeched.
She pulled her fist back and pumped it exceptionally hard at Marjorie's face who went down like a pile of bricks. Pansy and Jade gasped.
"You old bitch! You hit my Grandmother!" Pansy said going to claw Aunt Muriel but Jade yanked Pansy back.
"If you touch my Aunt you're done for." Jade warned. Pansy Parkinson took out her gum and dropped it in Jade's shirt.
"Bite me bitch." Pansy said. Jade tried to stay calm but Pansy started pushing her finger on Jade's forehead.
"Aw look at the little bathroom girl. Heard you grew up to be some pathetic Aurseize after folding cookies in Romania?" Pansy asked.
Marjorie grabbed Aunt Muriel's ankle and yanked it, causing Aunt Muriel to fall down and the two of them started punching, screeching and scratching at each other.
"My hair! My hair!" Marjorie screamed when Aunt Muriel had her on a headlock and yanked on her hair.
Pansy went ahead and grabbed Aunt Muriel's hair whose eyes popped out of her head and gasped. Jade felt herself lose her mind and she launched into Pansy, slamming her into a wall. Pansy let out a breathless grunt and Jade punched Pansy as hard as she could, feeling Pansy swipe her nails across Jade's face.
Jade felt a pair of hands lift her and drag her away from Pansy who got up to hit her. Jade threw a kick to her shin, seeing Pansy scream and collapse on the floor, grabbing her leg. Harry pushed her into a room and locked her in and opened the door a few seconds later with Aunt Muriel in his arms who grinned.
"Look what I got!" Aunt Muriel said with a chuck full of Marjorie's green tinted hair.
"She's feisty." Harry said setting Aunt Muriel down. He helped Marjorie up who brushed herself off, still gritting her teeth at Aunt Muriel.
"I paid good money for that hair!" Marjorie said.
"Bet you did it while you were on top." Aunt Muriel said.
"Ma'am I'm here to escort you to the Ministry of Magic." Harry said politely to Marjorie who looked at him.
"Holy crap you're hot! Why couldn't they send you instead of Miss Fuck-Up?" Marjorie asked eying Harry as if he were a piece of meat. Harry looked humored and Aunt Muriel spoke up.
"Don't look at him like that! That's my niece's boyfriend. He's about 500 years younger than you, have some respect!" Aunt Muriel said.
"Okay Aunt Muriel, I'm going to have to take you home now." Jade said.
They all looked at Pansy Parkinson who stood still on the floor, passed out.
"What happened to her?" Jade asked Harry who tucked his wand in.
"I accidentally stunned her…whoops." He said. Harry and Jade dropped Marjorie off to the Ministry and Parvati wrote out the check for Jade.
"What happened to your face?" Parvati asked Jade who touched it.
"My granddaughter did that." Marjorie said proudly.
"And my niece kicked the noodles out of her. She's lying on the floor in the memorial now…my niece's boyfriend did that." Aunt Muriel said patting Harry's back who smiled again. Parvati gaped at Jade and Harry.
"Oh my God! You both are dating! You didn't tell me Jade!" Parvati said.
"Wait this is a huge-" Jade started to say.
"Babe." Harry said hooking an arm around her neck and bringing her close to him. Ron opened the door to his office and looked in.
"Where's the party tonight?" Ron asked.
"Harry and Jade are dating!" Parvati said excitedly. Ron looked to Jade then to Harry.
"You didn't tell me about this mate. Congratulations to the both of you." Ron said clapping Harry's back.
"Ew another red head Weasley." Marjorie said with a disgusted scoff. Ron cut a look towards Marjorie.
"I'm going to see to it that you'll have one our complementary suites in Azkaban." Ron said. He left and Jade turned around to Aunt Muriel.
"Let's take you home." Jade said seeing Aunt Muriel nod.
"Isn't this nice? I'm going home with my niece and her boyfriend." Aunt Muriel said.
They walked out of the Auror Department and out of the Ministry of Magic to take Aunt Muriel home.
"Why don't you both have lunch here?" Aunt Muriel asked.
"I need another apprehension to make. Go ahead Aunt Muriel, thanks anyways." Jade said waving her off. Aunt Muriel smiled and closed the door behind her. Jade turned around to Harry who grinned.
"This is not funny." Jade said seeing him start to laugh. "I can't believe you're laughing! Why couldn't you say anything?" Jade asked seeing him walk closer to her.
"Why couldn't you say anything?" he asked.
"Well I…I tried!" Jade sputtered feeling incredibly nervous all of a sudden. He took out his broom and placed her on it.
"Let's go find your next fugitive." Harry said.
They traveled to Morty Spelling's house and Jade knocked on the door. The door opened and a skinny mousy looking woman looked at Jade and Harry.
"Hello." She said.
"Is Morty Spelling here?" Jade asked.
"Um…why?" she squeaked.
"He's been charged with domestic abuse. Are you his wife?" Jade asked seeing her nod. "And you're still living with him?" Jade asked.
"Who are you talking to?" Morty asked. He was a tall and skinny man with short hair and a wife beater.
"Are you Morty Spelling?" Jade asked seeing him grin.
"Come in and talk to me with that mouth." He winked. Jade curled her lip and took out her wand.
"My name is Jade Weasley and you're being arrested for domestic abuse. I'm here to escort you to the Ministry of Magic." Jade said.
Morty grabbed Jade's shoulder and shoved her away, letting Jade fall into Harry who held her up. Morty went to close the door but Harry stepped in, disallowing Morty from closing the door. Harry yanked Morty by the neck and pushed him against the door.
"If you run away or do anything stupid, I'll catch you and snap your neck, do you understand?" Harry asked calmly.
Morty squeaked and Jade stared in fascination with her mouth open. Harry set Morty down and locked his hands together. He pushed Morty forward and nodded at Morty's wife.
"You have a good day Ma'am." Harry said. Morty's wife was in tears and she waved at Jade and Harry who apparated to the Ministry.