Part Three: Kneazle Paintings
"RUN MOTHERFUCKER!" Pansy screamed.
They bolted through the door, ripping into the hallway, screaming from the top of their lungs. Jade was moving so fast, her foot got caught with the steps and she went flying down, tripping Shetty and Pansy. They all tumbled down the stairs like a big snowball and landed on the bottom of the stairs. Jade didn't care if any of her body parts were broken; she was getting the hell out of there one way or another.
"Getuffferme!" Shetty wailed, slapping Pansy's face.
"Don't touch my FACE!" Pansy smacked back.
Jade rolled off of them and crawled away. She opened the front door and got up, running. Pansy and Shetty soon followed and they ran far from the house until they couldn't breathe anymore.
"I can't believe I saw a dead body!" Pansy said, shuddering.
Jade sat there, still in shock, wondering what she would do. The house was open for anyone to walk in but what about the dead body? She couldn't just leaving the dead body hanging…no pun intended. Jade took out her cell phone and dialed Draco.
"I'm really sorry about today-" Draco started but Jade cut him off.
"Yeah okay sure. Listen I did something really stupid but I promise you, the house was unlocked. I found a dead body in there and you'd want to get here as soon as possible." Jade said.
"Fuck, Jade. You broke into a house to find a dead body?" Draco asked in disbelief.
"I didn't do anything. Ough I'll talk to you later, I just wanted to let you know." Jade said.
She snapped her phone off and looked at Shetty and Pansy who were sitting side by side, smoking a joint.
"I kind of don't care that we saw a body anymore." Pansy said, smiling goofily.
Jade took the pot away from them and smashed it with her foot.
"That was pretty expensive you know mate. Would you like a complimentary joint grown by yours truly?" Shetty asked reaching into his pocket.
Jade grabbed Pansy and Shetty by their arms and hoisted them up to their feet. Jade apparated to the Ministry, having a hard time getting Pansy and Shetty in the telephone booth. They waited and by a lot of tugging, pulling and restraining herself from killing them.
"Well this is one thing you don't see every day." Parvati said as Jade dumped Pansy and Shetty on the couch.
"I'm going to go home and eat something very fattening." Jade said. Parvati nodded.
"I'm going to have a fat night out too. The man I had been seeing a few days ago was sleeping with another woman. Oh well." Parvati shrugged.
Jade apparated to her father's house and rang the doorbell.
"Well slap me with a sausage and own me like a donkey, its Jade!" Aunt Muriel said hugging Jade tightly who hugged back. Jade heard a pot being dropped and Bilius appeared with a large smile on his face.
"My baby!" he said hugging her.
"So what brings you here? Did Malfoy kick you out of his house yet?" Aunt Muriel asked as Jade walked in.
"No, but I'm going to move back into my apartment." Jade said seeing Bilius and Aunt Muriel stare at her.
"But why? Why? Why? Why?" Bilius asked.
"What do you mean why? I can't live with Malfoy forever." Jade said.
"But aren't you both a couple?" Aunt Muriel asked sitting down. She sat in front of a large canvas and started painting.
"We're not a couple…he's just a roommate." Jade said seeing Bilius roll his eyes.
"Well you both are at least sleeping with each other, right? How will it work out if you move out?" Aunt Muriel asked.
Jade reddened and Bilius disappeared, not wanting to get involved with this conversation.
"I'm not sleeping with him! I told you, it's nothing like that." Jade said taking a seat.
"So you're actually fooling around with Harry Potter?" Aunt Muriel asked.
"Good Godric Gryffindor, no!" Jade said incredulously.
"I'd write you off my will but I feel as if you'll die a spinster with lots of Kneazles. Look at that." Aunt Muriel said pointing to a painting of an ugly Kneazle.
Jade looked around the room and noticed for the first time that there were rows of paintings, each so different and horribly weird looking.
"What's going on? Why are you painting Kneazles?" Jade asked, her eyes fixed on a half Kneazle and half naked woman body.
"The one you're looking at is my best painting and guess who gets to take it home!" Aunt Muriel sang.
Jade smiled nervously and shrugged.
"Ron?!" Jade asked seeing Aunt Muriel shake her head.
"No silly! You'll take it home! But make sure you take it from Malfoy when you move back to your apartment. I don't want Malfoy taking my masterpiece!" Aunt Muriel said.
Jade wondered if her day could get any worse.
"Sweetheart are you staying for dinner?" Bilius asked walking back into the living room again.
"Actually I wanted to eat but I should really leave. Malfoy's buried with files and I guess I should be nice and bring him some food from somewhere." Jade said getting up to leave.
"You don't have to buy anything. I'll pack dinner for the both of you." Bilius said.
"He doesn't deserve dinner made by us! What has that prick done for you besides giving you his house when your apartment burned down and protection when there was a murderer on the loose?" Aunt Muriel asked, her face pinched with anger.
"Gee that's a toughie…he didn't knock me up?" Jade asked. Bilius came back with a bag of food and kissed Jade's cheek, telling her to take care of herself.
"Invite the Malfoy boy over for dinner. He's been decent enough to help you and the least we could do is have him over for dinner but you won't let that happen." Bilius said.
"Well maybe because you never asked me to have him over. I don't know, I'll see. Thanks Dad." Jade said kissing her father's cheek.
"I love you pumpkin pie." He said. Jade giggled and went to hug Aunt Muriel.
"Don't forget my masterpiece! You need to take this and hang this!" Aunt Muriel said picking up the canvas of the half Kneazle and half naked woman.
"Oh are you sure Aunt Muriel? I mean…I think it's too beautiful for me to even hold you know?" Jade asked seeing Aunt Muriel giggle and blush.