The Aurseize

Part One: 8 Years Later

8 Years Later

"I'm sorry Jade but our company's gone bankrupt. I have no choice but to have you fired." Jade's boss said, slipping the dreaded pink piece of paper on Jade's table.

"What went wrong with the fortune cookies?" Jade asked, holding up a fortune cookie on a desk. Jade's boss, Ion reached out and took the fortune cookie from Jade's hand. He cracked it in two and slid the piece of paper from the cookie.

"The ink. The ink is supposedly poisoning everyone and the European Medicines Agency's been up our arse and now we're ruined and bankrupt…those fuckers!" Ion stamped. He turned to Jade, giving her a wary look.

"I'm sorry for this to have happened Jade. You were a great fortune cookie writer." Ion said.

"I'll probably move to North America and take up a fortune cookie job there…I heard that business is prosperous." Jade said seeing Ion shrug and start to leave.

"Eh, sure why not? If you even do make it to the fortune cookie company, don't forget me." Ion said seeing Jade nod and start to gather her things.

"Of course I won't forget you! I've been working in this company for years because of you." Jade said.

"That's good to know. But where are you going to go, since you don't have a job anymore?" Ion asked.

"I'll probably move back to England and live with my Dad and Aunt until I find something I can do. Thanks for everything Ion, I'll keep in touch." Jade said giving Ion a one armed hug.

"Good luck sweetheart. I'll miss working with you."

Jade packed up from her office and apparated to her flat in Romania. After graduation, she looked for a couple of jobs that she could fit in with. Without any much luck after a year of experimenting, Jade decided that she go exploring for jobs out of the U.K. province. She especially needed to take a leave from England, where everywhere she would take on a career and there had to be at least someone who knew about Jade's embarrassing mishap with Malfoy. Jade appeared in front of her old home in Ottery St. Catchpole with Jerry the snapping turtle in his tank.

"Bilius! Jade's come back!" Aunt Muriel yelled from the doorway. Jade smiled, walking up the steps and kissing her Great Aunt's cheek.

"How have you been Aunt Muriel?" Jade asked. Aunt Muriel gave Jade a toothless smile, patting her arm.

"Never been any better! Did you do something with your hair?" she asked seeing Jade shake her head.

"No, just trimmed it last week." Jade said seeing her father make his way out of the house.

"Holy suspenders of Merlin! That was quick!" Bilius said hugging Jade tightly.

"Quick? 7 years isn't that bad to come back after getting sacked. At least you're not a complete failure like…no, Ron is quite accomplished…maybe, no, the twins business is booming out of control." Aunt Muriel said, still thinking. Jade set a stiff face and stalked into the house, placing her Jerry's tank on the kitchen table.

"Well you're my great niece, so that gives you credit for something." Aunt Muriel said.

"So the ink was poisoning the fortune cookie?" Bilius asked.

"Yeah! The ink from the paper was mildly toxic to the fortune cookies…I don't know anymore, I'm jobless." Jade whined, falling into her couch and placing her hands over her face.

"You can be a magician." Bilius said seriously.

"Or a caretaker in Hogwarts…I heard that old fart and his cat were retiring!" Aunt Muriel said.

"Oh joy. That's what I've been wanting to do my whole life! To be a caretaker and grow old in the castle where everyone knows me for…" Jade trailed off, unwilling to finish the rest of the sentence.

"You shagging Malfoy is so yesterday." Bilius said waving Jade off.

"More like 8 years ago yesterday." Aunt Muriel pointed out.

"Ok see, the point is, I don't want to be a caretaker in Hogwarts! I don't want to any of that! I want something interesting from my life and I want to be good at it!" Jade cried.

"Now that you say that, I think Lavender Browns grandmother was telling me the same thing you said that Lavender told her…who knew that she'd be where she is now?" Aunt Muriel said, shrugging her shoulders.

"What? What's Lavender Brown doing now?" Jade asked.

"She's the Head of an Elite Escort service in England." Aunt Muriel answered.

"Cripes, please kill me now." Jade said.

"You know Jade…I don't know what to do with you anymore. You always want something new but when it doesn't work, you go on again and yak yak yak." Bilius said opening and closing his hands.

"And you're not even married yet. Everyone else is married to someone, except for Ginny but she's younger than you." Aunt Muriel said.

"Well I was engaged…didn't that mean anything?" Jade asked. Bilius and Aunt Muriel looked grim.

"The men in your love life are worse than the fungus that grows in Hagrid's arse crack." Aunt Muriel said.

"Your great aunt is right, and Alfie was no fun. He had the nerve to take the bottle of Thunderwhiskey out of my hands, telling me I was acting too inappropriate and immature of men my age…remember that two years ago?" Bilius asked Jade who held her hands up.

"That's between you both, I was only going to marry him because I had someone to feed Jerry." Jade said.

"What's wrong with you Jade? I could have fed Jerry! You didn't have to marry that uppity always-needs-to-follow-the-rules donkey." Bilius said.

"Bilius, we're getting late for the Burrow. We told Molly that you were coming back today and she said to have dinner at the Burrow. She's making your favorite love." Aunt Muriel said. She got up and slowly walked away to get ready. Bilius placed a kiss on Jade's head and patted her to get ready for dinner in the Burrow.


Jade rang the doorbell of the Burrow, listening to the excited voices and occasional shrieks of the children inside. The door opened and Molly was beaming when she saw Jade.

"Aunt Molly." Jade said as Molly hugged her tightly.

"Jade! I heard the terrible news! But it's fine now, you can find a steady job here at home sweet home!" Molly said. Hermione appeared, carrying her newborn son.

"Jade!" Hermione exclaimed.

Hermione was married to Jade's cousin Ron, just 5 years ago. They were a peculiar couple but they made their marriage work and were ridiculously happy. If only Jade knew what that was about. She swore off men after graduating from Hogwarts but met Alfie in Romania who was a student tourist from London. They immediately had a connection, since she was the only native Londoner in Romania and knew no one else. He was mediocre as a human being and he was an ordinary but uptight wizard. There were so many rules to live by and no breathing space between them. He proposed to Jade a year after dating and Jade agreed after thinking things over. He always bought fishes home for Jerry to feed on and if Jerry was happy, so was Jade.

"Mione! Hugo!" Jade said hugging them. She lightly pinched Hugo's cheek who drooled and blinked at her with large blue eyes. Babies were cute, but a little intimidating for Jade. She wanted in no way for them to turn out like her with a grandfather like Bilius Weasley and a Great-Great Aunt like Aunt Muriel. Ginny ran down the stairs and launched herself on Jade.

"I heard the good news!" Ginny said hugging Jade tightly.

"Good? Why would it be any good? I just lost my job!" Jade said seeing Ginny laugh.

"You were so far away from home…and you weren't going anywhere with that stupid job of yours." Ginny said. Before Jade pursed her lips and tried to defend her job, she thought about it. There really wasn't anything spectacular about the job. She was writing quotes and horoscopes inside of a piece of paper slipped into a cookie and packaged off for Europe to become violently ill from the new ink. Jade met with the rest of her cousins, cousin in laws, nieces and nephews.

"So how is Alfie doing?" Arthur asked during dinner. Jade looked up from her chicken and rice casserole and noticed that everyone gave uncomfortable side glances at each other and cleared their throats.

"Oh I'm sorry dear I forgot." Arthur said seeing Jade nod and smile.

"It's all right, it happens to us." Jade said.

"Arthur's aging." Aunt Muriel sang.

"Never mind that, did you already start looking for jobs yet?" Bill asked.

"No! I can't find a job that I can stick to! The fortune cookie writing went by well but what am I going to do now? Who would want to hire me?" Jade asked.

"Hey Ron, didn't you say you needed someone to catch Draco Malfoy?" Charlie asked innocently.

Jade's eyes nearly popped out of her skull when she heard that. Before she went to say something, Ron instantly cut in.

"I need a professional to bring him in and you'd need to be an Auror, no offense Jade." Ron said.

"Bullshit! You don't need to be an Auror to bring in Malfoy!" Ginny said.

"Bool-shi" Rose said from her chair. Everyone turned towards Rose and Aunt Muriel only clapped.

"Thatta girl." She said.

"What's Malfoy done to the Ministry?" Jade asked.

"That meathead was an Auror. He's killed a man and now is in hiding with the entire Ministry after his arse." Fred explained with a grin.

"So this is Jade's chance to get back at him for that bathroom stint he pulled. I swear to you, when I heard that my baby was being minced by that meat mallet jerk I wanted to wrap my hands around his blonde head and squash it like an egg!" Bilius said.

"I wouldn't doubt your powers Uncle Bilius. If a man can spring flowers from his hoo-haa, he can do virtually anything." George said, raising his glass towards Bilius who beamed.

"I agree with Bilius! This is a perfect opportunity for revenge. Who better taking Malfoy to Azkaban than Jade herself? Ron you give this case to your cousin and make sure she's well equipped and trained." Molly said.

"But training takes time and I need Malfoy now." Ron whined.

"You sound like my dead husband." Aunt Muriel muttered.

Jade sat there, listening to everyone. As much as the idea of bringing Malfoy in appealed to her, she needed to be convinced that there was a force that could drive her other than the fact that she was going to bring in a jerk that ruined her entire life 8 years ago.

"Ronald do this for Jade. She hasn't gotten a job yet and think of what she can do with the 50,000 galleons!" Hermione said, stroking Ron's arm.

"50,000 galleons?! To bring Malfoy in? I'll do it!" Jade jumped in her seat. Ron shook his head and hands, tuning out the pleads from the table.

"I have a month to recover Malfoy and if I don't, I lose Malfoy to those stuck up muggle law enforcements." Ron said.

"I trust you that I'll bring Malfoy within a month and you won't have to lose your money to the muggles." Jade said.

"Ough….no!" Ron said.

There was a loud bang on the table and Molly Weasley stood up, pointing a finger at Ron.

"You will give her a chance to bring Draco Malfoy or else I will drag you out of your job by the ear! Do you hear me Ronald Bilius Weasley? If you go against my wishes as a mother, so help you God!" Molly hissed. Ron knew better than anyone to avoid the wrath of Molly Weasley.


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