Part Four: Horse Shit On A Hot Day
Jade apparated to the public Wizarding park where she saw Lavender tied to a large Elm tree; naked.
"How the hell did this happen?" Jade asked taking out her wand. She whispered a spell and cut the rope.
"That pervert, Stanley Dogget said no to me when I told him that I'd be dragging his arse into the Ministry." Lavender said, dusting herself off.
"And you let him tie you to a tree?" Jade asked looking for Lavender's clothes.
"Hey, at least I didn't allow him to set my apartment on fire. Besides he's a three hundred pound chap and I'm a third of his weight. It's not easy taking a man down like that." Lavender said.
"I'll apparate you back home." Jade said seeing Lavender shake her head.
"Are you fucking out of your mind? I'm not leaving until that motherfucker gives me my 1,500 Galleon boots back. They're made out of genuine mermaid scales and I'm getting that back!" Lavender said. Jade went to argue but heard someone coming towards them.
"Shit! He's coming back!" Lavender hissed.
"I thought you said he left!" Jade said seeing Lavender shake her head.
"He left to throw my shoes and clothes out…because I promised I'd sort of sleep with him to get it back." Lavender said as Jade gaped.
"I thought you were with Michael." Jade said seeing Lavender shake her head.
"We broke up months ago…where the hell were you?" Lavender asked. They hid behind a bush and Jade saw a tall and beefy looking man appear, looking around the tree.
"Aw fuck!" he yelled. Jade heard something growling behind her and turned towards Lavender to shove her lightly.
"He's going to hear us." Jade said.
"That wasn't me…wasn't that you? You're always hungry." Lavender said.
Jade turned around and saw a snarling Rottweiler, baring its teeth and looking highly dangerous. Lavender turned around and gasped.
"Who's there?" Stanley asked.
The dog barked at Jade and she crawled away, seeing the Rottweiler advance towards her. When Stanley swiped the bushes, the Rottweiler barked and jumped at Stanley.
"RUN!" Jade shrieked.
They ran for their lives and Jade felt a yank on her hair. She fell backwards and Stanley moved past her. The Rottweiler snapped at Jade, tugging her pants. It barked and chomped down on her leg again, barely missing her flesh. Jade took off her pants and ran off, seeing it tear it to pieces. Jade jogged away and looked around to see that Stanley and Lavender where nowhere to be found.
"Psst! Jade! Up here!" Lavender said. Stanley and Lavender were perched on a tree and Jade put her hands to her hips.
"What the hell? You left me!" Jade said seeing Lavender frown.
"I was doing you a favor Jade. I gave you the privilege of being the first one to get bit!" she said. Jade rolled her eyes and turned around to see the Rottweiler eyeing her like a piece of meat.
"I'm dead!" Jade yelled.
The Rottweiler barked and Jade sprinted off, running so fast and so hard like she had never ran in her life. She saw a filthy garbage tank nearby and recounted of a story Fred told her while one of his ex-girlfriends unleashed a Snidget after him. She didn't know whether or not if it would work for a dog but she jumped into the garbage tank and closed the lid on herself. Jade gagged at the horrible rotting smell of rancid food all over the place. She waited for an entire minute before she felt like her lungs would explode and opened the lid to see that the Rottweiler was nowhere in sight. She stumbled out of the garbage tank and apparated herself home.
Jade rang the doorbell to Draco's house, extremely embarrassed to show up this way without pants but he would probably make a sexual innuendo out of it anyways. Draco opened the door and looked slightly stunned to see her. As soon as the smell hit his nose, Draco choked back a gag and slammed the door in her face. After a minute, Draco opened the door again with half of his face hiding under his shirt.
"You need to hose me down in your backyard." Jade said, seeing him shake his head in disbelief.
"Why does this always happen to me?" Draco asked, walking her to the backyard.
"For your information, this happens to me not you and Lavender was completely naked. At least I came back with underwear and a shirt." Jade said seeing Draco pick up his garden hose. She could see that he was grinning under his shirt from the way the corner of his eyes crinkled.
"Thank Merlin…I love those panties." Draco said looking at her lime green panties. He gently washed her down and Jade rubbed the garbage off of herself and her hair.
"Cripes." Jade said, taking a piece of sausage out of her hair.
"Tell me again, why you were hiding out in garbage?" Draco asked.
"A dog ran after me." Jade said.
"Of course." Draco said. Draco set his hose down and Jade wrung out her hair, still smelling like 3 day old garbage.
"If you didn't smell so bad, I would have taken you right here." Draco said, looking down at her chest.
"I believe you." Jade said looking upwards.
She saw Mr. Jenkey and his sons peering down at her from their second story house, enjoying the wet T-shirt scene and Draco hosing her down. Draco's eyes traveled to where she was looking at and his expression changed immediately.
"That's it." Draco said going to leave. Jade jumped forward and grabbed Draco's arm, dragging him back into the house.
"Did you get to eat?" Jade asked as they went up to the bathroom. Draco shook his head and started the bath water for Jade.
"Why not?" Jade asked. He leaned against the wall, lazily pressing a small button to create a perfumed bubble bath.
"I couldn't eat without you. I didn't feel like it after our last conversation." Draco sighed looking at her. Jade frowned and Draco touched her neck.
"I don't want to fight about this anymore…I hate fighting with you. I know we don't see eye to eye with everything but I'm trying not to let that bother us." He said seeing Jade nod.
"Are we okay?" he asked seeing Jade nod again.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to fight about this either." Jade said seeing Draco nod.
"I know and it's okay. I love you." He said kissing her lightly. Jade felt that emotional whirlwind inside of her again and saw him take a few steps back, fanning his hands around.
"Yeah I love you but I can't stand this smell Jade. You stink like horseshit on a hot day." He said seeing Jade give him the middle finger.
"Sit on this jerk." Jade said. Draco grinned and walked out of the bathroom.
"I'll bring dinner up here so we can eat and I can wash you off." Draco said.