Clandestine Wishes

Must say goodbye

Hermione arrived in her flat with a loud thud. She almost didn't make it to the couch before she felt her legs give in. She rested her head back, her swollen eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling. It has been two years since she last laid her eyes on him, and in those years, she thought she already managed to purge him out of her heart. What a lie that was. She pinched the bridge of her nose as a loud sigh escaped her lips, "Reality sucks-" she paused to turn her head towards the breakfast counter, spotting the Vodka that was given to her last month. "Better drown it with alcohol," she mumbled as she forced herself to stand up, sluggishly making her way towards the kitchen.

Of all the days to visit Hogwarts, why did she have to do it tonight? Why does it have to be in the same place she decided to break his heart? And why the hell is he thinking about bloody what ifs and if only's? Fate must really hate his guts, Draco concluded bitterly. He slipped his hands under his head and used it as a makeshift pillow. His eyes are still throbbing from being overused but he still kept it fixed on the starless sky, his mind involuntarily drifting back to where and how it all started.


It was one cold afternoon when he decided to make the biggest change in his life. It was raining cats and dogs outside; yet, he really can't hear it due to the loud ringing in his ears. He clutched his robe tighter as he stopped right in front of the double doors that leads to the library. He took a deep breath, "It's now or never Draco, don't fuck it up," he said to himself, trying his hardest to calm his frayed nerves.

He pushed the doors open and briskly made his way towards the bookshelves he knows she'll be perusing tonight. He lowered himself on the floor and started pulling out random books from the lower shelf, stacking them on top of each other, making his ruse more believable. He then pulled his Ancient Runes textbook from his satchel, making sure to check his sand keeper before slipping his finger between the bookmarked pages, his eyes scanning over the passages he'd read a thousand times. Getting lost in the subject he deemed, his favorite.

He was turning over to the next page when he felt her presence. He knew it was her, so he didn't even lift his eyes from what he's reading. He waited for any form of acknowledgement, but it looked like the shock of seeing him there, made her mum. He flicked to the next page, feigning nonchalance, pretending that his heart is not about to jump out of his chest. He swallowed back his nervousness and braced himself for what he's about to do, "You've been standing there for quite some time Granger," he said, silently thanking Merlin for not letting his voice crack.

-End of Flashback

He was jarred back to the present when he heard a loud snapping sound. He hastily sat up, his hand automatically reaching for his wand. He scanned his surroundings, looking for a possible source of the noise. When he didn't see anyone or anything lurking around the Pitch, he hastily stood up from his perch. He dusted off his pants, his senses still high on alert. He started making his way back to the gates, his steps pounding loudly as his heart. He was almost halfway towards the large metal frame when something caught his gaze. He thought about ignoring it, but for some unfathomable reason, he felt compelled to check it out. He sat on his haunches and muttered Lumos, pointing the tip of his wand closer to the ground to see the object clearly. "She must've dropped this," he said as he plucked the familiar pendant from the grass. He closed his hand tightly around the charm as he shakily stood up, "Why? Why do you still have this?" he asked, his voice hoarse with pain. He shoved his hand inside his pocket and took deep calming breaths. When he's sure that his knees won't buckle, he resumed his trek towards the gate, disapparating with a loud crack.

The next day:

Hermione let out a pitiful groan as she turned to her side. Her mouth tastes foul and her head is throbbing like a bunch of hippogriffs are stampeding inside her skull. She stayed in the same prostate position for a couple of minutes before she decided to move again. Slowly, she opened her eyes and started scooting towards the edge of the bed. She pushed herself up and planted her feet to the floor. She checked the time on her alarm clock and mentally cursed when she saw how late it was. She started rubbing her temples as she groggily dragged herself towards the door, "Stupid vodka," she muttered as she stepped out into the hallway.

"Closure, this just for closure," Draco said to himself as he slipped the parchment inside the envelope. "She already said what she has to say; now it's your turn. Time to finally say goodbye," he added. Face full of determination and heart filled with resolve, he pressed his family seal on top of the hot wax. He waited for the seal to harden, before grabbing the envelope from the table. He stood up from his chair and made his way towards eagle-owl perched on his window sill. "Take this to Hermione, Morpheus, make sure she gets it," he said as tied the letter to its leg.

A cup of coffee, dried toasts and a bottle of Hangover Potion - that's what Hermione had to ingest to be able to feel a bit human again. She doesn't normally drink herself to stupor, in fact, she seldom drinks. Truth be told, she only gives in to that compulsion when her mind drifts towards her painful past, towards him specifically. Last night has been a prime example of that, her headache from hell too. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, "It's not like you will see him again, he's probably purging you out of his system after your botched apology," she rationalized.

She closed her eyes and tilted her face up, filling her lungs with as much as fresh air as she can. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes again and made her way towards the new recliner she bought form IKEA last week. Gingerly, she sat down and lifted her legs; resting her aching back on the comfortable cushions she got as a freebie. She folded her arms on top of her stomach, preparing herself for a catnap. She was about to close her eyes, but was forced to stop when she noticed a large owl flying towards her. She narrowed her eyes to get a better look at the bird and felt her heart drop to her stomach as soon as she recognizes it. "M-morpheus..." she gasped.

The majestic owl hooted loudly in greeting before gracefully perching itself on top the balcony railing. It bobbed his head towards her, sticking its scrawny leg that's holding a letter - his letter.

It took a couple of calming breaths before she was able to move. She planted her feet on the floor and willed her legs to take her towards the railing. She lifted her hand and gently petted its bulbous head, "It's been a long time, Morpheus" she said.

Morpheus leaned his head to her palm, cooing softly in response.

She smiled, "I've missed you too,"

Morpheus hooted again, sticking his leg that bears the package he's tasked to deliver.

"Still impatient as your owner, huh?" she joked as she shakily untied the strings. "There, got it."

Morpheus leaned forward and nipped her finger affectionately. He then spread his beautiful wings before taking off into the clear blue sky.

She watched him disappear from her line of sight before moving her eyes to the letter in her hand. She stared at the envelope with apprehension, torn between burning it without reading or reading it before burning. "You're a Gryffindor for Merlin's sake, open it!" her mind screamed at her. She squared her shoulders and slipped her finger under the flap, breaking the seal. She pinched the parchment inside, pulling it out without further preamble.

"Meet me at the Black Lake before dusk - I have what you're looking for..."

"Huh?" her brows furrowed in confusion. She flipped the parchment around, checking if he wrote something on the back. "What are you-"she paused, her blood turning cold. Her other hand automatically snapped towards her neck, searching for the familiar chain that never left her neck for years. She dropped his letter as she ran towards door, hastily making her way towards her room. She grabbed her wand from the side table, frantically swishing it, "Accio necklace!" she screamed, her voice cracking with tears. The dresser near her bed snapped open, as two necklaces she didn't know she still have, zoomed towards her. "N-n-no!" she whimpered as she fell on the floor. "Not again!"

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