Time Of Death
Dean rode all the way to the hospital with his heart racing, he told the paramedic exactly what had happened, though he kept it as brief as possible, putting all his attention on Sam.
Sam never once opened his eyes, sweat poured over his trembling body. His groans of pain cut deep into Dean, all he could think was that he should have done something, anything to keep Sam from feeling this pain. Why couldn't he have somehow taken that bullet instead?
Every bump they went over, no matter how little they bounced seemed to exacerbate Sam's pain. Dean did all he could to let Sam know that he was there, he just couldn't lose it in front of these people, he had to be the strong one.
"Sam, you are gonna be fine, you are strong." His voice was soft and gentle. This was the voice he used when he and Sam had been younger and Sam would be afraid of something. Dean had always been there to reassure his brother and that didn't change just because they were older.
They finally arrived at the hospital after what seemed like forever. The paramedics wheeled Sam inside the hospital towards the emergency room with Dean at their heels. It was a flurry of activity that Dean wasn't able to follow, nurses firing off questions as well as orders. "Gun shot through the chest cavity. Serious condition."
Once they arrived at the emergency room, Dean finally found the limit of how far he could go with Sam. "You need to stay out here sir."
Dean glared at the doctor. "I need to go in with him. He's my little brother, he needs me."
"Sir, I understand your concern, but if you go in there, you will most likely get underfoot. We are doing everything we can for him right now, right now they are trying to stabilize him. We will tell you everything we can once we finish, now stay out here." The doctor's voice held an authoritative edge to it that reminded of the orders he used to get from his dad, it left no room for argument.
Like hell he understood, from where Dean stood, that doctor didn't understand a goddamn thing. He didn't understand the bond between the brothers or that they had been keeping each other alive for years. Dean used to tell Sam. "I've saved your ass so many times, my name should be branded on it." Sam had kept Dean alive too, more emotionally then anything, Sam had such a comforting presence about him, though Dean would die before admitting that to Sammy.
The doctor turned and walked into the room, the room was abuzz with nurses running, following the orders of the doctors. As there was nothing that he could do short of busting in and getting himself thrown in prison, Dean headed to the waiting room. He didn't sit for a moment though, he paced so much that he likely wore a track in the floor.
A thousand thoughts ran through Dean's head, most blaming himself for Sam getting shot. If only he had given the guy the keys, if only he had pushed Sam out of the way, if only...
Dean couldn't handle losing Sam, he had barely gotten through losing their dad, losing Sam would kill Dean, at least inside. Was Dean being selfish? Clinging to Sam for his own sake?
Dean shook his head. No, he couldn't start thinking like that. Sam didn't give up on Dean when he had technically died, so Dean would sure as hell not give up on Sam. Dean began recalling a few of their adventures, starting with the first one, right before Jess died.
Dean had never told Sam, although he hated the demon for killing Jess and hurting Sam, he was glad that Sam had stayed with him.
Now all Dean could think was if he hadn't gone to Sam then, Sam wouldn't be in the hospital bleeding and fighting for his life. He would have been with Jess, maybe married by now and a lawyer. Dean had brought Sam back into the hunting life, not only to have Sam help find their dad, but to be brothers again.
Those few years that Sam was at college sucked for Dean. Dean had to smile when he remembered the small prank war that Dean had started. It had ended with Sam super-gluing Dean's hand to a beer bottle. Sammy always was a smart one.
Against Dean's will, he began thinking of what life would be like if Sam...
All he saw was him being alone and he hated it.
Dean heard a loud beeping coming from the emergency room and heard panic in a doctor's voice. "Get me paddles."
Screw what the doctor had said, Dean ran into the room in time to see the doctor place the paddles on Sam's chest. "Clear" The jolt caused Sam's body to jump. It felt like the flat line was screaming in Dean's ears, he watched as they tried three more times, finally they put the paddles down, shaking their heads.
A nurse tried to escort Dean out of the ER but he wouldn't have it. They stopped... No! Goddamnit no! Dean was outraged. "Don't stop! Don't you freakin give up on him!" The desolation in his voice was heart-breaking. He wanted to somehow take over, grab the paddles and get Sam's heart going again.
The doctors looked at Dean, sadness in their eyes. "I don't want your pity, just keep trying." At this point, two security guards had arrived to forcibly remove Dean from the room. "Sam!" He shouted. This couldn't be happening.
The nurse walked up to the older doctor, saying the words that left Dean feeling so empty. "Time of death."