I had packed my things and left the voice-mail on Tara's phone. Then I went to the woods and phased. I howled once and ran. I didn't decide what route to take but I had decided to stay with Peter and Charlotte for a while. I just hoped that Alice wouldn't tell Carlisle right away. Everything that was happening caught up to me. The thing with Jason, Sam not being Alpha anymore and Carlisle wanting to be with me, then acting like a bipolar jerk. It was just a little too much. After ten hours of endless running, I decided to get some food. I phased back and entered a dinner planning to find out where I was. My phone rang. It was a message from Peter.
You can stay as long as you want. Char says hi.
It made me smile that they liked me enough to let me stay with them for a while. I liked them too. Sometimes more than the Cullens except Carlisle of course.
Aw shucks you make me blush. I rolled my eyes. his gift again
Not a gift I am Peter all-mighty. How does he do that?
look behind you
"Hello Peter and Charlotte." I said not turning around.
"What happened sugar? you seem so sad." Charlotte said
"The same thing that happened with most of the guys I met in Colorado. Only this time my imprint was the culprit." I answered quietly keeping the tears away.
"Carlisle? are you serious?" Charlotte asked. I nodded while I scratched my chest at the spot where my heart is.
"What did he do?" Peter asked after they both had sat down on the other sides of the table.
"Well, he tried to cheer me up because I was really worried for the health and safety inspection which was supposed to be today. I was supposed to be in charge and I worried because the one in charge always either leaves or gets fired. Anyway, Alice being herself thought that a day of shopping would work but it didn't and I told them that all I needed was time with Carlisle and maybe a visit with my brother. The guys prepared a nice dinner and left me and Carlisle alone. We had a nice time together having dinner and watching a movie. After the movie he asked me to do a small fashion show because he was curious about what I bought during the shopping spree. The first dress was fine and he danced a little with me when I showed it but when I showed him my dress for going out, things went wrong. Somehow he knew that the dresses weren't all I had bought and he was teasing me at first about it but then he started touching me. He stole my bra and acted like the men I met before he found him.
I felt humiliated and hurt that he could be like that when he was so sweet before. I went to my room ignoring him and when I had cried myself to sleep, I woke up to fighting. Sam knew somehow that I was hurt and he was fighting with Carlisle about it. Carlisle had broken Sam's right arm and leg. I got in between as fast as possible and protected Sam. Then I punched Carlisle when he tried to comfort me and he lied about the fight and my pain. I went to my apartment without telling them. The next day I tried to cut myself with a scalpel at work because of the pain. Then I decided to take a holiday and here I am." I explained the whole story while almost trying to dig my heart out.
"Does it hurt you so much to be away from him?" Charlotte asked. I nodded looking down.
"Well then you can come with us and stay. I know that if you do, you will be pleasantly surprised and everything will be all right." Peter suggested.
"if you are okay with me staying then I'll stay for a while." I answered them. I paid for my food and we left the dinner. I could barely walk because of the pain in my heart. Peter was typing on his phone while Charlotte led me to their truck. I guessed That he was telling 1asper about me being with them.
"Peter are you telling Jasper about me being here?" I asked to be sure.
"Yes, It's necessary if you want things to be right." he said.
"Can you tell them not to worry too much?" I asked.
"I could try but I don't think that will help them. Carlisle was in the same state as you were at work. He has tried to provoke Jasper to get into the Major mode by insulting his mate. I think that it won't be long before he will come our way." Peter said. I nodded in understanding and we drove to their home. The ride was quiet except for the music playing on the radio. Char sang along trying to make me join her. I humoured them and sang softly.
After a half an hour driving we arrived at a beautiful two story house wiwth light brown stone and a dark brown roof. It looked like a farm. It even had some stables. Where I could hear the heartbeat of... horses?
"How can there be horses that are not scared of you?" I asked the two vamps. "We don't know but we found them when we hunted two years ago. Jasper had calmed them and since then they stayed with us." Charlotte answered.
I didn't really listen to her since I was thinking of Carlisle. I missed him so badly. "Sara what are you thinking about?" Peter asked
"What I always think of if I am not distracted." I answered wanting to sleep the pain off.
"get some rest. we can talk when you wake up." Peter said. I did as he said and went to the guest room. It was a simple room for two people I put my bag down and dived in bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.
After two hours I woke up. The pain was lessening as if Carlisle was coming closer to finding me. I had a shower and got dressed in a simple white shirt which had the silhouette of a howling wolf on it and jeans. I didn't wear shoes. I walked downstairs smelling pancakes being made.
It was Charlotte, I saw Peter sitting his face full of flour. There were eggs and bacon and some salad on the table my stomach growled at seeing that. The kitchen had this homely feeling to it. It really was a farmer's house like those on the television. I sat down and closed my eyes for a bit. Not to pray but to think of Sam and the pack for a bit. It's something I had begun with when I went to college. It helped me to make the pain I felt, for not being at Carlisle's side, lessen a bit.
"Good afternoon Sara how are you feeling?" Peter asked as I ate the meal. I shrugged and swallowed.
"Carlisle is coming closer. I can feel it as the pain is lessening. I don't know what to do or say when he comes." I told them what I was thinking when I had my shower.
"Did you tell Carlisle why he shouldn't have done what he did?" Charlotte asked as she put the final pancakes on the table.
I shook my head looking down realizing my mistake. "Then start with that to him. You know that he would help you to work on your issues." Peter advised.
"You think he will listen?" I asked uncertain of it. I knew Carlisle was a great guy, but not a single man I was with tried to listen to me. Except for Sam and Riley that is. I wasn't ready to talk to Jason about that before we broke up.
"I am sure of it. Why don't you think he will?" Charlotte asked.
"I don't know what to think of it actually. I have met many men who wouldn't listen if I said that I didn't like their attitude towards me. They made me lose some trust in them on that part." I told them. The pain was even more lessening. As if he could feel my longing and that I felt miserable about how I acted. He felt the same. I had forgotten that I could feel my imprint's emotions. I put my fork and knife on the table ran outside the house, phased and howled to help my imprint find me. Within an hour he came through the woods. He had leaves and in his beautiful golden hair and dirt on his clothes. I lowered my head looking at him with guilt and love. He approached me quickly and wrapped his arms around my neck. I let him hug me trying to talk to him in this form. I wanted to cry about the pain I caused him.
"Please Sara don't do this again. It hurts me every time more than the last." He said quietly a small shake in his voice. Only Jasper and Alice had come with him and they, along with Peter and Charlotte, left us alone to talk. I turned back and we took a walk. I was thinking on how I would apologize to him. Once I thought I had everything in mind, I turned to him opening my mouth to speak. He stopped me putting a hand up. "Sara, I am sorry. I shouldn't have acted as horrible as I did. It's just that you looked so irresistible that I couldn't help but want to make you mine. The way I wanted to do it was wrong and I hope you can forgive me." He said looking truly upset that he had done that. I could feel him being upset too.
"Carlisle it wasn't your fault that I ran. I should've told you about what happened with the men I met before you came. What they tried to do to me has left me with little trust in men and I know you were just teasing but I had had too many times that I had to hurt men because of their 'teasing'. My running away from you was my way of hurting you since I can't physically hurt you as much as I want without feeling my heart burning painfully. I am so sorry " I said trying to keep my tears away. One tear fell and he reached up with his thumb, wiping it away.
"It's okay, love. I forgive you if you forgive me. I want to help you get over your issues with men but I can only help if you talk to me. Can you promise me that you will talk to me if I do something you are not comfortable with?" He asked while embracing me.
I put my head on his shoulder taking his scents in. "I promise that I will talk instead of running." I answered. Carlisle smiled when I looked up at him and I decided that the leaves in his hair annoyed me. so I reached up to pluck them out of it. I had to stand on my toes to look from above so I almost pushed my breasts in his face without noticing. He kissed right above them and I swatted his arm lightly, because I knew that he was just taking advantage of the moment like even Riley would do. I should stop thinking of Riley. Once I determined the leaves were all gone, I stepped away.
"Sara can you tell me what happened in those six years?" He asked me as we sat down near a river.
I picked a leaf of grass twirling it between my fingers and started to tell him. "When I started with college I was not much better than Bella was when Edward left her. I did only things I needed to like shopping for food and studying. That's why I could finish the course so fast. I turned every invitation to a movie or a party down until my room-mate Sally had had enough, and decided that if I didn't go to a party she would take the party to me. so for my birthday she had organized with a few friends a party. Of course we were enjoying ourselves and the boys from the basketball team were trying to get our attention. I played along which was my first mistake. The second was when one guy named Zach thought he could use my misery and made me trust him completely as he played on my trust that he wanted to help me get over the pain.
When we had gone out,
his intentions and those of the rest of the team became clear after we
had gone to another party. I had become a bit looser and had begun to
enjoy my life at college and Zach coerced me into coming with him to
his room for an after-party I realized too late that I was the only
girl. I could beat them down otherwise they would have raped me. Zach
had the nerve to say that I should just give in as I was nothing but a
whore anyway. How else could I have gotten so beautiful and rich. I
beat him to a bloody pulp and left not going out again during college.
The basketball-team was scared of me though and whenever I came to watch a game of them they won thinking that I would come after them if they lost. Some of them I had forgiven since Zach had black-mailed them into joining him. I even helped them to get rid of the black-mail. Apparently I wasn't the first girl they tried this with but I was certainly the last.
When I got offered a job at the CIA it was because of all that and because I was on top of all my classes and even took a few extra too. I can now speak French, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese, and Dutch fluently. I declined the job though knowing that they would keep track of me 24/7. So I decided to work in another lab where there wasn't a forest too far away. I got the job, worked and went out a few times with guys like Zach but I never found out they were like him before we went out."
"One of those dates was
how I met Jason who actually helped me by getting rid of one guy who I
can't remember the name of. The guy was being a pig like usual and
Jason had him removed from the museum. He comforted me and we got to
talking. He gave me a tour and once we got to the quileute exhibition, I
told him I was from that tribe. He asked things because he was
fascinated with all the arts of the Native American tribes, and somehow
he asked me out during that conversation.
I agreed and had a fun time to the movies then watching the stars on the roof of my house and I had finally found someone genuinely interested in me and not in my looks or bank account. We went on a second date together and when I got home there were certain people in my house, who shouldn't be there since my house was locked when I left." I told him smiling at the end at the memory of seeing him again after six long years.
"Who were those people in your house if I may ask?" Carlisle asked me though I knew he knew who I meant.
"Well, there was this guy named Sam who looked awfully much like my brother and then there was this handsome blond guy who I seemed to forget the name of." I answered teasingly.
"Oh, really? is it anyone I know? what was he like?"
"I think you might know him. It is a blond handsome vampire, who lives on animal blood. I picture him as a doctor sometimes. He is a gentleman and a really great cook. When he smiles I want to kiss him so bad that I can barely keep myself in control. He sometimes has this accent I believe it's British and when that comes out I want to do inappropriate things to him." I answered and I watched his eyes getting dark of desire.
"I know who you are talking about, and I can assure you that he wants to do something inappropriate to you right now." He said his voice getting a little husky.
"Then I would tell him that now was not the time as I am not exactly in the mood." I answered him. He pouted and I kissed his face as he looked so cute.
He wrapped his arms around me "Sara I promise you that I will not hurt you intentionally, but when you wore that dress in front of me I could only think of how sexy you looked and how badly I wanted you at that moment. I wanted to claim you before some other guy would make you his and then you would see that a human would be so much better as you could have a family of your own, children and grandchildren running around your house while you would sit in a rocking chair making puzzles and knitting sweaters. I was afraid that if I didn't act immediately that I would lose you." He explained what his thoughts were.
"Carlisle, I couldn't be with anyone other than you if I wanted and I don't want to because you are the most amazing man whom I ever had the honour of getting to know. I can and will only love you, Carlisle." I replied to him but secretly I wanted to cry because my imprint thought I wanted a human instead of him.