Don't Wake the Baby


Whatever you do, don't wake the baby! A simple retelling of that fateful Halloween night in 1981 when Voldemort came calling. Completely AU.

Humor / Fantasy
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

According to the story about Harry Potter, his parents were killed that fateful night on Halloween 1981 and little Harry somehow miraculously survived the encounter when the dark lord’s curse rebounded off him and struck the evil wizard down instead. Only he didn’t die and Harry had to face him again and again as he grew up until their final confrontation when Harry was seventeen. Somehow Harry was the victor again and Voldemort was gone for good this time.


I hate to break it to you, but that’s not how it happened at all. You see only James, Lily, and Harry Potter were there that night when the dark lord came calling. If Harry was the only survivor and at the mere age of 15 months old, then how does anyone know the true story? Answer – they don’t.

However, as the omniscient writer and author of this story, I do. I know exactly what happened and I am here to share it with you. It’s quite different from what you were told before.

Listen very carefully.

You see, this is just a short story about the Boy-Who-Lived. However, these words reveal a different story to the one long believed to be true. In this story, there were no horcruxes to keep Voldemort from truly dying. Voldemort simply did some very dark magic to make him harder to kill. He was a bit hung up on himself and too overly confident in his power and abilities to be worried about dying by anyone else’s hand. Besides, splitting your soul was a very dangerous thing to do. It was way too risky.

The prophecy was a little clearer too, if you read it all the way through that is. There was no doubt that Voldemort and Harry Potter would fight each other one time and one time only. They both still had a shot at winning but they would face each other only once in this story and that would be the end of it.

When Voldemort heard the first part of that prophecy, he was worried a little bit that some baby could grow up and be a challenge to him when he was older. Problem easily solved though. Just kill the baby before it could grow up and be a nuisance to him. In his mind, there was a simple solution to most problems. Usually it involved killing someone, but that solution always worked for him, so why change now?

After Wormtail revealed the secret to where the Potters lived, he somehow knew it would be the Potter kid and not the Longbottom boy. He kept it a secret that he was a half-blood. After all, his followers were all a bunch of bloodthirsty idiots who believed in blood purity. They were too stupid to realize that you need to infuse your bloodline with fresh blood from a Muggle, Muggleborn, or at the very least a half-blood, to replenish the power and prevent the line from dying out.

After all Voldemort was the son of a witch who was practically a squib while his father was a muggle. Look how powerful he turned out to be.

More and more squibs were being born to the purebloods but they were too stupid to realize what that meant. First cousins were fair pickings for marrying these days since all the purebloods were related in one way or another. Pureblood or pure stupidity? That was the question.

James Potter, a pureblood, married a Muggleborn witch named Lily Evans. Their son, Harry Potter, would be a half-blood while Neville Longbottom, the other child of prophecy, a pureblood. The choice was simple in Voldemort’s mind. If either one of those babies had a chance of growing up and being powerful enough to challenge him then his money would be on the half-blood.

The Potters were well known for being a powerful family for generations, simply because they married very carefully while maintaining their blood purity. When James fell in love with a Muggleborn, they weren’t upset about it. They knew it was time to infuse the Potter line with fresh blood. After all, they weren’t stupid. They knew it would only make them stronger.

Yes, definitely the Potter boy. He would be the one, thought Voldemort to himself. It would be a shame to have to kill a Potter, he thought, but it is what it is.

Voldemort made his way to the Potter cottage in Godric’s Hollow. Following in his wake was the secret keeper himself, Peter Pettigrew, otherwise known as Wormtail.

When he arrived, he was pleased to be able to see the house sitting there just waiting for his unexpected visit. He didn’t waste any time. The Potters may be powerful and talented but they were certainly no match for Voldemort. No, he could take them easily. He had more power and more experience. His dueling skills were unmatched.

Everyone thought Dumbledore was the only one he ever feared, but Voldemort knew better. He feared no one, especially not that doddering old fool. He may have more experience and plenty of power, but he was too old to be a real threat.

Approaching the front door, he heard James, in a loud whisper, tell his wife to take Harry upstairs while he stays back to hold off Voldemort. They evidently were alerted to him when he crossed the wards. The surprise was almost ruined, the dark lord realized. No matter. The end result would still be the same.

Harry had fallen asleep in his mother’s arms since it was after dark and his normal bed time. Harry liked his sleep so Lily was careful not to wake him as she took him upstairs.

With a flick of Voldemort’s wand the front door was blasted off its hinges and blown back into the house with a great deal of noise. Voldemort entered through the door casually as if this was a regular occurrence for him. Actually, this wasn’t his first time.

James had a serious expression on his face, and then raised his finger to his lips.

"Shhhhhh,” he shushed the dark lord with a sense of urgency.

Voldemort just looked at him like he was crazy.

"Don’t wake the baby!” James implored in a loud whisper.

Voldemort just frowned at him and raised his wand toward James. He then noticed that James was scrambling to get to the end of the sofa for some reason. Ah! His wand was laying on the end table, he noticed.

Voldemort flicked his wand again and the wand flew to his outstretched hand just before James could reach it. An evil smile came over the dark lord’s face when he caught it. However, in the moment he turned his eyes away from James to catch the wand; he missed the wandless and silent spell James cast at him. Seeing the spell coming out of the corner of his eye he twisted to get out of the way before it hit his neck. His movement caused the cutting spell to just nick his shoulder. The silent Blasting hex that James followed up with was easily picked off by Voldemort’s shield.

He certainly was not expecting wandless from this upstart but he should have anticipated it from a Potter. Impressive. He sent back his own cutting curse, which James dodged with ease. James then cast a series of spells including Expelliarmus, another cutting spell, Expelliarmus again, and a transfiguration of the broken door into a lion that immediately attacked Voldemort.

The second Expelliarmus managed to take James’ wand from Voldemort’s left hand and send it back to him. Voldemort dodged the cutting curse and the lion at the same time, turning toward it and slashing with his wand, cleaving the ferocious beast in half. He then turned back to James and just as the wand was reaching him, the dark lord unleashed a powerful stunner that caught him dead on just as his hand wrapped around his wand.

He dropped down out cold to the floor behind the sofa.

Voldemort decided not to kill the Potter parents, at least not yet. He wanted them to suffer after he killed their baby. He wanted them to feel the loss before he tortured and killed them. How dare them have a baby of prophecy that threatened Lord Voldemort? He sent a healing spell at his shoulder then walked to the stairs. He noticed James Potter laying behind the sofa still clutching the wand he should have worried with after he dodged the curse again. Really good fighter, he thought, but not quite good enough. Very impressive wandless ability. Voldemort summoned the wand again and sent an Incarcerous to tie up the man. He slipped the extra wand into his robes.

Turning, he made his way up the stairs.

When he reached the baby’s room, he sent a spell that started disintegrating the door from top to bottom. He then vanished the remains of the door and stepped into the room where Lily Potter was standing in front of her son. Harry was asleep in his crib holding onto some small stuffed animals.

Lily realized her husband failed to stop the dark lord. She hoped he wasn’t dead.

"Stay away from my son! Don’t you dare lay a finger on my baby!” she whispered.

“Move out of the way, woman,” he said in a normal voice, wondering why the parents kept whispering. After all, who cares if the baby wakes up? He’s going to die either way. “Move or I will put you down as easy as I did your husband. Then who’s going to stop me from killing the baby?”

"NO! You will not harm Harry! He’s just a baby!” she cried in a much louder and desperate whisper.

“MOVE WOMAN!” he yelled at her.

Lily turned and looked at Harry worriedly, since he was waking up. She then turned back and looked at Voldemort defiantly and dared him to try. She just started shaking her head back and forth.

“You’ve gone and done it now,” she said in a normal voice.

“STUPIFY!” he yelled angrily.

The spell hit Lily Potter right in the chest and she fell down out cold on the floor. Voldemort stepped into the room more to get a better look at his would be nemesis. Harry began standing after all the yelling and rubbing his eyes with the back of his little hands. He was holding two of his stuffed animals in those hands. One was a black dog and the other was a wolf. He looked up at Voldemort and did not look very happy at all.

“So, this is what I had to worry about, a mere baby. Why he doesn’t even know what’s going on. I just beat his father and now his mother and he hasn’t a clue.”

Harry was just standing there looking at the mean man who hurt his mother with that light. He didn’t like this man. He could sense there was something really bad about him.

“Are you ready to die, little Harry Potter?” asked Voldemort.

Harry frowned at him then threw the black dog at Voldemort as hard as he could. Voldemort moved his head and the stuffed animal flew over his shoulder.

Voldemort chuckled at the small child since that was about all he could do in defense of himself.

“I’ll take that as a no then, Harry.” Voldemort raised his wand again. “Good-bye, Harry.”

However, before he started his incantation, Harry threw his arms out and yelled “PA’FOO!”

As Voldemort was bringing his wand up, he heard a low growl behind him. Turning around he saw the biggest grim he could ever imagine. This must be Sirius Black in his animagus form, he thought. Stupid not to fight with his wand. Voldemort didn’t even know the marauder had snuck up on him. He realized he could have been killed already.

However, before he could cast a spell, the grim tackled him and started biting and scratching the dark lord all over. He was trying to get to the man’s neck and kill him but Voldemort was fighting him off as best he could. Those teeth hurt a lot when he was bitten. Voldemort cried out each time. Finally, he was able to get the tip of his wand on the grim’s side and hit it with a strong blasting curse blowing it clear across the room where it stayed.

Voldemort slowly climbed back to his feet and started once again casting healing spells on himself. He was in the middle of that and casting a healing spell on his leg when the little stuffed wolf landed at his feet. He then heard Harry say “MOO’EEY”

The next thing he knew the little stuffed wolf changed into a large grey werewolf that immediately attacked him, slicing him deep across his chest with his sharp claws. Voldemort leaped back in fear as the werewolf jumped on him. He just managed to get his wand between himself and the werewolf so hit him with the same powerful blasting curse that blew the wolf across the room where it stayed and didn’t get back up.

For the third time, Voldemort cast some healing charms on himself before he tried to stand. However, before he could finish he heard Harry say “Pwongs!” and a large stag was stabbing him with his antlers and stomping on him with his sharp hooves. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take but a quick, very strong cutting curse took the stag’s head off at its long neck where it fell and moved no more.

Getting up as fast as he could manage, which wasn’t his normal speed due to all the injuries, Voldemort decided he needed to kill this little hellion as quickly as possible before Harry did something else amazing and managed to actually kill him. When Voldemort was standing a little unsteadily on his feet, he slowly raised his wand again.

Harry saw Wormtail in his rat animagus sneak into the room behind the mean man so he was watching the rat carefully to see what he would do. Harry wasn’t very fond of Wormtail so never played with the stuffed rat he had of him. But, when the mean wizard pointed his wand at him again and started casting a spell, Harry yelled “Wormy!”

“Avada Kedavra!” Voldemort said but just before the spell could hit the child, a fat rat quickly flew through the air and intercepted the spell before it could reach little Harry.

The rat fell to the floor dead and changed back into Peter Pettigrew. Voldemort just stared at his dead servant before turning back to the child.

“What are you?” Voldemort asked with fear and disbelief. “How can you do these things?”

“GRIFFY!” Harry yelled as he looked past Voldemort.

“Griffy?” asked Voldemort confused since the child did not throw down another stuffed toy this time.

Then he heard a loud eagle cry behind him. This stuffed toy was too big for the crib so was sitting in a corner behind Voldemort. It was a smaller replica of one of the pet gryphons over at Potter Manor, named Griff. Harry loved that old gryphon and it loved him.

When Voldemort whipped around, he saw a giant gryphon standing behind him, towering way above him. Before he could move the gryphon snapped out its beak and bit his wand arm clean into at the elbow. His wand and the rest of his arm fell to the floor as blood started spurting out of the end of his stump.

Voldemort started yelling in pain.

Suddenly the yelling just stopped when the gryphon reached with his humongous claw, wrapped it around Voldemort’s chest, and squeezed hard. All the air left him and his heart burst inside as it was crushed. The gryphon just dropped the dark lord to the floor and then returned to the stuffed animal it was before, looking innocent once again.

The dark lord Voldemort, A.K.A. Tom Marvolo Riddle, was no more.

When Harry looked around the room, all of his stuffed animals were back to normal except they now had damages and lots of blood on them. He called for his mum.

“Mummy! Mummy!” he called her looking down at her on the floor, but she didn’t answer or move.

“DADA! DADA! DADA!” he yelled, but his dad did not answer or come to his call.

Little Harry thought about it for a few minutes. He was growing very sad and anxious so he called the next best person who always came when he called him.


What little Harry didn’t know was that Sirius Black was already there in the house. Sirius was Harry’s godfather and they had a magical connection. Sirius had a feeling Harry was in trouble and not happy so he apparated over to the Potter cottage to check on him but he found the door blasted open.

He then found James all tied up and out behind the couch so he removed the ropes and sent him an Enervate to wake him. He was just coming around when he heard his godson calling his name. They both ran up the stairs as fast as they could go.

James went to Lily and started waking her while Sirius picked up Harry from his crib and held him tight, comforting him.

“Are you alright, little Prongs?” he asked. “Not hurt anywhere are you?”

Harry had laid his head on his godfather’s shoulder so just shook it back and forth while he held on tight to Sirius. His godfather was patting Harry’s back and rubbing it.

“Did that mean man wake my baby?” a familiar voice asked.

Harry raised his head up and looked at his mother, then nodded his head very sleepily.

“Harry? Did you do all of this?” asked James looking at the dead Voldemort and all the bloody, stuffed animals.

Harry nodded again.

“I warned him not to wake you up,” said James.

“I did too,” added Lily.

“You did good, son. Your mum and I are very proud of you,” James said then kissed little Harry on the forehead.

Harry just yawned and laid his head back down on his godfather’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Meanwhile, James found his wand in Voldemort’s robes and Lily picked her wand up from the changing table where she left it.

"Sirius, why don’t you take Harry to the bedroom you use when you stay over. James and I will clean all this up and repair the damage,” she whispered.

Sirius just nodded slightly and took Harry carefully with him to the other bedroom while he slept. As gently as possible he laid Harry down on the bed and made sure he wouldn’t roll off. He then made the room silent from any outside noise but made sure Harry could be heard from the outside. He then very quietly and carefully left to go back downstairs and repair the front door.

The last thing he wanted to do was wake the baby.

The End

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Jopartner: Loved his epiphany and that she didn’t allow him to dismiss her.

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