Chapter 15: The Winchesters and Their Gullible Angel
“I don’t know why you’re letting the moose drive,” Crowley complained as the three headed down the road.
“Because he says he knows where the portal to heaven is,” Dean answered rolling his eyes at Crowley. “I don’t see why we’re bringing him with us Sammy.”
Sam sighed and cleared his throat. “Dean, because believe it or not he’s been more useful then not lately and he comes in handy.”
“Really is that it? Sammy he’s the king of hell!” Dean explained in an angry tone.
“Dean just drop it he’s coming okay?” Sam said sternly.
“This is bull crap that’s what this is,” Dean murmured crossing his arms upset.
“You didn’t seem to have a problem with me when you needed my help Deano!” Crowley said upset.
“Well new flash you’re never my first choi…” Dean started.
“Dean! Enough okay?!” Sam yelled holding his hand up to show Dean to be quiet.
“Sorry…” Dean mumbled again giving Sam an annoyed look like a five year old who had just been told no.
The rest of the ride was silent. Not even Dean’s music played. Sam pulled into the old abandoned parking lot parked the car. They all just sat there for a minute thinking.
“Okay I get to talk to Cas first okay?” Dean said finally making his demands clear to Sam and Crowley.
“Yes sir,” Crowley saluted him with a smile.
“No, no. Don’t do that,” Dean said with a disgusted face.
Dean and Crowley followed Sam into the beaten up building. “Things are really quiet,” Crowley whispered with a worried tone.
“Well angels aren’t exactly chatty Cathy’s,” Sam whispered back reaching for the demon blade in his pocket.
Dean swiped it out of his hand. “Thank you…” He said quietly giving Sam a small smile.
“Dean give that back!” Sam yelled softly as they approached the door.
“I don’t have any ganking material for some reason,” Dean reasoned patting down his jacket.
Sam sighed. “I don’t think it’s best you have any weapon in here,” Sam said pulling the knife back from Dean.
“Dude what the hell?” Dean argued.
“Trust me Dean, it’s for your own good!” Crowley sided with Sam.
Dean dramatically rolled his eyes and pressed his lips together. “What am I supposed to use?”
“Nothing! Show them you’re not armed!” Sam suggested.
“What? No!” Dean said defensively.
Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and rounded the corner to the room with the portal. Dean entered and his eyes widened. He took a deep breath and turned to Sam with a questioning look. Sam shrugged his shoulders as if to say I don’t know. He was lying of course.
“Man this place is a wreck!” Crowley said pushing a dead body slightly with his foot.
“What happened?” Dean asked surprised by the massacre.
Crowley looked over at Sam for guidance on what to say. Sam gave him a look that said ‘make something up.’ Crowley smiled, “I have no idea. Maybe it’s angel on angel violence.”
Dean looked at him curiously and shrugged. “So Cas is this way?” He asked walking towards the door hanging on by a thread.
“Yeah… probably,” Sam answered with an unsure tone.
“Well the best way to check is to go in,” Crowley said reaching the door before Dean.
“Whoa, whoa hey! Do you really think it’s wise to let the king of hell into heaven?” Dean asked Sam pulling Crowley back.
“Yes its fine!” Sam replied tired of the mundane repeats.
“Are you okay Sammy? You seem a little on edge…” Dean said looking Sam in the eye.
“Yeah I’m just tired,” Sam mumbled rolling his eyes.
Dean looked away hesitantly and pulled Crowley away from the door. He reached for the handle and pulled the door open. There were dusty old filling cabinets and old broken spinney chairs scattered about the room. “Is this heaven?” Dean asked confused.
“Um, no, this is not heaven…” Sam said taking a depressing look around the room. “Cas must have moved the portal.”
“What!?” Dean yelled angrily. “You gotta be kidding me!?” He banged his fist against the wall.
“How the hell are we supposed to find the angel now?” Crowley asked upset.
“I- I don’t know…. He obviously moved it because he doesn’t want to be found…” Sam answered watching Dean.
Dean’s face was scrunched up in anger and was taking deep angry breaths. “Son of a bitch!” He yelled startling Sam. Dean looked up at him eyes black. “It’s happening again Sammy! My eyes!” Dean rubbed them with the palm of his hand.
“Dean…” Sam took a step towards Dean.
Dean backed away from Sam with a horrified look on his face. “Don’t come near me!”
“Dean let me help you!” Sam said trying to calm him down.
“I don’t want to be here right now! Go away!” Dean grabbed the sides of his head suddenly feeling dizzy and squeezed his eyes shut.
Everything was silent. Dean’s swift dizziness was gone and he ran his hands over his face. He looked up and become startled when he realized he was standing alone in a polluted field. At first he was frightened.
“Sammy?!” He called out into the late afternoon air. When no one answered he tried again, “Sammy?! Crowley?!” No one answered.
He soon realized though this was exactly what he wanted. To be away. Just to think. He walked over to an old rusty car with missing doors and sat down in the passenger seat. He rubbed his face and sighed. All he could think about was Cas. Dean was so confused about everything. So many pieces were missing. Dean kept seeing things. Sammy was acting weird. But the one thing that kept slipping into his mind was how much he missed Cas.
Dean decided to do something he knew he only did for Cas. He clasped his hands together and began to pray, “Cas… please listen… I need you buddy. Just come here and we’ll work things out. I’m sorry if I had scared you or made you think I don’t care about you. Cas I do care about you. I need you. Just please hear me out Cas. Please…” He squeezed his eyes tight and tried to relax. He opened them a tad relieved to see things looked normal. But no Cas. “Cas Damn it!” He yelled. “Come back to me…. Please…”
Dean looked up surprised when he had heard a light flapping sound. “Hello Dean,” The low groggy voice he loved said. He saw Cas in front of him. He had never been so relieved.
“Cas,” Dean mumbled excitedly standing up and pulling Cas into a huge hug. He felt Cas’ arms around him, and smiled into Cas’ neck. “God! Never scare me by leaving like that again!” Dean scolded tightening up around Cas. He felt Cas arms drop. Dean pulled away and looked at Cas confused.
“Dean I came to tell you good-bye…” Cas announced after a few moments.
“Cas what are you talking about?” Dean asked with a worried smile. He grabbed Cas’ face when he wouldn’t say anything and forced Cas to look into his eyes. “Cas tell me what you mean!” Dean demanded.
“I’m…” Cas sighed and took a deep breath. “I’m going to kill myself…”
Dean just looked at Cas unable to move afraid what he had just heard escape Cas’ lips. “Wh- what do you mean you’re going to kill yourself?”
“Dean I mean I’m going to end my life. All I seem to do is bring destruction down on everything. I’ve done so much more bad then good in this world. And the more good I think I’m doing the more harm is caused,” Cas explained.
“Cas no. Look you are not going to kill yourself okay? We’re going to get through this,” Dean pulled Cas back into a hug not wanting to let go.
“Dean there is nothing to get through,” Cas mumbled into Dean’s shoulder.
“Then we’ll get out of it! You and me, huh? No more hunting, no more heaven, no more hell, okay? We’re out, we’re done for good, okay?” Dean tried to reason.
“Dean I came to say good-bye and to thank you for showing me what you did…” Cas said. “But you and me getting out? We’re never truly out. And you forcing yourself to be with me, is the last thing you deserve. I will be the last angel to die in this heavenly war.”
“No,” was all Dean could manage. He just kept murmuring no’s into Cas’ neck shaking his head. He soon found himself planting little kisses in Cas’ neck between the no’s. He heard Cas take a sharp intake of air and lost it and went in for heavier kisses. He licked over Cas’ neck tasting him wanting him more and more. Dean couldn’t control himself he needed Cas.
“Dean,” Cas sighed in a loud moan clearly trying to focus on something other than Dean’s mouth on his neck.
“Hmmm?” Dean hummed kissing down Cas’ jaw line.
“Dean… this is…. Oh god!... this is inappropriate!” Cas was breathing heavy now trying to focus.
“No Cas it isn’t!” Dean said pulling back for a moment. “Cas I love you! I should have said right after you did! No I should have said it first! Cas I love you! If you kill yourself what would I do, huh?” Dean leaned back in kissing Cas passionately.”What would I do without these lips, huh?” Dean kissed his lips. “What would I do without these hands?” Dean placed a kiss on each of Cas’ hands. “What would I do without your amazing personality, all those amazing things you do? Huh? How you do nothing but care for others and always do the right thing? Huh? Cas? I need you! I love you!” He placed a long kiss on Cas’ forehead. He pulled back and placed his forehead on Cas’. “I can’t lose you, Cas, I can’t…”
“Dean trust me it’s better this way….” Cas said after a second pain twanging the sound of his voice.
“No…. no it’s not, Cas,” Dean shook his head.
“I’m sorry but I have to do this…” Cas tried pushed Dean away, but Dean wouldn’t budge.
All this made Dean feel… he didn’t know how he was feeling. Why Cas was suddenly giving up now was beyond him. After all the times in the past to give up and Cas was choosing now? Dean went from sadness to anger. He felt his eyes tint again and start to burn, bright light flashing in front of him.
Suddenly the thing he was holding on to didn’t look like Cas anymore. But it was strangely beautiful. Dean just stared at the magnificent creature in his arms. It was huge but oddly small at the same time. It smelled like Cas’ lovely enticing scent that could only be described as ‘angel.’ Dean wasn’t sure what had just happened but he honestly didn’t care. This frightening yet graceful creature was looking right at him, with the same loving look Cas always had. The being in front of him looked like a perfect sculpture of the most beautiful thing god could think of making. He could see the long wings that stretched much longer then he had thought they could. Feathers though dripped from the battered wings like slow tears. Was it possible this was Cas’ true form? Was Dean seeing Cas for real for the first time? Dean let out a low gasp in awe.
“Dean,” the voice sounded like Cas’. It was Cas’. Everything about the creature was Cas.
“Cas,” Dean sighed amazed. “I can see the real you.” Dean couldn’t look away.
Cas just looked back. “Yes Dean,” Cas replied after a silent moment of deciding whether or not to flee.
“You’re beautiful,” Dean whispered running his fingers over the perfect soft smooth surface of Cas’ face. Dean’s eyes scanned rapidly over Cas not sure he would be able to see enough of this. “You see this every time you see and angel?”
“No, since I got my grace back there is only one trait that escapes me. And that is sight of soul. I can’t see angel souls, demon souls… any souls since I got my grace back...” Cas sighed. “It will come back with time though…besides all angels look different.”
Sudden realization crunched up on Dean’s face though. “Cas?” he asked softly after a second the next part of his question caught in his throat. “Why can I see you?”
The beautifully indescribable face before him looked back at him with a deep sorrow. “Dean, I don’t know how long Sam was going to try and keep this from you but you need to know. You’re a demon and you can see me because your eyes are black. You have the sight of soul.”
Dean blinked in confusion and suddenly everything was back the way it was. Cas back to looking like his old self, that Dean loved just as much as the form he had just discovered. The odd tint was gone. “What?” he murmured not sure he had heard Cas correctly. Dean dropped his arms from Cas.
Cas looked at him sincerely. “Crowley brought you back after Metatron had killed you, but as a demon. He said it was bound to happen soon anyways because of the mark. You helped me find my grace and thought I was dead when my vessel was recovering. You then laid waste to heaven and fought your way in to kill Metatron. Once you did you, tried to kill Sam and Crowley but I managed to stop you and we tried to cure you. But Sam had began to become sick because if he had finished curing you… he’d technically finish the trials. So we instead cut off the mark,” Cas explained.
“Sammy almost died? I- I tried to kill him?” Dean breathed shocked.
Cas dragged his eyes over Deans face. “He’s fine now Dean.”
“All those bodies at the entrance where the portal was supposed to be? Those were?” Dean couldn’t finish his sentence, so instead he just pointed at himself. Cas nodded slowly. Dean’s lips pulled into a low frown and he swallowed thickly. “I- I’m a demon?” The word a left sour taste in his mouth even though there was no flavor.
“Dean I’m sorry,” Cas said wanting to comfort Dean but was unsure how.
“How did I get here?” Dean asked after a while.
“You did it yourself…” Cas answered.
“How?” Dean questioned stepping towards Cas.
“You’re a demon. You can do what they do. You wanted to leave so you left,” Cas explained.
Dean looked around the field now noticing the sun had set and the dark surrounded them. “Crowley said he needed you,” Dean said after a minute.
Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean changing the subject. “Dean I’m leaving I came to say good-bye.”
“No you’re not,” Dean said looking at Cas with concern. “No you’re not leaving me…”
“You promised,” Dean pointed at Cas a bit worked up. “And now I finally have you. I can admit I care. That… That I love you. You’re not leaving me… There is no way.”
“Okay,” Cas said with an unsure look on his face.
“Just come home with me… we’ll figure this out, okay?” Dean pleaded.
Cas nodded and they we’re suddenly back at the bunker. Dean had been gone long enough for Crowley and Sam to get back to the bunker with time to spare. This is probably where they came to look for Dean. “Sam?!” He called hoping for a response.
“Dean!” a response came but it was quick and muffled at the end, with a hint of ‘save me!’ mixed in.
Dean and Cas looked at each other worriedly for a second. They ran quick down the hall to Sam’s room. Dean kicked the door open to see Sam tied down to a chair and Crowley holding something to his arm.
“Thanks for this by the way Cas,” Crowley smiled contently holding up the first blade.
“You said you were going to burn it,” Dean said confused.
“Well I lied, you can’t destroy it. You were there Cain said it can’t be destroyed, he wasn’t lying,” Crowley said matter-of-factly.
Cas patted his pockets eyes wide. “Give it back,” Cas demanded in a low growl.
“Oops…” Crowley snapped his fingers and the blade disappeared. “I think I put it someplace you can’t get it…” Crowley laughed.
“What are you doing to Sam?” Cas asked eyeing Crowley’s tight grip on Sam’s forearm.
“It was never meant for Dean…” Crowley sighed shaking his head.
“What wasn’t meant for me?” Dean asked alarmed.
“The title of demon… Knight of hell,” Crowley explained with a low tone. Sam muffled something but no one could make out what it was because he was gagged.
“One brother in heaven… One brother in hell. Huh? Cas?” Crowley asked curious.
“What are you talking about?” Cas questioned.
“The book,” Crowley pulled a large clump of papers out of his jacket. “Metatron’s book, he lied to you ya know?”
“How did you get that?” Cas asked worry hung on his voice.
“Nabbed it last time Dean threw a temper tantrum…” Crowley chuckled winking at Dean.
“What the hell are you doing to Sammy!?” Dean yelled annoyed.
“Calm down Dean really… Sammy is going to be just fine…” Crowley patted Sam’s forearm lightly and then pressed down hard.
Sam let out an unpleasant moan and arched his back in pain. “Let him go you son of a bitch!” Dean tried to move but found he couldn’t. Dean looked up annoyed at the devil’s trap he found.
“Stop,” Cas yelled moving closer.
“Ah… ah…ah,” Crowley teased quickly lighting the holy oil circle around Cas.
“What are you doing to my little brother?!” Dean called furious eyes black. He tried not to focus on the hideousness off Crowley’s soul.
“Now… I read over this and it’s actually not bad…. Not bad at all,” Crowley said letting go of Sam revealing a soggy cloth. He held up the mass of papers and flipped through it. Sam heaved uncomfortable. “Moose shush now I’m busy…” Crowley rolled his eyes with a little chuckle. “Turns out this was supposed to be Sam’s job to be the demon and you die and go to heaven. Things got kind of mixed up but I’m putting it in its rightful place.”
“Why are you doing this? Everything Metatron is, is evil,” Cas asked confused.
“Can’t be all bad if he locked up heaven now can he? Now all the souls no matter where they were destined to go, go to hell,” Crowley laughed.
“We are starting to let souls in through the portal,” Cas explained.
“Yeah can’t have that because you know better than most people… more souls equals more power,” Crowley smiled. “So I can’t let you do that…”
“I trusted you… We all did!” Dean growled.
“I don’t know why… I’m the bloody king of hell! The title is a dead giveaway I’m not to be trusted. But you Winchesters and your gullible angel are too easy to fool,” Crowley turned back to Sam and gave him an encouraging look. “Now we’ll pull it off on three…. Ready?” Sam shook his head nervously. “One… Two…” Crowley ripped off the cloth on Sam’s arm and Sam let out a muffled scream. “I would have waited until three but I got excited.”
Dean stared at Sam’s arm in horror. The mark of Cain was now on Sam’s forearm. “You son of a bitch!” Dean yelled unsuccessfully trying to break out of the devil’s trap.
“King of hell, what are you going to do?” Crowley laughed, he snapped his fingers and Sam and him were gone.