Chapter 19: A Bigger Cockroach than Me
“Ya had to go and piss off Metatron didn’t ya?” Crowley mocked angrily scolding Dean.
“Oh blow it out your ass!” Dean replied feeling foolish. “I should have notice it wasn’t you. I mean he actually called us our names… and he was all over his own story like self promotion. He said he read a lot… he wanted me in heaven’s jail…”
“How long has it been?” Cas asked Crowley trying to get him off of making Dean feel like crap.
“He nabbed me when I was searching for a way to get rid of the mark,” Crowley sighed sitting down leaning his back against the invisible wall of his cell. “He pumped me full of human blood and I became very… high… next thing I know I’m stuck down here with a half empty tissue box and “The Note Book” on replay,” He pointed over at the old TV plugged in the corner of the room.
“It’s off…” Charlie said curiously.
“Well yeah I can only take so much…” Crowley shrugged. “Who are you?”
“I’m Charlie…” Charlie introduced herself.
“Oh yes the strong red head Dean told me about! He’s very fond of you,” Crowley smiled.
“When pray tell, did I tell you anything?” Dean asked. “When we thought Metatron was you he said the same thing.”
“Oh no! Did you lose your memory when you lost the mark?” Crowley asked. “It said that was a side effect?”
“Yeah,” Cas answered for Dean with a sigh.
“Oh poor Squirrel…” Crowley murmured.
“I gave him the basic background information,” Cas said.
“Oh well did you tell him about how before we saw you two again how there was just three weeks of me and Dean?” Crowley asked raising his eyebrows. Cas shook his head. “Well Dean-o you and I spent three wonderful weeks together that have now gone completely down the toilet. You told me all about you… I told you all about me… it was nice. Metatron took my memories from me, that’s why he knew.”
“Yeah sounds like a dream vacation,” Dean said sarcastically.
“He told me all about you Charlie dear,” Crowley explained turning the conversation toward her. “Apparently you are very bright and smart. You have computer skills out of this world but you’re also not a complete shut in like most people in that profession. I also hear you make Squirrel happy and you’re one of his best friends. And the way he described your image by the way, does not do you justice. You darling are beautiful!”
Charlie smiled blushing. “Thank you…. Dean really told you all that?”
“Yeah,” Crowley said giving her a kind look. “And I know that I may have come off rude and well, frankly a dick, but believe me that was Metatron. I’m really quite lovely.”
“I can see that,” Charlie giggled.
“No don’t give in to his ways, Charlie… That’s how he gets ya…” Dean told her and then turned to Crowley. “Stop talking to my friends!”
“Baby moose no! I’m the king of hell, I do what I want!” Crowley said giving him a smirk.
“Okay then ‘King of Hell’ everyone outside of this room seems to think that Metatron is you… so we have to get out of here save Sam and gank Metatron in the process,” Dean replied.
“You already tried that and that didn’t work!” Crowley laughed.
“It’s true Dean… How he survived is a mystery. He was in bits and pieces… nothing was left,” Cas added.
“It’s not a mystery Cassie…” Crowley sighed. “You all are forgetting that he was the scribe of God. He knows almost every spell. Powerful ones… Ones you don’t need ingredients for… He probably used one to bring himself back or maybe to create a fake Metatron for you to kill. No matter what it was we can never be too careful.”
“Well then I guess the first step is to get out of here…” Dean sighed. “Any ideas?”
“Well yeah…” Charlie said standing up looking around. “I’m just in a locked cage… if I pick the lock then I can use that utility sink over there and that bucket it to put out the holy fire and Cas can break the ground releasing you from the devils traps…”
“That’s a well thought out and complicated plan and all but how are you going to pick your lock?” Crowley asked.
“You turned off the TV? Not Metatron right?” Charlie asked glancing at the TV.
“Yeah…” Crowley answered the word was long and drawn out.
“It’s outside of the circle… how did you turn it off?” Charlie explained trying to help him catch up.
“With the remote… he left it for me…” Crowley said picking the remote up out of the dark corner of the trap. “What? You’re going to pick your lock with a remote?”
“How do you plan on doing that?” Cas asked just as confused as Crowley.
“Guys I know that she knows what she doing…” Dean mentioned giving Charlie a hopeful look.
“I do know that I’m doing, thank you. Now toss me the remote,” Charlie said sticking her and out through the bars of the cage.
“Okay…” Crowley murmured tossing it into Charlie’s hands.
“Alrighty…” Charlie hummed pulling the back off the remote and pulling out the batteries. “Now I just need to get you out…” She pulled out the metal spiral that helped the battery conduct electricity, and unwound it. ”Like this,” She smiled holding up the small piece of metal. She walked over to the lock and in seconds had the lock picked.
“Wow you really are good…” Crowley said with an approving nod.
“I’m one bad bitch,” Charlie smirked opening the door and stepping out. She walked over to the utility sink and started to fill the bucket with water.
“So what’s the plan once we’re all out?” Crowley asked.
“I don’t know but let’s focus on getting out…” Dean replied.
Charlie shut off the water and carried the bucket over pouring it on the holy fire. “How many times am I gonna need to help you guys escape?” She laughed.
“Hopefully this is the last time…” Cas smiled cracking the floor.
“Finally I’ve been in that thing forever,” Crowley said eagerly jumping out.
“Now what we need to do I believe is get rid of that mark, for good. Metatron said we have to burn both the first blade and the mark of Cain,” Cas explained.
“He could have been lying...” Dean added.
“No, no he’s not lying. That was one way how to get rid of it… well the most efficient way… the other way was just to transfer it to someone else… doesn’t really get rid of it but,” Crowley rambled.
“Crowley shut up! So let’s go burn this mark off…” Charlie said excited.
“How are we going to get past Metatron?” Cas asked.
“We’re not…” Crowley smiled raising his eyebrows. “He keeps spray paint and holy oil in there…” He gestured at a huge metal cabinet. “We’re just going to have to trap him…”
“Not a bad plan… How did you know he keeps his stuff in there?” Dean asked opening up the cabinet and pulling out the bottle.
“Watched him make your traps,” Crowley shrugged.
Dean made a rather large circle of holy oil on the floor. “Now to get him down here…” Dean sighed holding up a match ready to light the ring.
“I got this…” Cas smirked. “Metatron can I read your story!?” Cas yelled up the stairs.
Metatron was there in an instant with a pile of papers stacked neatly in his hands. “You really want to re… Oh crap…” And the ring was lit trapping Metatron in his place.
“No one wants to read your crappy paperback…” Dean glared at him.
“How did you get out?” Metatron asked curios.
“That is none of your concern…” Crowley said suddenly scary. “No one pretends to be the king of hell. No one pretends to be me! Now to make sure you never enjoy anything ever again why don’t you try out a nice little room in hell…”
“He’s an angel Crowley if you send him there he could just as easily escape…” Cas explained.
“No he’s no angel…” Crowley smiled. “Charlie dear may I see your angel blade,” he held out his hand.
Charlie gave Dean a questioning look and Dean nodded. “Okay I guess…” she placed the blade in Crowley’s hands.
“Thank you dear…” Crowley smiled stepping over the flames.
“What are you going to do?” Metatron asked nervous. “You can’t kill me I can just come back like I did last time! Maybe I’m not even me…” He stepped back away from Crowley.
“Oh you’re him… I know it… you came… the actual you came because you wanted to see trench coat’s face when he read your story… also I’m not going to kill you,” Crowley made a small jar appear in his hands. “It’s so much worse than that… Now freeze.”
Metatron froze in his spot held by Crowley’s mind… “What are you going to do?” Metatron’s voice was high and scared. He breathed heavily as Crowley neared.
“Well first I’m going to do this…” Crowley sliced a thin cut in Metatron’s neck letting his grace slip into the bottle.
Metatron screamed dropping to the floor in pain. He was now human. One hundred percent human. With a human body, with a human soul.
“Crowley what are you doing?” Dean asked frantic but not completely against what was happening.
“I’m going to make him suffer worse than anyone has ever suffered before with no chance of escape… he’s going to hell Dean. He will be poked and prodded, ripped to shreds. But no one will offer him a chance to leave it all behind. To be the one that pokes and prods, and rips others to shreds. He won’t have a choice… this is your punishment, because you’re an even bigger cockroach then me… “ Crowley picked Metatron up and shoved the blade through his body. “I’ll see you in hell!”
Metatron’s soul was bright blue. Dean was able to see it because he had his black eyes on. The blue mass looked like it struggled to make its way up and out but a dark black mass rose out of the ground and seemed to consume the blue one dragging it into the ground with it. Dean swore he heard unholy screams.
“Well that’s one way to do it…” Dean shrugged.
“Yeah he won’t bother us anymore. He’s in my ‘intensive care unit’ you might say,” Crowley smiled blowing put the holy fire’s flames and heading up the steps.
Upstairs Dean was surprised at how close the kitchen was to the ‘dungeon’, that was really the basement. Sam was strapped to the same chair at the table, blade resting next to him, his head hanging tiredly.
“Sammy!” Dean called running over to the table picking up Sam’s head to look him in the eye.
Sam’s eye’s searched tiredly around and he suddenly tensed up. “Dean Crowley is right behind you!” He panicked.
“Yeah no it turns out Crowley wasn’t Crowley. Crowley was Metatron and Metatron locked Crowley in the basement,” Charlie said smiling proud she was keeping up.
“What?” Sam said confused obviously to drained to keep up with Charlie’s quick words.
“Crowley is good… well not good… he’s the king of hell, but like he’s not out to get us,” Dean replied untying Sam’s arms. “How do you feel?”
“I don’t know… I feel drained but when I was holding the blade I felt…” Sam shook his head thinking of a word.
“Empowered? Like you needed to kill?” Dean suggested the words.
“Yeah… but I fought the feeling,” Sam swallowed looking dizzy.
“He seems pretty out of it… Metatron must have been giving him unhealthy doses of the blade’s power, now might be the best time to cut the thing off…” Crowley said picking the blade off the table.
“Cut it off!?” Sam asked alarmed. “Oh man! That’s gonna hurt!” He lazily threw his head back. “I’m fine you don’t need to cut it off…” His words started to slur.
“Sorry Sammy but I’ll make it real quick and Cas will heal you real fast so you’re not in pain that long, okay?” Dean explained.
“It’ll be okay Sam,” Cas comforted walking over to Sam’s side ready to heal his arm.
Dean held out his hand for the first blade. “Crowley gimmie let me cut this thing off…”
Sam’s eyes widened and he called out words slurring dizzily from his mouth, “Don’t do it Crowley! It’s gonna hurt!”
“Yeah get it off loopy Moose is freaking me out…” Crowley said placing the blade in Dean’s hand.
“Alright… Ready?” Dean asked blade in position to slice the mark off.
“Noooo!” Sam yelled sounding nervous about the whole idea.
“Ready,” Cas nodded giving Dean the ‘go ahead.’
“Here we go!” Dean yelled slicing into Sam’s arm.
“I was right this hurts!” Sam yelled in pain as Dean cut his flesh.
The patch of skin with the mark on it flopped on the table in a big bloody pile and Cas quickly fixed Sam’s arm. “Alright Sam how ya feelin’?” Dean asked.
“Where are we? We were just in the bunker a second ago… Weren’t we?” Sam looked around. “Charlie? What are you doing here?” Sam stood up a bit unbalanced.
“I came to help!” Charlie smiled.
“Oh thank god!” Dean sighed of relief pulling Sam into a hug.
“Are you okay Dean? You seemed pretty pissed when you left us…” Sam said hugging back.
“I’m fine Sammy don’t worry about me I’m just glad you’re okay…” Dean murmured reluctantly pulling out of their hug.
“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” Sam asked worry hung in his tone.
“Metatron tried to change you into a demon with the mark of Cain but we stopped it…” Cas explained.
“Really?” Sam asked surprised turning to Cas. “Thank you!” He pulled Cas into a hug and Cas hugged back after a second remembering the last time and that he was supposed to.
“You’re welcome, I guess…” Cas said.
“And Charlie you helped?” Sam asked pulling away from Cas and pulling Charlie in. “I’ve missed you!” He swung her around. “You have to tell me all about Oz!”
“There is so much to tell!” Charlie laughed as Sam put her down.
“Eeeehhhmmm,” Crowley cleared his throat obnoxiously. “I helped too…” He pouted.
Sam gave him an uncomfortable look and sighed. “Yeah you did, didn’t you?” Sam walked over to the much shorter man and pulled him into a big bear hug. “Thank you!”
Crowley’s arms were around Sam in an instant and he rested his head on Sam’s chest smile stretched across his face. “I’ve waited so long for this!” He mumbled into Sam’s chest. “I’ve always wanted to be hugged by a moose!”
“Okay,” Sam laughed pulling out. “You good?!”
Crowley laughed smile lingering stupidly on his face. “Yeah…”
“Hey what about burning these things?” Dean asked pointing to the mound of skin on the table and holding up the first blade.
“Well we just can’t burn it regularly…” Crowley sighed making a plastic baggy appear and plopping the flesh in the bag. “You can carry this too…” He said making a disgusted face and handing the bag to Dean.
“What do you mean we can’t burn it normally?” Cas asked.
“We need to burn it in the rarest of oil… which is why I got me this,” Crowley held up Metatron’s grace. “We need to burn it in grace oil… which I don’t know how to make.”
“I do, but it will take a long while… at least a week…” Cas said eyeing the bottle.
“Is this even enough?” Crowley asked shaking the bottle lightly.
“Should be… Let’s get back to the bunker and I’ll see what I can do…” Cas suggested popping them all back to the library at the bunker. “Crowley will you help me collect some things we don’t have here…”
“Yeah sure…” Crowley shrugged.
“Sam, Charlie? Can you find some things we might have here…” Cas asked.
“Okay sure, yeah,” Sam said nodding.
“I’m up for it,” Charlie smiled excitedly.
“Here’s a list…” Cas handled them each a little piece of paper.
“What do you want me to do?” Dean asked feeling left out.
“I want you to help me in the lab…” Cas said with a smile.
“So I’m your lab assistant?” Dean asked stepping closer to Cas.
“Yes I suppose…” Cas answered.
“Kinky… I like that,” Dean said with a wink.