Chapter 6: Something New
“Okie dokie Metatwat…” Crowley turned smiling at they tied up Metatron. “Now you’re gonna tell me where you put Cassie’s grace.”
“Why would I tell you…” Metatron glanced ignorantly up and down Crowley.
“Because if you don’t tell me willingly, you’ll tell me with a siring angle blade up your ass,” Crowley smiled leaning closely to Metatron’s face.
“You’re not in my story. My story involves Castiel, Dean, Sam, and me. At no point are you involved. So why are you doing the torturing? Shouldn’t that be Dean fighting for Cas’ grace,” Metatron motioned his head toward Dean who was sitting outside of the cell with Cas.
“Dean’s a tad unstable. He would kill you before we got the proper information you see,” Crowley stroked the angel blade along Metatron’s jaw line.
Metatron flinched away. “So it’s easier if you just kill me then because I’m telling you jack squat.”
“Oh I can make you talk…” Crowley said shoving the angel blade in Metatron’s arm. A loud unholy screech escaped Metatron’s lips. “Oh, now… not as strong as we thought huh?”
“You can poke and prod as much as you want…” Metatron breathed loudly through his teeth. “I wont say a word.”
“You’ve already said a few actually…” Crowley sighed. “But sadly they had nothing to do with Cas’ grace. So I figure if I poke just the right spot… just the right words will come out. Let’s try this again.” Crowley winked at Metatron taking the blade out of his arm and stabbing it right into his stomach letting the blade twist and drag about inside.
“Why are you doing this?” Metatron screamed, his words barely understandable.
Crowley pulled the blade out and looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”
“I mean why are you helping the Winchesters. I mean you’re the king of hell…” Metatron heaved a heavy breath. “They should be helping you… doing what you want.” He raised an eye brow smirking painfully.
“What I want is for the Winchesters to win,” Crowley responded.
“And then what. You think they’ll actually keep you around much longer after I’m gone? Look I hate to be the one who tells you this but no matter what you do for them… no matter what you’ve done for them… they’ll kill you the second you’re not useful. Throw you aside and let you rot. They don’t care about you. But I can see you care about them. Which is why I know how we can all live!” Metatron smiled at Crowley convincingly.
“What are you talking about?” Crowley spouted angrily shoving the blade in Metatron’s leg. “My boys love me! They’ll never abandon me! That may have been the case a while back but Dean is on my side.”
“Is he?” Metatron questioned with a pained sigh. “You know what I think? I think he’s using you to train him to his full ability, until he’s stronger then you! Then he’ll kill you and take your place as king of hell.”
Crowley just stared blankly at Metatron considering what he said and swallowed holding down his anger at the idea. “It’s a shame no one values your opinion.” He smiled cutting deep into Metatron’s upper thigh… “Now truly I’m done playing let’s hear about that grace.”
Metatron’s screams echoed off the blank white cell walls. Dean tried to block out the sound leaning back against the wall. He heard Cas shuffled about next to him and sighed.
“Cas, buddy,” Dean said turning to him.
Cas looked at Dean uncomfortably because he knew the following conversation wouldn’t be pleasant. He smiled anyways and looked Dean in the eyes. “Yes Dean.”
“Why?” Dean paused he obviously had so much more to say but nothing else came out.
“Dean look, I’m sorry you have to hear it like this but what it boils down to is I’ve been lost from the second I raised you from perdition. Everything I’ve done from the second we met was for you. Everything,” Cas sighed scratching absently at the back of his neck. Dean had heard all of this before from multiple angels, but coming from Cas’ lips meant it was all true. “Dean when I heard you were… dead. Everything I had ever done that meant anything at all, died too. Because everything I had cared about was gone. Dean you were all I needed to keep going. All I wanted to need. All I needed to want, and at first I’ll admit it confused me. I had no clue why I felt these things and I tried to hide from it all. And then I realized all at once what had happened… I… I…” Cas sighed and looked down at his hands twisting at his thumb.
“You what Cas?” Dean leaned forward pulling Cas’ face back up.
Cas hesitantly looked back at Dean and sighed. “Learning you were dead crush my faith in everything. So I figured why bother living? And the plan was simple after that. I’d kill Metatron. But every time I tried he tempted me with my grace and living was not on my list of things to do, but he just talked my ear off until somebody came by and it was too late. I was just stupid enough to keep listening. He talked about how much you cared about me and I couldn’t not listen. So I just gave up on that idea and decided I’d go comfort Sam. When I found him he was a drunken mess. I got him sober, enough… and that’s pretty much it. That’s why I said no to my grace. Dean I thought I’d never want it.”
“Cas that’s um…” Dean was at a loss of words.
“Look I just don’t want you to be upset,” Cas said looking over into the cell watching Crowley cut away at Metatron. The screams were unnerving.
“Cas please look at me,” Dean said after a minute. Cas turned his head and looked at Dean. His eyes were the soft green he’d always loved. They were kind and not mad. “Cas listen to me. I’m not upset because truth be told if I lost you I’d do the same thing. I’d feel the same way. Now more than ever which is why I never want you to leave my side again do you understand me?”
Cas just looked at Dean trying to decided if this change in Dean’s feelings were good. “Dean how long have you felt this way?”
“Cas look I’ve always sorta felt… ya know,” Dean sighed and looked round a bit. “It hasn’t been a weak feeling either. I’ve always felt,” He looked back at Cas and paused for a second. Cas was so beautiful to him, everything he was, was everything Dean wanted. Thinking about these things made Deans thoughts go wonky. “Look the fact of the matter is now that I’m well… this… my feelings for you haven’t changed but I’m able to express them more clearly.”
Cas just sat back leaning his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and there was silence between them for a minute. Well silent except for the sound of Metatron and Crowley yelling at each other. Dean leaned his head against the wall too but listened to the bicker. Cas didn’t bother to listen he tuned them out. He decided Dean’s new passion was going to have its ups and downs. They would just have to work through it. Cas reached his hand out next to him to grab Dean’s hand but felt thin air. Cas opened his eyes to see Dean was no longer next to him. He looked up to see Dean had popped inside of the cell and was arguing with Crowley. Cas got up and stood at the bars watching.
“Do you honestly think I’d do something like that!?” Dean yelled in Crowley’s face scolding him.
“I don’t know Squirrel but it’s definitely something to think about!” Crowley threw up his hands innocently.
“Crowley you need to realize I’d rather chew on razor blades then rule over Hell. I’ve got enough on my plate without you buying into every word this asshat throws at ya!” Dean yelled turning to Metatron. “I’m done playing. Where is Cas’ grace?”
“You don’t scare me Dean,” Metatron said the lie lingering on his face.
“That’s real funny because I’m getting a completely different vibe from you,” Dean leaned down close to his face, eyes black mark starting to burn.
Metatron started to scream. Pain shot across his face and his body started to jostle about.
“How are you doing that?!” Crowley yelled panicked. “Dean stop! Dean!” Crowley pulled at Dean’s shoulder. He held Dean in place away from Metatron but from the intensity of his screams the pain only seemed to get worse.
“Where the hell is Cas’ grace!?” Dean yelled trying to pull out of Crowley’s hold.
“In a bottle!” Metatron screamed. Dean stopped hurting him and smiled. Metatron panted. “In a bottle floating around in the Atlantic somewhere okay?” Metatron explained trying to catch his breath.
“Where exactly?” Dean growled braking free of Crowley’s grip.
“I-I-I don’t know! Some where! I let the bottle out at one of the Maryland beaches!” Metatron spat out as fast as he could to avoid whatever the hell Dean had done to him that was so painful.
“Great!” Dean said turning towards Crowley. “Gimmie my blade!” he demanded holding his hand out.
“No,” Crowley growled backing up.
“Come one let me kill this mother!” Dean yelled through his teeth.
“No Dean,” Crowley said trying to calm Dean down.
“Fine no first blade that’s cool… I don’t care what I kill him with as long as this bastard is dead,” Dean turned to Crowley’s cart of instruments and grabbed an angel blade. He smiled and started to jab it through the air at Metatron.
“Dean no!” suddenly Cas was in front of him screaming because the blade had sliced right through his arm.
Dean growled low and then his voice softened at Cas’ scream. His eyes quick flickered back to green and the mark calmed down. Cas panted from pain in front of him because the blade was still in his arm. Dean looked at the blade in Cas’ arm horrified at himself. Then he looked Cas in the eyes and his stomached dropped when he saw a pained horrified expression staring right at him.
“Cas I-“ Dean’s voice cracked and eyes widened.
Cas grabbed Dean’s hand that was wrapped around the angel blade and pulled the blade out of his arm cringing and making a pained moaning sound. Cas looked Dean in the eyes and was suddenly gone.