I think I lost you

Awkward moments and invisible walls

It was around Christmas time at Hogwarts and Percy and Oliver were walking together down the hall. They were coming from their transfigurations class, on their way to the common rooms while energetically talking about the strange occurrences with the muggleborns that had been attacked that year.

"It's one of those slytherins, it must be! They're always up to no good!" Oliver was flailing his arms around as he spoke.

"Don't be naive Oliver, a student couldn't possible do that" Percy pushed his glasses further up his nose. Oliver watched him do this, breathless. Ogling his thin, pale fingers as they fell to his side, grasping at his bag. He broke out of his daze when Percy repeated his name impatiently.

"Wha-?" he said, a blush creeping up his chin.

"Honestly Oliver… " Percy shook his head and continued "I asked you: Do you know anyone of that house that possesses that sort of skill? Who would that be, Marcus Flint?" Percy gave him half a smile and a crooked eyebrow.

Oliver laughed and laid an arm lazily over Percy's shoulder.

"You're absolutely right, that was dumb of me… I suppose yer brothers got the best of me whit all their silly theories" there was a pause "Wait. Was that a joke just now?"

Oliver gave Percy a look of amused shock. Percy just pushed Oliver's hand of him in a friendly gesture and shook his head, still smiling though.

They turned a corner and Oliver just had to ask.

"So~" He gave a smug look when he got Percy's attention and crept closer "What do you think of the rumours about Harry then?"

Oliver didn't believe them himself but he enjoyed seeing Percy react to his so called stupid questions. Right now he'd do anything to get a reaction from the redhead.

"Oh, come on Oliver! Not even you're that dumb. The boy's twelve for Merlins sake!" they rounded another corner.

"No, this is the work of really dark, advanced wizards who-"

And suddenly they couldn't move. It was like someone had put an invisible box over them and they could only move about two steps in every direction.

"What is this?" Oliver asked trying to slam against the air as if there were some kind of wall there.

"Probably some trick from a student who has no regard for the rules, I'll get us out of here" Percy pulled his wand out and flicked it a few times, nothing happened, He tried some more with no result.

"That's strange… I thought for sure this was…"

As Percy stood there thinking Oliver found out that he could lean against the air as if it was, in fact, a wall. He found this very amusing.

"'ey look! I'm a mime" he said and started moving his hands up and down in front of him.

"Oh, stop it! We need to get out of here, we have homework to do" Percy put his arms over his chest and started turning aimlessly in every direction.

Oliver who had proceeded to lean against air started looking around and noticed as he was searching the roof that something was hanging over their heads.

"Oh merlin…" he sighted and pulled carefully at Percy's sleeve. Percy who by now sported a half panicked, very stressful expression looked at him quizzically, probably wondering why he would disturb his thinking.

Oliver just pointed to the sky. Percy followed his finger and shaped a big 'O' with his mouth. Over their heads hung a tiny piece of mistletoe, probably enchanted by the looks of their situation.

"Oh, well that changes everything" Percy aimed his wand again.

"You mean you can fix that!" Oliver sighted with relief, for a minute there he actually thought they had to kiss. Not that he didn't want to, he really did. But that was exactly the problem.

"Of course, I've just been going at it the wrong way" Percy tried something new but nothing happened. "You didn't think we would actually have to kiss right? Like I'd ever do that"

Yeah, that definitely hurt a bit Oliver thought, definitely.

The spells kept on coming, Percy knew quite a lot of them. No surprise there.

Still his attempts were fruitless.

"God damn it, I'm a prefect and one of the best students in my year! I'll be damned if I can't do this!" Percy had a crazy, desperate look in his eyes, his glasses threatened to fall of his nose and his curly hair was falling in his eyes as sweat stuck it to his forehead.

Oliver had had enough; as he started to yawn he patted Percy assuredly on the back.

"I don't doubt that you can do a lot of things but this mistletoe has got you beat, it's probably made so that one can't hex it" Oliver's hands were now shaking a bit as he almost stuttered out the next part "let's just get it over with quickly"

He couldn't even look at Percy at the moment but he could hear that he was shocked from his uneven breathing. Maybe he was a bit panicked still, or even more panicked now.

"What? We can't do that, I have a girlfriend, we're both boys, I have a girlfriend…"

Oliver looked at his friend again with determination in his eyes as he grabbed on to Percy's shoulders.

"Listen! Do you want to get out of here Percy?" Percy just nodded "Then let's just do this… it'll be quick, think nothin' of it"

Percy swallowed and nodded again.

Oliver swallowed too as he slowly leaned forward. His hands were shaking. Was he really going to do this? When he was close enough to feel the others breathe on his face he hesitated. He was about to pull back when Percy took the leap and crashed their lips together.

It only lasted a few seconds; it was far from perfect as their lips roughly found each other’s. Still Oliver's insides were aflame and he hardly managed to suppress a groan. He couldn't help it as he slowly bit the lower lip of Percy. Percy let out a weak moan and roughly pushed Oliver of him. There had hardly been any body contact but Oliver could still feel Percy all over him. He remembered the feeling of Percy's slightly cracked lips, they were perfect.

Percy held a hand over his mouth in shock.

"You bit me" he stated with a mixed expression of shock and annoyance.

"Sorry about that" Oliver blushed and gave a cheeky grin.

Percy scowled and took a firmer grip on his bag "Let's just get back to the common room, did it work?"

It worked, Oliver almost felt a bit sad about that. Not that anything would have happened if they had been stuck still.

"We'll never talk about this again" Percy said firmly and they started walking again, this time constantly looking out for mistletoes on the way.

After a few minutes of silence Oliver couldn't help himself.

"So… should I do the right thing and marry you now?" he gave another cheeky grin and Percy glared daggers at him "I think I should meet yer parents at least"

Percy smacked him in the back of his head and stormed of ahead, muttering something that sounded like a repeat of never talking about this again.

"Oi! come on! I was joking, Joking! Percy!" and he stormed right after.

Little did they know, someone had been watching. She thoughtfully tapped her thin finger against her cheek as she hummed to herself. Sighting she took a painful grip on her books and started off towards the library, she knew what had to be done.

It was evening one week later and Percy sat at his desk going through his papers.

It wasn't awkward between him and Oliver at all. That… kiss... That was just something they had to do. It didn't mean a thing so there was no reason for things to be awkward.

He had just finished writing some notes from one of his many books when the door flew open and a newly showered Oliver stepped in wearing only a towel.

That was a common occurrence, it wasn't awkward.

Percy found himself staring at Oliver's chest but couldn't manage to look away. It was well built from quidditch, water still dripping from it down to his waist. His hair was damp, sticking to his neck and his face. Why was Percy staring?

Was it because he remembered how it felt to have that chest pressed up against him while they kissed? He shook his head, that had meant nothing!

Oliver noticed him and grinned.

"Like what you see thar Perce~" he joked, winked and dropped the towel to the floor as he started to look for some clothes to wear. Percy blushed as he found himself face to well-shaped butt.

"God Oliver! Keep your towel in place until you have something to put on" he looked away, still blushing. What was wrong with him?

Oliver had always done this; ever since first grade he had never been ashamed to show himself naked in front of Percy. He hardly felt ashamed showing himself naked in front of anyone really.

Percy was used to this and he had never felt the need to stare before. He knew every piece of skin on Oliver's body by heart because he had grown up with this. He didn't need to stare, if he wanted to he could just imagine how Oliver looked like in his head and- No, he was not going to imagine anything.

He cleared his throat and started packing some books and quills in his bag.

"You know… I wonder something" Oliver leaned over the chair Percy was seated in and took a hold of a photo album consisting of photos of Percy's family. He started turning page after page with a look of wonder.

"How come you have such curly hair?"

Percy let an eyebrow rise as he looked up to the somewhat shorter boy.

"I mean, some of your brothers have wavy hair like your mother but yours, it's just curly" Oliver pulled on a curl and Percy flinched a bit.

"I get it from my grandfather, why is that so important?" Percy finished packing the things he needed and stood up.

"I was just curious, it's nice… makes you unique" Percy's heart skipped a beat and his features softened for a second. That is, until Oliver continued.

"And you're brothers are so cool, like Charlie and Bill" he smiled and finished by patting Percy on the back as he said: "You're just so geeky, how did that happen!?"

He laughed as he went over to his bed throwing the photo album on Percy's bed.

"All siblings aren't alike you know" Percy frowned disapprovingly; he was a bit offended even though he couldn't exactly argue that he wasn't geeky. He knew he was, but Oliver was his friend and if it was some kind of joke it was in very poor taste. "Are you saying you and your sister must be alike then? It's the same thing!"

Oliver paused in his laughter, clearly thinking about something.

"yeah well… your sister is cooler than you too"

Percy clenched his jaw and Oliver hastily continued "don't take it so seriously I was just thinking… you're unlike the other Weasleys, it's not a bad thing"

Percy sighted and took a firm grip on his bag.

"Very well, I'm going to the library and I advise you to do the transfigurations homework before the holidays or you'll forget it. Since you'll probably turn your brain-cells into food when you're away"

"Wait, what transfiguration homework?"

"The one we got on that same day we- that day, before…Oh, just look at my notes then!" He stepped out the door and continued down the stairs. Things were pretty much exactly as they always were between Percy and Oliver, it wasn't awkward.

Things were so awkward! It couldn't be more awkward. Oliver couldn't even look at Percy without his body catching fire.

By this time Oliver had to admit to himself that he probably had a crush on his best friend. He had probably had it for years. And now that he was aware of it Percy invaded his dreams, his thoughts and his bed! No wait, that was his dreams.

Oliver was very good at pretending everything was alright, so good he almost started thinking about becoming an actor instead of quidditchplayer.

But he felt so awkward every time Percy was near him. He sometimes lay in bed watching Percy sleep, wanting so badly to just pull his hand through his hair and kiss those lips again. He would get so embarrassed he'd turn over in his bed and slam his head to the post. Percy surprisingly enough never woke up.

As he was sure that Percy had disappeared from the dorm he leaned over to Percy's trunk and took one of the neatly folded shirts and pressed it to his face as he lay back on the bed. He took a deep breathe, Percy's sent flooded his senses and he was almost swooning.

He sniffed it some more and sighted in content. Yes, he was a creep, he couldn't help it. The scent was mild, some sort of mixture of old books and something minty. And there was something Oliver could only imagine was the burrows scent.

As he took in all of Percy's scents he started thinking of things, impure things. And he was starting to sport a tent in his trousers so to say. He sighted and slowly and a bit shakily started to unbutton his pants. He had pleasured himself several times at the thought of Percy lately and he was slightly ashamed of it. That guilt and shame never stopped him from still doing it though, and this time was no exception.

When he was done he cast a cleaning spell and carefully folded the shirt again.

He sat up and hid his head in his hands. He was still only half-clad after his shower. Sitting shirtless with his pants still unbuttoned.

He blushed as he thought of what he had just done. What if Percy found out? What would he think of him?

He was just so awkward.

Percy sat down at the table opposite of Penelope. He leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips and opened his book. It was a few weeks after their return from the holiday break. Percy had spent it at Hogwarts this year but Penelope had gone home. So had Oliver but that wasn't relevant.

"How was your holiday Percy dear?" she smiled at him but he noticed a glimmer in her eyes that said that she had something important to say.

"It was just fine Penny, how was yours?"

"Oh, it was marvellous! But I missed you, I haven't seen you for so long" she took his hand and squeezed it calmly. He smiled and took her hand in his. He was truly lucky to have someone like her.

This was why he felt so extremely guilty.

Sure he hadn't really cheated on her, that one kiss was something he had to do. But it still felt like he had done her wrong. Here he sat with such a cute and clever girl that was his girlfriend. And all he could think about was tanned skin and greenish brown, glimmering eyes, wind-blown sandy-brown hair and that charming smile that was so typically Oliver.

Damn that Oliver Wood! And what was wrong with Percival Ignatius Weasley?

They sat in silence for a while, studying separately until Penelope suddenly cleared her throat. She had a somewhat sad look on her face.

"Percy I'm sorry… I've been thinking about how to say this all week but I think we should break up"

Percy almost choked on air after this. He just stared at her.

"I mean… We don't really love each other, you're nice Percy but our relationship is only built on us being a good pair" she took a deep breath and flicked her hair of her shoulder "We're equals and therefore we thought we would be a good set-up, but we sort of lack passion..."

Percy knew this; they had started dating because they liked each other well enough. Because people thought they would look good together, their looks and talents combined would make the perfect couple.

But hearing her speak of it was shocking. They both knew it was so but it was just something they never spoke of. It was taboo to speak of it.

"But why now all of a sudden?" Percy was still looking at her with big questioning eyes.

"I've been suspecting… well I've noticed some things during the years we've been together and I think I know for sure now…" she paused, unsure as if she should continue. What could it be that was so hard for her to say? Penelope was a very direct person.

"I think you like someone else Percy" she smiled at him and squeezed his hand again, harder this time.

"What?" he was puzzled. What was she on about?

"I saw you" she gave him a knowing look and suddenly it hit him. She had seen them.

"No, it was the mistletoe!" he ripped his hand from hers and held it tightly to his own chest "I wasn't cheating on you I swear, I would never do that to you"

Percy's voice was breaking with panic.

"No, I know you didn't cheat on me" she laughed now, smiling ever so sweetly. Suddenly it felt sickening. He wasn't worthy of such sweet smiles.

"But you know I'm right" she continued "Think about it, the first thing you started defending was how you hadn't cheated on me. You never even thought about denying my statement"

Suddenly it dawned on him, he hadn't argued with her. Why wasn't 'there's nothing between me and Oliver' the first thing he'd said?

He was pale. All his thoughts from the previous weeks were rolling around in his head making him feel small and pathetic.

Everything is fine

Nothing was alright, why didn't he realize sooner? When had he become so naive?

Everything is normal, like it's always been

Everything had changed, he didn't recognize himself anymore.

Things are not awkward

Things were going to be so awkward

I'm not attracted to Oliver Wood

Percy was however definitely not attracted to Oliver Wood. He couldn't be.

"You alright Percy? you're very pale dear" Penelope was now leaning over the table and patted his shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I'm fine" he choked out and rubbed his temples "Of course we'll break up, I want you to be able to date someone who can love you, you deserve that. You deserve to be happy."

"We're still friends though, right?" she seemed a bit worried now.

"Of course" he stood up from his seat and pulled his things together. "But you're wrong about me and Oliver"

He started to walk away when she shouted after him.

"He's a good guy Percy, and you both deserve to be happy too"

He shook his head; he and Oliver were definitely just friends.

It was late when Percy arrived at the dorm but Oliver was still up, reading some sportmagazine. Percy felt a little bit uneasy at this; he would have liked to just get to bed without facing Oliver.

"Heya Perce" Oliver nodded as he greeted Percy but didn't look up from his magazine "how'd it go? Did something interesting happen?"

Oliver didn't like Penelope for some reason, Percy had figured out as much. He would probably like to hear that they were officially not dating anymore. Still something kept Percy from speaking.

If Percy were to tell Oliver that he was single and completely available what would happen? Percy didn't want to find out. So he kept quiet.

"Nothing out of the ordinary" was all he said as he quietly changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed.

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