I think I lost you

Confrontation and Conclusions

Some Scottish words that might need explanation.

I had to look these up so all of them might not be completely right but they should be because I've double checked!

chanty wrassler= In a nicer term, someone who is dishonest...

clout= to hit/punch

Glaikit= stupid

Bonnie= Beautiful



There was something going on between Percy and Penelope, Oliver knew this.

Mainly because they went on fewer and fewer "dates" as they would call it and suddenly they just stopped.

On these occasions they usually just met somewhere and read or helped each other with homework while having pleasant chats and perhaps give a little kiss. This was considered dates for them but for most sane people like Oliver, who didn’t spend their entire life in the library, it wasn’t. However it didn’t matter what they defined as dates or not because for some reason they weren't going anymore.

He didn't want to ask though; he didn't care about Percy and Penelope.

Well he obviously cared about Percy, just not when it had something to do with Penelope.

But curiosity got the best of him one day as they were sitting in the common room, Oliver cleaning his Quidditch equipment and Percy actually not studying for once but looking absentmindedly out the window.

"So…" he began "Why aren't you hanging out with Penny today?"

"What? Ehrm, friends, she was going somewhere with friends" the answer was too quick to come from Percy who then proceeded to stare even more intensely out the huge window.

"You don't see her very often…" Oliver looked down on his gloves that he was currently scrubbing away dirt from and glanced up at Percy to see his reaction.

"It's because of the n.e.w.t.s, we meet when there is time" Percy didn't even look at Oliver while he answered; he apparently found something out on the grounds much more interesting.

Oliver didn't fret on Percy's strange behaviour, he thought that it sounded reasonable for Percy and Penelope and sighted. He had hoped that maybe they had a little fight or something but those two were probably going to end up married anyway so it seemed hopeless.

The next day however, Oliver stumbled upon something awful.

In a corner of a hallway he saw Jack with a curvy girl around his neck, having her pressed to a wall and snogging the life out of her. This was not an unusual occurrence since he was a good looking, nice guy who was quite popular among the ladies. But it was who the girl was that surprised him.

"What in the- I cannae believe this!"

The two in front of him hastily let go of each other and turned at him with confused looks on their faces. Theirs were met with a look of rage and disgust from the Gryffindor. His nose was scrunched up in disapproval. He did not like Penny but never had he thought she would do this to Percy.

"Hey look mate, I know you don't care much for Pen bu-"

But Oliver did not pay attention to Jack; his focus was entirely directed at Penelope.

"Ye chanty wrassler! I knew it! Ye hoore!" He took a firm grip of Penelope, anger flaring in his eyes.

"Oliver it's not-" something seemed to spark in her eyes as if she suddenly understood something "Oh merlin, he didn't tell you"

Her voice was weak and did not reach him, he had now let go of Penelope and was instead gesturing wildly with his arms as he shouted obscenities.

"what a sodden, rotten thing to do, how could you! And to him!"

"Oliver. Oliver! We broke up!" her scream suddenly silenced him and he stood there, arms limp, staring at her as if she was barking mad.

"W-wha?" he stumbled a step backwards she tried to go after him but suddenly changed her mind.

"We split up, I thought he'd tell you" she rubbed her arm where he had hold her and he immediately felt regret over his actions. But he still could not believe it.

"How could you miss it Oliver, sure they didn't shout it out loud but they didn't keep it secret. How could you not know?" Jack had his arms protectively around Penelope's waist and looked at him with deep concern.

Something new suddenly lit up in Oliver's eyes and he clenched his jaws.

"Because he did keep it a secret, from me…" he quickly grabbed his bag which he had disposed of in his angry attack on Penelope and rushed in the direction he had come from, the Gryffindor commonroom.

He ran as fast as he could, completely ignoring the shouts that came after him.


Percy had ignored Oliver for weeks now, or more like tried not to be too close to him and only answering questions that were necessary. He had just finished some light reading as the door to their dorm suddenly burst open and in came a fuming Oliver Wood.

"I sheu'd clout ye!" Oliver was angry with him; he had never seen him this angry since… well, never actually.

Percy instinctively moved away from him, further into the room. Oliver roared out words and sentences in thick Scottish accent that Percy could not understand but could only guess were swears and very bad names directed at him.

"Oliver calm yourself, I can not understand a word you're saying" Percy tried to remain calm but his hand were shaking as he pushed his glasses further up his nose, even though they already sat as high up as they possibly could. His voice was trembling and it did not get any better when the broad shouldered Scotsman stood right in front of him, holding a firm grip on his wrists and pressing him to the bedfoot of one of the beds.

"Why did'n ye tell me! Why?" and it was now that Percy also saw sadness in those green-brown eyes. There mixed with all the rage was something akin to betrayal and hurt.

As a consequence to Oliver shaking Percy between every syllable they fell onto the bed.

"T-tell you what?" the tall boy stuttered out as he lay sprawled on the bed, his glasses sat askew on his nose. However, now that he actually needed to rearrange them he was unable to as his hands were still locked at his sides by Oliver's firm grip.

"That you broke up with Penelope" the rage had fumed out a little and left in its place was a look that reminded Percy of a kicked puppy. Did it mean so much to him that Percy had kept this from him? Percy's heart ached at the sight of his friend in this condition.

"How long has it been?"

Percy tried to get up but was slammed into the mattress once more.

"How long, tell me! HOW LONG!" Oliver screamed at him, his face twisted in rage and agony like a mad mans.

"Soon after Christmas last year" Percy gasped out and he stared wide-eyed at the man before him. Only when the words escaped his mouth did he realize that he had kept this from Oliver for almost a year.

"Why?" there was nothing more than hurt left in Oliver's eyes by now.

"I was scared" Percy whimpered and swallowed hard as he felt Oliver's heavy breathing on his face. He could feel every heaving breath from Oliver's chest on his own because of the closeness. He was so startled by Oliver's confrontation that he didn't even think about lying, the small distance between them made it hard to think at all.

"Scared? Of what?" Oliver leaned in, his eyes searching Percy's face only stopping when he met the others gaze.

"Of this" Percy swallowed again and tried to look away, his face was red and his breath uneven. He could smell Oliver very clearly, he smelled fresh and of spicy cologne that hinted of lemons. "Of us I suppose"

Oliver loosened his grip on Percy's wrists and pulled back just a little.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

Percy shook his head wildly, desperately looking to the right as to avoid eye-contact. The moment of honesty was over.

"I didn't avoid you, I had studies" Percy got out trying to get back his voice of authority, firm and determined but it still sounded a bit weak in his ears.

"Liar" Oliver leaned closer again but he let go of the grip he had on Percy to put his hands at each side of Percy's head. "It's the end of autumn break and knowing you, you probably finished them days ago"

And with that he closed the gap between them, hungrily pressing their lips together. Percy hesitated before answering the kiss, cautiously at first but slowly giving in to the passion that he received from Oliver. It was nothing like their first kiss, there were no restraints and they just let it happen.

Oliver slid his tongue over Percy's lower lip begging for entrance that Percy almost instinctively granted him. Oliver's hands were all over Percy, gliding up his chest under his robes and shirt. Percy would have wondered how they got there if he had not been distracted by the feeling of lips nibbling at his neck as Oliver had left the mouth free for a moan to escape them. Percy took a firm grip of Oliver's shirt and arched his neck as Oliver began to suck and bite on him.

Lust was driving him mad when suddenly his senses started telling him to stop, to be reasonable. He quickly stifled another moan and pushed Oliver of him. It took everything he had to do so but at last he was free of the other. Rushing up from the bed and pulling at his robes.

He had started pressing down his disheveled hair when he looked down at Oliver who only sat there grinning at him, legs wide open showing a quite clear bulge in his trousers, his shirt was unbuttoned and his hair stood in every direction.

"You like me" Oliver said confidently and stood up next to him.

"As a friend." Percy added very determined but mostly to convince himself that it was so.

"Oh please Percy, what's yer problem? Is it because I'm a boy?"

"Well, that is one very good reason"

"It's a darn glaikit reason Perce"

They just stood there for a while staring at each other until Percy decided to leave.

"I need to think" was all the explanation he gave as he closed the door after him.

Oliver decided to leave it at that. What with all that happened around the school and a killer on the lose Percy probably had a lot of duties as a prefect so Oliver just let him be, for now.


It was only one week later that Oliver walked in on Percy standing in one of the huge windows of their dorm, looking out at the landscape again like he had done so many times before that year. Oliver didn't go up to him but leaned on one of the bedposts as he asked what he was up to.

"I don't know it just seems so frightening" was Percy's answer.

Oliver raised an eyebrow but just waited for him to continue rather than asking.

"I mean… there's a killer out there. He's so close" Percy put his arms around himself as if he was cold though he couldn't be. The dorms were heated and one was never cold here. He was scared, he felt that he as a prefect had a duty to protect the others but he didn't have the power to do that.

Oliver sneaked up and put his arms lazily around the slightly taller teen, placing a small kiss at the side of his neck. Percy just closed his eyes welcoming the comfort.

They didn't exchange any words but still Percy felt calmer and safer than he had done in weeks. Completely forgetting his resistance the last few days he let Oliver's hands glide up his torso, caressing his white skin that looked even paler than usual in the moonlight.

Oliver's hands started working on the buttons of Percy's shirt, very slowly as if it was very delicate. Percy leaned into the strong body behind him; he could feel every part of Oliver pressed to his backside as the others lips still pressed gentle kisses to his neck.

When the buttons were undone he did not mind at all when Oliver let it slide down his arms. It stopped by his wrists where the shirt was still buttoned. It hung there helplessly as Oliver slid around Percy.

He now stood in front of him, he slid his own woolen shirt over his head showing that tanned stomach that he always seemed to bare in Percy's presence as soon as he had an opportunity. They kissed, Oliver holding a firm grip on Percy's head, gliding hands through his hair.

Percy tried to unbutton his own sleeves behind his back which proved very difficult. He could not free his hands at the same time as kissing Oliver. So he pushed Oliver away from himself, who in turn looked disappointed until he saw the frantic motions with which Percy tried to remove his own shirt completely. As he had finally freed himself he threw the shirt away not bothering to fold it or anything as he threw himself back at the Quidditchplayer.

Oliver started working at the redhead's trousers as he clumsily led him back to one of the beds. He lay him down gently; Percy didn't even recognize this tenderness. Sure Oliver was gentle but this was ridiculous. It was as if he feared that if he was too rough it would all end and Percy would storm of again.

Percy understood this and started pulling at Oliver's trousers too as if to reassure him it was okay. Oliver took this as his cue and pulled Percy free of the rest of his clothes and then removed his own. He kissed Percy again, pressing their bodies together. As Percy felt the friction he lost himself in the moment and no amount of rational thoughts in the world could have stopped him then.


The next morning Oliver woke up in a very good mood. It was Saturday, the sun was shining in on him and colourful leaves floated around in the wind outside. And oh yeah, he had gotten Percy Ignatius Weasley into bed with him.

Speaking of which, he looked up at the figure sitting up in the bed next to him.

Percy was seated in the bed, legs bent up and covered with the blanket up to his waist. He had his arms over his knees, but his right hand was raised and covered his mouth. He stared out the distance with a thoughtful expression.

"Morning Bonnie" Oliver said cheerfully, slowly rubbing Percy's stomach. Percy quickly stood up in all his glory not even bothering that he was naked.

"Shut up Oliver, now is not the time" he buried his hands in his hair and Oliver couldn't help but think it looked gorgeous.

Percy paced around a bit before sitting down again, murmuring: this can not happen under his breath

Oliver sat up next to him putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Oh, come on it wasn't that bad" he tried giving his cheek a little kiss and then pulling him down in the bed.

They fell backwards into the mattress, Oliver still holding onto Percy so that he landed with his back to Oliver's stomach.

"No… no it wasn't" Percy sounded absolutely terrified at that statement but he still turned around facing Oliver, kissing him hesitantly on the mouth.

"Fancy some morning Wood then?" With this Oliver earned a pillow to the head, quite forcefully. Oliver only laughed at it while Percy seemed to mutter something under his breath turning his back at the other once again.

"But I'm not the only one you've done this with right?"

The question took Oliver by surprise but he didn't hesitate to answer it.

"No, there's been a few… you didn't think I'd be a virgin right?"

"I meant boys"

"Only boys actually" there was a pause.

Oliver continued

"Flint for one…" Percy made a gagging sound at that.

"Flint? Marcus Flint?"

"He's a good looking man under all those robes you know, if you behead him or something…" Oliver laughed and sniffed at Percy's hair. He wasn't proud of it; he mostly just brought it up to mess with Percy. There was no way to compare Marcus with Percy.

With Flint there had been no emotions except for raw lust. This was different.

With Flint he hadn't stayed even a minute after they were done, he was out of that locker room faster than one could say Bludger. With Percy he was fine with staying like this forever.

There was another pause until Oliver spoke again.

"You know I really like you right…" there was yet another pause, Percy only shifted a little but didn't speak. Oliver wrapped his arms around the other and took in his scent.

"I want to be with you forever, I want to spend all my life counting yer freckles Perce, and when I die an old man I will have kissed them all a million times" he kissed feathery kisses on Percy's back waiting for a response.

Finally he got one after some seconds of silence.

"Stop being so sappy Oliver" but there was a smile in that comment, Oliver could hear it even though he could not see it. He smiled into the freckled back, kissing it again.

"Will you be my boyfriend then?" he had not been worried at all up until the moment the words left him; this answer meant everything to him. Because it was probably, most definitely, too soon to ask. But he couldn't wait, and a no would mean the end of him.

"Oliver I don't know, it's just so-"

"No, please. There is nothing bad about this and it's no one’s business but ours and who would care, your family? They won't care. Percy please"

There was another kind of silence as Percy slowly turned around.

"Fine… but we'll keep this secret" Oliver just nodded.

As long as he could be with Percy he didn't mind keeping it to himself.


Time passed and it went well, in the beginning they slept most nights in separate beds, there would be no "funny business" as Percy had begun calling it on school nights and they were never intimate when others were around. It pained Oliver a little when he saw other couples but other than that it went very well.

At the end of the year they had slipped into the habit of sharing a bed, just laying together felt very comfortable for them. After a while the unused bed that used to belong to Oliver just disappeared. It probably felt that it had not been used in too long or maybe the houselves noticed the lack of disheveled sheets and that they never had to make the bed and decided to make it disappear themselves. It did not matter, at the time they didn't need it.

But something bothered Percy, it was quite clear that Oliver cared for him more than he cared for Oliver.

He liked Oliver, probably more than he ever liked Penelope. At least on a more intimate level.

He felt very happy in his presence; there was something familiar in his company probably brought on by them sharing a dorm for so long.

But right now Percy had plans, plans for the future and no matter how he thought about it he couldn't fit emotions into it. And then there would be no room for Oliver, he would only get hurt.

He looked down at the sleeping figure next to him, a drop of saliva glistening at his lip as he hugged the pillow tight. He was adorable, but at the same time so handsome. How could a person like this find Percy attractive? Why did he have to like Percy so much for some dumb, illogical reason?

Percy looked at the sealed envelope in his hand and sighted. The envelope had no address yet but that was what the quill on his bedside table was for. But first, he needed to make a decision.

He slowly stroke away hair from the gorgeous face of his lover, something inside him flipped over as Oliver gave a small whimper that was so very undignified. A sound Percy knew he would kill over if someone else but Percy had heard it.

He enjoyed being with Oliver but this was his future. He needed to get his priorities straight.

So with a few gentle strokes of his quill he wrote on the envelope.

To Mr. Cornelius Fudge "Prime minister of magic"

The Ministry of Magic

And stuffed the envelope under his pillow, he'd deliver it first thing tomorrow.

He spent the rest of the night staring at the sleeping form beside him, studying his face as he breathed so softly. Something stung inside him but he could not lose sight of what was important, his future.


The n.e.w.t.s came and passed. Percy did splendidly as expected. Oliver did fairly well, he passed what he needed to pass and some things he failed miserably, but apparently it wasn't bad enough to not let him graduate. He also told himself that it didn't matter since he didn't need those grades to become a professional Quidditchplayer so it was all fine. He got a descent mark in the end.

He had also led the Gryffindor team to victory in Quidditch and finally the game was his! He had won it all, with some help from his team off course but everything seemed to be just perfect.

He had been accepted by Puddlemere united, only as a reserve but if he played well they might be able to offer him a proper place on the team when it opened up. And who knows where he'd end up after that! Not to mention he had Percy.

They sat together at the Hogwarts express, cuddled together but Percy seemed far away in thoughts. He had his head rested against Oliver's holding onto Oliver's hand caressing it with his thumb. But he was distressed and clearly had something on his mind; it had been like this for weeks now.

When they got off the train and Oliver were just about to say goodbye to Percy to go see his family, Percy pulled him aside.

"We need to speak before we leave" he said, making sure no outsider listened.

"We'll see each other soon enough Perce" he squeezed his lovers hand and gave him a smile.

Percy just bit his lip and looked down on the ground; the whole thing was very unnerving.

"What is it Pere?" he touched Percy's cheek affectionately and Percy shifted a bit at his touch.

"It's just that, you're moving to join Puddlemere united and I'm so happy for you but…"

"Don't say it's too far away, it's not! We can do this Percy"

Percy just shook his head.

"I've got a position at the ministry Oliver, I just had it confirmed by the minister himself and I just feel I should focus on that now. It's important and you have Quidditch. I just don't think we should let something distract us"

Oliver was shocked, how could he say that? So simply? Why was he so cold? It was like someone poured a bucket of ice cold water on him after a hard game of Quidditch against Slytherin which he had lost.

"Don't say that, Percy don't!" he stared at Percy, panic taking a firm grip of him from the inside.

The memories of all the years he had spent with Percy came flooding over him. Every year he would walk into that dorm and there he would stand by his bed, turning to greet him with a small smile.

"Is that a prefect badge I spy?"

"Are you surprised?"

"Not really!"

It would never happen again, he hadn't thought about it because he had foolishly thought Percy would always be there. He had taken him for granted.

Sure he had been a git sometimes but he was Percy. He was plain, clever, safe Percy Weasley with the gorgeous eyes and the red curly hair that had driven Oliver mad for years. He was the reason for all his agony but also the source of his happiness.

He remembered the hands of a young Percy rubbing his back when he was stressed over a game. All that teasing, the love.

Love

I love you

That must be it, he loved him.

At least he thought so. He had never loved someone before, but there had always been Percy.

Sure there had been other boys from different houses but in the end it always ended with Percy.

Because if this wasn't love then what was love?

I love you

I think I love you

I love-

"Percy I think I lo-" but Percy had already turned his heals and was heading towards his own family and that was it. There was a possibility that the sight of his retreating back was the last thing he would ever see of Percy Weasley.

I think I lost you

Something collapsed in Oliver, he felt as if he had been stung, hit by lightning. He felt suffocated by the air that was supposed to provide him with oxygen. He felt so small and pathetic, like anyone on this platform could step on him and kill him only to wipe him of on the pavement.

It was as if he had lost something vital, as if Percy were his arms that suddenly had been ripped of him. He felt handicapped.

And so the tears collected in his eyes and before he knew it he was sobbing like a child, like he hadn't done in years. His mother who had cheerfully approached him after spotting him among all the students turned her smile into a look of horror as she saw the tears rolling down her sons cheeks. She gave a shriek and clung to him like he was about to disappear before her if she let go.

This was his graduation; he should be filled with joy at this very moment!

"Olive hun! What's tha' matter?" his mother hugged him tightly as he sobbed into her hair. She didn't mind.

His father came up soon after his mother, jaws clenched at the sight of him.

"Stop yer girning lad!" his voice was sour but concern for his boy gleamed in his brown eyes as the expression softened and he hesitantly put a hand on his sons shoulder.

He saw how his tears worried his mother but Oliver couldn't stop. He felt other people at the platform stare at him. Students from different houses whispering among themselves, wondering if that wasn't Oliver Wood, captain of Gryffindor Quidditch team, weeping his eyes out?

But Oliver didn't bother with them; no matter how much he tried he couldn't stop.

Because he had lost him.


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