What Would Hugo Weasley Do?

By Collaborawesome

Humor / Romance

DON'T JUDGE PLANTS BASED ON THEIR COLOUR

Ron,

Sorry I had to cancel, Rialds has been such a dick since he's been made Head of Dept.

So, let me get this straight, some teenager just turns up and asks for Rosie's 'hand in marriage'? Are we living in the 1800s?

Harry.


Harry,

I swear it was one of the weirdest things to happen to me. Rosie's only 17, but this kid was massive and usually Hermione is around to do all this stuff but she just fucked off when he asked to speak to me. Bloody traitor. So what could I do? I couldn't exactly say no, who says no? Plus it's Rosie, I can't say no to Rosie.

Ron

P.s. Play nice and ask Rialds down to the training room and then curse him with something unpleasant.


Ron,

So what happened?

Harry.


Harry,

So he just turns up. Rose looks kind of pissed to see him actually, and when he introduces himself, I vaguely recognise the name because Rose hates this guy. Well, I thought she did. Then Hermione ushers us both into the good sitting room, the one we use to store the book overflow. He says this little speech about how much he loves Rose and then he asks for my permission. Then he gets all practical about it like

it's a business transaction. He's got papers to show he's worthy; He's got a letter from Gringotts to show he can provide for Rosie and property deeds for a townhouse and a holiday house. Letters from prospective employers. There was a letter from his family healer saying he was in good health. A note from a genealogist, with his blood status and potential to produce an heir, (I've sincerely tried to forget about that possibility). A letter from Hogwarts showing his predicted NEWTs. The kid even told me that he would look after us in our old age, how fucking creepy is that?

It was all there, I didn't know what else to ask for.

So I just asked him if he loved Rose and he said he did.

I told him it was up to her then.

I didn't know what to do, so I gave him my permission to ask her.

Maybe I should have asked Hermione.

Ron


Ron,

That is kind of weird, is he a pureblood? Maybe it's one of their weird traditions that I don't know about.

Harry.


Harry,

I'm a pureblood I didn't ask anyone. I'll ask Dad later, see if he knows. Maybe he was messing with me, maybe Rosie wanted me to say no. I mean she's 17 surely she doesn't want to get married yet. He just looked so fucking serious, his eyes were so dark. Like 'if you say no, I'm gonna kill myself' serious.

Ron.


Ron,

Talk to Hermione. I don't think it was a practical joke.

Harry


Lily,

ROSES ARE RED,

VIOLETS ARE VIOLET,

DO NOT JUDGE PLANTS BASED ON THEIR COLOUR,

I LOVE YOU, GODDAUGHTER.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY,

Uncle Neville.


Holly- baby, darling, sexy,

Do you want to meet by the school gates or at the shop? I've got some new threads that you are gonna wanna rip from my BOSS body.

But you can't, because it's not for your pleasure, oh no, sexy-munchkin, this damn fine suit is going to be my golden ticket into your family home.

I will see you tomorrow.

A suit containing a sex machine called Fred.


Fred,

Take off the suit, It's going to your head and please stop acting like tomorrow's going to be a big deal. I'll see you at the shop.

Your luv-munchkin,

Holl.


Holly,

Tomorrow could potentially be the best day of my life. The day you finally become mine. I can be a little excited, baby, can't I? I know you told me you were worried, but I'll be cool I promise I won't even mention magic if you don't want.

I just want to be with you forever.

I love you Holly.

Fred.


Fred,

You can mention magic, Merlin, I try and convince them I'm a witch every time I'm home, it won't make any freaking difference. I know you want to ask my Dad, what is it with you wizards being all traditional?

Let's just go and get it over with, then we can have a nice Valentines weekend.

I love you too, I'm looking forward to forever.

Holly.


Hugo,

I've organised a surprise Valentines day for Leigh can you get her to touch a portkey I've left it with Madam Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks at 12 noon. I'm sure you can think of a way to convince her. Tell her it's a raffle, she likes raffles, well I do anyway.

Thanks James.


Leigh,

I know you weren't planning on going to Hogsmeade but James has organised a surprise Valentines Day for you, and it leaves by way of a portkey from the Three Broomsticks. I don't know if it's an overnight thing, he didn't really give me any details, but I thought you'd want to be prepared.

Hugo


Hugo,

Thanks for telling me, I was going to sit in the library and feel miserable that my baby daddy couldn't even be bothered to send me chocolate.

I'll be sure to practice my surprised look.

Leigh.


Ly,

Can we invite Lucy to spend Valentines day with us? I think she might take it hard when Lorcan doesn't pay any attention to her again.

Molly


Molly,

Of course, every day is like Valentines day with you.

Snuggles

Ly xxx


Lucy,

Valentines weekend is this weekend, Lysander and I wanted to know if you wanted to spend it with us. Just in case you haven't got any plans.

Molly


Molly,

I'm working on Saturday.

Lucy


Lucy,

Okay, I didn't know you had a job. Do Mum and Dad know?

Molly.

P.s. The offer still stands if you change your plans.


Molly,

I work at Madam Puddifoots on Valentines, I offered to help deal with the rush.

Lucy

P.s. Shouldn't you spend the day with your boyfriend? You never shut up about him over Christmas.


Lucy,

Since when? Since when do you work at Madam Puddifoots? What do you mean 'I never shut up about him'?.

Molly


Ly-bro,

Weirdest V-day ever. So, as you know I had to go with Option 2 date (something I never usually do) but as I was walking up towards Hogsmeade, I started to think maybe she's better than option 1 date. That was the first weird thing. So I told her that, I think she took it the right way.

At the cafe, I got the make out table as usual, turns out your girlfriend's sister was my waitress. So I was like; Hi, Lauren, please don't poison my food. Turns out, her name's Lucy, why didn't you tell me, dude?

Then Option 2 goes into the bathroom doesn't come out again and Lucy tells me that she's left, says she was sick or something. Then Lucy sits down opposite me and starts chatting away like it's perfectly normal. I told her if I had to have a little sister I'd want one like her, cute but crazy, one that would smile whilst murdering you. Do you know she can raise a whole army of students in less than an hour? How cool is that?

Lor-bro


Lorcan,

I'm sorry your date got ill, I hope she is feeling better now. I'm glad you made friends with Lucy, now that you can better understand her it might cut down on her stalking.

Lysander.


Lysander,

How would I know if she was feeling better?

I think having one stalker is lame, having an army of stalkers is fuck awesome. If Lucy wants to stalk someone it may as well be someone devilishly handsome.

Lorcan.


Lucy Weasley,

My dear Lucy,

You are humble and gentle,

Happy Valentines day,

We don't think you are mental.

We love you very much.

Love for a daughter,

Is like a quill,

It will never run dry,

Even if it lies still.

Love for a daughter,

Is like a wand,

Perfectly suited,

I'm lost without one.

Love Mum and Dad.


Belle,

I guess you want to do something this Friday?

ASP


Albie,

I always want to do something with you, why Friday in particular?

Belle


Belle,

Oh Merlin, don't make me say it. Fine. You're my girlfriend, this Friday is the 14th and Salazar-forbid, I actually am going to (by choice) spend it with you.

Albus


Oh Albie,

That's so sweet, I'd completely forgotten it was Valentine's day.

Will you be my Valentine, Al?

Belle


Belle,

Not if you look at me like that.

ASP


Hi Rose,

I guess congratulations are in order. Here's a little present for the two of you.

Lots of love,

Your favourite brother.


Dear Hugo,

Thanks ever so much for the champagne, I've never had champagne that tasted of strawberries before. Not that I've ever had champagne before because I never get drunk ever, wink wink. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about marrying Si before, I know I just kind of sprung it on you it was really sweet of you to be so supportive.

Rose xxx


Rose,

Of course, you're my sister, if you love him, we'll love him that's how family is meant to work. I think Mum's a bit confused but she just thinks you're too young, she probably expected you to be a career woman. I think Dad was impressed by his speech though.

Hugo xx


Huey,

I know Mum keeps looking at me like I'm a freak. I expected her to be excited about wedding stuff, isn't the mother-of-the-bride meant to be a classic character? She just said that I didn't have to get married anytime soon. She really didn't like our plans for a summer wedding, I can't believe Dad's more on board.

Rose xx


Rose,

I know it's tough, honey, try and cut Mum some slack, she really does want you to be happy, she just doesn't understand anyone else's relationship. It's a problem I've encountered many times when discussing other people's relationships with her (she likes to gossip, I know, you wouldn't think) she just doesn't understand how other relationships form. I think it's because her and dad were friends for so long. Plus I think Dad's on board because this means you'll be a virgin bride, he was worried that as soon as you got out of school you'd have sex all the time.

Hugo. x


Hugo,

Ha! What little does he know. School doesn't stop that. I think you're right about Mum, she never really looked for someone to marry, whereas Silas and I thought about marriage when we started our relationship, that's where it was headed either that or I was going to kill him. I just wish she was as excited as me, I hope she'll get on board. What about when I have kids in a year or so? Will she still not like the fact I'm so young?

Rose xx


Rose,

Oh merlin! I did not need to know that! Really? Silas Jacks, he's so lumbering? Euggh! Why didn't you kill him? Mum'll get on board soon, of course she will, she loves you and you are a force to be reckoned with.

You're going to have kids? Haven't you realised how much trouble they are - I mean look at us - we're a nightmare and Teddy and Lily - imagine having one of those. Or Louis, oh Merlin, thank the gods I'm gay.

Good luck, I won't visit much.

Hugo


Hugo Ronald Weasley,

I think you will visit us muchly. We need a babysitter. I'll call them all after you, you have to promise you'll take them when they get difficult.

Rose xx


Rose,

I'm not sure I'm the best person to send them off to, maybe Molly and Lysander would be better?

Hugo


Hugo

I'll send them off to anyone.

You're just being modest, you could teach them all sorts, think all you know about elevators...

Rose xx


Elder Sister,

All previous unvocalised offers of baby sitting have been rescinded.

Younger Brother


Oh Hugey,

I was teasing, you could teach them about...actually I have no idea, what subjects do you even do?

Rose xx


Rose,

I'll take that as my apology. I do all of them - like Mum.

Just asked Louis, and he could name Charms with Professor Silverstein. When I handed him his exam timetable - he jumped with shock.

That's a Christmas story.

Hugo. X


Molls,

Do I take any of the same classes as you?

Louis


Louis,

Yes, you do, silly! We sit together in Herbology, not that you turn up often.

Molly xx


Mol,

So we'd be taking the same exams?

Louis.


Louis,

Yes... Are you trying to ask for help revising? Because I've already got a study group with Ly and some other Ravenclaws, or I could tutor you privately I don't mind.

Molly.


Molls,

Nah, I was just thinking, you're going to be in front of me in the exam so do you mind if I copy your answers? Or maybe you could pass them to me?

Love

Lou xx


Louis,

Firstly, I will be behind you in the exam and secondly, no, that's cheating!

Molly x


Molly,

You just need time to think about it.

Here's something to help.

Love Louis xx


Dad,

I know you won't approve but James and I went on one last Valentines trip before the baby was born and I'm going to be late back. We were busy catching up with Dom and Cora (Dom's girlfriend), she gave me some robes that hide my bump and we missed our portkey.

Forgive me,

Leigh

P.s. Hope Mango's okay it was a long trip.


Leigh,

I already covered for you, because I'm too soft. Is Holly with you? she didn't check in either, I covered for her too and now I'm concerned.

Dad


Dear Lily,

It was nice bumping into you today, literally.

Happy Valentines Day

Teddy


Teddy,

It was nice bumping into you too, I guess we need to go back to speaking or it can end up with us crashing into each other in the corridor, and well we know how that ends.

Happy Valentines day,

Lily


Lily

I know there is no right time to say this, but on a day when telling people you love them is a theme. I just want you to know that I will always love you, but of course you know that, so I also want you to know that I miss you.

Teddy


Teddy.

I miss you too.

Lily


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