The Ballad of LilTed the Jilted
Never was it known,
A tale more twixxed,
Than the Professor Teddy,
And his mistress.
No longer-flower white,
But still a Lily.
All summer long
She had pined,
Could love never known,
Be love divine?
It twas summer,
Prodigal, he returned,
to celebrate and show what he had learned.
Our flower learned to,
That true love's kiss,
Was soon to go amiss.
With her love gone,
She felt a fool,
She did not bemoan,
But back to school.
Our troubles are just beginning,
As our lovers will come to see
To start romancing here,
Things are not as they wish to be.
In correspondence they start as friends,
But affection overcomes and detention ends,
In secret a love they pursue,
What can only come to,
A tragic end.
'They'll never find the body'
Said Professor Ted
'What we really ought to do,
is handle this instead'
But did they? No.
Though given advice,
By Victoire the Sassy
And Molly (who's clearly more mature than you and more organised, as she has time to write ballads)
Oh Lily, immature of mind, but clever in wit.
And Teddy, regardless of transgression.
Lost to all, and lost to lust, they folly
In Hallowed Halls and fields of cauli
Leigh of James of James of Leigh
She did recoil at the fiery arson.
And the news of torrid depravity,
But her reaction was just a light of what was to come.
Listen closely to this scene,
In a hospital, we begin,
The announcement of Isolde brought us all joy,
A baby girl to this world to balance out the next boy,
She was charming, pretty just like her mother,
We all hugged and kissed happy for one another.
Now True love's kiss is a passionate thing,
So passionate, in fact, fists start flying.
Set upon was Teddy,
By those he called brothers,
The mood was set, one of anger and tension.
Those who spoke gave words we should mention.
The Mother, named Ginny, was the first to dismiss,
Even the mere happening of this kiss.
And that was the end of dear Teddy and Lily,
Never to be reconciled,
Yet still to be trialled,
In the waves of the North Sea,
On a rock once a prison,
The last blow was dealt,
For one would not stand up,
And one would could not stand by.
And that was the death of LilTed the Jilted.