Happy Birthday Fool
Hey Leigh and baby,
How are you both?
I was hanging with Fred and I thought I'd write you a letter because I love you. It's either that or help make a secret present for Holly.
In other news Roxie is pretending to be grass.
We are both fine thank you.
I don't think you should have told me about the present James, you know I'm not good at keeping secrets from Holly.
Also, how do you know that Roxie is pretending to be a piece of grass?
Lee and Humph the bump,
I asked Fred what Roxie was doing and he told me, he knows her best after all.
Sorry 'bout telling you, Fred says don't tell Holly, he's gonna send it real soon.
Ok, I won't tell Holly. Oh wait she just got a package.
Oh that's so sweet, tell Fred he's adorable, James.
She's really smiling, she looks happier than she has in weeks. Holly just gave me a hug, she said she's going to sneak down to the shop tomorrow, will you tell Fred?
I better go.
Love you Leigh xxxx
Lorcan told me to tell you that your Dad's in the castle probably official Ministry business. Anyway, I thought I'd pass along the message. So no sexy thoughts about Ly, eh?
Don't talk to me, just for the rest of the day. I'll explain later.
Lorcan told me Dad's in the castle, please don't tell him about Ly and me. Also don't scare the second year that I got to run with this note, apparently you frightened him once in Herbology.
Dad's not here.
Very funny, can you just be normal for one second? I am totally freaking out here, I have to keep Dad away from like everybody, because I, stupidly, thought I could wait until Easter to tell Dad I had a boyfriend. Which now doesn't matter because Lysander is going to break up with me or Dad's going to kill him.
P.S. Plus Teddy keeps asking why a crying second year is running notes in and out of his class.
P.P.S Said 2nd year is now demanding payment, what did you do to him?
Our Father, Percy Weasley is not at Hogwarts. You may think the world exists around you and parents can just drop everything to visit their children at school but the world doesn't actually work like that, you are not wizarding royalty. So please have your melt down elsewhere.
P.S. Uncle Neville is totally cool with Derek (the second year has a name) leaving class at random intervals
Wait, Dad's not here? Then, why? I AM GOING TO MURDER LORCAN SCAMANDER!
How dare you threaten my future husband? Don't even think about harming one beautiful golden hair on his head or you will regret it.
I just got sent out of class, by Teddy, no less. Besides how do you know Dad isn't here?
I know where everyone is, always. Dad is currently in the Ministry elevator.
You are not stalking Dad! That's crossing a line, another line, Lucy.
Of course I'm not stalking Dad, I would never invade his privacy like that. I put a charm on his secretary, besides didn't you want to know where he was?
Ly-bro and Molly,
Haha April Fools!
What have you got Teddy for his birthday I presume it involves vegetables and nakedness?
I got him a book.
A book? Oh my gosh, I broke you, I broke a person. What am I going to find out next? Louis suggested it? The boy can't read.
Calm down, it's the Karma Sutra.
Thanks for the present. I have to ask, because I know you, does it contain any poison, dark magic, other ways to kill me?
No. Belle said I'm not allowed to kill family,
Thank-you. Never thought anyone could tell you what to do.
No one tells me what to do, she merely pointed out that it is better not to be the obvious suspect for a murder.
Nice to see you haven't changed
Thank you for the album, I didn't know you had such an interest in photography. I really appreciate your gift, I can't believe I never noticed you taking our photo.
Please do not feel the need to thank me, you simply got in the way of me taking someone else's photo.
Here's some of my best product. Save it for when you're sacked, or the summer.
I know we have a tradition but I'm afraid I've been working on something else for your birthday this year. So you'll have to wait a little longer for your usual present as my plan comes to fruition.
You don't have to get me anything, you've already done so much for me, Huey. Although I always appreciate your presents you put so much thought into them, they mean so much to me
Dear Uncle Neville,
How is our plan progressing? Are you ready to send the letter to Uncle Harry.
I still don't understand what the plan is Hugo, if I'm a part of it or a conspirator. I'll send the letter to Harry but I think it will just anger him.
You are very lucky we all trust you, and, we are very lucky you're not Albus.
Prof Neville Longbottom.
SENT TO H. POTTER
Hmm, I reckon, what I want most for my birthday is Lily wrapped in bacon, but after that I'll take some honeydukes.
I was sent the enclosed letter via a Hogwarts Owl, I do not think it was meant for me.
Have you seen any interaction between my daughter and my godson?
I'm sure it was just a prank, maybe a late April Fools? Although you have to know Teddy's feelings won't just disappear even if you did tell him not to act upon them.
I told Harry basically what you told me to tell him. He still suspects dark magic, but I don't think he suspects me at least. I've been so wrapped up in this I haven't even sent Teddy a birthday gift.
Still terribly confused,
Your Father has told me you are getting quite large have you thought about retiring from school? It may be best for you to stay with me until you are ready to have the child, I do not trust the establishment your mother runs to be a calm place for your needs right now.
Please consider this offer in your current state.
Also consider that Longbottom women can still retain a certain amount of grace no matter how pregnant they are. A pregnant women is something to be worshipped, it's a symbol of good health to the world and good luck to future generations, you are a beacon for the next generation. Now more than ever it is time to be an exemplary witch, a good example for your fellows.
Your Great Grandmother,
How are you? How is Lysander? I would ask about your work but I know you are doing excellently in everything.
I'm fine, we are fine. What do you want?
So sceptical, you have been hanging out with Lily too long, speaking of Lily, how is she and what about her and teddy?
Smooth. Why don't you ask Lily?
We avoid the topic she still thinks I don't approve, but I'll ask her.
How are you?
Molly told me you want the gossip, you don't have to go through eight letters worth of paper-foreplay. Meet me in the kitchens and I'll give you the dish.
Molly and Arthur,
Thank you for my birthday cake and my card, I am indeed very much enjoying being a Professor. Although, I'm afraid I'm not doing so well at keeping an eye on your grandchildren, it would be more accurate to say they are keeping an eye on me.
I hope you are well,
Lots of Love,
Here's your present, I thought it better for you to have him on a weekend.
P.S. Don't get him wet.
Thank you for the puppy, I didn't realise he would only be here for a day. I kind of miss him, ok I miss him a lot, and I cried like a girl when he disappeared into smoke because it reminded me of the fragile nature of everything in life.
Please may I have him back?
Life is fleeting,
Life is fast,
Treasure what you have before it's too late.
I need you to do something for me,
Can you sneak into the kitchens and get me some muffins?
Shall we get something for Professor Lupin, for his birthday? If so can you give me some ideas as to what? Yes I am trying to make this a joint activity to pretend to care about your family and to pretend not to support traditional chauvinistic roles in which this would typically be the wife's job.
How did you know it was Teddy's birthday? I don't even know what to say about the fact we're now at the point at which we give gifts together. As for pretending to care about my family, when did that happen? You have stunned me Silas Jacks and not in the usual way.
I researched necessary information and Albus told me the rest. Thank you for letting me sign the card and for what you told me, being let in on family secrets is the first step to acceptance.
We haven't talked in a while, your mother of course keeps me updated, whenever she comes to see you play, but I was wondering how you were? How's Quidditch? How are you feeling about your impending fatherhood?
Got hit by a bludger today, usually I don't mind but it worried me a bit because I want to be around to see Augustus being born. Don't tell Leigh about the bludger I don't want her worrying. I'm not overly worried, Leigh's answered all the questions I had. I figured from my experience kids just do what they want regardless of what you tell them so what are you gonna do?
I mean let's think about it, Mum gave Al and me that really scary lecture about not knocking up girls and that didn't work out did it?
Then you took Teddy to Azkaban and even I punched him, doesn't mean he's not still in love with Lily. People don't work like that, all you can do is react to situations like you did with me and Leigh.
I hope I just do as well as you did, you're such a good Dad and you're going to be a great Grandpa. Even if Gus is totally messed up like Albus, I'll just do my best, to accept whatever he throws at us, and try and keep him out of jail, wizard or muggle.
Besides I've got Leigh, I couldn't ask for a better Mum for my baby boy.
See you soon,
So I've had this feeling, a paranoia really, that people have been trying to tell me that Teddy and Lily were still not 'over each other', to use the colloquial. I just want to thank you for your letter.
I really do think you'll be an excellent Father, or at least a very laid back Father.
Your Dad thinks you and Teddy are an item, he wants me to do some digging on the subject. I figure we'd cut the crap. I enclose liquid eyeliner. So are you?
Nope, Not yet, Not for lack of trying. Thanks for the eyeliner.
Love Lily x