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What Would Hugo Weasley Do?

By Collaborawesome

Humor / Romance

Getting what you want

Transfiguration, Third Period. Year Seven combined class. Note passed between Albus Severus Potter and Silas Jacks

Al,

I say this as your friend? Acquaintance? Person you will tolerate within fifty feet of you at all times?

STOP STARING AT BELLE!

Silas Jacks.


Silas,

I've decided I want Belle.

Albus


Albus,

As a pet?

S.J.


S,

*Rolls eyes* Don't be a dipshit.

A.


A.

So... As a hostage? Are you going to trade her for dark artifacts?

S.


S.

Not my original plan.

A.

P.S. Reckon she could fetch an embalmed thestral head at least.


A.

You're warped in the head, y'know that, yeah?

Shuffles away discreetly,

Silas


Silas,

Yeah... But that's not really why I want her.

Albus


A,

So just a test subject then?

S.J


S.J,

No. I want to date her, or sleep with her, or something.

Al,


Albus

Oh, didn't think she was your type.

Silas.


Silas,

...what's my type?

Albus.


Al,

Evil, like you? So you know you have stuff in common?

S.


S.

I see how you would come to that conclusion, but it's not like that, she's nice but can hold her own. I like that about her.

A.


A,

Dude, you've fallen hard. I mean she's pretty hot, so I say go for it.

S.


S.

I already am, she hasn't even realised, probably won't until she's in Xeno-love with me.

A.


A.

If you have such an evil plan, why ask for my advice?

S.


S,

Was never really asking for advice, more making you aware. It's just safer someone knows my intentions, incase I need to be backed up in court or something.

A.


A.

Why do your plans of romance, always seem so sinister?

S.


S.

Just the way I work.

A.


A.

Sometimes I wonder why I talk to you. Go on then, I'm already in this far.

S.


S.

Rosie makes you - oh, yeah, I know you are shagging. You both could do worse and better.

So we had potions together - Zax wasn't in, and neither was her partner, so we teamed up, and she kept up with all the evil stuff I said.

She also is really cute, so after class, I said I'd see her at dinner, and she said that she didn't think so, and walked away.

So I found her later and she was doing prefect rounds, so i walked with her and we just talked it was wyrd.

A.


A,

It concerns me when you say 'found her?'

S.


S.

I'm a slytherin, it's my nature - so are you, though you act like a Hufflepuff. Anyway, we're going on a date tonight, she doesn't know about it, but she's coming.

A.


A.

I am in Hufflepuff... By the way abduction is illegal.

S.


S,

No, you're not. It's not abduction if they are coerced, or something like that

A.


A,

Fine, I'm not, unless I'm an undercover Hufflepuff pretending to be a Slytherin - that's dumb, it's normally the other way round.

You worry me a lot, have fun on your date.

S.

P.S. I'd visit you in Azkaban. Well...not so much visit as maybe send a Christmas card every few years.


S.

Thanks.

A.


Fred you hunk of man-junk!

When will i get to see you again?

love Holly


Holls-baby,

maybe soon seeing as it's our annivvvvversary? Oh yeah i remembered and i'm going to sex you up good.

Love the

Sexy-Freddie,


My Boy Freddie,

You are the best boyfriend ever, I have no idea what Leigh is talking about James sucks compared to you. He doesn't have your SEXY body or your personality and he's ginger. I don't even know why she's banging the guy but too late now. So what are we doing for our anniversary?

love your SexBomb Holly


SexBomb,

I remembered is that not enough? Where would you like to go? I'll bring your favourite flowers, I can pick them out now even though they look like the other ones with the dust that gets everywhere. How about that restaurant that has those windows? You know the one. If you want something special tell me and i'll ask Hugo, because he does know all.

Fred.


Fredubbie,

Chill out, i meant what kinky sex stuff were we going to do? You would've worked it out on your own even if you didn't have Hugo. Although Hugo is like a skinny Buddha.

Holly X


Holl-a-back,

Oh thank Merlin, and how about I sneak in the usual way I'm sure i can think of something we haven't tried. Then again we've been dating since 4th year I might have to go out and get some new moves.

Fredster


Freddie,

I look forward to seeing your new moves, tomorrow at seven.

your sexy ninja XxxxX


Dear Harry and Ginny,

We hope you are both well. We would like to invite you to dinner this Saturday at 7 p.m. Leigh is home this weekend, and we think it would be best to discuss the situation face to face.

We haven't been able to get in contact with James, but if he could come as well we think it would be best.

Hoping to see you soon,

Hannah and Neville


Neville and Hannah,

Thank-you for the invitation, of course we will be there on Saturday. We've let James know that he is coming - he's always been a little lax on written communication. I've given up trying to teach him how to RSVP.

Hoping everything is okay,

Ginny and Harry


James,

I'm guessing you'll have a visitor soon, maybe brush your hair - we're having dinner with her parents tonight.

I'll side-along you there tonight, it'll be safer.

Dad


Hi Mamma and Papa,

What time is the food? Leigh stopped round, she'll make sure we get there on time.

You don't need to side-along on me, I have been able to apparate legally for three years now.

James


James,

Trust you to be late, would it kill you to set a good example...

Well Neville might kill you - don't act like a snake, or use to many 's-'words, or let him conjure a sword or you'll soon be missing your head.

I wouldn't blame him.

Get here now!

Dad.


Leigh,

Hope everything is okay? Are you and James planning on joining us for dinner, seeing as it started an hour ago?

Love Mum,


Mum, Dad, Harry and Ginny,

We're on our way - James is being...James. I just have to get him off the ceiling, apparently when he gets this happy he tries to levitate.

I think it is one of Fred's products gone wrong.

Love Leigh

P.S. Is side-along safe?


Leigh,

Side-along is fine.

See you soon,

Mum


Leigh,

How are you? I'm

I waited four days before I wrote this letter, and then you turned up on my doorstep, mid letter writing and told me the good news, so I'm finishing it now.

I know that this is scary, and huge, so huge (not you, you look lovely) but I'm excited and happy, I want us to grow old together and have lots of children, and I really hope you reconsider my proposal - I'm including a ring, just try it and think about it, you don't have to answer straight away or ever in fact. It'll always be you and I and the baby.

I love you,

James.


Dear Holly

Hey bestie. I'll be back monday morning for lessons, with dad. Sorry for disappearing on you. I'll tell you everything in full detail when i get back. Mum and Dad have been well...totally surprising. I thought they'd freak. Mum cried about having a grandkid, and fussed loads and Dad just looked totally surprised like he has no idea where babies come from. So just being Dad really. He put flowers in my room when I woke up this morning from his extra special greenhouse, and didn't even mention the fact he must have seen James lying next to me.

Harry and Ginny were really supportive as well, but they are obviously disappointed in James, they had plans for him to be England's next Captain. He can still do that, I'll never stand in the way of his dreams. I feel so guilty, I know, I know what you'll say.

James is thrilled he's always wanted a family, even though we're so young.

Miss you,

Leigh.

p.s. He proposed...


Dear Leighlingly

Thank the merlin people! i have been going out of my mind without you! Do you know how boring regular people are? I tried to people watch at breakfast but without your commentary to help my commentary it just kept on going round and round until I started imagining people as penguins. You know because first years are always so wrapped up in black cloaks waddling along. Aww, they are such cute little penguins. Then Hagrid came in and I imagined he was a polar bear ready to eat them, so then i got really into the arctic scene and I picked up the sugar bowl and started to douse it on their heads just when i squinted my eyes if you know what I mean. Then I got really strange looks and Hugo came and asked me if I was missing you, but it was one of Hugo's questions the ones that make you think you know. So I thought and I think he meant; You are clearly missing Leigh but you are acting weird and it is scaring the rest of Hogwarts so stop it. I know, right, it was a pretty loaded question. But it's Hugo he can do that. So I'm really looking forward to having you back, I've missed you, I want to talk to you, nobody understands me.

Holly-ling-ly

P.s. Big Deal, Fred proposes every time I take off my bra.


Holly-ly,

Penguins and polar bears live at opposite ends of the world. I've missed you too.

Leigh.


Hi Rose,

I know you are very busy what with doing ten or something NEWTs, being head girl and avoiding Silas Jacks.

But could you explain your cousin to me?

Sincerely,

Belle De'Lavere.


Belle,

You are going to have to narrow that down. A lot of my cousins need explaining.

Rose


Rose

Albus? Does he want to kill me?

Belle


Belle,

It's hard to tell, but probably... it is his go to response.

Rose


Rose,

Oh, what with the appearing in front of me, and putting dead spiders in my hair, i thought it was his way of making friends.

Belle


Belle,

It may be, just watch out for yourself. There is a reason why we avoid him at Hallowe'en, he doesn't need encouragement.

Rose


Rose,

So you don't have any clue what he's trying to do/say/be/execute?

Belle


Belle,

Albus is an enigma, if we start understanding him, then Hugo will be out of a job. Just remain within a safe distance and be aware of broom cupboards.

Rose


Rose,

Thanks for the, err, advice. I sort of took it, well not really. He was walking toward me in the corridor, and he looked really evil - sort of like he normally does, but as though he was trying to smile, but it was just too painful. So I smiled back, mistake I know. So then he kissed me - boy can he kiss. You probably didn't want to know that.

Anyway, I think we may be dating. Not sure, I could ask Albus but it would probably just confuse him - he doesn't like people talking to him. Well, I think that's what he means he actually said he hated all people.

Belle.


Belle,

I saw you together in the corridor today, and the fact that he interacts with you on something higher than a essential level probably means he likes you. That's the closest I can get to understanding him.

If you want to get rid of him, say you like Unicorns - he's terrified of them. I didn't tell you that.

Rose


Rose,

I've figured some things out myself, his indifferent actually means, I quite like this, I wouldn't mind doing it again.

I'll just keep to myself that I think Unicorns are beautiful.

Belle.


Rose,

Albus just told me we were going on a date. Yippee. Apparently Silas told him thats what you do with girlfriends. Normally he just takes me to a secret room to kiss.

I get slightly concerned when he acts like a normal person, I prefer him sinister, that way I know where I stand.

Belle


Belle,

That sounds like great progress. I guess it's true that opposites make out in closets, i mean attract.

You say words like 'yippee' and he has on several occasions tried to breed gryffins and kneazles.

Hope you have fun on your date.

Rose.


Rose,

The date was awesome. He took me to this room that just appeared, and the food he must have bribed the elves. He said maybe twenty full sentences the whole night. Three with a clause and sub-clause. I know I'm sad I counted, but I could actually tell he listened and everything.

Then, well, I know this will probably weird you out but let's just say I can understand why women like him.

Thanks again,

Belle


Belle,

Glad you are happy. Although to clarify, no one likes him. If you need any advice feel free to ask Hugo, he has loads of it.

Rose

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