What Would Hugo Weasley Do?

Oh Albus you haven't, have you?

Quick Introduction to our OCs;

Belle De'Lavere: Albus's new girlfriend, 7th year Ravenclaw, Muggleborn, killing with kindness, a good partner for Albus, less pyrotechnics.


James,

I just saw Albus kissing a girl...

Too shocked for words,

Your sister,

Lily


Lily,

WHAT?!

Also, too shocked for words,

James

P.S. Is the world ending?


James,

I think I have just about recovered. I can't believe, he was so Albus... I thought he was asexual, and the only way he was going to give mum and dad grandchildren is if he got hit by a cloning jinx.

So, Albus having a sex drive (they were really going at it) and apparently a girlfriend... Must mean only one thing - the world is definitely coming to an end.

Your little sister,

Lily

P.S. As the world's ending, I feel I must say, even though you are a terrible brother, I sort of like you and wouldn't mind awfully if people knew we were related, I'd suggest distantly though.


Albus,

My brother is a man. Tell me about your girlfriend.

NOW!

James.


James,

Her name is Belle and she's a beautiful (and sane) human being. Unlike you or any of our family.

Now leave me alone,

ASP.


Lily (my sort of sister-person),

I wrote to Al, and he wants me to leave him alone. So I need you to go undercover and spy for me and find out everything you can about her.

Her name is Belle, and apparently she's hot, and not like us - that's all I got from the letter.

Your distantly related brother,

James.

P.S. I took offense at your last PS, I think I am a great brother to you.


James, the offended,

I've been spying. Well, spying isn't the right term - I kidnapped belle and asked her lots of questions, to find out why she is dating Albus.

Firstly, she wouldn't submit to veritaserum, because she thought I was trying to poison her, (shouldn't have told her I made it myself). So, we can only take these answers on face value.

LLP: Are you, or have you ever been diagnosed as insane?

BD: No. *looks concerned (some may call it terrified)*

LLP: Are you dating him for his last name?

BD: No, I didn't know he was Harry Potter's son when we first met.

LLP: Why? Can you not read? Hear? See? (That would explain a lot)

BD: I'm muggleborn

LLP: Convenient excuse.

LLP: Are you dating him for his money?

BD: No!

LLP: Good, he doesn't have any, James and I raided his room over the summer, it's all potions ingredients and books, not a single Knut.

LLP: Do you want him to do your homework for you?

BD: I can do my own homework, though sometimes we study together.

LLP: Yeah, right studying, that wasn't what it looked like.

LLP: do you find him attractive? *tries not to vomit*

BD: Yes *a bit to enthusiastically*

LLP: Really?!

BD: *giggles* yes, but it's more than that, he's sweet, kind, smart, and funny...

LLP: *runs out of the room screaming*

So, I think it's clear from that conversation that the only way Albus has a girlfriend, is that he created her through a potion.

I think I should write to Dad.

Lily.

P.S. Good brother? You have to be kidding me, you enchanted my doll's head to be a snitch. And my teddy bear to be a quaffle, not to mention using my pygmy puffs as bludgers.

Not cool. So, not cool.


Daddy,

Albus has a girlfriend, and I have a strong suspicion he may have created her using a potion.

Love Lily.

P.S. If it's just the world ending, thanks for reading me all those princess stories when I was a kid. It gives me hope that true love will come and bite me in the arse (not unpleasantly).


Dear Lily,

Your mother and I will write to Albus immediately. This behaviour is definitely cause for concern and your brother being, well you know how he is. I suspect there may be something sinister at hand.

Love Dad.

P.S. The world is not ending, but is there someone I should know about? - I'm not happy with you children growing up. I'm still telling James, I'm too young to be a grandfather, but well he's James.


Dear Albus,

I hear from Lily that you have a girlfriend. I feel I must insist on a few things.

1. If you created her, that's wrong, it's not a real relationship, and it's definitely not healthy, please undo it.

2. If you used a love potion - it's just lust, and for a teenage boy, lust may be very fun, but technically it's sexual assault - I don't want to have to arrest you.

3. If you used imperio - oh, you have, haven't you! That's illegal, I'm going to have to put you in prison.

4. If all other options are wrong, and you are dating in a conventional way, that's great. Though I feel, your mother and I should meet her just to be sure. At the very least you should always question her judgement.

Take Care and remember we'll always love you, no matter how heinous the crimes you've committed are.

Love Dad.

P.S. Just in case, we'll have the talk again. Any questions, just owl me.


Alby,

You have a girlfriend! I'm so pleased, I must admit I was a little worried that you'd never find anyone, but this just proves there is someone out there for everyone.

Tell me all about her and why didn't you tell me you liked someone? I could have helped.

As always, ignore your father, he always suspects foul play. He says he's a diplomat, but he's getting more and more suspicious in his old age.

Love Mum,

Xxx

P.S. Also, hoping you haven't made her up, if you have - well, we understand how difficult being a teenager is.


Mum and Dad,

Belle exists.

I do, hi!

Belle and I are in a normal and happy relationship, and maybe I didn't tell you about her before because you don't need to know everything.

Can I add something?

Go ahead.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I'm sure Lily is a lovely girl, a very inquisitive girl, but could you ask her to stop asking me intrusive questions? It makes me uncomfortable. Also, Albus should really stop hexing her, everytime she does.

So, mum, dad that's about all - maybe go and pay more attention to the idiot and the gossip and your other kid who's supposed to be a professor here, but is acting like a lovesick school girl. They need your help.

See you at Christmas, though I might go to Belle's as her family are sane.

Speak later, much later,

Albus

Bye now,

Belle.


Daddy,

Albus is annoyed at me for asking Belle questions, I'm just waiting for a potion to wear off.

There is nothing to worry about. He's an idiot, so nothing is going to happen.

Why is life so mean?

Love you,

Lily.


Minion 7, formerly minion 2.

Your behaviour today was appalling. Subtlety should be the essence of stalking yet you seemed to disregard this entirely, how are we meant to keep track of the lengthening of Lorcan's hair? This is why we secretly photograph him, once he becomes aware of the photographs it's a whole different ball game. You are way too inexperienced in the business to take these kind of risks. I am seriously questioning your commitment to the cause. That's why I am demoting you to position 7.

Please hand in your omnioculars and high resolution camera, you will be issued with standard binoculars a long range telescope and Hogwarts camouflage. We will discuss your change in duties at our next fortnightly meeting.

Lucy Weasley

President of the Lucy Weasley Observation Army


Dear Lucy Weasley,

After the incident today I would like to suggest that we review our minions on the third weekend in November. According to research I have carried out our Worship and his brother will be visiting family in Russia at that time and thus all our current recruits will be able to focus their attention on honing their skills for his return.

Joshua Redgrave, first minion of the Lucy Weasley Observation Army


Minion 1, Joshua,

I appreciate the suggestion I definitely think we need to work on their skills, only half of them know when and how to use their camouflage suits. I doubt I could get any of them up to your standard after one weekend, have you seen any potential replacements for when you graduate this summer?

Lucy Weasley


Lucy,

You flatter me, I learned it all from you, you are an amazing mentor. I mean when I started I didn't even know that I could jinx my camera so it wouldn't flash.

Joshua


Lily,

I get that we are in the same office, but you aren't talking, so I'm writing you a note like we are teenagers - well you are, but please say something I'm bored of my own voice.

Teddy.


Prof. Lupin,

Why don't you think of something else to do with your mouth, rather than boring me to death with your incessant talking.

LLP


Teddy!

I did not mean kiss me.

Lily


Lily,

I had to check you haven't been bored to death.

Teddy


Teddy,

That is your method, you necrophiliac?

Lily.


Lily,

You kissed me back so you obviously aren't dead.

Teddy


Teddy,

You think you are cute, don't you?

Lily,


Lily,

Yes I do. Anything to add?

Teddy


Teddy,

I think we should stop writing notes

Lily


Dear Vic,

She kissed me, well I kissed her and she kissed me back then we talked a little. She said that she doesn't feel like we're friends anymore, and that I missed out on a lot because I decided to go and be a twat faced jackass - her words. I asked if we could be friends, and she said that if I played my cards right we could be more than friends.

Fucking Merlin, I'm in love.

Love your ridiculously happy best friend,

Teddy.


Dear Teddy,

Well, my idea of playing it slow and re-establishing your friendship etc. you just threw that out the window, didn't you?

I'm happy that you are happy, but she is still your student so no public displays of affection, okay?

Also, I want to be there when you tell Uncle Harry, if he tries to hit you, I'll pretend to go into to labour.

Love,

Vic


Molly,

I have something awesome to tell you. Meet me outside your common room now!

Lily


Lily,

It's 3:30am. No.

Molly


Molly

Please. I'll love you forever and ever. It's really important.

Lily


Lily

Can't you write it in a note? I'm in my pyjamas.

Molly

P.s. you have to love me forever and ever I'm your cousin


Molly

Fine. Teddy kissed me, and then we made out - awesome detention. I think we are sort of together now. We still have a lot to talk through, but I haven't been this happy since - since last time I was with Teddy.

Lily


Lily

I'll be right down, sod sleep.

Molly


Molly

Follow the girly squealing...

Lily


Dear Teddy,

I watered the plants in your house, when I got there a bird had flown through a broken window so I let it out and fixed the window. I also updated the wards they are passworded so think of your favourite animal, where your Gran lived, then the colour of your hair in order and they should unlock.

Oh and Albus told me you are acting like a lovesick schoolgirl care to explain?

Harry James Potter


Harry,

Wonderful small talk you've got there but honestly I'm fine, actually I'm really happy and that's what you want right?

Ted.


Teddy,

Of course that's what I want, but tell me you haven't got any ideas from Albus, please.

Harry

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