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Riddle De Dee: The Voldemort Musical

By Elysian III

Fantasy / Humor

Cast and Musical Numbers



(in order of appearance)

Lucius Malfoy...Lucius Malfoy

Little Tommy...Young Tom Riddle

Professor Dumbledore...Albus Dumbledore

Orphanage Matron...Orphanage Matron

Professor Slughorn...Horace Slughorn

Tom Riddle...Tom Riddle

(Get the picture?)


Understudies for Lord Voldemort—Gellert Grindelwald, Albus Dumbledore

Understudy for Tom Riddle—Harry Potter

for Little Tommy—Dobby the House Elf

for Lucius Malfoy—Draco Malfoy

for Bellatrix Lestrange—Severus Snape

for Harry Potter—Neville Longbottom

for Albus Dumbledore—Aberforth Dumbledore


Old Hogwarts Peeps:

Young Rubeus Hagrid, Moaning Myrtle, Olive Hornby, Professor Dippet, Professor Merrythought

Death Eater Chorus:

Lucius Malfoy, Peter Pettigrew/Wormtail, Rodolphus Lestrange, Regulus Black, Augustus Rookwood, Antonin Dolohov, Fenrir Greyback, Severus Snape, Bellatrix Black-Lestrange, Avery, Crabbe, Goyle, Walden Macnair, Nott, Yaxley, Travers

The Golden Trio

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley

New Hogwarts Peeps:

Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, Professor Flitwick, George Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Ginny Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, Percy Weasley, Rubeus Hagrid, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Aberforth Dumbledore, Parvati Patil, Peeves, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Luna Lovegood, Ernie MacMillan


Gilderoy Lockhart


Conductor: Elphias Doge

Keyboards: Professor Kettleburn

Piano: Cedric Diggory

Harp: Millicent Bulstrode

Trumpet/Piccolo: Stan Shunpike

Drums/Percussion: Firenze

Triangle: Marcus Flint

Electric Guitar: Arabella Figg

Bass Guitar: Viktor Krum

Acoustic Guitar: Colin Creevey

Air Guitar: Bloody Baron

Sitar: Padma Patil

Ukulele: Dolores Umbridge

Harpsichord: Romilda Vane

Lute: Wagga Wagga Werewolf

Lyre: Rufus Scrimgeour

Cello: Sanguini the Vampire

Bagpipes: The Fat Lady

Kazoo: Winky the House Elf

Milk Jug: Grawp

Music Coordinating: Amelia Bones


LORD VOLDEMORT (Lord Voldemort) has previously starred in the off-Broadway production of Sweeney Todd as the title character and Children of Eden (Father). His hobbies are torturing Muggles, Muggle-borns and Muggle lovers—and seeking power. In his spare time, he like to wear fluffy pink bunny slippers and watch the Food Network.

YOUNG TOM RIDDLE (Little Tommy) is proud to be making his Broadway acting debut. He has previously starred in his class play, Little Red Riding Hood, as Hunstman #4.

TOM RIDDLE (Tom Riddle) has previously starred in Rent (Benny) and Starlight Express (Electra). Tom would like to thank his mother for giving him life and magical abilities. He really could not have done this without her. Thanks, Mum.

LUCIUS MALFOY (Lucius Malfoy) has had the honour of playing Macavity in Cats and Prince Herbert in Spamalot. He is currently under house arrest and only allowed out for Riddle-De-Dee performances. He would like to thank his parole officer, Kingsley Shacklebolt, for giving him this honour.

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE (Bellatrix Lestrange) is crazy. 'Nuff said.

HARRY POTTER (Harry Potter) is still alive. Drats. He has been seen in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Benjamin) and Mamma Mia! (Sky). He currently resides in Yorkshire and has one child. Kisses to his honey bunch, Ginny.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Professor Dumbledore) believes that music is a magic beyond anything done at Hogwarts... which is the only reason he agreed to star in this production. Previously starred in Ragtime as Grandfather.

ORPHANAGE MATRON (Orphanage Matron) has previously starred in Avenue Q (Kate Monster), Legally Blonde (Mrs. Woods), Hairspray (Velma Von Tussel), Joseph and the Amazaing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Narrator), and Beauty and the Beast (Mrs. Potts). Apparently, she has the most experience and yet holds one of the most limited roles. She thanks all the children she's brought up over the past fourteen years while aspiring to her stage career.

HORACE SLUGHORN (Professor Slughorn) has been in Cats (Bustopher Jones) and loves soy burgers. His talents include perfectly mimicking the mating call of the water buffalo.

PETER PETTIGREW (Wormtail) claims that his favourite role was Judah in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, which he won a Tony for, but he is happy to have a role in this production as well.

SEVERUS SNAPE (Severus Snape) has decided that it was time to make a comeback after failing at the Off-Broadway production of Bring It On. He would like to thank Lily Evans for pushing him to fight the good fight.

SIBYLL TRELAWNEY (Sibyll Trelawney) is making her debut, seeing as she finally came out of the Tower. She would like to thank Minerva McGonagall for giving her the push that was necessary.

JAMES POTTER (James Potter) was not available for further comment.

LILY POTTER (Lily Potter) says, "ditto."

CORNELIUS FUDGE (Cornelius Fudge) is glad to be part of the cast after finishing his seasonal run with The Phantom of the Opera (Monsieur Firmin). He would like to point out to the general public that he wasn't denying He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return; he was simply trying to keep the peace.

MR. OLLIVANDER (Mr. Ollivander) is proud to announce his transition from film to theatre after starring as the Chancellor in V for Vendetta.

FENRIR GREYBACK (Fenrir Greyback) is part of this production after playing Renfield in the stage version of Dracula. He is looking forward to the instrumentals provided by the Wagga Wagga Werewolf.

MOANING MYRTLE (Moaning Myrtle) is unhappy, as usual, to be in this show. She would like to add that should things go badly and should Harry Potter die in the final scene, he is welcome to share her toilet.

OLIVE HORNBY (Olive Hornby) is glad to have the opportunity to make a small appearance in this production after her stint as Amber Von Tussel in Hairspray.

ARMANDO DIPPET (Professor Dippet) was in The Producers (Max Bialystock) and Hairspray (Edna Turnblad). He currently spends his days hanging in his portrait above the Headmaster's desk at Hogwarts.

PROFESSOR MERRYTHOUGHT (Professor Merrythought) loved playing Maria in The Sound of Music and decided to give this theatre thing another shot. In her spare time she likes drinking tea and playing rugby.

RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE (Rodolphus Lestrange) is an expert at ballet and has enjoyed recent stints in The Nutcracker (The Prince), Romeo and Juliet (Romeo), and The Firebird (The Prince). He loves his wife dearly, even if she is a wee bit off her rocker.

REGULUS BLACK (Regulus Black) has been seen in Grease (Danny) and Godspell (John/Judas). He'd like to say hi to his brother, Sirius, and would like to apologize for trying to steal his pictures of Muggle girls in bikinis after he moved out.

AUGUSTUS ROOKWOOD (Augustus Rookwood) can't act very well, but for some reason was cast. However, he did play the Tinman in his grade school production of The Wizard of Oz, so that must count for something.

ANTONIN DOLOHOV (Antonin Dolohov) quite enjoyed his role as Rocky in The Rocky Horror Show, thank you very much.

AVERY (Avery) is proud to be named after the niece of two of the authors… wait, he's not named after her, you say? Meh, it's a good name anyway.

CRABBE (Crabbe) says, "word to my momma, foo'."

GOYLE (Goyle) likes milk and cheese.

WALDEN MACNAIR (Walden Macnair) is wondering why the previous two death eaters lived to see the end of the series when plenty of smarter ones were killed. He has previously acted in Macbeth (Macbeth) and Hamlet (Hamlet).

NOTT (Nott) wants to know why J.K.R. never gave him a first name.

YAXLEY (Yaxley) is disappointed in his shocking lack of lines and singing selections. But, the production is sure that he is secretly pleased to be playing this "highly important" role.

TRAVERS (Travers) has been seen as Captain Hook in Peter Pan and Ensemble in Guys and Dolls. In his spare time he likes to fish and play hacky sack with Kreacher.

HERMIONE GRANGER (Hermione Granger) almost broke her leg starring as Pearl in Starlight Express and has recently returned from the hospital in Germany. After wrapping up this production she plans on touring with the new Phantom cast as Carlotta.

RON WEASLEY (Ron Weasley) really hated his acting career until he found this production. He has recently been cast as Victim #2 in Sweeney Todd and the Severed Head in Pippin. He is quite relieved to be playing someone who lives to see the curtain call.

MINERVA MCGONAGALL (Professor McGonagall) is glad to finally have a role with a name after acting in Ragtime (Ensemble), The Pajama Game (Ensemble), and Guys and Dolls (Ensemble). Needless to say, she is relieved to be on the cast.

POMONA SPROUT (Professor Sprout) is quite delighted to be part of the cast! After starring as Rose in the West End production of Gypsy she is more than ready to get her hands dirty fighting Lord Voldemort.

FILIUS FLITWICK (Professor Flitwick) has had the honour of starring in Willy Wonka: The Musical (Oompa Loompa #5), The Lord of the Rings: The Musical (Bilbo), and Seussical the Musical (Wickersham Brother #3).

KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT (Kingsley Shacklebolt) has loved his previous roles in The Lion King (Mufasa) and Spamalot (the Voice of God), but is ready to fill this much-needed role in Riddle-De-Dee.

GINNY WEASLEY (Ginny Weasley) has previously been cast as Eliza in My Fair Lady and Maureen in Rent. She resides in Yorkshire with her husband and one child, and would like Harry to know that she is pregnant again. Surprise!

ARTHUR WEASLEY (Arthur Weasley) is an aspiring scriptwriter that is currently in the process of creating his own musical: Plug it In! He feels the experience gained on this production will be most helpful to the success of his own musical venture.

REMUS LUPIN (Remus Lupin) wants the audience to know that this wasn't his idea.

NYMPHADORA TONKS (Nymphadora Tonks) is tickled pink to be involved in such a curious show, and would like to remind her audience of her Tony nominee performance as Fred in Once Upon a Mattress.

GEORGE WEASLEY (Fred Weasley) is actually Fred.

FRED WEASLEY (George Weasley) is actually George. Honestly, can't you even tell us apart in the program?

PERCY WEASLEY (Percy Weasley) was on the original Broadway cast of Rent as Mark, but he took on a more Muggle name to fit in with the theatre group (Anthony Rapp – read this Weasley's autobiography). He's glad that his character in this production is portrayed in a more positive light than in the last few books.

RUBEUS HAGRID (Rubeus Hagrid) is excited to finally have a role big enough to fit him. Other roles he has had the pleasure of filling are the Beast in Beauty and the Beast and Baloo in The Jungle Book. He'd love to say hello to Beaky, Fang, and all his other little preciouses back home.

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM (Neville Longbottom) is currently teaching Herbology at Hogwarts, but decided to take time off to take part in this production. He is glad to be starring alongside his best friends.

DRACO MALFOY (Draco Malfoy) is glad to have something else to supplement his trust fund income. In addition to starring as Will in Oklahoma!, he has recently released his first album titled Sexy Like Me.

ABERFORTH DUMBLEDORE (Aberforth Dumbledore) wanted to star in Riddle-De-Dee the moment he heard it was in production. After many failed attempts at auditioning he was finally selected after the four other Aberforths mysteriously turned into goats.

PARVATI PATIL (Parvati Patil) has recently been seen in Miss Saigon (Kim) and Rent (Mimi). She is thrilled to be on the payroll.

PEEVES (Peeves) has had a glorious time wreaking havoc backstage and hopes that he may one day soon ruin a performance for his colleagues. Mwa-ha-ha!

DEAN THOMAS (Dean Thomas) is glad to make his stage debut. Though never an actor before, he has previously served as artistic director for The Lion King, Aida, Into the Woods, and The Phantom of the Opera.

SEAMUS FINNIGAN (Seamus Finnigan) only took this role so as to please his mam. Thanks a lot, mam.

LUNA LOVEGOOD (Luna Lovegood) is surprised to find herself in this show, but pleased to be part of it just the same. She's previously been part of the touring cast of Wicked (Glinda) and Oklahoma! (Annie). She would like to say hello to her father and reminds everyone to stay safe and watch out for Nargles.

ERNIE MACMILLAN (Ernie MacMillan) is very pleased with himself for getting this role, and would like the audience to know that he has spent eight hours a day rehearsing for it.



Scene 1: The Orphanage

"Prologue"...Lucius Malfoy

"Riddle-De-Dee"...Little Tommy

"Little Tom Riddle"...Little Tommy, Orphanage Matron, Professor Dumbledore

Scene 2: Hogwarts

"Here at Hogwarts"...Professor Slughorn, Tom Riddle

"The Last Heir of Slytherin"...Tom Riddle

"Who Let the Beast Out?"...Professor Dumbledore, Tom Riddle, Old Hogwarts Peeps

"First Victim"...Tom Riddle

Scene 3: Transformation

"Revenge on My Father"...Tom Riddle

"Lord Voldemort"...Lord Voldemort, Death Eater Chorus

Scene 4: First Reign

"Death Eaters"...Death Eater Chorus

"Tearing My Soul"...Lord Voldemort

"Woah! I Look Like a Villain"...Lord Voldemort

Scene 5: Sealing His Fate

"The Prophecy"...Professor Dumbledore, Sybill Trelawney, Severus Snape

"Killing Harry"...Dark Lord Voldemort, James Potter, Lily Potter, Baby Harry


Scene 1: Deep in Albania

"The Years Alone"...Dark Lord Voldemort

Scene 2: Power Again

"Rebirth"...Wormtail, Avery, Walden Macnair, Crabbe, Goyle, Lucius Malfoy

"Bound Together"...Dark Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter, Death Eater Chorus

"New Reign of Terror"...Cornelius Fudge, Professor Dumbledore, The Golden Trio

Scene 3: Turning the Tide

"Snape Killed Dumbledore"...Death Eater Chorus

"Chasing Harry"...Dark Lord Voldemort

Scene 4: Obsession

"Wand of Destiny"...Dark Lord Voldemort, Mr. Ollivander

"False Alarms"...Dark Lord Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, Death Eater Chorus

"The Wand is Mine"...Dark Lord Voldemort

Scene 5: The Beginning of the End

"Horcrux Murder"...Dark Lord Voldemort

"Battle at Hogwarts"...Dark Lord Voldemort, The Golden Trio, Death Eater Chorus, New Hogwarts Peeps

"Riddle-De-Dee (Reprise)"...Dark Lord Voldemort

Scene 6: The Final Battle

"Victory"...Dark Lord Voldemort, Death Eater Chorus

"The Flaw in the Plan"...Dark Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter

"Finale"...The Golden Trio, Death Eater Chorus, New Hogwarts Peeps


All should note that Muggle electronic gadgets such as cell phones, beepers, and cameras will not function within the magical space of the theatre. Also, the use of such devices as Deluminators, Dungbombs, and any products from Weasley Wizard Wheezes are prohibited.

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