Home Is A Long Forgotten Concept

Chapter 22

The tension in the car was high. Sam clearly knew something was wrong, but was clueless as to what was actually about to happen.

Dean felt guilty as hell as he sat in the back of the car with his little brother, feeling sicker and sicker as every mile passed. Every mile that they came closer to the facility. Trying to keep his expression as natural as possible was proving the most difficult. Dean wanted to do nothing more than throw the doors of the car open, grab his little brother's hand and run far, far away from here. But he wouldn't, because he couldn't be selfish. He couldn't deny Sam a chance to get help. To get through whatever was making him feel so crappy all the time. So he sat, and he pretended that everything in life wasn't about to fall apart. Pretended that he wasn't going to have to see the look of betrayal in his little brother's eyes as he finally put two and two together. Because that would be the death of Dean. Seeing his little brother look to him for help. To make everything better like he used to when they were kids, or when he had a nightmare. Because that's what Dean had always done.

John drove up to the curb, slowing the car down to a stop before applying the handbrake.

"Why are we stopping?" Sam asked.

Dean sighed.

Noticing this, his brow creased in confusion before Sam turned to look at the building they had pulled up outside. Reading the sign, his eyes widened before he began clawing at the metal handle of the locked car door.

"Sammy." Dean grabbed his brother's arms and pulled them from the door.

"No!...No!...Don't leave me here...please don't leave me here..."

"This is the best option for you, Sam. They're gonna' help you, they're specialists in this sort of thing." John explained.

"No..." Sam shook his head frantically, looking between Mary, John, and Dean. "You can't...please don't do this...please..."

"The way you've been recently. Feeling upset all the time, they can help you with that. Make you feel better." Mary added.

"We're not cutting you out, Sam, we just want you to get through this. The doctors here will be better at this stuff than we are."

Sam slumped in defeat as he collapsed into his brother's arms, long, painful sobs wracking him. Burying himself against Dean's side, he shook his head against his brother's t-shirt, his tears turning the grey fabric a darker shade. Every fear and nightmare he'd ever experienced was coming true, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Sam knew that this was a losing battle. Nothing he could say or do was going to change their minds. "I hate you..." His state of almost hyperventilating meant that he was struggling to speak. His words losing their strength instantly causing most to get lost in the air. Sam however knew that Dean had in fact heard him as he witnessed his brother's face turn almost green, as if he was going to be sick at any moment. Turning his head away, Sam slumped even further against his brother, desperately wishing for this all to be just another nightmare. As a solitary tear trickled down his cheek, he felt Dean's arm wrap around him protectively, offering warmth and comfort before he heard him whisper. "It's just for a little while."


In the room Sam had been assigned, both brothers sat on the bed. They had entered in silence, Dean placing Sam's duffle down on the floor beside the bed before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. Sam sat down next to him.

A few more seconds of silence followed before Sam finally broke it. "Please don't leave me here." He repeated once again.


"Dean, I'll get better...I'll stop being depressed all the time, if that's what's wrong then I'll change, I'll be better."

"Sammy! Listen to me...listen!" Dean stated in a strong voice, halting his little brother's panicked begs. Shuffling closer along the bed to Sam, he placed two hands on his brother's cheeks, forcing him to look at him. "None of this is your fault. None of it...okay? " His soft voice explained. "They're gonna' help you here..."

Sam lowered his head.

"Sam, this isn't a permanent thing, it's just for a couple of weeks...we're not abandoning your we're just trying to help you. If that's what you're afraid of." He paused. "Is it?"

Sam nodded.

"Sammy, you're my little brother. We'd take you in any condition, because we're family."

"Then why are you leaving me here then?" Sam asked sadly.

Dean felt as if he was going to break down any second. It hurt him to have to be the brave one when his little brother was so scared and upset. "It's just for a couple of weeks. You'll be back home before you know it." He paused. "Now come 'ere." Dean collected his little brother in his arms, wrapping them tightly around him in a protective embrace.

Sam was crying into his shoulder, tears soaking the material of Dean's burgundy hoodie.

"Everything's gonna' be okay, Sammy...I promise..."


"There will be a two week settling in period. No visits and no inwards phone calls."

"Two weeks?!" Dean exclaimed. "No way..."

"Dean..." John began.

"No! I'm not leaving him here by himself for two weeks."

"Your brother will be fine, Dean. The settling in period always proves successful in making the patient feel comfortable in their new surroundings and helps them to settle in the routines of the facility."

"So no phone calls?" Dean asked.

"Inwards." The doctor answered. "If Sam decides to call you, then we don't prohibit that. In fact, we see that as patient progression."

Dean sighed. "How long we talking?"

"Until Sam finds himself out of his depression, or at least recognizes it to be something that is affecting him."

"But he always ready recognizes that he's depressed, how do you think we managed to get him here."

"He was still resilient to come inside and was highly distressed about the idea of being left here. That is not the sign of someone who knows they need help."

"He's scared of being alone." Dean explained.

"Then that is something we will try and combat."

"It won't work."

The doctor arched an eyebrow. "And why wouldn't it?"

"We've been through a lot, Sam and I...his fear of being alone, that's never getting fixed."

"Would you say you suffer from that too?"

"I was older when this stuff happened so it doesn't affect me as badly as it did him, but yeah...it's always at the back of my mind." Dean paused. "Can I see my brother one last time before we leave?"

"I'm sorry, but Sam has been admitted, that means that the two weeks settling in period has begun."

Dean went to say something but John placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Dean...you gotta' think of what's best for Sam."

Dean sighed before nodding. "Fine."

"We'll call you when the period is over."

They nodded before leaving the facility.

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