RHS Video Reel Collection

Dinosaurs: In the TV

In the dark... There’s a shot of a mostly black ABC logo on a towering building.

The picture changes to a stone carved hallway, leading to sparking off defibrillators hanging from a open door by yellow spiraled cords. The name Stu Boombird’s is engraved in stone by the door.

In coming stone carved narration... A dinosaur TV executive narrator says, “the computer: A antediluvian extension of the walnut sized intellect. The EndIndependentCom 8MY. The center of the most calculating intelligence money can...”

The picture scrolls over to a big supercomputer, next to the stone carved desk and the three lined up big glass windows behind it.

It has EIC 8MY engraved in gold over a gold plated circuit breaker styled computer. A silvery monitor is on top, with a long flashing red light and a On the Air bumper that can light up over it. A sparking off test pattern for ABC is over it.

Then... A record player scratch is heard.

The narrator realizes, “wait. This is the wrong script? Gah! All right: Roll the In the TV plug! Gah, I need a drink.”

The picture changes over to the Antediluvian Broadcasting Company test pattern.

A woman dinosaur calls out, “but I’m a secretary: Not a narrator!”

The TV executive says, “fine. I’ll pay you. Just go narrate!”

The woman dinosaur faintly chuckles. She adds, “all right.”

Loud footsteps are heard. A unseen door is shut closed.

A car is soon driving off.

Then... The picture cuts to a certain cave house before a bright sunny day.

The woman dinosaur narrates, “the Sinclair family. Just a ordinary day in the house.”

The TV set in the kitchen keeps cutting to static, and it’s the weekend.

In his baby chair... Baby Sinclair shakes his head.

He says, “aw, that’s not good.”

Then... He demands, “want a bigger TV.”

Robbie Sinclair is standing there facing him.

Robbie annoyedly says, “geez. Not everything can be solved with bigger sets.”

The picture cuts over to the roof.

A satellite dish is there: With a black control box, little orange and red laser cannons at the edges held by duct tape, and a portable light blue mirror with gold beads hanging around it inserted in a newly made hole in the center.

Robbie is putting on the finishing touches with some weird blue and black wiring to connect it all.

The narrator goes on, “but, when Robbie thought it was a good idea to reinvent the satellite dish for the baby... They were in for a surprise.”

The picture cuts to Charlene Sinclair and Robbie Sinclair on the roof.

Charlene tensely tells him, “that’s my mirror. Give it!”

Robbie comments, “we have a bathroom mirror. Why do you need it anyway, stomachtops?”

Charlene glares at him.

She quickly comments back, “for my makeup, wussy howler. Now give!”

She grabs her portable mirror, pulling it out. It’s still got wiring around it.

Some of the pulled wiring accidentally flips a switch on the control box.

Robbie and Charlene are fighting over the mirror over the satellite dish...when Robbie’s reinvented satellite dish’s lasers fire.

It hits the mirror, going red hot.

They both reactively drop the mirror.

It shatters over the edge of the satellite dish. Blue and orange lightning sparks from the pieces.

Charlene starts to go, “augh! I’m gonna tell mom. I can’t believe...!”

Then... A TV vortex of static, lasers sounds, 16-bit waving green dinosaur hands, and sparking off orange and blue lightning appears.

The wind kicks up. But, the satellite dish is surprisingly untouched.

Robbie realizes, “oh...no.”

Robbie and Charlene go ahh...as they’re both sucked into the TV vortex.

Then... The TV set comes up with orange lightning spun narration, “Dinosaurs: In the TV.”

On the TV in the family room... WeSaySo’s logo appears over the sped by continent of Pangea.

Their narrator says, “WeSaySo: The World’s only and best dinosaur led corporation. Some say it was rather fortunate there was a plug to just put into a wall to create a refrigerator. We don’t say so. We say it was us all along....because WeSaySo. What more can you ask for?”

In the TV... Earl Sinclair calls out, “I can: Get me out of here! I’m floating for no explanation. I should be happy not having to reach the remote. But, it’s freezing!”

He shivers in the sky of the WeSaySo ad, arms around his sides.

From the other side of the TV... Fran Sinclair says, “oh dear. I’m coming, Earl!”

The picture cuts to TriCera Cops Act V: Exploding Cop be Exploding, Complaints from Neighbors.

Dinosaur police officers are chasing a exploding dinosaur cop down a alley. Fire goes down the alley.

One of the police officers mutters, “damn exploding ex-cop scum! Cough, cough! Maybe we should’ve gotten gas masks.”

The other police officer coughs too.

They get ready to shoot with little light silvery gun pointers.

Then... The exploding cop is whacked down with a familiar tail.

He falls unconscious.

The police officers look stunned.

The first officer goes, “what?!”

In a taken police hat... Charlene calls back kind of annoyedly, “you’re welcome! Geez. What does a girl have to do to get noticed here?”

The second officer comments, “wait just a minute: She’s a minor. You’re under arrest!” The first officer adds, “but a nice dresser.”

The second officer suspiciously squints.

The officers look at each other for a bit. Charlene stands there nervously.

Then... The officers fire at Charlene.

Charlene goes, “augh!”

She runs for it behind a corner of the alley. On the way though, she shoots back with a stolen little light gun pointer of her own.

The second officer goes down. The first officer chases after her.

In another cut... The picture cuts to Robbie playing guitar and singing loudly in the music video “I’m Better than You” with Lyzzard Skyzzard.

Then, out of the live crowd... Baby Cuddlebunny M.D. is growing bigger and bigger.

He almost hits the cave roof.

And... Baby Cuddlebunny booms, “not the better, not the better, not the better!”

He smashes most of the instruments with his giant pink hands.

Most of Lyzzard Skyzzard runs for it. Robbie just looks up terrified.

In a third cut... The picture cuts to Earl, Robbie, Charlene, Baby, Fran Sinclair, and Ted Hardshell gathered in a 16-bit digital room made up of running dark blue and pale brown rimmed cassette tapes.

Ted Hardshell goes, “all right! We’re desperate! WeSaySo thinks we’ll be too profitable with the satellite dish. So, it’s them or us.”

The picture briefly cuts back to the Antediluvian Broadcasting Company office from before...with Robbie’s reinvented satellite over there, sparking in orange and blue lightning sparks. It’s even got a new gold rimmed portable mirror.

In a short while, back to the 16-bit digital room... Robbie, Earl, Charlene, Fran and the Baby are gathered together in a corner: Away from earshot of Ted Hardshell in another.

Robbie points out, “dad, they’re both bad. We can’t trust them to do the right thing and not squeeze out actor dinosaurs.”

Earl reluctantly says, “it kills me to say this Robbie. But...you’re right. We got to pull the plug!”

The picture briefly cuts over to a giant red plug with green and blue wires in a mostly light brown circuit board wall. Blue and yellow spotted green egg shaped modules are across the circuit board.

A stone switch is next to it that says in red letters “commercial break” upward and “TV movie premiere” downward. The switch is left on the downward position.

Over the TV... The narrator then cuts back in with lightning spun narration, “the movie. Rated PG. Fun corporate bashing for the whole family. And if you like the movie... Then we hope you buy the video game.”

On the TV... The picture cuts to a mostly red cassette tape box and a mostly blue and black striped video game box: With the Dinosaurs: In the TV TV picture with lightning narration, the Sinclair family, a angry looking Mr. Richfield, and the two nervous ABC executives on the front of the boxes.

They both have the ABC logo on the side. They also have a yellow lettered disclaimer on the side, “purely fictional and so in no way sueable in court. Really: Please trust us.”

On the back of the spun backwards video game box... More is on the back:

We were going to have nice cheap 90’s CGI. But then animatronics maintenance and tune ups went through the roof and cut the budget. So, enjoy the 16 bit graphics we pulled out of our own smoo.

But, but... ...can play as any of the Sinclair family.

Well, except Ethyl. But, she’d rather watch Earl’s misfortune on the TV. So, time well spent for her.

The narrator says, “here are some more passages for the game from This Sacred Video Game Instruction Book of Dinosaurs. Oh, how nice.”

The picture cuts to a instruction book done out like The Sacred Book of Dinosaur.

The passages go like this:

...levels include: Ask Mr. Lizard Lab Mess, Totally Hidden Predator, Try to Lift that Heavy Object Better, Dino-Hills 90210, Exploding Cop, TriCera Cops season IV, TriCera Cops season V, Mr. Ugh Swamp Adventure, The Family Challenge, Star Saurs(that spectacular space adventure with Meati and Vegi Lightsticks and Lightrocks, Darth Fielder, Luke Hander, and the twin Food Chain Stars fortresses), Revenge of Monster Valley(no relation to Star Saurs), Night of the Wereman, The Giant Radioactive Amphibian Attacks, Way Too Complicated, and DTV Macho Idiot Rock Weekend.

As for our unlockable characters...

They include Robbie as the alien from We Are Not Alone. He can zap enemies with lasers like you’d expect from a alien invader.

There’s Captain Impressive from Don’t Be a Hero, Earl. He has the same powers. But man, has he got a radioactive stink that makes him kind of a easy target to hit.

But, no: It doesn’t stop there.

...can unlock characters from the TV shows and movies to play as if you defeat them or get them to stand down and recruit them to help you(and don’t delete them for more points): Including Captain Action Figure, Mr. Lizard, Exploding Cop, and the TriCera Cops.

There’s Pearl Sinclair from Earl and Pearl. She can calm down enemies with her country singing and drag their bodies while in a tranced state to a cave to collect points.

There’s Georgie from Georgie Must Die and Blarney from Terrible Twos. They can calm down enemies with sing along and jump up and down on them while in a tranced state to collect points, let out a booming voice to intimidate enemies, clear the way by tearing through with their costume claws, let out a childish voice to leave enemies defenseless or confused to be taken down easily, and send in lawyer dinosaur minions with weak health meters to be easy targets to keep enemies scattered in their attacks.

Then there’s Terrible Twos Baby Sinclair himself from Terrible Twos.

He has telekinesis, greater strength that can clear the way by tearing through with his claws, greater speed and dodge to be almost indestructible.

His one weakness? He can be left defenseless or confused by birthday cake with candles scattered throughout the levels and be tempted to eat it...which would cause Terrible Twos Baby Sinclair to lose a life with cosmic lightning from the sky, because since when does Dinosaurs do anything easy?

Bonus unlockable levels are Refrigerator Temple, Georgie Vs. Blarney Live, Baby and the Moon Monsters, Three Idiots in a Tar Pit, WeSaySo Lawyer Jungle, WeSaySo Court Day: Charlene’s Flat World Edition, and Chief Elder Election Day: Heads Roll and Bowl with It Edition.

The narrator continues, “really: The Antediluvian Broadcasting Company likes your money. I know I do.”

The picture clicks off on the TV.

But, in a brief cut... The picture cuts to Earl walking into a faintly familiar human archeological site in a desert. The Clip Show is across the bottom right corner in stone carved letters.

Sir David Tushingham and the other archeologists run for it, screaming.

Completely oblivious to them... Earl sees a left half finished bucket of chicken on its side in the sand.

He gets excited.

He picks up the bucket and starts eating.

Earl then goes, “ooh! Chicken.”

The picture clicks off on the TV again.

This time though, the TV begins to fade.

As it all fades... It comes back over to a certain TV set.

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