Surviving At Stanford

Chapter 8

Sitting on the couch, I could hear Sam talking in the other room. He had been ringing Dean's cell ever since I explained to him what had happened.

"Dean, call me back when you get this."

Walking into the living room, Sam sat down on the couch next to me.

I turned to him.

He smiled softly, before pulling me against his side into a hug.

I smiled, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." Sam spoke up.

I furrowed an eyebrow and looked up at him. "For what?" I asked. "You don't need to feel bad because of Dean dumping me. Just because he's you brother, doesn't mean you have to feel guilty about what happened too."

"I know, but he's my brother, and therefore it's my job to kick his ass and tell him that he's made the most stupid decision of his life."

"So you don't agree on the whole, being around you both is going to get me killed thing?" I asked.

"I do, but the way I see it, is that we tried to keep the knowledge of what was really out there from you, and something bad still happened. Dean does have a point though. Me and him are like magnets for these kinds of things, but I believe that even if we weren't with you, you'd still be a target. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you and we weren't there to save you. I understand what Dean's getting at, but I'm not gonna' leave you because of it."

I smiled. "Thanks, Sam."

The door opened.

"Oh and one more thing I forgot to mention." He began.

I glanced at the door, and noticed it was Jess. Then realisation kicked in. "Sam." I looked up at him. "Please tell me you didn't."

"Sorry." He mouthed.

"Carrie!" Jess rushed over and pulled me up from the couch, bundling me into a hug. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Sam told me what happened." She pulled away, and smiled softly at me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded. "I'm gonna' go to bed, it's been a long day."

"Sure." Sam smiled.

"Night." I walked off towards my room.

"Night, Carrie." Came Sam and Jess' response.

"We should go out tonight." Jess suggested.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I'm not really in the mood."

"Exactly, it will cheer you up." Jess smiled.

I looked at Sam, forgetting who wore the pants in their relationship.

He gave me a look that said 'Do you really think me saying anything is going to make her change her mind?'.

I smirked before turning back to Jess. "Fine, one drink."

Sat at the bar, I finished my drink before turning to the booth that Sam and Jess were sitting in.

I smiled at the sight of them holding hands as they talked to each other.

Knowing that I would only be intruding if I went over, and not wanting to spoil their night by bringing down the mood, I payed the barman before walking out of the bar.

The bar was on the other side of town, away from the bustle of the college bars. Walking down the street, I looked around at my surroundings. I had only been down here a handful of times, so nothing was really familiar. I was thankful that I was sober enough to remember the route back to the apartment. As I passed the old church, I noticed the graveyard sat behind it.

'We are holding a service at the church on the 15th February as a memorial to Wolfe. You are welcome to come along.'

I sighed, knowing I had to face it sometime. Walking over to the brass gate, I lifted the latch and pushed it open. Entering the graveyard, I began walking down the path towards the graves. Using my phone as a torch, I began to inspect the engravings in search of his.

"You lost?" Came a voice.

I turned in an instant to see an old man holding a torch.

"No." I shook my head. "I'm looking for a...a friend of mine." I explained. "That probably sounds really weird."

"No." The man shook his head before looking me over. "Are you alright?"

I scoffed softly. "Long day."

"What's his name? Your friend?"

"Wolfe. Wolfe Dietrich." I answered.

"Follow me, I'll show you to it."

I smiled before following him through the graveyard.

Making our way down the old stone path, we soon came to a patch of newer headstones.

"There you go."

"Thank you." I smiled.

"No problem, sweetie." The man smiled back. "You take care now."

Walking down the row, I illuminated each headstone with the light from my phone, until I found his name.

'Wolfe Dietrich ~ 15th February, 1983 - 1st January, 2002 ~ Loving Son'

"Hey." I spoke up, softly. "I know it's been a while, but better late than never, right?" I sat down on the ground, leaning back against his headstone. "Guess I've been a dick, huh?" I sighed. "I couldn't do it. Chickened out at the last minute." I looked at his headstone. "I'm sorry, Wolfe." A tear trickled down my cheek. "I should've come." I paused. "It was your memorial, and I was busy worrying about my own stupid life." I sniffled. "Dean and I broke up." I stated. "He ended it a couple of days ago." I smirked. "You'll be happy. You always hated him. Always said the good looking boys are the ones destined to break you heart. Just one of your words of wisdom." I smiled. "It was like having my own personal Yoda around to keep me on the right track." More tears began to fall. "So...thanks..." I smiled weakly. "Looking back now, you took care of me, even though you had all that crap going on in your own life. But that was you. You always put everyone else first." My voice cracked. "I miss you, Wolfe." I broke down in tears, before burying my head in my hands as I cried.

"Please don't cry." I heard a voice speak softly.

I furrowed an eyebrow, looking up in an instant. As I saw him, my eyes widened.

Wolfe knelt down beside me.


He smiled softly.

I reached out my hand towards him, amazed when I was actually able to make physical contact with him. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I smiled in amazement before pulling him closer, bundling him into a hug. "I've missed you so much!" Tears were still trickling down my cheeks.

"I've missed you too." Wolfe stated with a smile as he hugged me tight.

Pulling a away a few seconds later, I took in the sight of him.

Wolfe sat down beside me, leaning back against his own headstone.

"How can I?" I began.

"See me?" Wolfe finished. "For someone who knows what you do, does this really seem out of the ordinary?"

"How do you know about that?" I asked.

"I never left you, Carrie." He stated. "Well maybe physically, but my spirit followed you."

"So you're not real?"

"No." Wolfe shook his head. "I'm all in here." He pointed to my head. "But that doesn't matter." He smiled softly. "I'll always be with you, Carrie. You're my friend, and my death isn't going to change that."

I smiled.

"Come here." He put out his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders before pulling me against his side.

I smiled once again and rested my head on his shoulder. A lone tear fell.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, softly.

"Because I'm happy." I answered.

Wolfe smiled. "I love you, Carrie. Remember that."

I nodded.


"I will."


I felt myself being shook.

"Carrie!" Someone shouted.

Sam was knelt in front of me. A look of relief was visable on his face. "Oh thank god!"

"What?" I looked around.

Wolfe was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I'm fine." I stood up.

Sam glanced at the headstone I had been sitting next before realisation kicked in. He sighed. "Carrie, I am so sorry."

I shook my head. "Don't be."

"I should have remembered." He stated.

"It's not your responsibility to remember everything in my life, Sam."

"I know how hard it was for you after Wolfe..."

"Don't!" I cut him off. "We're not going to re hatch that..." I looked around, noticing Sam's lack of blonde companion. "Where's Jess?"

"She's back at the apartment." Sam explained. "You just left earlier at the bar. We thought you'd just gone back there." Sam paused. "Why did you take off earlier?"

"You and Jess were happy, Sam. You weren't worrying about me, you were having fun with your girlfriend. You deserve it, so I wasn't going to ruin it by being the third wheel."

"You're not the third wheel, Carrie." Sam stated.

"Yes I am. I always have been." I stated. "I was to my parents. They didn't give a crap about me, they just showed up every few months then vanished for the rest of the year. I was to my friends. They didn't like me. Treated me like shit and never included me in anything. I was just this lonely kid that everyone ignored cause' they all thought I was a freak."

"Carrie..." Sam began, softly.

A tear trickled down my cheek. "Everyone around me dies!" I shouted. "First it was my Mom and Dad, then Wolfe, and Bobby!" I was beginning to break down, as my strong tone began to crack. "Everyone!" I stated.

Sam walked closer before cautiously reaching out to me and gently taking a hold of my arm.

I pulled it free from his grip. "You don't get it!" I stated. "Everyone leaves me!" I looked down and scoffed. "Hell, even Dean has." I looked back up at Sam. "Why me?!" I screamed.

"Come here." Sam spoke softly before wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.

"No!" I shouted, as I fought against his hold.

Sam stroked my hair, unaffected by the light hits I was throwing at his chest. "I know." He comforted softly. "It's okay...It's okay..."

I burst into hysterical sobs in Sam's arms, burying myself against him as I cried.

"It's okay..." He reassured.

"I miss him so much." I admitted. "I miss Dean."

"I know." Sam rested his head on top of mine, holding me tight in comfort. "It's okay, Carrie. Everything's gonna' be okay."

-Sam's POV-

Looking down at Carrie lying asleep on the couch, I winced in sympathy. She looked so broken. Her eyes dark red from crying.

As Jess walked in, her eyes widened. "Thank God! I was so close to calling the cops and reporting you two missing. Where have you been?" She then noticed Carrie. "What happened?"

"She's not coping well." I stated.

"It's not just that." I sighed. "Carrie lost her Mom and Dad in a car accident when she was fifteen. She was in the backseat. My Uncle took her in and looked after her. A few months down the line, Carrie made a friend at school. His name was Wolfe. Well, long story short, Wolfe had cancer. Carrie was there when he died. After that, my Uncle, he died too. Carrie watched it happen." I paused. "I found her tonight, in the graveyard crying beside Wolfe's headstone."

A tear trickled down Jess' cheek.

"You didn't see her, Jess. Not when she had tears streaming down her cheeks, and was screaming about how everyone around her dies, or leaves her."

Jess walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"She's not in a good place right now." I paused. "Everything with Dean, it's..." I paused again. "She's wrecked, Jess." I looked down at Jess. "What are we going to do?"

Jess looked up at me. "You need to call your brother."

Finding Dean's number, I pushed call.


"Come on, Dean, answer your phone."

After a few unsuccessful attempts, he eventually picked up.

"Sammy, I'm kinda' busy right now." Dean stated.

"It's about Carrie." I stated.

"Sam..." Dean spoke, dryly, knowing what I was going to try and do. "Listen..."

"No! You listen!" My tone was strong. "You know where I found her tonight?" I asked. "Crying her eyes out in a cemetery."

"Why was she in a cemetery?"

"Visiting Wolfe's grave." I paused. "She's not coping, Dean..." I sighed. "She's not sleeping, she's not eating, she hardly talks. The most she's said to me in the last week was tonight when she screamed about how everyone around her either dies or leaves her, before she broke down." I explained. "She thinks the world's against her right now." I paused. "Look man, I know you're trying to be the good boyfriend and stay away for her own safety, but this is killing her."

"What do you want me to say, Sam?" Dean asked. "I mean come on man, you can't seriously think that being around us is good for her."

"No, but she's been in our lives for how long, as she's still here."

"Yeah but look how many times she's been caught in the crossfire."

"Dean, before she met Bobby, Carrie had no one. The last thing she needs is to feel like she's alone."

"She's better off without me, Sammy." Dean stated. "She..." He paused. "She just is."

He hung up.

"Dean!" I went to argue before realising that he had hung up. "Damn it!" I threw my phone down on the bed in anger.

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