It Only Took Eight Years

Summary

Spencer Reid has been harboring deep feelings for his boss Aaron Hotchner for a long time now. He finally gets the courage to tell him, but his fear make him run. Aaron just may lose his best friend.

Genre:
Drama / Other
Author:
Holly Keas
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
12
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
18+

The Confession

I think one of the most poignant things is unrequited love and loneliness- Wilbur Smith.

Reid stood outside of Aaron's house nervous for the first time in almost eight years. He and Aaron had been having movie nights almost every Saturday since his ordeal in Georgia. At first Haley was resentful of it, but then she eventually came around. She came to understand that the young man was seeking a family and that Aaron was helping him cope with what happened to him those horrible dark days. When she and Aaron separated, she was actually sad that she wouldn't see the young man as much.

Not everyone on the team knew. Gideon had found out but didn't really say anything, he didn't feel it was his place. Later Rossi figured it out and was glad that Reid had found someone he could connect with. And while it was true that the kid was the heart of the team Rossi knew that a deep friendship had developed between his former protégé and Spencer. Everyone assumed that Derek was Reid's best friend, and that was true in a sense, but it really was Aaron that seemed to understand Reid the best.

So, movie in hand, feet shuffling he waited for Aaron to answer the door.

"Spencer," And there it was, the dazzling smile that Aaron only used when he was home and it caught something in Reid's heart, but he locked it away like he did every time because he knew that nothing would ever come of it. He figured that Aaron would freak out, or hate him if he confessed what it was he was feeling. Harboring these kinds of deep feelings for your boss was not always a smart idea.

"You didn't have to ring the bell, you know that." Aaron stepped aside with a look of confusion on his face. Reid had always just come in the door, an unspoken trust between the two friends.

"I ah, I know, I don't know why I did it." Spencer smiled sadly. He had made up his mind to try to put into words what it was he felt for Aaron and it made him nervous. He walked in and Hotch placed a hand on Reid's shoulder, lightly squeezing. It was an old practiced gesture but Reid welcomed it nonetheless.

"Here, I brought Young Frankenstein, did you know the line walk this way, that Igor says to Victor Frankenstein early in the movie inspired the rock band Aerosmith's song Walk This Way?" Reid said ginning sheepishly.

And there it was again, that dazzling dimple showing smile of SSA Aaron Hotchner, "No actually I didn't know that." He said as he walked into the kitchen to pour a couple of drinks.

"Yeah and the song went on to chart at the billboard's top 10 in 1977 despite being a 'b' side track." Reid knew he was rambling again, but he couldn't always stop himself. He had gotten better at the social cues over the years, but sometimes his old habits just slipped through.

What Reid didn't know was that Aaron loved Reid's quirks. He sometimes hated when he had to cut the younger man off. But it was not always a good idea to let him ramble when they were in the middle of a case.

"Um, where's Jack?" Reid always missed it when Jack wasn't there.

"He had a sleepover with some friends. It's just us tonight." Aaron brought the drinks and the popcorn he had prepared earlier over to the table. Reid just stood there, not moving.

"Spencer, are you okay?" Aaron hadn't seen Reid this strangely nervous in a long time and it began to worry him.

"Aaron…" He walked over to the coffee table, picked-up his glass of iced tea and took a long drink. He then set it down and turned back to his boss, his friend. "I don't know if I can do this anymore…" No, that wasn't what he wanted to say dammit.

Aaron looked confused, he thought the younger man liked coming over, "Spencer, what do you mean?"

Reid huffed out a sigh, sat down on the couch hung his head in his hands. It took a few minutes for him to get the courage up to say what he wanted to say.

"Aaron, everyone assumes that Derek is my best friend. And on the surface you could say they are right. We go for coffee every Sunday, I sometimes go to basketball games with him because it's the only sport that makes sense to me. We have dinner every so often and go to horror movies. But, it's not true. Derek's like the big brother I never had but he doesn't always get me." This was coming out all wrong but he didn't know how to stop himself.

"I can say without a doubt Aaron that you have always been my best friend. Ever since Georgia when you risked your career in helping me you are the one that has always been there. When Gideon didn't want to help, when I left signs that I needed help he purposefully ignored them. I don't know why, I never knew why and I think that's when my resentment towards him started. You knew though, and you figured out how to get through to me. I know it wasn't easy, but if you hadn't been there I don't know if I would have made it. I know that the team doesn't always see it but you understand me. They had all questioned me after Georgia on why I didn't pick Derek. Because I know he wouldn't have understood, he wouldn't have gotten the clues, but you did because you're smarter than you let on Aaron." Reid chuckled. One day he had been curious to know if Aaron had ever taken an IQ test. The bureau will often give them if their agents were ever interested. So he looked, with Garcia's help of course, in Aaron's file and wasn't at all surprised to find that their Unit Chief's was 154.

"I saw your IQ score. I wasn't surprised, but I bet the rest of the team would be. You know that could be considered near genius." He smirked. Then just as suddenly he got serious again, "I know I'm different, strange to some…"

Aaron sat down next to Spencer, "Spencer, what is this about?" Concern colored his voice.

Reid turned his head and the look of pain on the young man's face stopped Aaron's heart cold. "Aaron, I…I have feelings for you and I don't know what to do with them." His heart beat was a little too fast as he looked at his boss and best friend. Suddenly he got up, grabbed his bag and ran out of the apartment. Aaron made to go after Reid, but the younger man just shook his head. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to be alone.

Aaron's head was reeling. He knew that Reid was attached, but he had no idea that his feelings towards Aaron went that deep. He wanted to go after Spencer and tell him that he thought much the same way. To the outside world David Rossi was his best friend and in some ways he was, but it was often Reid that he sought out to bounce ideas off of. Or when a new psychological or clinical theory crossed his desk it was always Reid he talked to about it. If he stopped and got coffee he always brought Reid a cup. There were a lot of little things through the years that suddenly made Aaron pause.

"Well shit," He thought as he sat heavily down on his couch. He didn't know how or when it happened but his feelings towards the young genius had changed also.

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