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Knife's Edge

By SarahWinchester96


Chapter 1

"Sammy!..." I heard his voice call. "Sammy!..." His tone so taunting. I flickered my eyes open to see him sitting on the wooden chair by the table in the motel room. "Hey bunk buddy!" He smiled.

Washing a hand down my face, I wished that he would just let me sleep, even if it was just for a few hours. Seeing Lucifer was becoming more of a regular thing with him showing up everywhere. I turned to the side table and glanced at the clock. '8:45'. Dean had gone out for food and in his absence, I hoped that I could at least lie down for an hour without being questioned about my mental and physical state.

Peeling back the covers, I got out of bed and walked through into the bathroom before closing the door behind me trying to keep Lucifer out.

"Oh, Sam..." He spoke before appearing just behind me. "You can't get rid of me that easily." He smirked.

I pushed down on the wound on my hand, enduring the pain in the hope that Lucifer would just vanish...but he didn't.

Lucifer shook his head. "That doesn't seem to be working."

Grabbing a knife, I traced the blade along my arm drawing a line of blood which spilled out of the cut and coloured my arm dark red.

Lucifer began to flicker, but didn't disappear. "It's gonna' take a lot more than that!"

Cutting away at the skin, the pain began to intensify until he eventually poofed away. By now though, I had lost a lot of blood, and I felt woozy. Despite this, the pain felt good...It felt, relieving.

"Sammy!" Shouted Dean as he banged on the door. "I forgot my key."

'Shit!' Quickly turning on the tap, I dunked my arm underneath the flow of water causing me to wince in pain as the cold liquid entered the cuts. I then used the towel to dry off my arm, washed away the blood in the sink and pulled on a long sleeve t shirt to hide the cuts before opening the door to Dean.

"What took you so long?" He asked, walking inside and dumping the food bag down on the table.


I did this for a week or two, changing arms each day. Cutting deeper and deeper as my hallucinations worsened, I was spurred on by the wonderful feeling that accompanied the pain. It took away all of the crap in my life and replaced with a floating sensation.

Sat at the little wooden table, I could see Dean examining me.

I could barely keep my eyes open due to lack of sleep. Pushing the food in the tray around with my plastic fork, I hadn't eaten anything.

"Are you okay, dude?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine." I'm not fine, please help me.

"You don't look so good."

"I'm just tired." I can't take this anymore.

"You haven't touched your food."

"I'm not really hungry." I'm starving.

"Are you cold?"

"No." I just don't want you to see the scars.

Dean obviously didn't believe me.

"Can you stop with the 20 questions!" I stated.

"What's wrong with you?" Dean's tone surprisingly showed no anger.

"Nothing, just leave me alone." Please don't leave me with him. Show me that you care enough to stay.


I lowered my head.


I looked up at him and caught his gaze.

"Is it Lucifer?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Sammy?" Dean asked softly.

I sighed before nodding.

"I thought you said it was better."

"It is better." It's never been so bad.

"Sam?" He was trying to get an answer out of me.

"It is."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I said I'm fine." I want to die.

Pushing away the tray of chips, I got up from the chair and walked off.

Stood in front of the bathroom mirror, I held the knife in my hand. Pushing up the sleeve of my shirt, I tried to block out Lucifer's constant chatter. With the knife, I sliced away at the flesh showing no mercy.

"Sammy!" A voice, which belonged to Dean shouted.

I jumped in shock at the sound of him approaching the motel room causing my hand to slip and the knife to cut deeper than I'd ever cut before creating a dangerously deep wound on the top of my arm. I winced in pain. "Ahh!" The world began to spin around me as I saw the blood pouring down my arm. I stumbled forwards, causing me to have to reach out my other arm and grip the wall for support. My eyelids began to flicker before I saw black spots in my vision. After that, every went dark.

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