"Sammy!...Sammy!..." I heard someone scream; ripping me out of the darkness and back into the light. Flickering my eyelids open slightly, Dean's green eyes immediately fixed on mine. He looked dangerously close to tears.
I could tell that I was lying on the cold tile floor of the bathroom, I was then able to infer that I must have collapsed.
"Sammy!" Dean called once again. "What the hell?"
My heart sank. Dean looked so petrified as he held me in his arms. "I thought it would all go away...I thought it would make him go away..." I stated weakly.
Dean sighed before pulling me closer into a protective embrace, his hand supporting my head. I could hear his heavy, scared breathing."Why didn't you tell me all of this was going on in your grapefruit?" He asked. "I could have helped you."
"How, D'n?" I asked pulling away slightly so that I was looking directly at him. "There is nothing you could have done, so please, don't beat yourself up about it."
"You could have died, Sam." He stated. "What were you thinking?"
I glanced at my arms. Dean had tightly wrapped the motel towels around them to staunch the bleeding. "I was thinking that if I caused myself enough pain, he would go away."
Dean's eyes widened upon realisation that I was still keeping some of the details from him. Although it was obvious that he was angry, he looked more hurt by the fact I hadn't told him any of this. "How long have you been doing this?" He asked in a soft tone.
"About a month..." I answered, lowering my head.
"But why cut yourself, what about the cut on your hand?"
"That stopped working weeks ago." I stated. "I was just cutting a little bit a day, just enough to make him disappear." I noticed the look on his face. "I know what you're thinking, but I wasn't trying to kill myself. Today...the knife slipped and I cut too deep."
"We'll find a way to help you, Sam." Dean stated softly.
I sighed, my head lowered.
"Hey..." Dean placed his hands on my cheeks and lifted my head so that I was looking at him. "We will help you."
I nodded. "Thanks, Dean."
"You're welcome, Sammy."