The man who stood at the foot of the bed was a stranger.
An older man in a suit that really looked outdated and Ianto should know, his father was a master tailor ya ….well, OK. Maybe his grandfather was and his dad only worked at Denhams but same diff, right?
The man had a sad, deflated look to him and Ianto wondered who he was. He didn't seem to be a threat, just sad.
"John, I asked you not to come into this room" Jack sounded angry and Ianto turned his face away, studying the wall.
"What happened to him?" John asked as he moved away.
"Workplace accident" Jack said as he pulled him from the room.
Tosh told him, he knew she would.
Ianto lay there thinking about it. Lost in a different time, no way of getting back to those you loved. Could do your head in, that.
It was Tosh who came with his next meal, an update that she had taken them to the shops. Ianto had laughed with her at their reaction to bananas.
Ianto likes bananas.
When Jack came in the night, the lights were low and Ianto smelt him before he felt the bed dip. Jack was crying, soft sobs as he burrowed into Ianto and Ianto wasn't sure what to do.
He was still angry about the cuddles but this seemed a different kind of sadness to what Jack usually transmitted. Something was wrong, really wrong and despite his own disappointments, Ianto felt his heart breaking with each sob.
He concentrated, holding him as hard as he could while sending as much love through their bond as he could.
Jack drifted off to sleep and Ianto relaxed.
He was glad their bond was strong again, he had missed the warmth of Jack in his mind.
What he hadn't counted on the nightmares.
Jack had been left behind. Oh god, Jack was abandoned in a place of death and sorrow. Oh, my love.
Ianto thought of Canary Warf and his own horrors, the death and destruction around him and saw the similarities. Except, Jack had been brave. So brave until the last. He had died, really died to save his friends whereas … well. Ianto had hid, then tried to escape with Lisa.
Ianto was confused that Jack had faced Darleks, they were bastards and Ianto had been so afraid when they made their appearance. He knew it was a dream though, Jack was so happy and then so bereft. No one would really leave Jack behind. Would they?
When Jack woke it was to find Ianto watching him silently, fingers stroking his face.
"Hey baby" Jack croaked, feeling the aftereffects of the carbon monoxide. "John didn't make it"
"No" Ianto agreed sadly, "Not all of us do."
"Did you eat?" Jack changed the subject and Ianto accepted it.
"I need to toilet, if it's OK" Ianto said and Jack rose, carrying Ianto into the bathroom.
"Can I have a shower?" Ianto prodded, "I'm feeling sticky. You need one too."
"I do?" Jack raised an eyebrow with surprise.
"You smell of death Cariad" Ianto told him, "You smell of his despair. You need to wash it off so it doesn't make you sad too."
Jack soon had them both naked and under the water, carefully washing his boy. When done, Jack stood to wash his hair and Ianto looked up at him.
"I miss you" he whispered and Jack looked down at him with surprise.
"I'm right here darling" he said with confusion.
"I miss your hands on my dick, I miss your dick inside me and I miss feeling …." Ianto waved his hand, then sighed and shrugged. "Never mind. You're right."
Jacks arms had dropped and he watched Ianto with open shock.
"This is me now." Ianto muttered, "Noting sexy about me. God, you still have to wipe my bum for me, no wonder it's not attractive to you."
"Ianto" Jack murmured as he crouched by the shower chair. "Oh Ianto."
"I'm not a child ya know" Ianto looked up and met his gaze, "I am still in here. I am still here. I might not have piles of dust around me but I am still here, alone and cold."
"Oh Ianto" Jack reached out and touched his cheek.
"I miss us." Ianto whined, "I didn't use you, I didn't have sex with you as a distraction. You were the distraction that I hid from her. She never knew that I loved you or she might have blown earlier … I … I mean … I'm sorry I hurt you. You were my only act of rebellion ya know."
"Ianto, I never thought you used me" Jack assured him as he moved closer to hold him, the water cascading over them both.
"I loved you" Ianto whispered and Jack groaned as he held him.
"Oh Ianto" Jack sighed speaking so softly that Ianto almost didn't catch it under the cascade of water, "I loved you too."