I feel fine

By Joanne Jones

Scifi / Horror

Chapter 3

Ianto snuffled and shifted in his sleep and Jack slid into the space he had vacated. When Ianto rolled back he was awake.

"Tell me Cariad," he whispered snuggling into his chest so his voice was muffled, "how did you drop it in?"

Jack snorted and gently rubbed Ianto's back.

"Gwen was the distraction." Jack said finally but Ianto was already asleep again.


"Bloody hell Jack, how are we gonna get in there?" Gwen hissed, "Bloody tossers have it wrapped up tighter than one of Owen's stitches man!"

The Plas was covered in red caps. Jack's hack into the internal cameras showed them parading about the hub like they owned the bloody place. And the mess. Since it had been rebuilt at Her Majesty's insistence, it had been kept pristine.

Jack argued it was not because it hurt to think of Ianto disappointed in the mess but Gwen never called him on it. Look at the messy sods, never heard of a coaster?

"Well, you distract them and I'll slip in," Jack smiled with more confidence than he felt.

"Oh, Bollocks!" Gwen muttered to herself when she recognised the smile.

"Bollocks," she repeated as she followed him to the back of the SUV.

Jack was still trying to think of a good distraction as he opened the boot when a flash of green and orange flew from the back and into the storm drain by the vehicle's rear tyre.

"Buggery bollocks!" Gwen cried dropping to her knees.

"Oops?" Jack offered.

"Shiite!" Gwen exclaimed as the sound of a scream filtered up.

"Oh wow! Little bugger did it for us. Gwen it's in the Hub!" Jack chortled.

Gwen was still on her knees when the shot rang out. She rolled under the SUV and tucked herself up into the cavity Ianto had shown her once, told her a place to hide might save her life one day.

Bloody Ianto. Still looking out for me the love, she thought to herself sadly.

She tried to slow her breathing and not look at the blood creeping into the shade of the SUV. Shifting from red to almost black in the gutter like wine. Footsteps approached and she waited for the inevitable discovery.

She watched Jack's body as it was dragged away by his feet and after a few minutes she chanced a peek.

Clear.

She tried the dock entrance. Her stilettos sunk in the mud and she took her time to pick a clear patch. She thanked Ianto for his cleaning kit by the inner door. Wet wipes. Bless. Again Ianto had shown her, Lisa has been smuggled in this way. They probably didn't even know about the boat. So no dock entrance being guarded. Yep. Gotcha!

Using knowledge gained from playing hide and seek with Ianto while Jack was "Away" that time (not naked you dirty bastards) Gwen managed to sneak right into the Hub's highest levels. The gangplank Ianto used to feed Myfanwy from was clear of any traffic and she again wondered just how clever Unit thought they were if they didn't know the Hub's hidden flaws. They didn't know Ianto though! HA!

Several red caps were on their hands and knees looking under furniture furtively. Yep. Little bugger definitely here somewhere,

Jack had revived and was putting on a good show. She snuck along and caught his eye then as she looked down she caught a flash of colour and suddenly the bloody thing was on her boot. With a stifled scream of horror she kicked it … yeh. You guessed it. Right into the manipulator. Bloody Beauty!

Jack was shocked and maybe slightly turned on when he looked up and saw Gwen creeping along the gangplank. Her black stiletto boots were on tip-toes so she didn't get them caught in the grating and she looked magnificent. Her Bum really lifted with those tight black leggings and as for the low cut blouse, well. Bending in the crouching position like that made her look like a well-endowed Catwoman after the crown jewels.

When the Venulzian Dribble ran over her foot he had nearly shat himself. The kick was perfect and the resulting splat as it fell in was too good to be true.

Didn't work though. Pity. Good punt too.

The smell of the creature burning was so bad that Jack was able to slip away in the commotion and they met back at the SUV. Judging from the sounds of retching coming from down the drain they were all too busy throwing up to take chase.

"OK Batman, next?" Gwen said with her hand on her hips.

Why he burst out laughing she'll never know! Twat!


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