I feel fine

Chapter 4

Dawn was creeping across the river. From the underground bunker the tell-tale creaking of the vents aligning via the solar panelling woke Jack with a start.

Gods, he hadn't slept like that since … Ianto! Oh, Ianto! Jack brushed the hair off Ianto's face and proceeded to wake him with gentle chase kisses to his face.

"Mmmm, fuggof!" Ianto groaned rubbing his thigh against Jack's crotch, making him groan as well.

"Jack?" Suddenly Ianto was awake and his attempt to sit up woke his tired body. With a cry of pain he fell back into Jack's embrace.

"Careful Tigger, you had an eventful day yesterday my heart's love" Jack murmured.

Ianto sighed at the term of endearment and snuggled back into Jack.

"I can't believe I have you back." He crowed softly and Ianto couldn't help but smile at that bit is kismet.

After the Hub reclamation was a failure they fell back to Gwen's.

Jack was now fuming and Gwen felt it best to watch rather than help. Rhys agreed and kept stirring his pot like he was drilling for oil. After Jack threatening to tear his innards out if he was going to serve beans while roaring like a maniac, he felt the best plan was to make spag-boll.

They had tried several times to contact Torchwood 2 but Archie was not answering. Gwen was worried but Jack just kept saying he was probably ignoring them the old bugger.

The laptop sat open on the table with the torchwood symbol swirling around aimlessly, just like its leader.

"Hello? Captain Harkness?" a woman's cultured voice suddenly filled the kitchen.

"Sarah-Jane" Jack gasped throwing himself in front of the screen.

"Captain" she smiled with relief. "Mr Smith said he had found your VM near this IP address. We were just hoping … well."

"Yes lovely lady. So good to see you." Jack was in full smooch mode and Rhys' pretend gagging noises behind Jack were picked up by the mic.

"Who else it there?" she asked.

"Gwen, of course. Um, and her fella Rhys." Jack shrugged.

"Oi! Her husband ya bloody great girl's blouse!" Rhys bellowed.

"You know, he's right. I'm sorry this is Rhys Williams. Code name Slinky" Jack winked and Sarah-Jane's eyes twinkled with merriment.

"OK, I'll bite Captain. Why Slinky" she giggled.

"For my manly physique yet cunning ability to slink into enemy territory!" Rhys puffed while miming a creeping ninja at Gwen while trying not to kick the coffee table then yelping as he did anyway. Gwen covered her mouth and nodded even as her wide laughing eyes betrayed her.

"Nah, because he's not really good for much but bloody funny when ya push him down the stairs" Jack chortled and then yelped as Gwen loyally slapped the back of his head.

"Ooo, that must hurt!" a new voice joined the conversation.

"Doc?" Jack gasped.

"Ah, no Jack. My one" suddenly Rose filled the screen and Jack rose from his seat as though he could hug her through the device.

"Rose, by any other name … Ms Rose Tyler, dancer extraordinaire" he whispered.

"Rose Smythe now actually. Wifey of John Sim Smythe." The doctor-sim cocked his head and smiled. "So she is a Rose of another name and believe me Captain Jack, she smells fine!"

"Wow! You're joking!" Jack gasped with glee.

"Look, I can't come over … preggers ..."Jack's whoop drowned out the rest of her speech and she waited patiently for him to stop before continuing.

"I'm preggers and of course John would cause a paradox so we're sending a task force to try and help." Rose continued.

"Well, one at your location and another will touch down in London." John finished for her.

"OK, send one to my co-ordinates and … well canary Warf I guess. That site would have the highest concentration of vortex energy so easiest to lock onto." Jack frowned as he started to make notes on a pad in front of him.

"Good, well. Standby and … Jack?" the sim called, "Be calm and soldier on or at least don't kill too many people, yeah?"

"The rift is bleeding." Jack warned him. "After two years of silence it's rumbling again. Gotta be linked, right?"

"What kind of rumbling?" Sim was frowning now and jack felt a pull at his soul.

"Larggette, packs of them. Also several un-registered visitors creeping about," Jack frowned.

"Not good!" Sim frowned. "Good luck."

The screen went dark and Jack barely had time to reach for the laptop before his hair started to rise on the back of his neck.

Realising what was happening Jack stood and pushed the table hard then yelled at Rhys and Gwen to hug a wall.

With a crackle and pop several things happened at once.

Rhys fell over the coffee table and pulled Gwen onto the ground then rolled on top of her. Jack hit the wall so hard he made a hole the size of his elbow in the plaster board. And last but not least, five people appeared in the middle of the room.

"Fuck, that bloody hurts!" came a cockney yodel as a woman with a long blond ponytail fell to her knees and into Jack's arms.

After a moment they seemed to shake it off and began to dump the gear they had been carrying. Jack recognised the jump buttons on their chests and stepped forward.

"Captain Jack Harkness. Welcome to my reality" he said as calmly and commandingly as he could.

It was a small man who pushed past her to take Jack's outstretched hand.

"Owen. Owen Harper" His hand entered Jack's and pumped it several times before dropping it and turning back towards the team.

"Well? We all got our bits? Yes. Then stop bloody moaning!" he barked.

"Owen?" Gwen breathed stepping closer.

"Not our Owen Gwen. This is "Pete World" Owen" Jack warned her.

Owen 2 or Not-Owen as Jack had already mentally named him, turned and regarded Jack with a familiar tip of his head. Then he smiled and resembled the tart doctor not a jot.

"Captain. I've heard a lot about you, I'm the team …" he started forward.

"Medic?" Gwen asked softly.

"What? Medic? Me? Hahahahhaha! No way, too much work there sweetheart" he snorted, "Nah, I'm the ordinance man."

"Ah!" Jack grinned, "Mr Boom Bam-tastic!"

"Oooo, I like that one! Susan, make a note!" He chortled.

The familiar face of Suzie swung into view and she nodded, opened an imaginary pad and wrote in the air with an imaginary pen. Pretended to shut the pad and put it in her pocket.

"Ifan? You there buddy?" he roared into an ancient looking walkie-talkie and the welsh tones of Ianto Jones came through.

"Yes Owen. Note to you tho, you don't need to shout. These are old, not deaf!" he barked metallically at Owen.

"Bloody hell man, keep ya shirt on!" he roared again and the tall blonde giggled quietly to herself.

"Just ignore them, Owen and Ifan have a love hate relationship" Suzie shrugged at them.

"Yeah!" A dark skinned man sorted, "They love to hate each other! Ever since Owen tried to pick up his missus!"

"Hey, how the fuck was I supposed to know your sister was hooked up with solider-boy?" Owen snarked.

"Lisa is not my sister. God, I hate how you do that. Not all black people are brothers and sisters you jumped up little …" the man started and a noise form the blond stopped him.

OK, not my Ianto and the blonde is in charge, Jack noted.

"So. Where do we start?" not-Owen asked Jack while looking around the room.

"Hello Freckles" he smiled at Gwen then frowned as Rhys glowered at him.

"Ooo, this must be Agent Slinky!" Not-Owen grinned at Rhys and Jack snorted while side-stepping Gwen's swing.

"So, Ifan? Who else at site two?" Jack began to ask but a rumbling stopped the conversation.

"Shit! They're opening it again," Jack yelled as they were thrown to the floor.

"Ifan! Ifan, come back!" Not-Owen yelled into the box.

"No. Ifan's ... god … Ifan's gone" came back the reply, "we're … debris …..Ribbon like …larggette packs …..no, not …. Kramer look behind …"

Screaming. Blood curdling screams punctuated with gun shots. The screaming was finally cut off and snarling filled the room for a few moments before everything went silent.

"Shit!" Not-Owen said softly.

"Well, that's London then!" Not-Suzie said mater of factly.

"No. She said gone, not dead. His mission was to break from the rest and start placing his charges." Not-Owen said to the room at large, "Until I hear otherwise I would bet money on that boy completing his mission."

"I concur!" the blond spoke and turned to Jack.

"The rift is centred in London, we need to get there. First though, your hub!" she said.

Jack grinned as he watched them load up. Well, job to do then.

"Well Cat-woman, Slinky. Let's go!" Jack crowed storming from the room.

"Don't tell me, he's gone all bloody batman again isn't he the twat!" Rhys boomed as the spag-boll sauce finally boiled over.

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