Jack nervously opened the door to his house and stepped aside as the lumbering Myfanwy beastie pushed her way past him and into the house.
"Fanny! Bad doggie!" Walter growled as he wriggled from Ianto's arms, eager to see the house himself.
Ianto plonked him onto his feet and he took off running after his dog with a whoop of glee.
"Are you sure this is alright? I mean, this is your home," Ianto said as something in the other room tumbled to the floor with a loud crash. "Shit, that sounded expensive!"
A black ball of fluff tore past with Myfanwy hot in pursuit. The dog met the doorframe to the hallway with a resounding thud. Now Jack swore.
"Janet, not the door, the cat flap is still-" a loud thump announced that Janet now knew the rest of the sentence as Jack finished it- "closed after your fight with Ginger last night."
Ianto's giggle was infectious and Walter followed the sound to find Ianto and Jack holding each other as they howled with laughter.
Janet had decided that the stupid monster couldn't jump, so she sat spitting delicately from the sideboard as the maidenhair fern perched precariously on the edge of the shelf.
Walter stood with his hands on his little hips and gave his best "Tadda" glare at the two animals and gave a very Ianto-like huff of annoyance, which only made the two men howl harder.
"Jack, I think I'm gonna wet myself," Ianto sobbed, and Walter turned and glared at them both.
"Well, you two are no help!" Walter growled. "Fanny is gonna get pussy!"
The cat proved the reverse of the sentence as she pushed the fern off the shelf so it hit Myfanwy on the head and Myfanwy roared at the cat as Janet flicked her fuzzed out tail.
"No! Oh God, Jack, help me!" Ianto shrieked with laughter. "Where the hell is the toilet?"
Rhiannon had been shocked when she'd entered the large, expensive house that was twice the size of Ianto's home.
It would be days before they could salvage anything but she had seen the damage from last night's fire from the gate. There would be very little they would be able to save. Smoke damage and the foam pumped in through the roof had collapsed the ceilings and it was such a mess that she despaired at the thought of Ianto's reaction when he saw his immaculate home in ruins.
The only positive she could see was the fact that it had pushed the two men beyond the awkward threshold of their relationship. Constant touches and looks and Jack's attentive fussing over Ianto and Walter calmed any fear she had harboured about their relationship.
She hadn't introduced Jack to her kids for fear that he wouldn't last, but now she was sure Ianto was gone, hook, line and sinker.
Walter was sitting in the living room on Ianto's lap watching the biggest TV screen she had ever seen.
Ianto was in a pair of too big PJs that must be Jack's, and Walter had on a brand new pair of fireman PJs that Jack had hurriedly purchased before collecting his two precious loves from the hospital.
It seemed Walter remembered much of last night, especially those cool hoses pumping water over the naughty fire.
The spoon of ice-cream was poised halfway to Walter's mouth as the dog on the screen turned to talk to the orange cat.
"See, Tadda? If we paint pussy orange Fanny will be her friend like Milo and Otis." Walter pointed at the screen with his spoon. The ice-cream slid off the spoon and landed on the floor, much to Myfanwy's delight.
"The cat is called Janet, bug, and please use Myfanwy's full name or Tadda will have to go to the toilet again," Ianto said distractedly as he frowned at the dog, who was licking the floor.
"Walter, please don't feed the monster," Jack sighed as he followed Rhiannon into the room.
"But Daddy, she's a growing girl!" he retorted, looking back to the screen.
Ianto snorted at the logic as Rhiannon's mouth fell open. Daddy?
"No, she will be a fat girl and a fat Myfanwy can't eat bad men if she can't chase them, snot!" Jack shot back, and Walter narrowed his eyes as he thought that one through.
"And pussy? A fat pussy can't get bad men either!" Walter finally declared.
"Depends on what she charges," Rhiannon said with glee as Ianto's eyes widened and his hand shot out to cover Wally's mouth.
"Bad Rhi-rhi!" Ianto hissed, and she giggled at Jack's eye roll that was a poor imitation of Ianto's.
"Daddy? Are there really bad men?" Walter said quietly, and Jack groaned at his choice of words.
"There are men who try to be bad but that's why there are policemen like me to stop them," Jack soothed the tot whose eyes stared him down. "Myfanwy was a police dog. She was a police officer too. Even has her own badge number."
Walter slid from the sofa to sit next to the dog who had stopped licking the floor and started on her own foot.
"My brave girl!" Walter kissed his dog's head as Ianto grimaced and thought of all the germs his son was picking up.