Jack entered the house with a weary sigh.
It had been a long day and he was absolutely dog tired. They were working on another drug case and he hated those with a passion. After a day spent trolling through filthy flea infested drug dens, all he wanted was a good meal and a hot shower.
As Jack wandered down the hallway he was unbuttoning his shirt, already thinking of that shower. Entering the bedroom, he found chaos.
Walter was sitting on the floor surrounded by confetti. Jack swore quietly as he recognised the colours of the papers Walter had been tearing up. The yellow middle slip of his warrant pad stuck to Walter's bare arse as he rose to meet him and was not as funny as you might think, considering the paper was stuck there by his hair cream.
Very expensive hair cream that was smeared over the mirror and vanity unit in the bathroom. Hair cream that was walked through the shag pile carpet in the bedroom, and apparently Walter's hair needed enough to make a shiny, slippery helmet.
"IANTO!" Jack roared as he slipped through the bathroom to reach the running tap in the hand basin. Thank god he didn't put the plug in.
"Wha…" Ianto sat up in bed and stared blearily about.
"Ianto?" Jack repeated, approaching the bed and then sitting by Ianto.
Jack looked into his face and his blood boiled. Reaching past the sleepy man, Jack snatched the bottle of pills and shook it.
"Ianto, how many of these did you take?" Jack shook the bottle in his face.
"Oh, bugger off. My chest is killing me, I just needed some sleep." Ianto groaned as he flopped back in the bed.
"Ianto, did you see what your son did while he was uncared for?" Jack demanded before his brain fart filter kicked in and he realised the words he had chosen.
"I bed your fucking pardon?" Ianto rose from the bed like a vampire from its crypt, bolt upright and scary.
"I didn't mean that the way … Ianto, for god's sake," Jack moaned as Ianto flung the covers back, revealing his naked glory.
"Fuck you!" Ianto spat as he grabbed a pair of nearby jeans and shoved his feet into them. Jack was so surprised he didn't even tell Ianto they were his.
"Shit! How many time have I told you to put your shit away, he's going to copy you!" Ianto picked up his son with a wrinkled nose. "Look at this mess!"
As Jack stood there gaping at Ianto, he pulled one of Jack's t-shirts out of the laundry basket and rubbed his son's head.
"Ianto, I've had enough." Jack reached for Walter and Ianto pulled him back.
"Have you now?" Ianto huffed. "Or do you really mean to complain that you're not getting any?"
"Ianto, I know you're still hurting and in pain. I was happy to wait." Jack faced palmed. "I will wait for you to be ready."
"Really?" Ianto said quietly as he stepped forward, and Jack hoped for a kiss.
"Here, then. Clean while you wait!" Ianto slapped the yellow paper from his son's bum into Jack's hand and spun around to exit the room.
Jack finally found the energy to follow Ianto and found him in the garage, clipping a lead onto Myfanwy.
"Ianto, Walter is naked" Jack reminded him.
"Fuck off!" Ianto stormed out of the garage and stopped, then turned and returned to the garage.
Eyeballing Jack, he snatched up the jacket lying on the counter and proceeded to wrap Walter in it, then turned on his heel and repeated the storm out part. Myfanwy was waiting for Jack and turned to see why he wasn't following; Ianto got tangled in her lead and swore again.
Jack rushed forward and caught him as he began to tumble forward, and wound up with an armful of Walter, who grabbed him around the neck and refused to let go.
"Fine! Have him. Apparently I don't care for him!" Ianto snarled, then proceeded with Operation Storm Off Mark III.
Jack stood holding the child in total shock as he heard his bed mate burst into tears out at the letterbox.
Jack looked down at the boy in his arms, who was giggling uncontrollably at the expression on his face.
"Well I don't know about you, bug, but I think Tadda's a little bit loopy." Jack shook his head.