Owen had become worse than the girls, fussing every time Ianto sighed, moaned and rubbed the front of himself.
Keeping a silent tally in his head, Owen noted the third sigh in as many minutes and looked at Jack for a reaction. Jack was busy going over a file with Gwen and hadn't noticed his partner's melancholy mood.
"OK there, buddy?" he tried the soft approach remembering last week's blow up at everyone for smothering him.
"None of my tailored suits fit anymore." Ianto's eyes were wide and horrified. "I'm fat!"
Owen tried to come up with an appropriate response as Jack finally looked down the table at them. He noted Owen's hand on Ianto's arm and his face turned up toward Ianto. Ianto's eyes were huge, bigger than Gwen's even and the first tears were obviously about to escape.
"No Mate. You're not fat. You look …" Owen struggled, "overdressed, is all!"
"Overdressed?" Ianto frowned, tilting his head.
"Yeah. Yeah, you need some baggy clothes for when you wanna slob about, ya know?" Owen realised his mistake as soon as it was past his lips and cringed as the tear rolled down Ianto's cheek.
"Slob? SLOB? I'M A SLOB?" Ianto shrieked.
Fuck! Tosh and Gwen moved quicker than Jack to reach Ianto, cooing and praising his appearance.
"No, not a slob, but you are getting uncomfortable. Wouldn't it be nice to lay on the sofa and let us fuss on you sometimes?" Tosh asked rubbing his back with a glare at Owen.
"You're gorgeous Ianto, always are honey" Gwen added. "I think your bump looks sooo cute!"
"Really?" Ianto rubbed his eyes and stared at Jack across the table. "Am I cute?
"Cute? Nah! Sexy!" Jack smiled, kissing Ianto through the framework of feminine limbs.
"Am not! I'm fat!" Ianto sighed with a smile, warming to the game.
"Nah, hot." Jack countered with another quick kiss.
Gwen took Ianto's face and softly kissed him on the lips. "If you weren't taken I'd trade in Rhys for this hot sexy model in a minute."
Ianto stopped sniffling and stared at Gwen, then grabbed her in a hug that included a thorough snog.
Jack pulled her from his arms with a shout of surprise and Ianto shifted to his arms instead, a growling slam of a kiss that involved roving hands.
"Wow" Gwen gasped as Tosh pulled her from the room.
"Yeah! Remember that talk Owen had with us about hormones and mood swings?" Tosh muttered as Gwen grabbed for the doorframe. She caught one last glimpse of Ianto's hand sliding into Jack's trousers to cup his butt before her fingers slipped.
Jack lifted Ianto so he was sitting on the conference table with Jack standing between his legs. Their kisses became long and probing, as did their hands. Ianto's tie dropped, followed by the purple shirt he had found still fit. They were frantically pulling at each other's belt buckles when Owen finally got past them and shut the door with a sigh of relief.
"What if we got him some maternity clothes?" Gwen asked trying to be practical, "Surely they make work suits for working women and stuff?"
Tosh nodded and they spent the next hour surfing the net for maternity clothes that were masculine enough to please Ianto.
The next day the parcels started arriving. Gwen had volunteered for shop duty claiming Ianto needed to sort out the archives Owen had been loose in overnight. Owen had enjoyed adding a little authenticity to that claim but wondered if he had overdone the effect, Ianto's scream able to be heard echoing up through the levels.
Jack had, of course, run to comfort him leaving the three musketeers to their plans.
By the time a hyperventilating Ianto was led up from the archives in Jack's arms they were ready. Owen knew he had overdone it a bit though when he saw the shocked expression on Ianto's face.
They got to the passageway that led to the main Hub only to be stopped by the three teammates.
"Sorry Tea-boy, this is for your own good!" Owen deadpanned; pulling them into the room he's stopped them outside of.
The walls were yellow. Now buttercups yellow, more of a soft lit creamy yellow with white trim. The bed was huge. I mean, HUGE. The cover was rich oranges and yellows with gold thread. There were at least eight pillows piled on top with multi coloured cushions as well.
A crib sat against the wall, by on side of the bed with a change table and cream sheepskin on the floor.
Ianto stood silently then burst into tears. Gwen and Tosh clucked and pulled him over to the bed where packages were piled up.
"Hope you like them" Tosh murmured, pushing them toward him.
Ianto unpacked clothes. Suits made of stretchy fabric and even soft pyjamas that seemed to grow as you pulled on them. Ianto burst into happy tears and hugged the girls in a rare display of affection that they knew they might not see again.
Jack fingered a red silky nightshirt and quietly handed it to Ianto.
"Ooo, pretty" he cooed with delight, rubbing his face in the material.
Owen grinned with pleasure, he had chosen that one and Jack looked at him with silent recognition of his smile.
The knowledge that they were all looking after Ianto filled Jack with such happiness. They were so close, so attuned to each other.
"A real family" he said aloud.
Ianto started, then looked up at his lover. One hand was on the expanding waistline that had upset him and he reached the other one for Jack to take.
"Yeah, a real family Jack. All of us." Ianto smiled. "Uncle Owen and Auntie Gwen and Aunty Tosh and Daddy Jack and Taddy Ianto. And Little Bump Harkness-Jones. One big wonderful family."
"Yeah, we are aren't we" Jack smiled.
"All mine!" Ianto sighed with delight looking at his friends and the response from the women made Owen pretend gag at the sweetness.
"Names? Can't really be Bump ya know" Gwen asked, folding some packing paper on her lap.
"Don't know. We've not really talked about it. I kinda like Miller." Ianto shrugged.
"Miller? Really?" Jack smiled.
"Yeah. Rose for a girl" Ianto smiled softly knowing he had won that one for sure.
"Yeah. Rosie. Nice." Owen nodded, unaware of the significance of the name.
Jack sighed and looked at his lover more intensely and saw the fatigue showing. With a flap of his hands he ushered them from the room. Telling them they were about to christen the bed was enough to make Owen shriek louder than the girls as they ran for their lives.
Ianto laughed softly as he crawled into the pillows and groaned with delight at the soft downy softness that swallowed him.
Jack smiled and pulled the cover up, covering his lover who was already snuggling down for sleep. Removing his braces and boots, Jack climbed behind him to spoon him in a loving cuddle. The soft warmth lulled them both and Jack reached down to cup Bump as they drifted off.
"Am I really still sexy Cariad?" Ianto muttered into the pillows.
"Always. Just the thought of you naked is instant Viagra to me babe" Jack murmured back snuggling closer until then were both buried in the nest of warmth.
"I'm still fat!" Ianto answered faintly as sleep took him.