Chapter 1 - Therapy sessions and what ifs!
'Emily help... Help me... Please save me' the young woman screamed. 'Please save me Emily, he's a monster and he wants to kill me' the young woman cried, she looked about 19 'please try to find me...' She begged. 'Why have you not tried to look for me yet? Please look for me before I'm dead, I have so many questions, I need the answers to and I just want to talk to you'
When Emily looked into her eyes, all she saw was pain, fear and hurt 'don't you know who I am? I thought you wanted me... Why did you give me away?' The woman asked, with tears in her eyes. 'She told me you loved me but also that you weren't sorry, I don't know what to believe Emily'
'I don't know where I am Emily and I'm scared, please help me, it's dark. If you try to find me... When you look in my room, there's a secret box with a teddy bear inside, it will help you...' She told her.
'Emily why don't you recognise me? Why don't you know who I am? Do I mean anything to you? Oh my god Emily he's here, he's coming to hurt me again, help me!'
She sat up in bed breathing heavily! 'I promise to try to find you I promise that!' it was dark in the room and she could just about see the moon shining through her red curtains. She sees enough of the color red, blood at the crime scenes, red was the color of love, blood and anger, she was going to change her curtains, she didn't like them anymore.
Emily once again, woke up with a bad feeling that morning after having too little sleep that night and another horrible nightmare.
Getting out of bed, she went downstairs to make a cup of coffee, knowing she wasn't going back to sleep anymore, she needed to do something that would help her sleep at night, even if it was a sleeping pill. The only thing she knew was that she had to get some sleep, otherwise she would snap!
Once she got to work, she saw it was quiet again. Hotch was in his office, doing paper work and she knocked on his door and entered when he said come in.
'Hey, Hotch we're doing paper work today right? No important cases or meetings?' Emily asked, almost desperately straight away.
Hotch frowned and asked Emily to sit down. She did and he looked at her carefully trying to read her. 'No meetings or cases unless we get one. Why?'
'Don't profile me Hotch!' Emily said getting slightly annoyed. He looked at her again and then she sighed. 'I just saw my therapist and I need to speak to her. She said she was free and that we could…' Hotch interrupted her by nodding his head.
'Of course, go have your meeting… and Emily?' Hotch said, waiting for her to turn around and look at him. She did and Hotch continued 'if you need anything just come and talk to me okay! Good luck' Hotch ended with a slight smile and she nodded saying thank you, smiling back.
She took a deep breath before knocking and entering.
'Hello Emily, come in, take a seat' Dr Jones said with a welcoming smile. 'So what did you come to see me about?' Dr Jones asked when Emily sat down.
Emily sighed and started picking her nails 'I don't know where to start' she said instead. Her therapist told her to start from the beginning so she took a deep breath and said 'okay this is going to sound stupid and creepy but…' Dr Jones waited patiently for her to carry on. 'I've been having these dreams for a couple of weeks now and they're of this young woman…' she shook her head and took another deep breath 'she looks like me…' Emily stopped.
'She looks like you?' her therapist, Lisa asked and she nodded 'do you want to explain?' she asked and Emily just stayed quiet. 'It's okay to talk about it, your doing well… carry on… if you don't tell me then I can't help you' Lisa said softly, trying to encourage her to carry on.
'She reminds me of me a lot, it's kind of scary. She looks like I did like 15 years ago or something…' she said quietly. 'She looks like she could be my daughter'
'Okay, tell me what happens in your dream. It could just be you 15 years ago…' Lisa saw Emily shake her head adamantly.
'No it's not me, I know that because I didn't do anything, like work in a clothes shop 15 years ago. It seemed so real…' Emily sighed. 'She even called me mum once?... I'm so confused' she frowned. 'And this morning she kept asking why I didn't know her or recognise her'
'Has this got anything to do with your past?' she got her answer when she saw Emily close her eyes. 'What happened?' She asked softly.
She stayed silent for a minute or so, figuring out whether she should tell her therapist. 'You won't tell anyone? Not even Hotch?' she saw her therapist hesitate then nod her head 'when I was 15 I… um I got pregnant…'
'What happened?' Lisa asked, surprised but not being judgmental.
'I gave birth to a baby girl…' Emily smiled sadly. 'I held her for a little while and fed her you know, things that a mother would do…' Emily took a deep breath and then said 'I was tired after obviously so I fell asleep and… when I woke up I asked Mother where she was and she told me she was… dead…' Emily coughed, choking on her tears.
'Emily, I'm sorry… so you're dreaming of your daughter, that's understandable. I mean…'
Emily shook her head. 'No it's not just that, around 2 days ago my dream changed, it was different. She got taken by an UNSUB but I can't see his face. It felt real and it gave me a really bad feeling, I had it all day for like a week before the nightmares where she got taken started and I still have this bad feeling now. It just won't go away and I don't know what to do with it'
'Have you spoken to your mother about these dreams?' seeing Emily shake her head no she said 'maybe you should… if these dreams feel as real as you say they do, then maybe these things did happen and your daughter is alive… how old would she be?' Lisa asked softly.
'19… what would I say to mother? She'd think I'm crazy… what if she's been lying to me all these years? I mean I've thought about my daughter everyday…' she said, tears in her eyes. 'I have a picture…'
'It is a possibility and if it is true… you have to talk to her…' Lisa said. 'May I see the picture?' she asked.
'I don't know if I could ever deal with that… I obviously wish it was true in some way, that she was alive but not what happened in my dream, getting taken… I don't know I just have a gut feeling or instinct she is… I don't know why and I don't know what to do with it or what I should feel?' Emily questioned, a slight smile on her face, a bit of hope rising in her. Emily nodded her head and then got out a picture she had of her and her baby daughter.
'What if it is true and she doesn't even want to know me…' Emily said, looking down.
'Let's deal with that if it comes to it which it probably won't…' Lisa said and then looked at the picture 'it's beautiful' she smiled.
'I just need to know if… if it is true and I see her… I just need to know if whoever had her looked after her and treated her right' Emily said. 'Thank you' she said and took it back, holding the picture.
'I understand, Emily but these are what ifs, I need you to talk to your mother first… as soon as possible' the therapist said.
Emily nodded her head quietly.
She felt ill so she excused herself, running to the bathroom to be sick.
She came back 10 minutes later, looking pale and said she wanted to end the session; Lisa understood and asked her to book another appointment, Emily agreed and thanked her before leaving to book another one.
She walked into the bullpen, sitting down at her desk trying to start her paperwork but she was distracted.
Her daughter could be alive. The thought wouldn't leave her mind.
She got interrupted when she heard JJ call her name telling her they had a case.
Emily sighed and said she would be there in a minute. Emily texted her mother and said 'we need to talk, I will call you, it's important'
She got up and went to meet the others where JJ started the briefing.
Emily was having a bad day and she really hoped it wouldn't get any worse...