Sam stood watching as his father's body burnt on the funeral pyre. He thought back over the last six years and he felt something inside him crack. He had spent the first four of them so wrapped up in living his own life and pain that he had held on to the promise of never seeing or speaking to his father ever again, even after he had met Jess.
The part of him that had cracked at the thought of his father had now shattered at the thought of his Jess. His mind went back to one of the last things that his dad had said to him, 'You can't leave. You know what's out there.'
'But, I really didn't know what was out there,' Sam thought as he felt the old resentment rise a little, 'maybe, if you had told me what you knew about the yellow eyed demon I wouldn't have allowed myself to get so close to someone and Jess would still be alive. Maybe, I would have fought you a little less and understood you a little more. It wouldn't have kept me from going. I wanted normal and I was going to get. This doesn't make me any less of a man or even selfish, it just makes me who I am. I don't know dad, but maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't have lost all those years and each other.'
Sam took a shuddering breath and whispered out, "But, Les Jeux Sont Faits. The Game is Played and moves have been made. What's done is done and I can't change any of that. All I can do now is move forward. Take the lessons I have learned and finish this once and for all. I'm sorry for those wasted years, dad, I wish we could get them back; but, I know we can't.
For what it's worth I never truly hated you, even though at times I might have said I did and acted like I did. Despite everything we went through I know you never hated me either. I know that you loved me. We were just so much alike that we both couldn't see past our own noses. You were too busy trying to protect me, that you couldn't see you were pushing me away. And, I was so busy trying to be independent that I couldn't see how much it hurt you. But, don't worry dad, I see it now and I promise that I will finish what you started."
Sam felt his brother step up beside him and he brushed the tears from his cheeks. They watched his father's body burn and when the embers had finally cooled they walked back to the car in silence.
Sam settled into the passenger seat and took a look at his brother. The first lesson he was going to accept was that no matter what happened in his life he wasn't going to ever let as much time pass between him and those he cared about.