I have always been quite content with solitude. Something about being on my own has always appealed to me. I have always been independent, never relying on others to do things for me, not even as a child. Maybe it comes from having such a large family, of that I cannot be sure. In all of my seventeen years, being alone has never bothered me, not until now. I mean sure I have my cousins and my friends, but there has never really been somewhere that I just fit. I thought that once I got to Hogwarts things would be different but even the sorting hat had a hard time placing me somewhere. I must have set some sort of record that day back in first year, never have I heard of it taking over ten minutes for a student to be sorted, I ended up in Ravenclaw, just one more thing that made me completely different from the rest of my family.
Growing up with famous parents and a huge family is enough to drive any kid a little mad, perhaps that's where it comes from. I have always been different from my cousins and my brother. I was always the smart one, the responsible one, the one who acted way beyond her years, and I have always been kind of odd. I get along well enough with others, but I have always been sort of socially awkward, never really knowing how to act around large groups of people that I don't know. I tend to avoid situations like that, instead preferring to retreat to the library and read.
I have never really minded being alone, unattached, self-reliant, which is why I can't figure out why all of the sudden it was bothering me so bloody much. It seemed like everyone had someone. Albus had Katie Longbottom, his girlfriend of two years, Roxanne had Kyle, Louis had Claire, Molly had William, Lucy had Jacob, Lily had Derek, even Hugo, my little brother had a girlfriend, a sweet little Hufflepuff named Mackenzie Tyler, and then there was me. What did I have? I have never felt the need to have a boyfriend, so I don't know why all of the sudden I feel like I need one to be happy. I have a family that loves me, great friends, top of the year, Quidditch captain, prefect since fifth year and head girl to boot, along with my best friend Scorpius Malfoy as head boy.
Scorpius. The two of us have been best friends since day one when Al and I sat with him on the Hogwarts Express when we were eleven. My dad had told me to stay away from him, so naturally, when I saw him sitting alone on the train, I sought him out and became his friend. He is the only person that I have ever felt connected to, the only person who I have ever trusted. We clicked instantly, the moment we met I knew we were destined to be best friends. Over the course of the past year however, things have changed. Scorpius got himself a girlfriend, just like everyone else. Ever since Chloe came into the picture in January of sixth year, I felt as though we were drifting apart, like I was losing my best friend. I couldn't honestly tell you what the boy sees in her, she's ditzy and annoying, she laughs too much and calls him Scorpy, a nickname which he absolutely hates, especially when she says it in her cutesy baby voice that makes me want to gag. He could do so much better then her. He deserves some one smart and witty who understands him, who loves him for who he is, for what he's like, for showing everyone that old prejudices are irrelevant and that past actions only influence you as a person if you let them.
I admire my best friend for making everyone see that just because he was the son of Draco Malfoy, didn't mean that he was a bad person. He distinguished himself from the rest of his family and I love him for it. But now there's Chloe. I barely see him anymore, which is probably where this sudden desire for companionship is coming from. For six and a half years he has been by my side, always there. Sure he's had girlfriends before, but this is different. Everytime I see them together, I get this unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. Lily thinks that I'm in love with him. She tells me that the reason his presence gives me butterflies, the reason I hate Chloe, who she assures me is a really nice girl, the reason the though of them together makes me sick is that I somehow managed to fall for my best friend.
I honestly hate that Lily is always right. I am a very logical girl, and even I know that it is really the only conclusion. I see the pair talking at the Slytherin table, he's been spending a lot of time there lately. He used to sit with me at the Ravenclaw table, but that was before her, now suddenly he felt the need to sit with his own house again.
I can't take this anymore, so I push away my plate and go up to my common room, just to try and escape the pain I feel seeing them together. I suppose that I could just tell him how I feel, but that would be pretty counterproductive seeing as he has a bloody girlfriend. I could see that going over well. "Hey Scorp how are you. I know you have a girlfriend but well I'm in love with you." Yeah that wouldn't destroy our friendship at all.
I let out a frustrated sigh before picking up a book from the table and beginning to read in an attempt to regain my pre-Scorpius love for solitude, but again I find myself failing at that particular task.
The portrait swung over and in comes the blonde boy himself. "Hey, Rosie, you okay?" He looks at me, eyes full of concern. Damn him for being so bloody caring. "You left dinner rather abruptly, is something bothering you?"
I look up at him, my hazel eyes locking with his soft grey ones. He had such beautiful eyes. "I'm fine Scorp." I said, trying to sound convincing, but I knew he wasn't buying it. Damn him for knowing me so well. "Seriously, I'm fine. Now, shouldn't you be off with your girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" He repeated.
"Yeah you know the blonde girl from Slytherin. Tall, thin, named Chloe?" I said sarcastically. He laughed.
"Chloe and I broke up two weeks ago." He tells me, and my heart drops. Why didn't he tell me?
"But at dinner…" I started
"She was giving me some much needed advice, we decided that we were better off as friends." I can feel my heart slowly cracking. Doesn't he trust me? We're supposed to be best friends.
"Oh? Why is that?"
"Well you see, I'm in love with someone else, only she figured it out before me." He states. "She was giving me some advice on what I should do about it. She's a lot smarter then she seems." My heart broke right then, I can't believe that he didn't come to me about this.
"Scorp." I say quietly. "You could have come to me. We're best friends, we're supposed to help each other with these things."
"Rose, you are the one person who I couldn't talk to about this." Ouch, okay that hurts. He smiles softly at me, and I'm very confused as to why.
"Why not? Don't you trust me?" I ask.
"With every fibre of my being Rosie. I trust you more then anything."
"Then why Scorp? Why couldn't you tell me?" My voice cracked, I can feel the tears behind my eyes as I plead with my best friend.
"I wasn't exactly sure how you would react." He tells me.
"Scorp, you know that I just want you to be happy, no matter who it is I'll accept it no questions asked. Please Scorp, why can't you just trust me with this." I feel a single tear making its way down my face as he takes a deep breath.
"I couldn't tell you Rosie, because… because the girl… she's… well she's you Rosie." He voice is so soft that I can just barely hear him. It takes a second for me to process what he's just told me, and I gasp. I look up at him, standing near the window looking scared out of his mind. I smile at him, a true genuine smile, and he returns it before crossing the room in two long strides gathering me in his arms kissing me as if his life depended on it. We are both breathless and grinning like idiots when we break apart.
"For the record Scorp, I love you too." She smiles at me again, he has such a beautiful smile, he needs to show it more often. I lean in and kiss him again, realizing that in this moment I am truly content. Solitude is so overrated.