Nothing Really Ends
I kept my promise to Dylan, I had told him I would watch over him and I did. Twice a year Gabriel would take me and we would check up on him. If it bothered Gabriel to take me to see someone I used to love he didn’t show it. He seemed to understand that I had gotten over it; the only one I was in love with now was Gabriel. He understood that Dylan had been a major part of my life before I died and that he was my best friend for practically my whole life before the Winchesters found me in that forest so long ago. We would stand outside his window or inside his house, even if that made us sound like stalkers. Gabriel used his angelic grace to conceal us; just like he had the first time I went to see him. He never saw me again though, that was a onetime thing. But every year on his birthday and on New Year’s we would stop by for a few minutes, watching as he lived his life. Occasionally when I was feeling sentimental (which happened more often than I would like to admit, so our yearly visits often went into the double digits) or whatever we would stop by a few other times on random occasions. We were there for important days to, like his wedding. Each time we stopped by he seemed to get a little happier, slowly getting over losing his best friend. He got married at thirty six to a petite dark haired girl a few years younger than him. She had a kind face and seemed to make him really happy so of course I approved. As long as he was happy it was good enough for me. A few years later they had kids. A twin boy and girl, who he named after his dead cousin and me. I was honored that he named his little girl after me of course, but it also made me a little sad. Even after all this time he still hasn't moved on completely. Even after all these years my death still pains him. Gabriel and I come back year after year and watched as his kids grew up and his hair grew streaked with grey. We watched as he met his grandchildren and played with them on the swing on his front porch. They lived long happy healthy lives, just like they were meant to. He lived to be ninety eight years old and it was a live well lived. A lot of people would have been envious of his life and would have wished it upon themselves. He was well loved by his wife and children and grandchildren. The friends we grew up with were still his friends, loyal to the very end, and as they all grew old they continued to visit him and play Bingo on Saturdays. I would roll my eyes at the stereotype, but at the same time I would be smiling. Their life was simple and happy; they all got what I had wanted in the beginning, to be innocent and unknowing of all the monsters and demons that walked this earth. It was a good life, long and normal. He never went after another ghost or monster, not since the day when we were young and foolish enough to go without proper training. But all good things must eventually come to an end. He now shared a headstone with his recently deceased wife, not too far from where mine is. It was a beautiful funeral. Not a particularly large crowd, just the people closest to him who would truly miss him. If he were there he would have liked it.
Now that he is in heaven I don’t stop by as often as I used to, I don’t feel the need to keep an eye on him anymore because I know he is safe now. But I still miss him occasionally so I still drop by for a few quick visits every now and again. I drop by to check up on him sometimes, even if there is really no need for me to do that anymore. Although now when I come by I am not always completely unseen. He might catch me peeking through the window or running down the hallway, but we never speak. Once when he caught me watching him with his friends and we shared a few seconds of eye contact before he smiled and turned away. Maybe I never did explain to him exactly what happened to cause my death or after I died, but I know from that smile he knows I am doing what needs to be done, he knows that in some way or another I am a hero. In his heaven he is back in his youth, probably in his early twenties. He is sitting in that old Ohio house he grew up in, a warm fire blazing in the fireplace and a bottle of beer in his hand. And thanks to the Winchesters, Castiel, Gabriel, and I, and our talk with God before facing Lucifer, he can be visited by his friends. I watch him holding hands with his wife as he sits around a comfortable room with the fireplace gently crackling in the background, talking and joking with those closest to him. His kids, who in their heaven are in their late teen years, young, naive, innocent and carefree, will come in and visit their parents every now and then.
The Impala complete with the army man stuck in the ashtray and the Lego’s crammed in the vents, is still around. After Castiel and the boys passed on Gabriel and I took it upon ourselves to take care of her. We keep her clean and scratch free; we do what we can to keep her as beautiful as Dean once did. Gabriel even grew a small meadow with a circle of trees around her in the abandoned field that used to be Bobby Singer’s salvage yard. He said he used some of his grace to make sure no one could enter the meadow without our permission. We know the old car won’t stay like this forever though. One day Gabriel and I will rejoin our friends and that beautiful scrap of metal will be no more because there will be no one to take care of her. One day after we have left she will rust and fall apart and be consumed by the earth as it grows over her. One day after the magic of Gabriel’s Grace wears off people will be able to wander into that meadow and see what used to be the most beautiful and important car in history. Maybe some kid that read those books will see it and think ‘hey, that’s the car Sam and Dean had!’ Maybe they will care enough to fix her up and make her beautiful again, bring her back to her former glory like what she deserves. I know the Impala is only a car, but she is rather important. Somehow I just don’t think the story of the Winchesters would be the same if John Winchester had chosen to buy a Scooby Doo Mystery Machine for a car. But until then Gabriel and I do whatever we can to keep her in pristine shape. This is a small tribute we pay to our friends. To the boys who spent their whole life in that car, windows rolled down and old music blasting. If it wasn’t for us she would have been taken to a junkyard to rust and fall apart much sooner with no one knowing the story of the brothers that rode her.
And people still don’t know the story, not the complete story anyways. Even the readers of Chuck’s books don’t know exactly what happened to them. There are rumors here and there of course from people who have read the books, and I still smile whenever I pass a group of people talking about them. About the boys who saved the world time and time again. But they will never know the boys like I did. They will never know just how much family meant to them, they will never know just how kind and loving and self sacrificing Sam and Dean and Cas were. They will never know the many memories that took place in or near that old car, they will never truly understand just how much pain and sacrifice the boys went through to save the world countless times and fight the monsters some people refused to believe existed. To them, they are just a story. Just some characters made up by an author named Carver Edlund who mysteriously disappeared before the rest of the books were properly published. And as time went on the books became more and more popular, someone even found the unpublished books while digging around the old house after Chuck disappeared. It took them a while, considering the house was a disaster when they arrived, but they persevered and found every last page of the books in the “Supernatural” series. After finding all the pages they typed them up themselves and downloaded it to the internet, granting access to anyone who wished to know the story of the brothers and their angels and the blessed girl.
Reading the books it was so easy to pretend that world was real, so easy to pretend that those characters actually existed. But to a reader, no matter how much you want a fictional land to exist, you also know that it doesn’t. But if someone were to read the book and take notes and research what was happening in the world at the time, they would see a fair amount of accuracy. They would see that each storm or natural disaster or death of a victim in the book matched up perfectly to the events around the United States. They would see the evidence that maybe there was a small chance that those heroes in the books were real. Maybe if they had gone to that field in Detroit where the last battle with Lucifer occurred they would see that patch of dead grass formed roughly in the shape of wings. Even after so many years the scorch marks that marked the death of an angel were still visible. The death of an angel and the power their Grace gave off as it died was still strong; especially considering this was no ordinary angel. Lucifer himself died there, and that small patch of dead grass would remain far past me and Gabriel’s lifespan. That small amount of destruction, the last harm that the devil would do, left that bit of earth unwilling to grow anything. No matter how many gardeners tried, no matter how many seeds were planted, they all soon shriveled and died. And if any of those dedicated readers and fans of that series were to travel to that field they would see the evidence with their own eyes. They would feel the slight bitterness left in the air around there that Lucifer let out as he died. They would feel the power in the air, telling them something important happened here.
Once Dean and Castiel realized how much they truly loved each other, even if they didn’t admit it to each other immediately even after the final big battle, they were practically inseparable. Cas even gave up his grace so he could grow old with the hunter. Sam grew close with a nice brunette hunter by the name Kelsey, but they never got married. They moved in with each other as they got older but they never made their relationship official. I guess they both knew they weren't soul mates. Sam was still holding on to Jess, hoping to see her again. And Kelsey, well she never did say who she lost, but they must have been as important to her as Jessica was to Sam. They were both just holding on to whatever happiness they could get while they waited patiently for the afterlife.
The Winchesters of course were not immortal. They might have cheated death a hundred times over, but every human eventually has to give in to the sweet promise Death gives them that all the pain and suffering and loss can be over. Death even took them into the afterlife personally; he didn’t even send a reaper after any of them. He came and sat down with them, having a pleasant conversation over some pretty tasty pizza. The boys were old by then, they had done all they could do to help the people of this planed and had even had a few years of peace, taking over Bobby’s job of helping other hunters when they needed it. After their talk with Death they boys came and talked to me and Gabriel. We approved, it was time for them to go on to heaven and finally be at ease. They had carried on through so much and now they had done all they could do. They were done and it was time for them to find their peace. And when they laid down that night, their weary heads resting on their pillows, Death came back and took them. No more cause for tears, their story was done.
Like everyone else Sam Dean and Castiel each had their own heaven, but they spent most of their time at the Harvelle's Roadhouse with Ellen, Jo, Ash, Mary and John, Charlie, Kevin, Pamela, Jody Mills, and occasionally Missouri. They seemed happy there, being with their family and friends. Sam even had Jessica back with him; it was obvious for anyone who saw them that they were meant for each other. Just knowing that the two were reunited and happy makes me smile. She finally knew the truth, about demons and monsters and ghosts and how she died. But she was fine with it. She didn’t blame Sam for any of it, instead she treated him like what he was, a hero.
I liked it, going back and visiting them in the Roadhouse heaven. There the boys were young and happy. And above all they didn’t seem as tired. They no longer had the weight of the world on their shoulders; they no longer had to sacrifice themselves to save everyone else. Their smiles were more genuine, no longer weighed down by the bags under their eyes from countless nights of lost sleep and stress and worrying about tomorrow. They laughed and talked and drank beer. Basically they got to enjoy the demon free monster free life they always deserved. They got to sit down relax and be happy. It was a complete family, one where both parents were there and the boys were each free to be with their soul mate for the rest of forever. Dean had Cas and Sam had Jess, they finally got the perfect life they deserved.
And as for Gabriel and I, maybe we didn’t get a nice break like the boys did, and maybe we wouldn’t for a long time. We decided to stay on Earth for a little while longer, helping the other hunters round up and kill the last remaining sources of evil that still roamed the planet. Either way I was happy or at least content with our situation considering the circumstances. We still stopped by to visit Sam and Dean quite often, so even if they had passed away and the world missed them, Gabriel and I were lucky enough to have a way to go back to them and catch up. We took care of the Impala for Dean. We were content with where we were. After the brothers left earth we took over their job, protecting and helping the other hunters. We didn’t have to do much though, Lucifer was dead and the gates of hell were closed forever. It didn’t take long for the remaining living hunters to round up the last demons still on earth and put an end to their lives. The world was at peace for the most part, with humanity as its only enemy. Countries still fought and war still raged on occasionally, but the true evil was gone. I suspected it wouldn’t be long now till the actual apocalypse came and everyone who deserved it would be up in heaven where they belonged.
And thanks to my little talk with Chuck you could enter another person's heaven with their permission. Friends and families could be reunited and everyone could be truly happy, not just content with that single memory. The atmosphere changed up there, at least that’s what Gabriel said. He told me stories about how even back when he was a newborn angel, a fledgling, how we would occasionally wander unseen into different heavens and spy on people. He had always been interested with our species, and until he went down and visited Earth this was the closest he could get to them. He would watch them reliving that one peaceful memory over and over. He told me that although they looked at ease and content with what was going on, their smiles always seemed to have an undertone of sadness to them. But now that they could go between heavens and visit who they wished that sadness melted away, replaced by the joy of seeing their family and friends again.
And then there was God himself. After being inside the imperfect and flawed human incarnation of himself, he seems to have learned his lesson. He has been up and ruling heaven ever sense he made us that offer to join him after the defeat of the devil. He seemed to take our words to heart as he was now a far better king than he used to be. He was a better father. He brought back to good angels who had died unnecessarily in the war caused by his absence. He visited each of them and allowed them all to come to him whenever they wished. His angels loved him more and no longer rebelled. They no longer had to follow as many orders; they were freer than what they used to be. They still had their jobs to do on heaven and on earth, but so long as they were good they could do anything they wanted in their free time.
Balthazar was back, as sarcastic as ever, and him and Gabriel would often be flying around and doing “legendary” things. These so called things involved doing a rain dance around the liberty bell as chocolate kisses and confetti came down from a glowing cloud caused by Gabriel. I would join them occasionally, it was nice to cut loose and have some fun. And the people who did happen to see would just pretend it was something else, a person only sees what they want to after all. If they aren’t ready to believe in thinks like that they will trick their minds into pretending it’s something else.
It had been about one hundred and seventy years since the Winchester brothers died, and Gabriel and I were still alive and well. One of the perks of being God’s chosen child I guess, you didn’t have to make your angel give up their Grace and immortality to be with you. But as much as I love Gabriel, it did get kind of lonely sometimes with just the two of us. Maybe Gabriel was fine with it, seeing as he was an angel and had been around since before the beginning of time and all. Maybe to him that amount of time was nothing but a blink of an eye, but for me it seemed far too long. I was born human but I had outlived any and all my human friends. I even outlived Cas, but that was because of his own choice I guess. Maybe the whole blessing thing was good, but at the same time it sometimes felt like a curse. I was just glad that I had Gabriel with me to spend eternity with or I would have given it up long ago. But as much as I loved Gabriel, I loved and missed my friends too. Two hundred and seventy years was far too long for any human, blessed or not, to be permitted to live.
I was currently sitting curled up with my angel on the hood of the impala, looking up into the clear night sky. We did that quite often, just sitting in silence and remembering all the adventured we had with the old classic car. “Hey, Gabriel?”
“Yeah? What’s up?” He responded lazily, eyes closed and at peace. He had his arm around me securely, keeping me warm in the late autumn night.
“I love you, you know that right?” He nodded, sitting up.
He nodded. “Love you too.”
We both knew we were going to have to have this conversation eventually; we were just putting it in the back of our minds for as long as possible. “Well I think it’s time. We lived our life, hell we lived way longer than a normal person’s lifespan. I think it’s time.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Are you sure? You know after we go up there for good there is no coming back.”
I nodded slightly nervously, not sure how he would react. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m tired of constantly going between your home and mine. I think it’s time we find a place to stay, somewhere we belong.”
Surprisingly he smiled. “I agree. Come on Abigall Spiers; let’s go join our friends for good.”
I smiled, relieved at his response and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. After a second he pulled away, smiling brightly. He grabbed both of my hands and rested his forehead against mine.
Before I was completely blinded by the bright flash of light I could have sworn I saw Gabriel’s beautiful golden wings melting away as he gave up his Grace. Those wonderful soft golden wings that I had grown so used to as they curled around me at night, this would be the last time I saw them. When the light got too bright I buried my face into my boyfriend’s chest to shield my eyes. Of course I did have the rare ability to see an angel in their true form, but this was more than that. Not only was his Grace shining through his vessel but he was also taking us to the afterlife. He was giving up his Grace like what Cas had done for Dean, and I was giving up the blessing. It didn’t hurt like I thought it would. It kind of felt like it was being gently pulled from my body. After a few seconds it was gone. The warpath of the blessing had disappeared, and I was left feeling powerless. I felt human again for the first time in nearly three hundred years. It was nice, I didn’t feel like I was some great wonder anymore, I was simply me. Abigall Spiers, a normal girl from a small town in Ohio. When I opened them again it was like waking up from a dream. Everything was peaceful and quiet for a few seconds as I became aware of my surroundings.
An old song was playing softly on the radio in the background. It was by a band forgotten long ago on Earth, But I recognize it as a ‘Kansas’ song. I looked around, smiling brightly as I took in the familiar smell and atmosphere of the Harvelle’s Roadhouse. I took a shaky breath as I took time to look at each welcoming face.
Sam was the first to approach us, Jessica not far behind, holding the hand of her significant other. "There is something different about you two. You are here, like really here. For good, forever." It wasn't a question but I still nodded to confirm his thoughts. "Did you...um...are you...?" He asked nervously, unable to get the words out completely.
I chuckled slightly, shaking my head. "No, no we came on our own free will. Guess we missed you guys too much to stay far away for too long so we figured it was time to join you. For real this time."
Sam's smile instantly became less stressed; we had eased his worries about us being murdered. He laughed and gently dropped Jessica's hand before wrapping his arms around me and enveloping me in one of his suffocating bear hugs.
Jess tapped him on the shoulder, successfully grabbing his attention. “Don’t strangle the poor girl, let her breath Sam.”
Sam smiled sheepishly as he gently let go of me. “Sorry Abby, guess we missed you too.”
I smiled, letting him know I didn’t mind as I turned to Jessica. Over my many visits here with Gabriel we had become quite close. She was very smart and kind and down to earth. She really was the perfect girl for Sam. “Welcome home Abby.” She said as she pulled me into a far gentler hug than Sam had.
I hugged her back quickly and pulled away smiling. “Thanks Jess.”
I barely had time to step away from her before Dean had enveloped me in his arms and was spinning me around. I laughed as he set me down and I kissed him on the cheek. “Good to see you too Dean. Did you guys really miss us that much?” I stepped out of Dean’s arms and walked over and gave his boyfriend a quick hug as well.
“Sometimes.” Sam admitted. “Sure we always knew you would come back, but we also know that when you visit you never stay. I guess it’s just kinda nice not to have to say goodbye this time.”
I Smiled as I saw Gabriel and Sam hug each other briefly before my angel returned to y side, him and Dean exchanging accepting nods in each others general direction. Some things never change. Sure over the past couple hundred years they had at least gotten to a decent part in their relationship where the didn't want to tear out each others throats, but the still hadn't actually shone friendship or affection towards each other like how Sam and him did. Maybe it was just Dean held on to the past too much and Sam was always slightly more forgiving and accepting. Maybe it was that Dean saw himself as my older brother and felt the need to be that overprotective you-touch-her-I-kill-you guy towards anyone who showed an interest in me. Or maybe it was simply just the fact that both men were rather prideful and stubborn and they both refused to be the first to apologize and accept each other. Well whatever it was at least they were almost on a speaking level with each other. Considering how long it to them to get this far it would take quite a lot of time for them to consider themselves friends, but at least now we had all the time in the world.
Gabriel grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the brothers and their lovers after promising we would be back after we made our rounds of greeting everyone.
Bobby had his wife back, she had just pulled a fresh pie out of an oven and it was sitting on the counter to cool. As usual she was incredibly warm and motherly towards us. She was just the kind of person who could make you smile after being in the room with her for five minutes. Even Bobby, who back when he was alive had seemed a little gruff around the edges, seemed far more at ease and comfortable around her.
Ellen and Joanna, who Gabriel and I had only met once or twice back on earth, were incredibly accepting of us and welcomed us into this crazy family with open arms. They deserved so much more than sacrificing themselves and dying how they did, but the important thing was they were okay now. Ellen had found her husband and Jo had a father again. Ash, brilliant and slightly dorky Ash, would always have some new technology that he had hacked or something of the sort to be showing us. Maybe we didn’t all understand what went on in that brain of his, but we sure as hell appreciate it. And when he was first introduced to Charlie who had built a life of hacking stuff, it was geek at first sight. They acted like twins who had been separated at birth or something. It was nice but also slightly scary how well they got along.
Kevin Tran, the nineteen year old kid from advanced placement who had the misfortune of being chosen as a prophet after God returned to heaven and the tablets were discovered and had died in the act of the third trial, to cure a demon to close the gates of hell forever, had also found a place in the roadhouse heaven. I was with the brothers when the met the boy, he was just a normal kid living a simple life. He never wanted anything to do with the supernatural and was scared at first. I was with the brothers as we watched to young man transform himself into a hero, someone who was willing to die for the cause. It was a shame of course that he had to die so young and so horribly, but now seeing him in heaven you would have never guessed he had been forced to go through all that. He was back to his simple life, with his mom and visiting his friends quite often in there heaven. It was nice to see him like this again, no longer with living with the fear of each day being his last.
And then there was Charlie. The wonderful quirky and nerdy redhead who had ran off to Oz with the one and only Dorothy. In the end she got what she wanted, her own adventure. She participated in the quests and got rid of danger. She experienced magic and saw it for what it was; in the right hands it could be beautiful and wonderful. She was the hero of her own story, but of course every hero has to have some sort of tragic back-story. And Charlie’s was her mom. But she was with her again and they would often meet each other and read The Hobbit, overjoyed to just be in each others presence again. Charlie, unlike most, had several heavens she considered home. The Harvell Roadhouse was only one of them. A few others were with her mom, or LARPing with her friends. I joined her a few times, and yeah, it was actually pretty great. But Charlie had spent her life on Earth hiding and creating false identity, she had several lives that she lived and many friends. She would always be running off to one heaven or another, but in the end she always came back to the Roadhouse.
We went around and told everyone that we were here to stay. It was definitely nice to not have to leave again. It was easier this way, no more goodbyes and several more hellos to come. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time. Even when everyone had dragged the tables together so we could all fit and sat down for a good old fashioned family Sunday dinner and my face felt like it could fall off, I still didn’t stop smiling. And we all let out a laugh when Mrs. Singer came in with the fresh apple pie for dessert and Dean’s face lit up with delight as he practically sang praises to ‘the best thing to ever be invented ever.” Just because we technically didn’t need to eat didn’t mean we couldn’t enjoy simple pleasures right? And yeah, sure I might grow to miss Earth eventually, but at the moment as far as I was concerned this was far better. Being in a room surrounded by the people you love and the ones who love you. And Gabriel, angel or not it didn’t matter, my Gabriel was still by my side and I knew that he would be with me for every step of the way as much as I knew that I would always be there for him.
About three hundred years together and we never actually did get married. we might have talked about it back down on Earth, Gabriel saying he could just snap his fingers and I could have anything I ever wanted. But it didn’t matter to me that we never married; I didn’t need a ring around our fingers to say we were meant to be. Just like Sa, and Jess or Dean and Cas our bond ran deeper than that. No matter how much we said or whatever we did to show it, we would always love each other more than words or rituals could express.
Maybe that’s why that night after we had officially moved into the room that we frequently occupied when we visited and lay in bed and Gabriel had his arms wrapped around me and my head was resting against his chest and he said, “Abigall Spiers. You broke free of Hell, broke free of being just an ordinary human, and now you have broken free of Earth completely. Please don’t ever break free of me. I need you. I love you.”
I smiled and responded with a simple. “I know I feel the same way.” And for once he didn’t need to use angel powers to make me sleep well (him not having them anymore because he gave them up might have been one reason why he didn’t, but it didn’t matter). For once I didn’t have nightmares and slept peacefully, cradled in my Gabriel’s arms. I could definitely get used to this.
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