All that I have left to give
All the reasons I confront
No more reason left to live
If that ain't enough
Tell me why it’s not enough
Even when you let me down
I forgive you in the end
What goes round comes back around
So I’ll wait for you till then
If that’s not enough,
Tell me what would be enough, be enough, be enough, be enough
And what is love
If there's still a chance of something
And what is love
If it's building up to nothing
But never see how far we've come
We keep looking at the sun
So what is love
If we’re still searching for something?
The crowd was going crazy on the stands of the Hogwarts Quidditch Pavilions as the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor players zoomed up and down on their brooms. The game was in full swing with Ravenclaw leading 80-70. It was going to be close, as both Seekers were equally matched and chasing after the Snitch at this very moment, but Draco Malfoy had other things to worry about.
Time was a strange thing, sometimes you just wished it would stop and the next moment you just wished it would go by faster. He could hardly believe that it has been four months since he told Hermione he was getting married. She didn’t take it well, which upset him and pleased him at the same time. It pleased him because it meant that some feelings for him were still there and it upset him because he clearly hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted to do, but the only thing he ever did. She had been avoiding him these last four months as he ‘dated’ Astoria Greengrass. Their façade was obviously a success as the press ate them up. “The Slytherin Prince has finally found his Princess.” Draco wanted to throw up when he read the headlines. Over the last four months, he really tried to like Astoria, maybe even love her, but it was impossible. Astoria was kind and sweet, but she was not Hermione Granger. Draco often felt himself bored in their conversations; she never had one intelligent thing to say. She cared mostly about material things and she lacked the passion that Hermione Granger had. He knew he shouldn’t compare the two of them, but he couldn’t help it. He thought of Astoria as a friend, but no more. His heart was with Hermione and no one else.
Astoria had insisted on inviting the whole Hogwarts staff to their wedding, and Draco had agreed reluctantly. He watched Hermione closely the morning when the invitations arrived. She was sitting three seats away from him, her hair scooped up into a messy bun with a few stray curls hanging out. Astoria’s hair was always perfect. Hermione wasn’t wearing any make-up and she looked beautiful without it, whereas Draco has never seen Astoria without make-up. Hermione opened the card slowly and he could see her taking a deep breath. Her eyes scanned over the words before they closed. Draco could only imagine what she must have felt and it made his heart clench. She sat still for a moment, her face becoming paler by the minute as something danced behind her closed eyelids. She stood up abruptly, leaving the card on the table and walking out of the Great Hall. It took all his will power to remain seated and not go after her. Why was this hurting her so much? She wasn’t supposed to remember, she wasn’t supposed to love him. He made sure of that.
“GO GRYFFINDOR!” The crowd cheered again, pulling Draco out of his thoughts. Astoria was sitting on the couch opposite him in his study, bridal magazines open all around her. Draco tried to help with all the wedding preparations, but he was rubbish at it and didn’t really care. He was happy to let Astoria plan the whole thing.
“We have an interview with Witch Weekly next week Monday,” Astoria informed him and he tried to stop from rolling his eyes at her. She was enjoying her new celebrity status too much for his taste. She dragged him from interview to interview, where he had to play the loving fiancé. His cheeks hurt from all the smiling. Draco just nodded and Astoria went back to her magazines and he turned back to the window.
Much too his surprise Hermione and her house had agreed to loan the Slytherin team a player, but on the condition that if Slytherin and Gryffindor play against each other that Slytherin plays with six players. Draco was fine with it; he was not going to expect the Gryffindor player to turn on his own team. He knew that the Slytherin team wouldn’t win the Cup, but that wasn’t the point. The point was teamwork, and building a better house for the next generations to come. The Slytherins were currently busy cheering Gryffindor on to show their support, and Draco was proud of the kids. They seemed happier these days, which made Draco a little happier as well.
An owl flying in through the window and dropping an envelope in Draco’s lap interrupted the silence. Draco sat up, picking up the envelope and opening it. He immediately recognized the handwriting. It was Hermione’s RSVP card.
He held his breath as he took the card out, knowing it was pointless to hope that she RSVP’d yes, but he still hoped. He pulled the card out, his heart sinking a little when he saw that she did indeed RSVP no.
He felt stupid for actually believing that she would come to his wedding. They weren’t friends, they never were. He ruined her life every chance he got, and he was still ruining it at this moment. He did what he had to do during the war; it was safer to push her away and to take her memories of their time together than to let her keep them. They were on different sides and they had different duties.
Now that’s all in the past, so why was it so hard? Why was he still hurting her?
It would be foolish to believe that she actually cared for him, he was an asshole after all.
Draco sighed, tossing the card on the table and sinking into the chair. He was going to get married to Astoria, he should stop thinking about Hermione. She wasn’t his problem and they were better off not being friends.
He was simply going to have to forget Hermione Granger.