Chapter 14: Naruto Christmas
Hello, kids. Pull up a chair by your computer screen as I tell you a story about how Naruto and some of his friends spent their Christmas. Where to begin... Well, it was around Christmas time, and Naruto was preparing his list for Santa Claus.
Naruto's Christmas List:
Even More Ramen (Believe it!)
Everything was going fine - until that jerk Sasuke stepped into the room and took a look at Naruto's Christmas list.
"You know Santa Claus isn't real, idiot," Sasuke said, using his 'I know everything' type of voice.
"OH YEAH, SASUKE? WELL, I'M GOING TO PROVE YOU WRONG! COME ON, SASUKE, ARE YOU CHICKEN? LET'S MAKE A BET! Believe it!" Naruto shouted, aggravated that Sasuke just tore apart his dream of someday becoming Santa's elf, and the first Hokage elf in ninja history.
"A bet? What kind of bet?" Sasuke asked, a little puzzled.
"We stay in this house all night and wait for Santa; if he doesn't show up, then you win. Believe it!" Naruto said.
"What's in it for me if I win?" Sasuke asked.
Sasuke was a little intrigued at the idea of waiting for Santa, since he had never met the man himself. Personally, Sasuke wanted Naruto to be right for once; but a year ago, Itachi had told him that Santa was nonexistent – that was right before he had "killed his clan". But Sasuke just kept calm with a good 'poker face' and looked at Naruto as he awaited a response.
"Okay, Sasuke, if you win, I won't eat any ramen for a day. Believe it..." Naruto said, looking dejected. For Naruto, he had just made the ultimate sacrifice. He was literally putting everything on the line for this bet.
"No," Sasuke said, looking displeased. "I don't want you to go without ramen, I mean, what good would that be for me? How about if I'm right, you must give me your nine-tailed fox?"
Naruto looked at Sasuke in shock for a moment. "H-How did you know I have the Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit sealed inside me? Believe it!"
"Nine Tailed Fox Spirit?" Sasuke asked. "What are you talking about? I wanted your Pokémon Ninetales."
"Oh, believe it," Naruto said, looking a little embarrassed.
Anyways, time passed; and while we wait to see if Naruto and Sasuke meet Santa Claus, I'd like to read you some letters that some other characters wrote.
Dear Santa Claws,
For Christmas, I'd really like something animal-related, but nothing made of animals. Does that make sense? I'd like to save an animal from going endangered.
Kiba later found a certificate saying that he successfully adopted a polar bear and had saved one from dying. (Overall, this was a pretty good cause.)
Since I don't have time to read all the other letters word-for-word, I'll show you what others wanted.
Sakura, Ino & Orochimaru want Sasuke.
Ryuk wants an apple.
Asuma wants "CIGARETTES NOW, OR YOU DIE!"
Choji wants food, food, and MORE FOOD!
Shino wants new friends. (Translation: He wants bugs.)
Hinata wants... "Well, you know. ^/^'"
Gaara wants to destroy the Leaf Village.
Kankuro wants a new sock puppet. (He is the master of sock puppets, after all.)
Temari wants an AC. ("Hurry, the giant fan isn't working!")
Kisame wants Fishy Flakes Fish Food (with real fish flakes).
Neji wants more disclaimers
Tenten wants a personality. (lol Not happening.)
Lastly, Minato wants them to update the Naruto English dub anime! He's worried about his son.
Okay, I guess it's time to move on with the story. We don't want the Spoofing to end up like the Naruto anime, waiting forever to figure out what happens next.
Naruto and Sasuke didn't have to wait long for Santa. In a matter of minutes, there came footsteps on the roof, causing both Naruto and Sasuke to freeze in place.
After a few really painful minutes of watching an old man trying to fit down the very narrow chimney of Naruto's apartment, Naruto and Sasuke both began to wonder how Santa could really break into everyone's home in just one night. So far, it seemed like a really painful and long process for this man to just get down this chimney.
Finally, a man came out! He didn't look anything like Santa, but that didn't matter to Naruto as he ran over to the man and hugged him.
"SANTA, I KNEW YOU WERE REAL! I BELIEVED IT!" Naruto shouted.
The man had a mask covering his face and a forehead protector hiding his left eye. Actually, the only think he had on that even related him to Santa was a red Santa hat. In his hand was a book – was it a book from the Icha-Icha series? No, this book was different. Santa had a Death Note!
"Naruto, get off my leg!" Santa yelled, trying to shake Naruto off of him.
"You aren't Santa!" Sasuke shouted.
"You're right; I'm not!" Santa said with a deranged look in his visible eye. He removed the hat to show his 'true identity'. Naruto and Sasuke both stared at the man in shock. He wasn't Santa at all! He was Kakashi-sensei the whole time!
"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but due to the fact that the majority of 'Naruto Spoofing' fans want you dead, I'm going to have to kill you again. Not that I'm complaining. Truthfully, I actually like this job."
Kakashi opened his book and wrote down Sasuke's name. Since it was Christmas, he wrote beside it 'peaceful death'.
~ phantom130 5 (December 2011)