Naruto spoofing

Trip to Guy's House

Chapter 15: Trip To Guy's House

Might Guy is best known for his freakishly large eye brows and his rivalry with Kakashi. He is almost always seen jogging around the town with an obedient Rock Lee following him. Whenever they pass you, they may scream something about youth at you as they run past. Yes, this duo seems unstoppable. But what do you think will happen if we take a closer look into Guy's life?

We'll send our lovely camera man Sasuke as a decoy to look into Guy's house and report any findings.

(Sasuke) "Hello, Phantom and audience reading this. I am coming to you from inside the home of Guy-sensei."

That's cool, Sasuke, but do you see anything interesting in this house?

(Sasuke) "Hmh... I see nothing yet, but I'll keep you up to date. I'm going to check out another room because this room is pretty much empty."

While Sasuke explores more of Guy's house, Kakashi is keeping guard on top of Guy's roof, just in case Guy comes home early from his jog. We will send Kakashi to jump down and challenge Guy to a fight.

(Kakashi) "To be honest, I'd like to have the job of personally exploring the home; but it doesn't matter, as long as Sasuke finds something interesting in Guy's house."

Yes, Sasuke, for once, the world is cheering you on! You have to stay alive on this mission.

(Sasuke) "Alright, for the readers, I'll try to stay aliv—"

Sasuke? Sasuke? Are you there? Darn, I think he died... DARN IT, SASUKE! YOU ALWAYS DO THE THING THAT NO ONE WANTS YOU TO DO! AND THE ONE TIME YOU MUST STAY ALIVE, YOU GO AND DIE! ...Sorry for the caps. I guess we will have to send in the back-up ninja. Going into Guy's house is the awesome and more superior ninja known as Itachi, along with his pet 'land fish' Kisame!

(Itachi) "My pet Kisame has been looking forward to seeing what Guy's home looks like."

(Kisame) "Glub."

Okay, Itachi, so tell me what you see.


Forget Sasuke. Anything you see?

(Itachi) "Well, I'm moving onto a room that appears to be a kitchen. It's funny: pretty much every food in this room seems healthy. I don't see a fattening food in sight, which is kind of upsetting seeing as I've got a major hankering for chocolate."

(Kisame) "Glub."

Maybe you two can move to another room and tell us if there is anything in there.

(Itachi) "Alright, hold your horses and give me a second."

I bet you're wondering how we got into Guy's house. Am I right? Simple explanation: I'm the writer, and I can do whatever I want! Make sense?

(Itachi) "Oh no! P-Phantom!"

What is it, Itachi?

(Itachi) "T-this r-room! I think I just f-found what you were looking for! In this room, it has a ton of exercise equipment!"

So, Guy exercises. What's your point? We already knew that.

(Itachi) "No, that isn't the half of it. On the ground, there are several corpses. Many of them look like Lee, but some are fairly deformed. It almost looks like he has been trying to clone himself to make a 'younger' and 'more youthful' self. But these all appear to be duds."

Ohhhhhhhh, that explains why Lee and Guy look so much alike! Lee is a clone! That also explains why we've never seen Lee's parents.

(Itachi) "Yeah, but Phantom! It appears I'm in the home of a madman! These experiments look more twisted then Orochimaru's!"

Neji disclaimer: Orochimaru takes offence to that remark.

Wow, a twisted yet youthful villain who's worse than Orochimaru! Wow, this has the makings of a great crime drama!

Neji disclaimer: Orochimaru is still offended and is waiting for an apology. He doesn't believe his experiments are twisted. He just likes curse-mark muffins.

(Kakashi) "Guys, you need to hurry and get out. Guy and Lee are coming home fast, and I'm not sure how long I'll be able to hold the two up. Itachi, escape from the back door and take Sasuke's corpse out with you."

(Itachi) "Eww, Sasuke germs!"

(Kakashi) "Get over it, Itachi. As long as Sasuke is dead, you're the 'last Uchiha,' so stop acting like a five-year-old girl and start acting like an Uchiha!"

(Itachi) "Why don't you just make Sasuke live again? You can do it, can't you?"

(Kakashi) "Nah, I don't feel like it."

(Itachi) "Jerk."

While Kakashi hopefully battles Guy, and as Kisame, Itachi, and Sasuke escape, I need to come up with some clever way to capture Guy and bring him to justice. He is obviously insane and doesn't deserve to be in this town. But how...? I know! Shikamaru's often smart - maybe we can ask him!

(Shikamaru) "..."

I see! Shikamaru is sleeping; so therefore, he says we should just sleep, and everything will be good when we wake up. Shikamaru, I love your logic! Well, I'm going to sleep. This is phantom130 5 signing out and saying good night, world!

~ phantom130 5 (December 2010)

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