Meet Team Itachi
Chapter 8: Meet Team Itachi
Today's story starts out at a town hall meeting. The old Hokage stood at the front of the room, smoking an old wooden pipe. His son Asuma was smoking a cigarette, and his grandson Konohamaru was smoking a bubble wand. It was one of those like father like son like grandson moments. They were standing close beside the Hokage to listen to his message.
The rest of the Naruto world sat in the stands. Church had just ended, and now they were waiting for the Hokage's 'big announcement'.
"Attention, all ninjas of the Leaf, Sound, Sand, and Mist!" the Hokage shouted. "There is something that I want to discuss! We're getting immigrants from a foreign country. I've been told they don't speak English, so I just wondered how many of you speak a language besides English!"
The crowd talked amongst themselves for a moment. Finally, from the crowd, Kabuto raised his hand and called, "I know how to speak Muffin!"
Choji's eyes lit up at the word.
"I know how to speak Believe It!" Naruto shouted. "Believe It is like English but you only use letters from the phrase believe it! Believe it!"
"I speak bug," Shino commented, hugging Lee.
"Socko says he speaks Sock Puppet," Kankuro said.
The Hokage sighed. "Of course you do; but does anyone speak a real language?"
"I speak Japanese," Kakashi offered.
The Hokage facepalmed.
The next day, two figures from the Akatsuki walked into the village. They had studied Spanish and worn sombreros to avoid getting recognized. There was one problem, though. One of the Akatsuki members was a blue fish being held onto by the other by a leash. He wore a fish tank hamlet, similar to on Sponge Bob.
When the Hokage saw the two men with sombreros and moustaches, he ran over to say hi. "Hello, Canadians!" the Hokage said slowly, as if they were idiots. He failed to realize that the two guys were clearly Spanish and not Canadian.
"¡Hola!" the non-blue man greeted back, meaning, "Hello!"
The other just said, "Glub."
"Llévame a Naruto," the first man requested, meaning, "Take me to Naruto."
The Hokage, obviously confused by the new language, pulled out an English-Canadian dictionary.
The second Akatsuki member simply added another, "Glub."
The Hokage frantically flipped through the pages, looking for some sort of translation, unable to understand a thing they were saying.
The first Akatsuki man growled impatiently, waiting for the Hokage to realize that he was speaking Spanish and that Canadian wasn't a language.
Finally, he shouted, "Take me to Naruto!" He had given up on keeping in-character, but the second Akatsuki member continued glubbing.
The Hokage smiled, pleased to be able to understand them now. "Oh, you mean the 'believe it' kid?"
"Yes, the 'believe it' kid," the first Akatsuki member said, getting even more impatient. "Show me him!"
The second Akatsuki member added his two cents: "Glub."
Then a voice seemed to come out of nowhere. "Itachi, it's you! I'm going to kill you for what you did to the Uchiha clan!"
Sasuke charged at the Mexican man, who pulled off his costume. Sure enough, he was Itachi.
"Fool," Itachi said with an evil laugh. "I keep telling you, little brother, that the Uchiha clan is still alive! The reason you never see them is because they're all partying with me on my houseboat on the water, and you're not invited!"
"Shut up; you're lying!" Sasuke yelled. "I'd rather my clan be dead than be partying with you, Itachi! You cheat in Go Fish!"
"Glub," was all the second Akatsuki member said.
He was still in his costume and on a leash, but it was obvious he was Kisame, seeing as how Kisame was the only character in Naruto that was blue.
Then the two brothers got into a random Yo Mama fight.
"Yo Mama's so fat even Naruto didn't believe it!"
"Yo Mama's so ugly even Jiraiya didn't want her!"
"Yo Mama's so old she sat behind the first Hokage!"
"Yo Mama's so fat she made Choji say dang!"
"Yo Mama's so fat Naruto thought she was using shadow clones!"
The insults just flew until the brothers realized they had the same mother.
Then Sasuke charged at his brother. However, Itachi pushed him into the ground so hard that it made an impression of Sasuke in the cement.
Sasuke collapsed on the ground, dead.
"Foolish brother, you can never kill me or be invited to my party on the boat."
~ phantom130 5 (September 2010)