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Losing Your Reasons for Staying

By phantom130 5

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Losing Your Reasons for Staying

Shinji opened his eyes and looked up. He was lying on an old hospital bed; by chance, he was in the same room he always seemed to wind up occupying after he tried to pilot the Eva.

By now, Shinji was annoyed with being a pilot; not once did anyone ever thank Shinji for what he had done, not even his father, the one person he believed he wanted to be acknowledged by most he was annoyed with always winding up in the same hospital room, but most of all, he was annoyed with trying to save the world and never getting any praise.

On a desk next to him was his old SDAT tape player, picked it up, and switched it on in an attempt to drown out reality. It was the same song he had heard a million times over, his life seemed tobe on repeat just like the song; he would pilot the Evangelion…but why?

While still listening to his tape recorder, he placed his foot down on the ground, one step after another until he was able to regain his ability to walk. He realized nothing was broken…this time at least.

Shinji walked through the halls of the headquarters, which were heavily populated by NERV personnel. This lead Shinji to believe the employees were on his or her lunch break.

Shinji had only recently agreed to join his father at NERV, and was unable to recognize a lot of faces besides Misato, Rei, and of course, his father.

To him it seemed like he was walking through these unchanging halls for miles he saw a glimpse of Rei in the corner of his eye.

Rei had a thick red hard-covered book cradled within her arms. He figured that she was probably planning on visiting him while he was still unconscious and spending some of her free time reading while waiting for Shinji to wake up.

"Hi, Rei", Shinji greeted.

"Hi", Rei replied casually.

They stood looking at each other in silence.

"Rei, you're close to my father right?" Shinji asked, breaking the silence.

"Gendo Ikari…yes, I suppose you can say that."

Rei noticed Shinji cringe at that answer as if he found it hard to accept.

"You appear to harbour ill feelings towards your father. Why?"

"Well I guess it's more we just never really understood each other. He always wants me to pilot the EVA, even though I'm no good at it. I just don't understand why... like, why is it always me?"

"You have a choice. No one is making you pilot the Evangelion." Rei said short and to the point.

Shinji looked down despondently, He had realized that once before when he tried to run away as a kid; but somehow, Shinji always seemed to come back to NERV headquarters.

Rei walked away without saying another word.

The boy kept walking until he reached a door leading outside. Suddenly he knew what he was going to do. Shinji was going to try to run away.

The sky was dark and cloudy and there was a strong gust of wind blew past the young teen, shaking the trees and causing a chill.

"Great, I don't even get nice weather..." Shinji said to himself, wallowing in self-pity, "Maybe I should just try to run away again. If I am not needed, then why should my father care if I leave?"

Shinji only took a few steps away from the headquarters when he felt the ground shake. Emergency sirens rang as if to announce for everyone to take shelter.

Suddenly, footsteps were heard, the ground began to shake with each step and there was an unmistakable feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Shinji turned his head just in time to see a massive robot like creature break its way through a nearby forest and slowly make its way toward the headquarters, smashing through anything in its way.

This one, despite its size, seemed to resemble a human shape then mostof the others. It had an orange body, tentacle like fingers, and in his headit was a gray circle with three holes in it.

Suddenly, an old memory of Rei popped into Shinji's head. Rei was willing to put her life on the line to fight against an Angel even though she was already seriously injured. He knew that if he wasn't there Rei would have willing fought to her death.

"Shinji Ikari, report to Unit-01 immediately." Boomed a voice on the loud speakers, immediately snapping the boy out of his train of thought.

That was when Shinji finally realized why he always came full circle. It was because even though no one would say it; he was the only one who could pilot Unit-01. If he didn't…people would get hurt. He had to fight.

-phantom130 5 (May 2011)

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