Bonnie had sat on the Gilbert's old porch and cried until she felt like her eyes were all dried up. She had breathed in and out large gulps of air to try and calm herself several times to the point her torso felt sore. She yelled and screamed to let out all her frustrations.
But it didn't work.
She was still sobbing.
She was now hyperventilating.
She was still upset.
And she was all alone.
Slowly she got to her feet started aimless walking. For moments she stopped to cry more. Moments she felt like maybe she would just lay down on the road, It's not like I'll get run over. she thought reasonably to herself. Because I'm alone.
But she kept walking until she finally had gotten to her unknown destination: the boarding house. She walked through the parlor room looking at the set out alcohol and tumblers as if a certain raven-haired vampire would appear to pour himself his usual drink, then making a snarky 'had you fooled didn't I' comment. With that thought she remembered how even when her and Damon weren't friends he was the one who always came back for her. After the 60s dance. On the island. When she died, both times. And even now. She's smiled, "I didn't even get to say thank you..." then tears began streaming down her face again, and she looked away.
She hadn't been in his room since they had arrived, but now she crept in slowly. The smell of Damon quickly engulfed her, so she quickly shut the door behind her not wanting to let any of it escape.
She kicked off her boots, and striped off her road trip clothes, and then was standing in nothing but her underwear, not even a bra in Damon Salvatore's bedroom the irony struck her, and she smiled again. She imagined he'd say something along the lines of, 'of course you want to walk around practically naked now that I'm not here!' or 'here to act out some secret fantasies, judgy? don't worry I won't tell!' She thought of the Damon smiles he would wear and probably wink after saying those things.
She waltzed over to his dresser and pulled out one of his signature black shirts and then pressed it to her face. She never could quite place what the pleasurable scent that was Damon exactly was. She pulled on the shirt then climbed into his king sized bed. Under the covers and surrounded by luxurious fluffy pillows and silence. Bonnie thought about how even though she was so excited to go home today, that Elena had actually come to save her, to see her and everyone else... that all alone she wished, "I wish you were here with me..." she said feeling selfish at the notion.
"I just... I miss you." she said finally, and then began sobbing again for the like fifteenth time today! Until it put her to sleep.
Light shined bright into Damon's room and into Bonnie's eyes. Waking up feeling groggy and still exhausted Bonnie thought to herself, Why bother? Not like I need to get up for anybody.
Then turned over to try and get comfortable again then threw one of Damon's dark sheets over her head and closed her eyes to go back to sleep.
She woke again hours later to the room getting quickly darker. The eclipse. Bonnie observed.
"It's mocking me now." Bonnie said bitterly aloud.
I guess I should get up now. she thought but remained unmoved.
Any time there, Bon? she thought again, didn't move.
While she had an inner battle whether or not to rise, the eclipse was soon over letting the bright sun shine back through Damon's windows.
Bonnie took stock of the brightly lit room. Except for his sheets and his clothes Damon had a very surprising brightly colored room.
I wonder if he had actually decorated the whole thing?
The bed and a few large darker armchairs definitely screamed Damon to her. All the books of course, he was very well read which was probably why he was so witty and quick. 'I'm not just a pretty face, Sabrina.' Bonnie monologue-ed Damon-like words through her head.
She sighed. "I have to pee." and got up to do so.
She walked in to his extravagant personal bathroom, remembering the last time she had been here with Caroline and Elena had gotten into that fight about Elena and Damon's at the time new founded relationship.
I hope they're happy. She thought, They must be since they came together.
"What do you mean you don't want my help?!" Elena asked appalled.
"Exactly what it sounds like Elena. I don't want you trying to help me bring back Bonnie anymore." Damon re-explained himself, rolling his eyes as he pulled another book from the shelf.
"Damon is this because of your feelings for me because if-" Damon interrupted, "This isn't about you Elena! This is about Bonnie and getting her back!"
"Why are you getting mad at me Damon? I want Bonnie back just as much as you and it wasn't my fault that we didn't before! So I don't understand why you're-"
Damon interrupted her again, "It's not your fault it's mine, for bringing you along in the first place. If I had just gone by myself Bonnie would be back here where she belongs but I didn't because you asked me to and that's the problem I let you get in the way of my focus… If you hadn't been there I wouldn't have been wondering around your old house I would have been meeting Bonnie half way so we could have met quicker and then she'd be home, not all alone." Damon explained.
"So you do think it's my fault for not going to her instead just 'wondering' around my old house that I never get to see anymore! The same house I grew up in with my parents when they were alive!" Elena argued.
"Look I know that house is important to you because it reminds you of someone you've lost, but maybe you should care a little bit more about your best friend someone else you've lost and could possibly lose again for really the third time now if we can't figure out another way to bring her back!" Damon remarked.
"It is important to me! That's why I don't understand how you can just cut me out of trying to help bring her back, I mean at least let me help you look through like the grimoires or something?!" Elena said.
"No need I have Blondie looking through the witch books in fact I'm just picking some up to drop off to her as we speak." Damon opposed.
"You're letting Caroline help but not me?" Elena asked shocked.
"Well she has sort of become the new witch expert since me and Bon bit it sooo… Yeah." Damon justified.
"Well you'll need a witch to actually do the spells let me help you find one!" Elena persisted.
"Already have Lucy on speed dial." Damon answered.
"Damon this isn't fair! You can't just cut me out of rescuing Bonnie she's my best friend!" Elena said childishly.
"Okay first of all the only thing that isn't fair here is that Bonnie has yet again suffered for everyone else and has been left completely alone by herself! Secondly this isn't some type of hero act for you to fulfill so you can just feel good about yourself! Thirdly, the fact that you had all this time before I came back to try and find the both of us but instead took witch drugs, and then erased me from your memories, and I know you're sorry. But seriously you didn't do anything but sit on your ass and let Stefan try to find the both of us! And finally if she really is your best friend why didn't you have to forget her? I mean not that she deserves that in the slightest, but… What was she just not important enough that you could contemplate living without her? Because were the tables turned she wouldn't rest until she brought you back." Damon was actually starting to get angry with Elena the more he thought about it.
"Look honestly I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings here, but you usually get in the way in these type of situations… So really the best way for you to help is by not helping at all." Damon finished.
"Wow okay if that's really how you feel…" Elena said clearly hurt, but Damon wasn't going to let it slow him down. Mostly cause he had kind of just upset himself with thinking about how little she seemed to help Bonnie in the past, but mainly because he needed to focus on the task at hand.
After going to the bathroom, Bonnie put on her pants from the previous night not feeling like trying to dress up or at all kept on her slept in Damon shirt, but did however make up his bed and gather up her other discarded clothes and shoes. Like anyone would notice but me. Exiting his room she closed the door behind her carefully like she had never been in there at all.
Back in the parlor room chucking her unused garments on a nearby chair she then stood still.
I don't know what to do now.
She walked over to the bourbon and tumblers and stared down at them. She bit her lip, and curled her toes against the Persian rug beneath them.
"This is what you would do... Drink and mope." she said to the non-present vampire.
She poured herself a glass.
"You've obviously had a bad influence on me. To disappointments." she raised the tumbler then threw it back, coughing on the sting of the alcohol.
Hesitantly she poured another.
"To...hope I guess... I hope that I can again soon and not turn into a big drunk drama queen like you!" she said throwing another back, still wincing at the intense flavor.
"And finally to... To Damon Salvatore. Thanks for trying to save me, for always coming back for me! ...I mean of course I've saved you loads of times and you've never thanked me or would even admit it, have you? Have you? Whatever to Damon I miss your punkass." Bonnie declared, thinking the alcohol must already be kicking in, then threw her third back. Setting the tumbler back lingering there to decide whether or not it would be her last.
"Maybe I'll build up a better alcohol tolerance by the time I get out of here." she giggled to herself.
Damon stopped by at Whitmore to give Caroline the books and was now entered Ric's little professor's office, I'm surprised he still works here. Damon thought to himself.
"Get out Damon." Ric ordered harshly not even looking away from his supposed 'work.'
"Oh come on Ric, you can be more hostile than that!" Damon jested.
"Yeah maybe I would if I still cared, but obviously you don't so why should I?" Ric replied.
"Look Ric...-" Damon started.
"No! Look whatever you're gonna say I don't wanna hear it Damon! You were suppose to be my best friend and help me keep Jo, my girlfriend safe! I trusted you and what do you do?! Compel me to do your bidding! So I'm done with you!" Ric shouted.
Damon's eyes widen and began to glare at his friend.
"Not here to ask for your forgiveness Ric!" Damon shouted back.
"Of course you're not! Can never admit when you've done something wrong and actually apologize for it even when it comes to your friends or even former friends should I say?" Ric remarked darkly.
"First of all Ric. I am your friend. Secondly, I feel that I have done nothing wrong so therefore no need for an apology." Damon countered.
"How can you possibly think compelling me to steal the one object that keeps Jo safe from her psychopath brother isn't wrong?! No it's just because bringing back Bonnie means bringing back Elena's memories and that's what you want. And what Damon wants, Damon gets. Everyone else's happiness be damned!" Ric stated venomously.
"I care about your happiness Ric, I really do! You know who else cares?" Damon paused and Ric just glared at him silently, "Bonnie! Remember her? Hmmm? The girl we've all known for over five years!" Damon started slowly to approach Ric.
"The girl who still for some unfathomable reason cares about all of us! Who has sacrificed everything for us time and time again, dying in the process not once." Damon had now come eye to eye with his friend. "Nooo... but twice! And in that second time she brought back your ungrateful ass back so you could give a damn about Jo someone you have barely known a month or anyone else for that matter! Bonnie is the one sole person that deserves to be here alive and well she is the one person we all literally own our lives to and you and everyone else seemingly think that she isn't an important enough reason to do what I did!" Damon said slowly, sadden by his own justification.
"We were going to find another way! You put Jo in danger! If Kai comes back for her-!" Ric says but Damon cuts in.
"What like she won't have you to protect her? Or even her Gemini coven witch family?! What about Bonnie?! She was all alone with him! Was she not in danger?!" Damon yelled, Ric was silent now.
Damon laughed to himself for a moment.
"You know Bonnie doesn't even know Jo and she's probably even gonna be pissed at me for putting her in harm's way too! And I'll let her. She's can be pissed at me and scold me all she wants..." Damon said affectionately with a smile spread across his face, "When she's back, here."
"Ric believe it or not I do care about your happiness... But I just care about Bonnie's more. So there's not gonna be an apology because the only thing I regret outta of all this is not bringing Bonnie back home." Damon said thoughtfully, and began pacing back towards the door.
"Damon! You're right, and I'm in. I'll do whatever I have to, to help you bring her back." Ric volunteered determinedly.
"Sorry buddy don't want you're help. In fact the actual reason I came here was to tell you to tell Jo: Stay out of Mystic Falls. P.S. Kai is in Mystic Falls." Damon replied.
"And since you're the only non-vamp and have some previous hunting experience..." Damon smiled, "I'd say you have a psychotic socio to catch! Careful, he's a stabber." Damon replied, beginning to turn to leave again, "Right... so you're really going solo to save Bonnie then?" Ric asked.
"Consulting Barbie on a few things first, but yeah... Everyone else will just slow me down clearly after bringing Elena the last time..." Damon replied ready to leave again! And once again Ric interrupted!
"What exactly happened between you two over there, you and Bonnie I mean?" Ric asked.
Hope. Damon thought but instead, "A lot." is what he said.