Fifty First Dates

Chapter 11

Castiel felt uncomfortable as they stood outside the woman’s house, while she stared at Sam as though he’d seen a ghost. Dean turned to look at him quickly, but turned away before Castiel could read what was in his eyes. Eventually, the woman called Rebecca spoke, her voice sounding desperate and pleading, which Castiel hadn’t been expecting. Wasn’t this Sam’s new girlfriend?

‘Did I do something wrong? Are you looking into those demonic signs? Because my friend was already here, looking into them. Please, don’t hurt me. I went to someone else, okay?’

The atmosphere was tense, and Castiel didn’t know what to make of the things the woman had blurted out. It sounded, almost, like she knew who Sam and Dean were, and that she hadn’t considered the fact that the man she had been talking to could have been one of them. From the look on Sam’s face that Castiel had noticed, he also hadn’t considered the idea that this woman could have been his internet friend either.

‘You’re Rebecca?’ Sam demanded, and the woman took shelter behind the door, though Castiel noted that she didn’t slam it closed. He realised that, although she was scared of what could be revealed, she wanted to know what had happened to lead the Winchesters and an angel to her door.

‘Okay, so you’ve been talking to him. To Jared. But he couldn’t have known, he didn’t-‘

‘Becky. Can we come in?’ Sam interrupted. Her gaze zeroed in on Castiel, and Castiel felt uncomfortable by the attention.

‘Are you him? Are you Jared?’

Castiel didn’t understand. What was a Jared? Sam took charge, striding forward, opening the door wider and stepping over the threshold, speaking as he walked.

‘We’re having this conversation inside.’

Sam pushed past Rebecca into the house, and Castiel saw the expression she gave Dean, as though he were responsible for Sam’s actions and could explain his behaviour. And then she turned around, following Sam into the house and Castiel looked to Dean for a prompt as to what to do. Dean stood for a moment, tapping his fingers against his thigh, before walking into the house as well. Castiel followed quickly, keeping his voice low.

‘What did she call me?’

Dean turned around to reply, stalling in the hallway.

‘Jared. Jared Paradonkey. I think Sam’s been using a fake name with her. We’ll just stay quiet, okay? This is their problem, not ours.’

Castiel felt distant from Dean then, just for a moment. He wanted to know, as automatically as Dean did, things like that. He made an effort to shrug off that feeling, touching his fingers to Dean’s lightly, stepping forward to press his mouth against Dean’s ear, feeling waves of heat coming from the hunter, enjoying the roughness of the callouses on his fingers and the scratch of Dean’s stubble as he came into contact with both.

‘And then we’ll find some place where you don’t have to be quiet at all.’

Dean shivered against him, and Castiel laughed in delight that he’d caused that reaction, though somehow he managed to keep his laughter quiet, as though he and Dean were sharing a private joke. He knew Dean would have been grateful for that, because whatever was going on between Sam and this Rebecca, it seemed to be serious, and laughing loudly would have upset Sam, and then upset Dean, which was the last thing Castiel wanted.

He followed Dean into the next room, where his lover pulled him onto the sofa separating the two chairs that Sam and Rebecca were already occupying. Castiel stayed close, without touching his hunter, knowing that Dean would not want to be distracted if Sam needed his input. For a fleeting moment, Castiel felt like Sam was the other woman in Dean’s life, the person stopping his boyfriend from fully committing. And then the moment was gone, because after all, Castiel and Sam were friends too, and this Rebecca could take Dean’s mind off his brother as much, give Dean more time to consider the angel. Rebecca was a good thing.

‘You’re Jared?’ Rebecca asked, her voice pitching as she stared at Sam. Castiel wondered if either of them had even noticed himself or Dean. He felt a perverse need to pounce on Dean, to kiss him and touch him in a way he would never agree on in front of his brother, just to see if they would garner any attention. Sam was smoothing his hair down with his hands.

‘I was trying not to get tapped by anyone else. I wanted to tell you my real name, but it was risky. And since when do you go by Rebecca?’

Rebecca frowned, her mouth pouting slightly as she answered, her tone pointed.

‘Since I had to re-evaluate my life after I nearly made a deal with a crossroads demon.’

There was a silence that seemed to fill the room after Rebecca said that. It seemed uncomfortable, and Castiel couldn’t understand why. Unless Sam and Dean were concerned with the deal that Rebecca almost made? They seemed to know what she was referring to. Castiel could at least tell that Rebecca hadn’t made the deal. He wondered idly what she would have tried to barter for, as Dean started speaking.

‘Why’d you pick Jared Padackles anyway?’

Castiel looked at Dean, grateful for the excuse to do so.

‘That’s not how you said it outside.’ He tried to flirt. Dean grinned back, letting Castiel spur him on.

‘Yeah well, it’s Polish or something. Padacockles?’

‘Padalecki.’ Sam’s tone put an end to the banter, though he still answered Dean, albeit grudgingly. ‘I don’t know, because online dating was out of the ordinary for me, and so was that universe?’ Sam turned back to Rebecca, his expression softening slightly. ‘Okay, so you didn’t know it was me. But you could have let me know it was you.’

Rebecca tucked her hands underneath her thighs, squaring her shoulders and sighing loudly.

‘I’m not the same Becky, okay Sam? What you said to me, when we were married, it got to me. Like I said, I re-evaluated my life. And besides, what difference would it make? Or do you gossip with all your hunter buddies?’

Castiel looked at Dean the moment Rebecca said the word “married”. Sam had been married to this woman? Why had Dean not mentioned it outside? Castiel felt he could have said something before they walked in. He understood, on a very basic level, how there could be so much tension between Sam and Rebecca, but he was disappointed. Rebecca seemed like a pure soul, a well-meaning person, she didn’t deserve the hostility that Castiel could feel emanating from Dean and Sam.

Rebecca pulled a hand out from under her leg, pointing at Castiel, nearly accidentally catching Dean’s face as she carried on speaking.

‘And who is this guy, anyway?’

‘Castiel.’ Sam answered abruptly, as though Rebecca would instantly know who he was. Castiel saw her eyes widen, her mouth pull, and he realised that she did know something. Was it something Sam had shared when they were married? Why were they not married now? Sam interrupted Castiel’s musings. ‘But can we not go off topic here?’

There was another awkward silence, loaded with an emotion Castiel couldn’t fully interpret. Dean was once again the first person to break the quiet by turning to Sam and attempting to sound jovial.

‘So … should Cas and me go and find a motel or something? You come and find us later?’

Rebecca answered, slightly sullenly.

‘You can stay here. There’s nowhere to stay around here, not really. I promise, no funny business. My spare room’s upstairs, second door on the left. First one’s the bathroom. One of you can take the couch, it’s a sofa bed. And whoever’s left will have to make do with an air bed-‘

‘I don’t sleep,’ Castiel interrupted her. ‘It’s fine.’

Rebecca looked at him curiously, as though his lack of sleep had sparked her interest, but she didn’t ask him any questions, remaining firm and polite. Castiel felt disappointed that she wasn’t letting the sunny personality he could sense show. He wanted to talk to her more, without Dean and Sam making her feel that she had to compromise herself.

‘Well, if it’s okay, I’d appreciate you and Dean giving me and Sam a little bit of space here. If that’s okay?’

She was looking at Sam, and Castiel understood that before he could talk with this woman, she had to try to clear the air with Sam, at least a little. And there was the opportunity to do so, if they were all staying in her house. Dean patted Castiel’s knee, distracting him from Rebecca as he savoured the feel of Dean’s warm palm through his slacks.

‘Come on, find the spare room with me.’ Dean said in a low voice, before turning to Rebecca, talking to her in an unusually terse way. ‘No poisoning us as we sleep, or chaining us down, or being weird with my brother-‘

Castiel didn’t quite understand why Dean felt the need to make such threats, and nor, it seemed, did Sam, as he interrupted Dean’s big brother routine in a clipped voice.

‘Dean.’

Dean immediately stopped, nodded once, and grabbed Castiel’s sleeve, standing up and walking out of the room, knowing that Castiel would willingly follow. The angel let Dean navigate up the stairs, and into the room that Rebecca had indicated, the door closed behind them, before he began voicing his surprise at the conversation they had just witnessed.

‘Sam was married?’

Dean looked around at Castiel, rolling his eyes.

‘It’s a long story, Cas.’

Castiel just stared at his lover, who slid his arms around Castiel’s waist, stepping close and resting their foreheads against one another. Castiel appreciated the gesture, the sense of intimacy, but he didn’t want to be distracted by Dean’s physicality. He kept his own arms limp by his sides, knowing that Dean would notice. It worked, as Dean rushed an explanation.

‘It was only for a couple of weeks, and he was given some kind of love potion. Some demon was working on Becky. As soon as the stuff wore off, he got it annulled. There’s nothing to tell.’

Castiel wanted to press for more details, like how a demon could get their hands on love potion, what could possibly have happened to make Rebecca feel the need to administer it to Sam, why Sam wouldn’t give such a sweet girl a chance after the potion had worn off. But he had a feeling that Dean disliked the girl. Besides, it was probably best to ask her for the details. Castiel stuck to the basics.

‘When did it happen?’

Dean began grazing Castiel’s hip, caressing it with his palm, as though he was hoping he could distract Castiel from his thoughts by becoming sexual. If Castiel had been a lesser being, he considered, that tactic may have worked. Dean seemed to understand that Castiel wasn’t going to cave to his expert touch.

‘When we thought the Leviathan had killed you. And when we found you, there was too much other stuff going on. Sam’s biggest fan trying to con him seemed like the least important thing to tell.’

Castiel felt bad then, that his silence was pressurising Dean into blurting this information. He must have just forgotten in light of other things. Like when Sam was losing his mind. He stopped resisting Dean so much, pressing his hip against Dean’s palm, which seemed to prompt Dean into speaking again.

‘And anyway, they’re going to be hashing this out for a while, and in the meantime, we have a room to ourselves.’

Dean smirked briefly, before bending his head and kissing Castiel firmly on his mouth. Castiel tentatively stroked his hands up Deans arms, massaging his biceps as the hunter stepped even closer, pressing their bodies together, their lips and tongue moving in a way that was now so familiar, so much a part of them, that Castiel was having trouble remembering a life before Dean would allow him, even encourage him, to have this kind of contact. Dean started bearing down, making Castiel move backwards, as they heard footsteps on the stairs. At the sound, Dean took a step backwards, breaking the kiss off immediately, removing his hands from Castiel’s hips, which still burned from where his touch had been. Castiel wondered if Dean felt guilty, or ashamed on some level. That wasn’t helpful in the face of everything Castiel had to deal with from the other angels.

Rebecca walked into the room, clutching a stack of towels, looking sadly between the two men, and Castiel felt the urge to comfort her, to make her soul shine again somehow. But once again, she remained straight-faced, and talked only about the specifics at hand, rather than anything Castiel was actually curious about.

‘If you need a shower or anything, there’s these. I asked Sam if angels showered, but he didn’t really answer, so there’s enough here for the both of you. Sam said it’s okay if you want to stay in here, he’ll take the sofa bed.’

Castiel felt his heart swell again, over the fact she was concerned about what he would need. And she knew he was an angel, without being surprised about the fact. How could Sam and Dean be so sour towards her? He could feel her watching him as she placed the towels on a chair just inside the room and turned to leave. Dean surprised Castiel when he felt compelled to call out to her as she left.

‘Hey, Becky?’ She turned to look at him sadly, her only acknowledgement of the fact he had spoken. ‘You know, when you’re like this, you’re not so bad.’

She frowned momentarily, before nodding and leaving the room, and Castiel felt a pain in his chest. How could Dean prefer this girl to the one being stifled? Castiel sat on the bed, trying to understand, and failing to do so. He wanted to make it right for Rebecca, somehow. And who knew, maybe the other angels would be more considerate of his choice to be with Dean if he could show that level of compassion.

‘Hey, what’s up?’ Dean broke through his thoughts as he pushed Castiel’s legs apart, standing between them, and grabbing Castiel’s hand to place firmly on his butt. Castiel tried to think how he could express what he was feeling.

‘That girl seems sad.’

‘Well, yeah, I guess.’

Castiel could hear Dean’s confusion, and he knew the hunter didn’t understand how affected he was by Sam’s ex-wife. He tried again.

‘She must have really loved Sam, to try and get him to marry her.’

There was a pause as Castiel realised that Dean might have misunderstood that as a hint. In reality, Castiel had no real opinions about matrimony, he was merely grateful to have Dean as a lover.

‘Maybe.’ Dean’s answer was abrupt, but then he began scratching a Castiel’s scalp again, dragging his fingers along lazily, and Castiel couldn’t help but respond, sinking into his touch, even as Dean carried on talking. ‘But right now, I want to focus on you.’

Castiel felt Dean’s fingers trace around to frame his chin, tilting his face up so that they could kiss again, while one hand was still scratching Castiel’s head. And Castiel was craving Dean just as much, but he felt too upset for Rebecca, who was being kind enough to let them stay over. Of course, Dean noticed.

‘Cas? I’ve been waiting all day for this.’

‘No you haven’t. You only remembered agreeing to go out with me a little over an hour ago, and we already made out and had oral sex.’

Cas didn’t mean to sound so inconsiderate as he spoke, or to argue with Dean. He was preoccupied. Dean stopped trying to kiss him, and spoke slowly, patiently, though Castiel could sense his frustration.

‘Yeah, and Sam was there both times, this is our first chance to be alone. And I wanted you around before you gave me my memories back. Like on some level my body still remembered you.’

Castiel had that thought before, but he didn’t appreciate being reminded of removing Dean’s memories. Was taking them something similar to what Rebecca had done to Sam while he was being administered love potion? And yet Dean was touching him intimately, and Sam was at the very least understanding about their relationship, but he was no better than the woman being treated with borderline contempt. Castiel had never wanted intimacy less with Dean than at the moment he realised that.

‘I think I know how Becky feels.’

Dean seemed taken aback by Castiel speaking his feelings. And then Dean went and made the situation worse.

‘Cas, no. You have me, right? No angel mojo needed, I’m yours.’

If only Dean knew the truth. Castiel sighed, and looked up at the man he loved, trying to keep his expression neutral.

‘You’re right. Sorry.’

And with supreme effort, he raised one hand up off of Dean’s backside, closing his fingers around Dean’s neck and pulling him closer for a kiss, Dean responding instantly, applying all his weight onto Castiel to make him lay down, stretching his legs out so that he was straddling Castiel, their groins rubbing together, Dean’s hand still lost in Castiel’s hair as he worked the scalp. Their breathing became more laboured, and Castiel could already feel Dean’s erection, hard and demanding against his own. Just for once, Castiel wished Dean would express himself verbally, rather than physically. He slid his hands along Dean’s torso, and up against his chest, knowing that the hunter wouldn’t appreciate what Castiel was about to do or say.

He gave a measured push, and managed to lift Dean away from him, just too far out of reach to continue kissing, close enough to avoid rejecting him, or accidentally throwing him across the room. He had to be short and to-the-point.

‘Dean? I’m not in the mood for sex tonight.’

‘I already got that, Cas. But I need some kind of connection.’

Castiel nodded, because of course Dean would see it that way. He lowered Dean back down onto him, but didn’t move his hands from Dean’s chest as their lips met once again. He could feel Dean moving against him, insistent and urgent, could feel in the way Dean’s tongue traced his teeth that the hunter wanted something that, at that moment, Castiel couldn’t manage. He did his best to match Dean’s enthusiasm, but he knew that his lover could sense the difference. Finally, Dean rolled off of Castiel, and without looking at him, he tugged off his shirt and jeans, folding them and placing them on a nearby dresser and crawling into the bed, mindful not to kick Castiel as he wriggled down the bed. There was an awkward pause as Castiel processed Dean’s sudden u-turn.

‘Dean?’

Dean left a long pause before he answered.

‘Yeah?’

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘No. Are you mad at me?’ Dean wasn’t convincing, at all. Castiel tried to put his concerns about Rebecca out of his mind, to focus on someone much more important. Was it really so difficult to allow Dean to touch him the way Dean wanted, after all?

‘Of course not.’ Castiel tried to sound assuring. He made himself stand, and removed his clothes with his angel powers, before climbing into the bed beside Dean. He knew with Dean that words weren’t enough, he would have to show it. And sure enough, Dean was watching his every movement with that hungry look in his eyes. Castiel found himself explaining further as he slid under the covers, resting his head on the unoccupied pillow. ‘I just have a lot on my mind.’

‘Yeah? Like what?’ Dean sounded interested. Castiel made the lights in the room turn off, and sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. Hadn’t Dean been paying any attention?

‘You know,’ Dean began, reaching across the bed and toying with a lock of Castiel’s hair, rubbing the strands and twisting his fingers around the section as he spoke quietly. ‘When you’re in a relationship with someone, you tell them when something’s bothering you. The whole point is that you have someone you can spill your problems to. I’m meant to be on your side Cas.’

Castiel knew what Dean was trying to say, but hadn’t Castiel been trying to do that? And Dean had been disregarding it. And more than that, was Dean saying he was open to knowing about his confrontation with Vibeke? To know what Meg had threatened? To know how risky their relationship truly was? Could he even admit to removing Dean’s memories? He turned to look at Dean in the dark, his already husky voice thickening with emotion as he spoke.

‘You make it sound so easy.’

‘It’s not easy, Cas. It’s a relationship. And you wanted one.’ Dean pointed out.

‘The reality is very different to my observations.’

Dean seemed to hesitate before replying. When he did, he confused Castiel even more.

‘Cas? Are you breaking up with me?’

Castiel noticed the concern in Dean’s voice, as though he wanted nothing less than to end their relationship, but had Castiel really been putting out signals that could be interpreted in that way?

‘No Dean, of course not. There’s just a lot more to relationships than I first thought.’

Dean moved over slightly, leaning on an elbow, and running his hand through Castiel’s chest hair, looking back at Castiel as though they could make out each other’s expressions in the gloom.

‘It sounds like you’re regretting us.’

Again, Castiel heard his concern. But how could Dean think that? He tried to make it clear, to reiterate the points he’d been making earlier.

‘I’m not. I would never, Dean. I’m thinking of your brother.’

Dean shifted even closer, laying against Castiel’s chest, one leg wrapping around the angel’s. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean too, surprised that the hunter would need reassurance the way he was indicating, but cherishing the feel of the hunter’s skin against his own. Dean shut down the topic of Sam and Rebecca again.

‘Sam knows what he’s doing. Are you going to stay here all night?’

Castiel gave up trying to make his point. Dean would listen when he was ready, and in the mean time, Castiel was going to enjoy the idea of laying in bed with Dean as he slept again.

‘Of course Dean. If that’s what you want.’

Castiel kissed the hunter’s forehead tenderly. Dean sounded sleepy when he responded this time.

‘I want you, Cas.’

Castiel embraced the words, wishing he could have Dean say them again and again, as he pulled Dean closer against him. Dean nuzzled his head into the nape of Castiel’s neck, his fingers still sliding through Castiel’s chest hair though their were beginning to slow, and he became heavy against Castiel. And the angel began humming a song he had heard somewhere, a long time ago, though he had no idea what song it was. It seemed to help send Dean to sleep though, and Castiel was grateful for that. He wanted the time to think, and though he loved Dean to a terrifying degree, Dean didn’t seem to understand what he needed, not right then.

*

Castiel stayed in bed with Dean all night, as promised, thinking continuously about Rebecca, and Vibeke, and Meg. At least Dean was uncomplicated in comparison to the women he knew. But the one currently in the same house with them seemed the least complicated of the three, which Castiel decided could be attributed to the fact that she was human. He could also link some of her disposition to Sam’s presence.

As soon as the sun began to rise, Castiel slipped out from underneath Dean’s prone form, slipped on one of Dean’s shirts, and left the room quietly, hoping that Rebecca was an early riser so that they could talk before Dean and Sam were awake and stifling her.

He found her in the kitchen, in a cartoon shirt and matching pants, clutching a mug with both hands and staring into the distance. He knew that humans didn’t appreciate sudden noises, or being touched when they were thinking deeply. But they also didn’t like it when you stood there and said nothing. As Castiel was trying to work out the best way to approach her, she spoke.

‘Couldn’t sleep either, huh?’

‘I don’t sleep,’ Castiel reminded her gently, taking that as his cue to sit opposite her at the kitchen island. She brushed her hair out of her face.

‘Sorry, I thought you were Sam or Dean.’

‘Sorry to disappoint you.’

Rebecca took a sip of her drink, eyeing him carefully, and Castiel decided to lead the conversation.

‘Dean mentioned briefly about how you married Sam, but he didn’t really want to talk about it. Do you mind?’

Rebecca put her mug down, still clutching it, and cocked her head at him.

‘I’m not surprised Dean didn’t want to talk about it, they probably forgot all about me the second they left.’

‘Well, I’m sorry that happened. You seem like a nice person.’

Rebecca smiled weakly, before taking another sip of her drink.

‘I’m sure nice people don’t get duped by demons calling themselves Wiccan. Nice people don’t drug the guy they like in order to get married.’

Castiel sat forward.

‘Anyone can get duped by a demon. Even I have. Even Sam and Dean have. You shouldn’t feel bad for that. And I said to Dean that you must really care about Sam to go to those lengths to keep him.’

Rebecca didn’t understand that Castiel was, at least in part, referring to himself. That was his excuse for wiping Dean’s memory after all, wasn’t it? Going to any lengths to be with the man he loved. Rebecca leaned forward herself.

’That’s what I told myself. When I read the books, Sam seemed so relatable. I mean, he was trying to be normal and the world wouldn’t let him, and then all that stuff happened with that bitch Ruby and he was worried about being a freak and I’ve always been told I was a freak. I mean, it sounded so right, especially when Chuck told me they were real, but reality …’ she took another sip of her drink, and while she was being so open, Castiel took a risk and decided to be just as straight with her.

‘I understand. I never thought I would ever be able to relate to a human, and then they sent me into Hell to save Dean’s soul, made me convey messages to him whenever my superiors needed to utilise him. But then I spoke to Dean, had him ask me questions, and I realised that everyone in my Garrick was wrong about humans. Dean’s showed me a lot of humanity, he’s helped me see the world through human eyes. But we’re very different, even without me being an angel.’

‘It’s not the same thing,’ Rebecca shook her hair out of her face again. ‘But Sam told me I was a good person, and that the right person for me was out there, and then I started internet dating, and finally, there was this guy, this wonderful man who listened to me and cared, and he understood me and he knew so much and I couldn’t believe he was real. Only it turns out, he wasn’t real, because it was still Sam.’

‘Maybe that’s the only time it was real,’ Castiel pointed out kindly. ‘When Sam didn’t have to worry about you knowing everything about his life from a series of books written by a prophet, when you asked him questions instead of telling him. Give him some time, Sam’s not unreasonable.’

‘Even if Sam did come around, Dean would have something to say.’

Castiel smiled, hoping that he wasn’t going to overstep his boundaries in one sentence.

‘Leave Dean to me, he’ll come around. He listens to what I have to say as well.’

Rebecca gave him a weak smile, and Castiel pushed his boundaries some more. Talking about Dean in this way had reminded him of a conversation they had right at the beginning of their relationship discussions, and still nothing had come of it. Rebecca would help him, surely?

‘Rebecca, do you have a way of making coffee?’

‘Uh, yeah, the percolator’s there. I just made some.’

‘Could you show me how to make it?’

Rebecca actually laughed, her entire face lighting up as she did so.

‘You can help yourself, Castiel!’

‘I wanted to make some for Dean. It’s a private thing.’

‘Okay.’ She grinned with an enthusiasm that matched her soul, and stood up, nodding her head over to the coffee pot. ‘By the way, you should call me Becky.’

‘Thank you. Becky.’

He paid attention as she talked her way through using the pot, pouring a drink from the liquid already inside, and sneaking small smiles at him when he wasn’t looking, though she never mentioned what she was thinking. As soon as she finished the pouring, Sam walked into the kitchen, and they both looked around at the same time to smile at him.

‘Hey, what’re you two up to?’

‘I’m showing Castiel how to be human. He asked.’

Sam nodded, his demeanour more friendly than it had been the night before.

‘He usually asks Dean, feel honoured. Hey, um, you wanna carry on talking?’

Rebecca nodded, and followed Sam out of the room, turning at the doorway to smile at Castiel, raising a thumb in her excitement. Castiel smiled back, and then began making coffee the way she had shown him, making it as strong as he thought Dean would appreciate. He poured it into another cup, and felt two strong arms circle his waist, as someone pressed close behind him, and nuzzled into his ear. He smiled, knowing there was only one person on the planet who he would want to do that.

‘And why did I wake up without you this morning?’ Dean sounded alert, and flirty. Castiel put the coffee pot down, and picked up the mug he’d poured, hoping Dean would remember, and understand. But for good measure, Castiel turned his head to kiss Dean gently, and then offered up the drink.

‘Because I thought you’d sleep in a little longer. I was going to bring the coffee up.’

‘You made me coffee?’ Dean sounded surprised as he took the mug, but from the way he tightened his hold on Castiel, the angel knew he understood the gesture. Castiel turned around in Dean’s arms as the hunter left the cup on the sideboard, and stroked Castiel’s face, looking at his lover intently. Castiel mustered a smile back, trying not to hope for too much from Dean, not after the misunderstanding the night before.

‘Is it too early to be making you coffee?’

‘No Cas. Perfect timing.’

And then Dean’s lips were catching at Castiel’s, softly, tentatively, and Castiel kissed back with an enthusiasm to make up for the night before. Castiel wanted to believe, more than ever, that he and Dean were on the same page, that Dean understood the coffee gesture. The kisses were the good kind, Castiel decided. Kisses that were slow, and searching, full of emotion, kisses that were accompanied by fingers threaded together, not with an urgency that demanded their clothes be shed. He rubbed his hands in circles on Dean’s lower back, as Dean’s fingers tickled his face. Castiel wondered if Dean had noticed that he was wearing the hunter’s shirt, especially as Dean was topless.

Castiel would have gladly stayed like that with Dean all day, but unfortunately they weren’t alone in the house, and he was only reminded of that fact as Becky walked into the room, talking quickly.

‘Yeah, well, it’s a little awkward with my ex-husband here …’

Cas drew back from the kiss, despite Dean’s insistent lips, worried that Becky would become uncomfortable, seeing them together. He could see her, just past Dean’s head, staring open-mouthed, holding her phone in front of her.

‘Oh my God. Charlie, I’m going to have to call you back.’

A voice from the phone rang out loudly across the kitchen, a female voice just as bubbly as Becky’s.

‘Uh-uh, with a face like that, you’re going to have to show me what’s ending the call. Come on, don’t hold out on me.’

Dean turned around at that comment as Becky turned her phone around, stepping closer, and Castiel noticed the pretty red-head on the phone’s screen, looking surprised as she took in the scene before her.

‘Dean?’ She squealed excitedly, and Castiel felt a wave of envy wash over him.

‘Hey Charlie. What’s up?’ Dean sounded casual, like he hadn’t just been caught making out with another male in Becky’s kitchen.

‘Apparently, you got yourself a boyfriend, that’s what’s up! Girlfriend, where’ve you been? Okay, Becky, I have to come over!’

‘Charlie,’ Becky admonished, eyeing Dean warily, though Dean seemed oblivious. Becky carried on, assuming that Charlie would be listening. ‘It’s not a good idea, not with Sam-‘

‘Dean, you want me to visit, right?’ Charlie interrupted. Dean laughed, and snuggled back into Castiel’s arms, nuzzling his head against the angel again.

‘Sure, Char.’

‘Good, because you and me need a major session of gossiping about your boy toy. Becky, it’s decided, I’m coming. Don’t worry, Sam loves me too. I mean, Dean loves me more … catch you soon!’

Charlie’s picture disappeared off the screen, leaving it covered in small squares instead. Becky tucked the phone into her pocket in the strained silence that followed, and Castiel wondered if there was going to be an argument between Dean and Becky, since Dean had basically invited the girl on the phone to her house. In the tense atmosphere, Dean grabbed his drink, and still pressing close to Castiel, he half-turned to look at Becky.

‘So, how do you know Charlie?’

‘Oh, she emailed me a few months ago, wanting to know more about you and your brother. Told me it was crazy but you were real. I said I knew that, and she said how you basically got her fired from her job.’

‘And saved her life!’ Dean said indignantly. Becky nodded, as though that were an unimportant detail. Castiel thought it was, really. That was Dean’s job, but it was still something he held close to his heart, which was what made it important. And that was why Dean felt the need to make the point.

‘Yeah, she said that too. I was always a little jealous that she talked about you like you all got along great, but she’s so nice, I couldn’t help liking her.’

‘Yeah, Charlie does that to you.’

Becky nodded again, and then waved her hand between the two men, her intrigue flaring in her eyes, though out of respect for Dean’s normal demeanour, she managed not to squeal in excitement.

‘So, what’s this? I mean, I’ve read the books, I know about your “profound bond” and I asked Chuck what was in it when all these Destiel fans appeared out of nowhere-‘

‘Excuse you?’ Dean interrupted, his voice not amused. Becky shook her head, the spark dulling.

‘Never mind.’

‘What’s a desert elle?’ Castiel asked, knowing that he had mispronounced the word she had used.

‘Destiel. They merged your names together. Like Brangelina.’

Castiel didn’t know who Brangelina was, or what it was, but he tried merging his name with Dean’s, and smiled as he did so, cocking his head and accidentally nudging Dean’s cheek.

‘Oh, like Dean-and-Castiel. That’s clever.’

Castiel was rewarded by a huge smile from Becky, who suddenly started barraging him with questions. Castiel guessed that she felt more relaxed around him after their brief conversation slightly earlier. He preferred it though, she finally seemed as warm as her soul had indicated, with an incredible thirst for knowledge.

‘So, you’re an angel, right? Do you have magic powers? Do you have you know … can you two …’

She flicked her finger back-and-forth between Dean and Castiel, as though that would indicate what she couldn’t convey verbally. Castiel didn’t understand, was she asking whether they had permission to be together? How could Becky tell, and Dean never thought to wonder?

‘I mean, in the books, Dean had sex with Anna,’ Becky continued without prompting, and Castiel looked at Dean as it dawned on him what Becky was actually asking about. She made her point firmly by continuing to babble about other angels. ‘So that means there must be something going on … there, or was Dean right in the books when he called Uriel junkless?’

Dean was glaring at Becky.

‘That’s none of your business, Becky,’ Dean’s voice was strained with barely concealed anger. ‘And just a tip, you wanna get in Sam’s good books? You don’t mention anything written by Carver Edlund. Ever.’

Becky’s face dropped, and she pouted as Castiel watched her soul dim slightly. He felt compelled to say something again to Dean, and this time he would make him listen.

‘I get it, Dean. Sorry for being excited for the two of you. You seem really sweet together. But I get it, I wasn’t meant to see it, don’t tell Sam, it’s fine.’

She left the room, and Dean sipped from his coffee, looking down into the mug, trying not to look at Castiel, who was feeling more upset on Becky’s behalf the longer that Dean stalled. As soon as Dean’s mug was put on the sideboard, clearly empty, Castiel decided to bring it up.

‘Dean-‘

‘It was a long time ago.’ Dean snapped back, already defensive. Castiel realised he was talking about Becky mentioning Anna, but Castiel was long past that. Even at the time, Anna hadn’t mattered compared to Sam and himself.

‘I wasn’t thinking about Uriel and Anna. I was thinking that you were nice to the girl on the phone, but you were harsh when you were talking to Becky. That’s not fair.’

‘Charlie’s like a little sister to me.’ Dean still sounded defensive, and Castiel merely shrugged. To him, that didn’t excuse the way Dean had spoken to Becky.

‘Have you been talking with Becky?’ Dean’s tone was becoming accusing, and Castiel began to worry that they were about to fight. He tried to calm down, and change his tone as he answered.

‘When she was showing me how to use the coffee pot. I think you and Sam misunderstand her, and underestimate her. Give her a chance.’

Dean’s response was to hold Castiel’s chin gently between a thumb and finger, and tilt his face up slightly, kissing Castiel softly. As though that were enough to end the discussion.

‘For you.’ Dean conceded quietly. ‘And for the record? You make a mean coffee.’

As grateful as Castiel was for Dean agreeing to at least try to be civil to Becky, he was confused by what Dean had said about the drink. He was assuming it was a compliment. He could taste a trace of it on Dean’s tongue as the hunter kissed him again, pulling closer as he did though they were already pressed against one another.

‘So I can do it again?’ Castiel tried to check, though he couldn’t escape Dean’s kisses and had to ask with Dean’s lips pressed against his own.

‘Please. Like, every morning.’

Castiel found himself laughing, and Dean reached down, grabbing both of his legs and tugging them up until Castiel found himself being supported wholly by Dean pressing him against the sideboard, his legs wrapped around the thick torso of his lover. Dean carried on whispering, their mouths still colliding as their pulses began to race.

‘Stop trying to turn me on. I’m going to have to take you upstairs and screw you.’

Castiel looked around quickly, noting that they were alone in the room. He decided to put the debate behind them, and make it up to Dean after not being responsive the night before. He looked his lover in the eyes and smiled in what he hoped was a flirty way.

‘How are you going to screw me, Dean? I don’t think I understand the process.’

Dean looked surprised, and baffled, but then he smiled back, nuzzling closer so that only Castiel would be able to hear.

‘I’m going to carry you upstairs, slowly, probably bumping into the walls all the time because we’ll be kissing so hard the tip of my tongue will be in your stomach. And we’re barely going to make it into the spare room-‘

Castiel reached over and bit gently on Dean’s earlobe, knowing that it was one of Dean’s weak spots. Sure enough, Dean groaned loudly in response.

‘And then what, Dean? I’m still hazy,’ Castiel whispered, licking up into Dean’s ear, feeling the hunter shake with desire as he pushed him harder against the counter. The faux-marble bit into Castiel’s thighs and should have been painful, but somehow it wasn’t, not with Dean. It just seemed to goad them both further.

‘And then we’re going to fall in a heap on the floor and tear at each other’s clothes until we’re naked, and things are going to get hazy, and sweaty, and we’re both going to struggle to breathe but we won’t give a shit because we’ll be together, skin on skin, kissing each other like the world’s going to end. And then you’ll start working down my body-‘

‘Other way around.’ Castiel decided recklessly, biting down on Dean’s earlobe again. He wondered for a moment if Dean would still let him take charge like this, and Dean’s response dissolved his fleeting concern.

‘Okay, so I’ll be kissing down your neck, biting hard, hoping to cover you in hickeys. I’ll cover every inch of skin I can, wanting to taste you, to savour you, even as you’re pushing my head down because you’re so needy, so desperate for me that you don’t want to wait.’

Castiel moaned this time, picturing so clearly everything that Dean was describing. He kissed down Dean’s ear, and just behind his jawline, loving the way Dean’s knees seemed to buckle before he pulled himself together. Somehow, Dean managed to concentrate enough to continue.

‘And then I get to your dick, and you’re trying to tell me what to do with your hands, but I’m ignoring you, because this isn’t about getting you off straight away, this is about worshipping every inch of your body. And I know you’re going to love it when I take my time, kissing and licking every inch of you, one of my hands working your balls, the other hand working your ass, and you’re going to start shaking because every fibre of your being, every fibre of mine, is going to be concentrating on your dick.’

‘Dean, stop talking,’ Castiel breathed, no longer able to stand Dean’s words without some kind of action. He started kissing Dean enthusiastically, and the hunter seemed to understand his intentions. Somehow, with a strength Castiel didn’t know Dean possessed, he carried him through the house, stopping often to press the angel up against a wall or a doorframe, their mouths persistent, their tongues urgent. They had just reached the base of the stairs, and Dean was using the handrail as a support, when they heard a loud, exasperated groan behind them, and Sam’s voice broke through their sexually-charged bubble.

‘Can you two not keep it in your pants for twenty-four hours?’

‘Mmmm, I would, but we have a lot of lost time to catch up on.’ Dean muttered, still not breaking his connection with Castiel’s mouth.

‘You’re animals.’ Sam announced, before trying to appeal to their compassionate sides. ‘Look, this is hard enough with Becky, without you two acting like teenagers, can you please tone it down?’

Castiel reluctantly stopped kissing Dean to look Sam in the eye. Sam seemed annoyed, but not angry, and Castiel was high on the feelings that his lover was stirring in him.

‘Dean’s made me a promise. He has to keep it.’

Sam rolled his eyes, and pushed back his hair.

‘Yeah, okay, I get it, you’re both on heat. Please, just not in Becky’s house, not right now.’

‘I understand Sam, but I really can’t hear you right now,’ Castiel shrugged callously, and looked at Dean, whose expression was a little dazed. ‘You were taking me back to our room?’

Dean turned his head to look at Sam, the dazed look still on his face, and they stared at each other before Sam relented.

‘Stay in that room, and keep it down. I don’t want to know.’

Sam walked back into the sitting room, calling for Becky, and Castiel grabbed Dean’s face, forcing another kiss onto his lover. Dean reacted straight away, kissing back with abandon, carrying Castiel up the stairs, pressing him against the walls as Castiel’s hands roamed around Dean’s body. Somehow, they made it back into the spare room, where Dean kicked the door closed behind them and rushed to the bed, pulling his shirt off of Castiel the second he bounced on the mattress. Castiel reached for Dean’s jeans, undoing the button as they kissed ferociously and Dean reached his hands into Castiel’s underwear, onto his butt, squeezing so hard that Castiel wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t pull them out again.

He tugged down the jeans, and Dean’s underwear, which Dean helped to kick off before bearing down on Castiel, one hand still firmly on Castiel’s ass as the other came around to the front, kneading and massaging Castiel’s penis, and Castiel could barely think, could barely concentrate as he gave in to Dean’s expert touch.

‘Dean,’ he said through gritted teeth, unable to kiss back further. And Dean began kissing along his neck in the way he loved, and he began talking rapidly, breathlessly, lost in the throes of passion. ‘I love you, Dean, I love you so much, that feels so good. Don’t stop, please don’t stop.’

‘I know Cas, I know baby, I won’t, I won’t, you taste so good,’ Dean muttered back, still pumping his hand around Castiel as he kissed Castiel’s neck urgently, and Castiel zapped his pants off, before pushing his hands down, grabbing Dean’s hand and Dean’s penis too, securing Dean’s hand around both of them, and his own two hands around Dean, their hips moving with their hands, their breathing loud and laboured, and Dean stopped kissing Castiel’s neck to look up at them.

There was something shocking yet intimate about looking into Dean’s eyes as they touched each other in this way, at seeing the feral expression on Dean’s face until it transformed into a state of uncontrolled bliss, and Castiel’s stomach was covered once again with a warm liquid that came from Dean. This time, there didn’t seem to be anything sordid about it, instead it was a private moment between two lovers.

‘That’s all for you, Cas,’ Dean whispered. Castiel could barely concentrate, as something built inside his own vessel and he too came all over their bodies, smiling weakly at Dean as he did so. They looked at each other steadily as they lay in the aftermath, their hands still wrapped around their genitalia. Castiel felt relaxed, and so close to Dean at that moment, that he could have stayed like that forever. Dean chuckled quietly to himself before whispering to Castiel.

‘Cas? How do you take your coffee?’

Castiel found himself laughing, feeling so blissed out already and then having Dean ask him that. That Dean remembered, and realised what Castiel had been doing that morning sent his heart soaring. Dean might not have said he loved Castiel yet, but that was the next best thing.


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