You Are Not Alone

High Road

It had been a few days since Alex had woken up in her room at the mansion and Ororo and Hank, the only people who can hold their own when she was angry, had told her everything. Alex couldn’t help but to feel furious; infuriated with them for not dragging her back from Mexico to help, angry at her father for deciding to leave her out, and irritated at her self for not being here when they had obviously needed her, and she berated herself in an act to be left alone to wallow in self pity. Once finding out that the Professor was somewhere under the mansion, Alex had tried several times to find her father’s mind in the underground catacombs, but couldn’t seem to find him at all, despite him being in a coma, she should at least feel something!

Dammit! Picking up the lamp on the bedside table, Alex had flung the annoying thing to the opposite side of the room, enjoying the crash it had made as it shattered to pieces. Not to mention what had happened to Jean! UGH! I knew Jean was unstable before I left, and not only that, but I dragged her into my Scott problems! And I just left her here to fend for herself! What kind of friend does that?! Pacing fervently around her room, Alex couldn’t stop the angry tears that have been falling from her eyes in the past half hour. Demanding that she be left alone, no one had bothered to come check up on the young woman as she threw a fit in her room. Thinking back to before she left for Mexico, she could feel the growing power in Jean’s mind, but decided to ignore the gut feeling she was having as nothing more as anxiety for her trip.

Hadn’t it been Jean who had asked her for help on days when she was having trouble? Hadn’t it been her that had promised Jean that she would be there for her always like friends should? Hadn’t it been her that left everyone behind help make Mexico a friendlier place for both humans and mutants? But, somehow, that doesn’t make me feel any better. Picking up a book that was on her bookshelf, she had flung it towards her door, nearly hitting the rugged looking man that she had met briefly in Mexico before blacking out.

“Whoa, just thought I bring a peace offering.” Holding up a tray, Alex could clearly see vegetable lasagna with mash potatoes and a tall glass of what she assumed to be Pepsi sitting there innocently. Alex glared at the food, clearly knowing that Ororo was trying to say sorry through her favorite meal that she hadn’t had in a long time. Scoffing at the meal and not at the man, Alex knew that she was acting like a child, but at that moment, she didn’t really give a damn.

“I’m not hungry.” However, it was at that moment that her stomach had decided to betray her and let out a loud growl to disprove what she had just said. Switching her glare from the food to her stomach, Alex let the word ‘traitor’ leave her lips before she could catch it. Hearing chuckles, Alex looked at the man with a skeptical look trying to figure out why Ororo and Hank had let this man that she didn’t know bring her food when she was angry.

“Who are you and why did they make you bring me food?” She wasn’t angry with him, because she didn’t know him, but she clearly meant that she was clearly annoyed with Ororo and Hank. By seeing the small smirk on his face, Alex concluded that he knew whom she meant.

“The name’s Logan, and let’s just say I’m sort of indestructible so you don’t scare me at all kid.” Looking at him with an annoyed expression at being called a kid, Alex couldn’t help but let a dry chuckle leave her mouth. Isn’t that how she saw her father? And look where he is now; sleeping somewhere in the underground catacombs of the mansion.

“No offense, but the last man who I thought was indestructible is now in a coma and the world believes him to be dead.” Trying to fight back more of the tears that her body wouldn’t stop producing, Alex turned her back on the man and walked towards her window that over looked the mansion’s grounds. She could hear him placing the tray on the coffee table that was in her room, and not a second later, he was standing next to her at the window. Taking this chance to really get a look at him, Alex saw that he had semi long side burns with a five o’clock shadow, his physique was quite large compared to her tiny frame, and his stance clearly screamed ‘predator.’ Alex was quite curious about this mysterious man and felt her anger dissipating the longer she stood by him. Could that be his power? Making people feel calm around him? Snorting at the thought, Alex knew better.....Doubt it. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“So what can you do?” Feeling embarrassed about the wording of the question, Alex felt her cheeks burn at the look he was giving her. I can handle being in battle, in political meetings that want to tear your hair out, but I can’t handle a little Q&A with a Stanger? Hadn’t father drilled this into my brain since I was a child?

And here I thought you were reading my mind.” Letting out chuckles, Alex saw him relax his stance slightly and couldn’t help but feel confused about his statement.

“I’m sorry Sir—Logan, but I feel that is an invasion of privacy, and will do no such thing unless the situation calls for it.” Alex saw the surprise on his face and his body had completely dropped the predator stance that he was so fond of. He walked back to sit on the love sit that was sitting in one corner of her room, and he just stared at her. Feeling a bit squeamish, Alex resorted to sitting on her bed and returned the look that Logan was giving her, until he broke the silence.

“So you’re the Professor’s daughter huh?” Alex felt the confusion and curiosity swirl in the forefront of his mind but didn’t go any deeper; she did say that she wasn’t going to didn’t she?

“Yes I am. My name is Alexandria Xavier, but most call me Alex.” Matching his expression, Alex leaned a bit forward so as not to seem so intimidated.

“So are you done throwing your temper tantrum now?” Giver her an amused expression, Alex felt the blush creeping up her neck but fought to keep it down. Giving the man a murderous look, she responded.

“I think I have the right to throw a ‘temper tantrum,’ as you so kindly put it; my family has been torn apart, and I had no fucking idea! So if you would kindly get the hell out, I would like to be by myself.” Getting up from her spot on the bed, Alex resumed her position at the window, getting lost in memories that have long been forgotten.

“So you’re just going to stay in here and feel sorry for yourself? That’s a nice way to live.” This man was slowly but surely dissipating Alex’s last patience and she felt the hot tears starting to build once more. Turning back around, Alex looked at him with a stone cold look.

Get out.’ Alex didn’t know it, but she had telepathically told Logan to leave, sure signs that she was surely loosing whatever little control she had left.

“And if I don’t?” Standing up to her in defiance, Alex tried to reign in her emotions behind the tight hold she had them in. Calm down Alex. He’s riling you up…. and he’s fucking succeeding… Alex didn’t want to hurt him mentally, but she was contemplating the pros and cons if she did.

“I would have to do something I would rather not do.” Alex felt her eyes changing, slowly, going from her dull blue eyes to the dark red that she was familiar with. Alex didn’t really want to lose control, the last time she did caused a major drawback to the growing peace in Mexico a little more than a year ago. Stopping her mind from replaying the accident, Alex didn’t lower her gaze from Logan’s and felt a bit surprised when metal things started coming out from his hands.

“I like to see you try kid.” Alex saw the gleam of his ‘weapons’ shine when he raised them to eye level, and concluded that she felt no fear. Whatever he could do to her couldn’t be compared to what she dealt with in Mexico; hell, she had dealt with a mutant that had twisted her insides for hours without touching her physically and had puked blood for days after she was rescued. So what if he has sharp toys, it didn’t intimidate her in the slightest. Alex felt the familiar power growing in her chest, but didn’t want to give the man the privilege of seeing what she could do, even though she didn’t either. Finally taking a deep breath, Alex felt her eyes changing back to their normal color, and her stance slumped back into the wall beside the window. Not seeing the man relax from his stance, Alex found the whole situation hilarious.

“What’s so funny kid? You’re mind gone insane?” Alex had immediately tensed, that statement echoing in her mind and bothering her far greater than it should.

“Oh yes, my mind, after years of control, is slowly deteriorating from my grasp and I’m growing an alter ego that will threaten all of humanity.” “Alex didn’t miss the dark look that Logan sent her and she frankly didn’t care. What the hell does he know anyway? Jean was her friend since they were children; they grew up together, played together, and trained together. They knew each other’s secrets, and were practically sisters until Alex left.

“What? You think I didn’t understand that reference? You don’t think I’m hurting that my sister in everyway but blood had slowly gone insane and I wasn’t there to do anything about it? That my father shouldn’t have been the one in that coma, but that it should have been me instead? That I let the boy that I love go just so she could be happy with him? You don’t now anything about me Logan, I don’t need your bullshit! I spent two fucking years in Mexico, being tortured mentally, emotionally, and physically just so I can bring peace! Little did I know that my family was being torn apart from my very grasp and I had NO FUCKING CLUE! So yes, I am feeling sorry for myself, because I let everyone down! But you know what! Don’t talk to me like you know everything, and don’t talk like you know anything about Jean!”

And that was it; Alex had lost her control and had dived into Logan’s mind, churning and twisting it until he dropped to the ground in pain. Trying to breath to take her control back, Alex didn’t notice Ororo and Hank barging into the room as she ran out. Alex didn’t know where she was going, but she knew that she just had to get out! Running through the never-ending twists and turns of the halls in the mansion, Alex knew which ones to take to not bump into anyone and headed straight for the weeping willow a mile away from the school, as tears flowed freely as she ran.

“C’mon Lexi! You can’t be tired already?” Elevan year old Jean Gray had ran to the weeping willow a mile away from the school that they had discovered almost a month ago, her red long hair flowing freely in the wind. Eight-year-old Alex had tried desperately to keep up with her dear friend but she found it no use, she was too tired from the long trek.

“Wait up Jay! I’m tired!” Walking slowly to the tree that they grew to be very fond of, Alex saw Jean lying on the grass under the willow’s shade, looking through the branches up towards the sky. Alex soon collapsed next to her friend, gasping for breath as she just lay on her side, looking at the content face of her red haired friend. Finally turning on her back, Alex sighed contently before she had asked the question that was nagging at the back of her head for a while now.

“Jay?” Worried that her friend had fallen asleep, Alex felt happy when she heard a ‘hm’ of confirmation that Jean was indeed awake.

“Do you think we’ll be friends forever?” Alex saw Jean sit up in the corner of her eye, but didn’t turn her head in fear of what reaction she would have. After a moment of silence, Alex also sat up and bravely looked in Jean’s gray eyes.

“Why do you ask?” Alex looked down at the ground when she couldn’t stand to see the intensity in Jean’s stare that always seemed to be there.

“Well…my daddy says that people are stronger when they have people they care about to protect…and I want to be as strong as I can be! So I was hoping that you could be one of those special people…” Alex never felt so weird before, like little butterflies fluttering in her small stomach. Is this what daddy meant by when people are ner— nerv— nervous? Alex looked up suddenly when she heard her friend start to laugh. Alex didn’t know whether to be scared that Jean was going to decline, or angry that her friend found her words silly; until she spoke.

“Silly! You didn’t have to ask! We’re best friends! Of course we’re each others special people.” Jean had the biggest smile on her face that Alex had ever seen, and she felt her heart warm at her friend’s words. Sniffling back the tears, Alex smiled back at the red head.


“Promise.” And with those final words, the two friends had locked their pinkies together in the ever binding contract of a pinky swear.

Alex didn’t know how long she was sitting under that weeping willow, getting lost in the memories that she hadn’t thought about in such a long time. The blue-sky had durned dark a while ago, and Alex could now see each and every star almost perfectly. She knew that she had to go apologize to Logan for what she did, but somewhere deep in her heart, she couldn’t bring her self to do it. What the hell does he know anyway? Looking bitterly at the mansion in the not so far distance, Alex could feel the students drifting away to sleep, most of whom she didn’t know. I guess so much has changed…I wonder how have I changed… Being so deep in thought, Alex didn’t feel someone walking up behind her.

“Hey kid.” Whipping her head around so fast, Alex swore that she got whiplash, and was surprised to see Logan leaning on the trunk of the tree. When the fuck did he get there? Not looking away from the newcomer, Alex wanted to apologize, but couldn’t let the words come out of her mouth. Finally looking away, Alex ran a hand through her messy hair, wincing as her fingers came across a few knots.

“Look kid—“

“I’m sorry.” Cutting of whatever he was going to say, Alex came to the conclusion that she couldn’t feel sorry for herself anymore, she couldn’t keep running away. And she was going to start living her life again by starting with an apology that needed to be said.

“For what?” Not saying it in a taunting way she realized, Alex took in a big breath before letting it out slowly, gathering her thoughts together.

“For messing with your brain, for shouting, for throwing a temper tantrum, and most importantly, for running away. I didn’t know what I was doing half of the time when I was in Mexico, and I wanted to prove something to everyone that I could do it alone. That I could make a difference by myself. And when I couldn’t handle it, I almost lost my life….And I was just suppose to apologize for messing with your head. Sorry for putting everything else on you.” For the first time in a long time, Alex had felt that the weights on her shoulders almost disappear. It wasn’t completely gone, but it also wasn’t weighing her down to the Earth like it used to.

“As much as I don’t do this sappy chick flick crap, you don’t have to apologize for what you did. I was being kind of an ass anyways. And sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than someone you know personally. Plus, it’s kind of my job as a Professor here.” Seeing Logan shrug, Alex looked at the man with a new light, not believing that he was a professor at her father’s school, completely disregarding his so called, ‘sappy crap’ moment.

“Really? What do you teach?” Alex didn’t mean to sound so critical, but she loved her father’s school, and after being away for so long, Alex wanted to reconnect to her childhood home as much as possible.

“I’m one of the Senior Staff members and I teach students how to engage in battle.” Seeing him say it so offhand made Alex feel as if he didn’t care. But the look in his eyes, and the stiffness in his posture made Alex rethink her thoughts.

“One of? Which means there’s more…I guess I should make myself known with the rest of the school then.” Alex felt so defeated in that moment, and didn’t bother to shrug of Logan’s arm when he swung it around her shoulders.

“Tch kid, you make it seem so bad… C’mon, Ororo and Hank are worrying themselves to be old people looking for you.” Alex couldn’t help but throw her head back at the image of those two walking with canes and shaking them in the air calling out her name. Alex knew she was getting a weird look from Logan but she didn’t care, she didn’t want to let this happy feeling go. So what if I ran away to prove something? I’m back now, and I’m gong to set things right. Neither Alex nor Logan saw the man in a crisp black suit watching them from a distance, his expressionless face showing nothing.

“Sir, Xavier seems to have made a full recovery. Should we engage now?” The man was holding his wrist to his mouth, talking into the microphone that he knew was there. The S.H.I.E.L.D. logo was worn proudly on his chest as he waited for a response.

“Negative. I want you to make sure the Captain has been situated in his new home Coulson.” Smiling to himself, the man made his way back towards the aircraft that was waiting for him.

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