I Love You, I Love You Too
Nyota – 16 yrs(Vorik – 19 yrs/T'Lana – 18 yrs/ Spock – 21 yrs)
I woke up the next morning and found that I was on something or someone very warm. I looked up to see Vorik asleep with his arm around me. I have to admit it felt nice to wrapped up in his warmth. I knew the news of me going to college was going to set everything off, and that it wouldn't be pretty. I didn't want it to go that way. I knew Spock was going to be upset(upset is an understatement, pissed is more of the right word) and uncle will most probably never talk to me again.
I screwed everything up, Spock will never forgive.
(Memory – Last night)
"Everyone I have something to announce. First I will start with thanking everyone that is here and that has been here since (well I don't really care if this statement is illogical or not but I will say it anyway) forever. And that means a lot to me. Second this announcement will shock most of you and yes before anyone asks I have been thinking about this specially topic," I had said.
I looked up at Spock who had that look of impatience in his eyes, like saying 'please tell me you are going to say that you will stay here…with me.' How could I tell him that I wasn't? I guess that's just it he'll have to deal with it. Because this is my life. Not his the to rule or order around.
"I have decided that I want to go to College on Earth. I have thought about it more than once and am sure that this is the right choice." I said.
I felt Spock's hand tighten and then loosen on my waist. He ran out the door.
"Spock wait!" I yelled after him.
"Why?" he asked disbelief clear in his voice.
We were in the fields that were only a few minutes away from our house. Its my favorite place, I love the way the sun hits my face and tranquility it gives me when I'm stressed.
"Why, can't you stay and attend the VSA?" he asked now clearly disappointed in my decision to leave.
"Because I'm tired. I'm tired people looking at me like I'm nothing but a whore, like I'm inferior, nothing but a human that is destroying the reputation of one of Vulcan's youngest ambassadors. I want to do something for myself for once and not for anyone else." I said.
I have been living here long enough to know how to control my emotions. I may not be Vulcan but I can try to hold back the tears and pain that is suddenly breaking in through my heart.
"This means that I am nothing to you. Years of being with the Vulcan hybrid have taken their toll on you, is that it?" he asked now clearly hurt by my decision. It's not my intention to hurt him.
"Spock, its not you. You are important to me. You, your parents, Vorik, T'Lana, and even your grandmother! All of you are important to me! Your are my family...and that will never change. I don't care if you're a full blooded Vulcan or not you are my friend and I love you very much please brother, don't leave me when I need you the most." I pleaded.
It hurt me to see him turn away from me especially when I need his support the most.
"Brother!" he said incredulous. "You love me like a brother!" he said again now really hurt.
"Yes, why?" I asked now confused.
Then something clicked. Spock wanted to marry me. He really, truly loved me.
"I wanted to marry you," we said in synchronization.
"Yes," he simply said.
"We have lived together almost all of our lives Spocks. I see you more as my big brother, someone I look up to when something is wrong or when I need comfort. Please try and understand that." I pleaded again.
"I do not believe I will ever understand why you have chosen to leave, but I do understand your love for me. Please know that I do not approve of your decision to leave nor will I support it." He said his voice in monotone.
"Do you really want to know what my prediction of my acceptance to the VSA will be like Spock?" I asked voice thick with tears.
"It will begin with the prime minister summarizing my accomplishments and then he will most likely say 'you have reached a higher potential despite your human emotions and highly illogical behavior.' I may be human but I am capable of fulfilling my education and accomplish the education that is taught here. I have been fighting ever since I arrived on this planet. I know you have too, and the prime minister will say the same thing to you the only difference being that he will say 'despite you disadvantage...your human mother,' and don't you DARE say I'm wrong because that time will come and you know it." I said.
"It will not," he simply said.
He did not believe me anymore he is giving up on me. Worst thing is I don't know if there will still be that sibling connection that was binding us to one another.
"I guess you really are giving up on me," I said, the pain now manifesting itself in me.
"I…Nyota…I," he began to say but I cut him off.
"Its ok...I understand. And if I come back I hope you think better of me." I said. I felt a tear run down my face. I looked at him one last time smiled weakly and left.
I heard him call my name and to stop but he has hurt me enough and I don't want him to throw salt on the wound. I ran to the house and found Vorik waiting.
"Are you alright, Nyota?" he asked softly.
I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Vorik walked to me and pulled into his arms. We moved towards the couch and sat down. His arm was around my shoulders one of my hands in his my free hand in T'Lana's, I was aware of T'Pau sitting behind me with a hand on my shoulder. My tears fell faster and sobs broke through and Vorik's hold on my hand tightened slightly.
"He will learn with time, belo–Nyota. Give him time." Vorik said.
He almost called me beloved. The boy, my defender, has grown with me and Spock and with time came the love that I feel for him(Vorik). I never thought that he would ever feel for me, but now I realize that I was wrong.
Sleep was taking me in, fast.
"Shall I take her to her room, Vorik?" I heard uncle ask from his seat next to Vorik.
I hoped with all my might that Vorik would stay with me tonight. I really did not want to be alone tonight.
"No, I shall take her. If you would be so kind as to tell me where her chambers are?" I heard Vorik say.
I felt relief but it did little to alleviate the knife of Spock's rejection.
Last thing I remember was Vorik placing me on my bed and tucking me in. When I felt him pull away I fought to stay awake.
"Vorik," I moaned.
"Nyota I am here, I will not leave you…I promise." I heard him say. I was still awake enough to tell him,"Stay.
"He got on the bed next to me and I placed my head on his chest his arm came around me and my hand rested on his hip. I felt the soft humming of his heart on my hand. I liked it.
"I know you have always loved me Vorik," I said.
"I cherish thee," he said to me in Vulcan. "And I'll always will," he told me.
"I know, I do and will always. Spock and I have been together but what he doesn't see is that I only love him as a brother, and he misinterprets my actions of affection towards him as ones of a lover. But no, I have always wanted and will always want…"
"I love you." My voice cracked a little but I didn't care all I cared about was the man under me.
As soon as the memories from last night set in my hand tightened on Vorik's tunic.
"Good morning," he said.
"Hi," was all I could say.
"Do you want to know what happened between Spock and me last night?" I asked.
"Yes," he said his hold tightening on me.
"I tried to explain my decision to him…but it didn't get through to him. He now understands my love towards him and accepts it but I don't know if he will ever forgive me for leaving," I said a few tears escaped.
"Why are you going?" Vorik asked. This is one of the reasons I fell in love with Vorik he didn't jump to conclusions(much).
"Because I want to learn different languages and meet different people. I'm thinking of joining Star Fleet after graduating from college. That way I will learn different languages and meet new people from across the galaxy and from different galaxies," I said gaining some of my strength.
"I understand your desire. I too want to join Star Fleet," he told me.
That surprised me because I always thought he would go to the VSA same as Spock, but no he wants to join Star Fleet like I do.
"Do you parents know about this?" I asked now really curious.
Vorik had a beautiful mind, he was as smart as Spock and the academy could use his mind.
"Yes, they do and will support any decision I make. Beloved." He said.
I can get use to the way Vorik calls me beloved.
"I love you too," I said looking at him.
"And now I will do a something that humans do when they are in love," I said, "door lock," I called out.
"Nyota, what are you doing," he asked.
"Trying something," I simply said growing nervous. What if he stopped loving me if I tried this?
I pushed my way out of the covers. I placed my hand on his cheek knowing that it could mean one of two things: one, he could like it, or two he would tell me we could no longer be together.
He closed his eyes and his hand came to push mine harder to his face. I smiled softly and gently brushed my lips over his.
He opened his eyes and I immediately thought that I had crossed the line but instead he pushed himself of the pillow and his lips met mine with a strange hunger I never thought possible.
As the kiss deepened I felt him move me so I could be lying on top of him his arms wound around me and it felt right to be in this position.
"Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife Nyota?" Vorik asked as soon as we stopped to breath.
I smiled and straddle him. I looked into his eyes to find them shining with excitement.
"Yes, yes I will," I said with that answer his arms were pulling me down to him and his lips met mine with the same hunger as before.
"I love you," he said. I looked at him and my smile widened as he said what might have been the hardest thing for him to say. But I couldn't say anything for the moment, his hands were running all over me.