Make up your Mind
“If I wasn’t everything that you think I am – everything that I think I am – would you still want to help me?” – The Reichenbach Falls
After 18 hours in the hospital Molly had finally gone home. She had discharged her dress and stuffed it into the bottom of her laundry basket. She had not wanted to see it anymore. She had had the fear that it would always remind her of the day when Sherlock Holmes had lost part of his mind and her life had become a complicated mess. But who was she fooling? When it came to Sherlock, nothing was ever free of complication. Ever.
She had showered and had been sure sleep would not find her, because so many thoughts were spinning around in her head. Still she had gone to bed, and if just to rest her legs. But the events of the last 24 hours had taken its toll on her and as soon as she closed her eyes she had fallen asleep.
On the next day they had kind of a meeting in the café of St Mary’s hospital. “They” meant Molly, John and Greg. Mary and the baby were at Baker Street to talk to Mrs Hudson about the situation. Although Molly had slept, she looked exhausted. And so did John.
The former army doctor took a sip of his coffee and informed them, “I had another talk with Mycroft yesterday. He told me that it was of the essence to follow the doctor’s orders. He had told their parents about the situation. Of course they had wanted to come visit Sherlock right away and take him back home, but Mycroft could convince them that it was crucial for his recovery to keep him in London – in his natural environment. His words, not mine.”
John smiled weakly and the others did the same.
Lestrade nodded and gripped the cup of coffee in his hand a bit tighter. He had not visited Sherlock yet. John had suggested to have a chat first.
“So, Sherlock has amnesia? Like on TV?” the detective inspector asked.
John shook his head. “No, people on TV generally suffer from dissociative fugue. And in reality this particular form of amnesia is extremely rare.”
Greg tried to understand, “Okay… but Sherlock does not know who he is.”
“He knows who he is, he’s just the wrong person,” Molly clarified.
Greg shook his head. “Now I am confused.”
Sherlock’s blogger tried to explain it to the DI, “He thinks the back-story he made up for the case is true. He knows most things, he just confuses some things to be true that are not.”
“Like that Molly is his fiancée?” Greg gestured towards their female friend, who nodded slowly and then stared into her mug.
John went on, “The problem is that we don’t know what the back-story is. So we’ll have to find out bit by bit and then react according to the situation. We’ll have to play along and we all have to play our parts according to his script.”
Greg chuckled, “That’s nothing new then. Doesn’t he always get us to do what he wants us to?”
A small smile played on Molly’s and John’s lips,
because they had to agree with their friend.
“I don’t want to play it down,” John went on, “but we all know that Molly has the hardest part.”
He made a small pause.
“Sherlock will be released in two days – they want to keep him for monitoring in case the swelling of the brain expands – and until then we’ll have some things to do. You know what I am talking about, don’t you, Molly?”
The woman in question looked shocked at him. “No, I don’t know what you are talking about.”
John cleared his throat, “Well, I am talking about living arrangements.” He waited a moment for Molly to catch on, but when she didn’t he explained further, “You’ll need to move in with him.”
“What?” Molly exclaimed so that the people at the
other tables were looking at them for a moment.
John did his best to sound calm and collected, “Mycroft told me that Sherlock is under the impression that the two of you are living together at Baker Street. And since you are engaged I only think that’s logical.”
Said engaged woman did not want to hear any of that. “I don’t care if it’s logical! I can’t pay rent twice!”
“I doubt Sherlock would expect rent from you,” John assure her. “And even if, we’ll find a solution. There must be some advantage in knowing Mycroft, after all,” he tried for humour to lighten the situation.
The two men regarded Molly as she thought about it. She knew she had to play her part and John was right. It was only logic that she would live together with her fiancé (although she had not shared a flat with Tom), but she had not thought what this whole situation entailed. And now she realized that this would not be the last time she would have to face the consequences of playing a part in this amnesia drama.
She had made up her mind to be there for Sherlock and it would be cowardly to back off now, at the first sight of complication. It was like John had said, there was nothing they could do than react according to the situation, and the current situation was that Sherlock was convinced that they shared a flat. Therefore she had to deal with it.
Sherlock had asked her once if she would help him if he wasn’t everything she thought he was – everything he thought he was. Now was the time to prove to him that she would. He might not have known who he was, but she did and she would help him see it again.
With new found strength Molly looked into the faces of the men before her and asked, “What do I need to do?”
For the next two days Sherlock’s friends were busy taking turns on visiting their friend in hospital and moving Molly’s things into Baker Street.
Sherlock started to get bored in hospital (he had already deduced every single person that worked in the wing) and his friends got worried that he might try to escape and go home sooner than planned. Therefore they tried to have someone have an eye on him all the time.
Sherlock seemed to become more like his old self day by day. When with him, his friends tried to figure out what he thought his relation to certain people was or how much he knew about the Rucastle case. As it turned out, he remembered everything, apart from who had knocked him out. He said that he had not seen the face.
Although Sherlock got better, his change in personality was still disturbing for his friends. He made rude comments from time to time and he was still brilliant in his observations, but he was nice and friendly as well.
Especially towards Molly he was always gentle and tried to initiate physical contact every time she visited him. For instance, he always took her hand when she sat by his bed. Once he had also tried to kiss her, but Molly had managed to pull back, uttering an excuse that she had forgotten something and had to leave. The look of rejection he had given her had hurt her to no end. And she knew that sooner or later she would run out of excuses and he would confront her. She was his fiancée after all, why should she not want to kiss him? Still she hoped for the confrontation to happen later and not sooner and maybe until then she would have come to terms with this odd situation, or he would have remembered everything correctly.
While Sherlock was still in hospital, John and Molly did some research on Sherlock’s condition. All papers on retrograde amnesia agreed that under no circumstances the patient should face situations that could cause emotional turmoil – that might make his condition worse.
Of course this was extremely hard with someone like Sherlock Holmes. For ordinary people kidnapping and homicide were things that were considered to cause emotional turmoil, but for an extraordinary person like Sherlock it was considered daily business. And from what his friends could tell, Sherlock was determined to take up the case of the Rucastles as soon as he was out of hospital. Being knocked out in the sitting room had only confirmed his suspicion that Mr Rucastle was hiding something. Therefore they decided to act as normal as possible and let Sherlock play in his “natural environment.”Sherlock’s time in hospital went by in a blink and the day came when the consulting detective was allowed to return to his beloved home that was 221B Baker Street.