Lose It All
We carried Shane to the old barn. Daryl was ready to kill him after I told him what I walked in on. I didn't blame him for it, I wanted to kill Shane when I saw him.
We questioned him about why he did that to her. He acted like he enjoyed seein' the way we reacted.
"You took Lori from me, you claimed my baby as yours, I wanted somethin' that was mine, somethin' you couldn't have 'cause I couldn't have her. Everything was fine 'til you showed back up," he said.
"You know that baby's mine and Lori loves me, she always has. Hell, we've been together before, you always picked the job over her." he said with a smile, "But Beth, damn, she was perfect. She was tight and a much better fuck than Lori."
I froze, he thought of my family as his, Daryl took that as a chance to jump in and beat the hell outta him.
I pushed Daryl outta the way. "They're mine!", I kept repeating as I hit him until he wasn't movin', just barely breathin'. I stood and looked down at him. After everything he's done, I still couldn't put a bullet in his head.
Back at the house everyone questioned us about where Shane was. Daryl didn't answer them and I couldn't answer them, I didn't have an answer anyway. They knew he was unstable but that didn't change how Lori and Carl felt about him.
I looked around the room at everyone, they were all watching me and waiting for an answer, I had to do it. They needed to know everything, they needed to know what he did to Beth. I wasn't gonna tell them everything he did though, just that he had hurt her. The details weren't important right now. I had promised her I wouldn't tell them what all he did. When I was ready to talk, I looked to her for permission to tell them and she nodded.
As I spoke, I could see her watching me again. I couldn't tell if she was paying attention or just lost in her own thoughts, but nevertheless, her eyes were on me.
I knew Rick wasn't gonna tell everyone what Shane did, just that he was hittin' me, not that he had raped me several times. It was bad enough he had told Daryl because he kept askin' if I was okay. I said I was even though I really wasn't. I couldn't help but smile at him though, he was beginning to remind me of my brother Shawn, it didn't matter how much he picked on me, he was still protective and always wanted to make sure I was okay, that was how Daryl was acting now.
I knew what was on Ricks mind as he spoke, what he had done shown in his eyes. I could see he was disgusted with himself. I watched Lori, she didn't even seem to notice how he felt, she just kept asking about Shane.
When Rick had finished telling everyone what happened I could see something inside Lori snap. I had grown close to her, she was caring and someone I felt I could trust but after Rick told them what Shane did, she just stared at me like it was my fault. I was very thankful he didn't tell them everything.I could only imagine how they'd all react if he had.
Lori had been the only person I've been able to talk to and I hadn't seen her act this cold before. How could she act like that, her husband obviously needed her, I needed her too. I think on some level she thought she could have both of them and everything would be fine.
I know it wasn't Beth's fault, if it were anyone's fault at all, it was mine for not stopping whatever was between us and leading Shane to believe it would be more. If I had of put an end to things sooner, maybe he wouldn't have lost it. I needed Rick and Beth to know I was sorry but neither of them would speak to me. Rick brushed me off sayin' he couldn't talk about it right then and Beth just ran to her room cryin'. I had a feeling there was more to the story than what Rick had told us.
That night as I slept I kept dreamin' about life before Rick and I had trouble. Everything was good, I couldn't have been happier. Where did it all go wrong? I knew Rick was right, he wasn't the only one to blame, I had done more than my part to destroy our marriage.
I was awoken by screams as a huge heard of walkers drew closer to the house.
"Mom, come on. We gotta go!", Carl yelled.