The Rabbit Doesn't Die
It's been a few months since the farm was overrun with walkers and everyday since then we'd been searchin' for somewhere we could stay. When we found the prison, we told everyone about it and decided we should move there. It was safer than being on the road especially now that Lori is further along.
After we cleared the walkers from the prison yard inside the first gate, we decided to go on a run for some supplies. Before we left Beth slipped us a note asking us to get her a few things.
When we finally returned, we gave her the things she'd asked for and we waited patiently. When she saw that we were waitin', she came over to us.
"It's positive," she said while fightin' back tears, she hung her head. We just stared at her for a while, none of us knew what to say.
"Shit! What the fuck happens now?", Daryl asked me, still staring at Beth.
"Hell if I know. Hershel is gonna be pissed when he finds out we knew what happened and didn't tell him. Especially since she's pregnant."
"Tell him it's my fault and it is. I asked y'all not to tell. But we don't have to tell him or anyone else that I'm pregnant, not right now at least.", Beth told us. "I don't want this!", she burst into tears and then stormed off.
"Fuck, what'd we do?", Daryl asked me.
"On our next run we'll try to find somethin', I'm sure they have stuff for these kinda things."
I could see there was something wrong with Beth and though no one said anything, I could tell they saw it too. We'd all heard her cryin' for the past week or so but tonight her cry was different.
"What's goin' on with Beth?", I asked Daryl and Rick as I approached them. I had seen them talkin' to Beth earlier, before she started her cryin', I knew they knew somethin' about what was bothering her.
"How the hell should we know? Why don't you ask 'er your-fuckin'-self?", Daryl smarted off to me.
"I know y'all know and if you don't tell me what's goin' on now, I'll let Hershel know y'all are keepin' somethin' about Beth from him."
They both looked at each other, Daryl shook his head disapprovingly and looked down but finally Rick said, "She's pregnant."
"What?! Oh my God, which one of you...?", I was disgusted.
"You got it wrong, Lori. It ain't one of us, the baby is Shane's. He raped her, that's what he was doin' to her in the barn."
"Shane's? You expect me to believe that! Shane would never have done anything like that, I know he wouldn't have. If he did rape her, why would she tell y'all and not her family? Why didn't she tell me? "
They looked at each other again, this time Daryl walked away and towards Beth and when he did, Rick started tellin' me what was goin' on.
"I don't know everything about it but that day in the barn, I walked in and Shane was raping her, she was tryin' to fight him off. That wasn't the first time he did that to her though, she said it'd happened before and she was too scared to tell anyone. Maybe she told us 'cause I saw it happen, I saw what he was doin' to her! And maybe she didn't tell you because she knew you were fuckin' Shane, hell, everyone knew!"
"Why the hell didn't y'all tell us then? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Lori, We didn't tell you or anyone else because she asked us not to."
"Even if she didn't want us to know, you had no right keepin' that from Hershel and Maggie! I'm goin' to talk to her." I was pissed at Rick and Daryl but mostly at myself, I didn't think he would do anything like that. I had to calm down and talk to Beth about it. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
Daryl had come over and told me that Lori was questioning him and Rick about me and that Rick had told her about my situation. The last thing I expected was for her to wanna talk to me so I was surprised when she came over.
"Beth, do you want this baby?", Lori asked me, she didn't sound mad but rather worried and confused.
"No, I don't. But I don't really have a choice, do I."
"No, I guess not. But you know when I found out I was pregnant I took those 'morning after' pills. There's absolutely no guarantee they would work but that's somethin' you may wanna try. I know they have abortion pills but they would only be at a hospital or an abortion clinic and they'd be really difficult to find. If you do have the baby though, we are all here for you. You don't have to do this alone. But you shouldn't worry too much, there's always a chance it was a false positive, you could've been pregnant and miscarried. That may be why the test came out positive. It happens, you know. If you're late, it could be from stress or maybe it's because you're malnourished. You should definitely take another test because you may not be pregnant."
"Thanks but what if I am really pregnant? How would I get them? The pills or the test? I don't want Maggie and my daddy to know."
"Well, Rick said we are gonna try to clear the prison tomorrow, so in a couple of days when they go on a run, I'll tell him and Daryl what to look for, okay? They've already gotten you one pregnancy test, I'm sure they can find you another one."
"Yes ma'am. Please don't tell anyone else yet."
"I won't but if you are, they'll need to know eventually."
"Thank you." I told her and I shook my head yes as she started to walk away. I don't want this baby but I couldn't help but think Lori was a little jealous of the fact that the baby was Shane's and she didn't want me to have it. We all know her baby is his. No matter how much she says she loves Rick, she obviously loved Shane. I couldn't help but smile a little though because no matter what her feelings are, she did give me a little hope. Maybe it was a false positive, maybe it is because of stress or malnutrition.