Finger on the Trigger

Now It Only Hurts


"Just hit me if that's what you wanna do," I said.


"If it'll make you feel better, hit me," I told Maggie, "Lord knows I deserve it."

She clenched her fists, "As much as I want to, I know it won't change anythin'. But Rick, you didn't have to volunteer. My sister needs you!"

I took a step closer to her, "Maggie, I know but I'm tryin' to protect her."

Maggie stared at me with tears still in her eyes. Then suddenly she drew back and hit me.

I didn't try to stop her. It was what she needed to do to deal with this.

"Oh my God, Rick!" Beth practically jump up when I walked into her cell after talkin' with Maggie, "What happened?"

"Nothin' you need to worry about, baby."

She motioned for me to come closer and I did.

I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Beth, some things are gonna happen in a few days and I'm gonna go help with it..."

She pulled away and looked at me confused.

"If you end up havin' the baby while im gone, I want you to know that I wanted to be there."

She smiled softly and kissed me, "you're not gonna miss it. I'm sure he'll wait to come until his daddy is with us."

I smiled back and pulled her closer to me.

Now here I was, three days later, with Michonne, Daryl and Tyreese and we were on our way to The Governor's camp.


No one told me what was goin' on with The Governor or that Rick had gone with them until Sarah and Carol came to help me to the car.

Daddy was in the passenger seat while Carol drove. Carol was in the back between me and Sarah and she was holdin' Judith.

I didn't want to tell them that I felt like somethin' was gonna go wrong. I'm not sayin' I'm psychic or anythin', I just have a bad feelin' about things.

I didn't know where we were goin' and everythin' was beginning to get to me. I felt a few tears fall before I busted out cryin'.

Sarah reached over and rubbed my back, "Shh, sweetie. Everythin's gonna be okay."

It didn't help and neither did the fact that Judith started cryin' too.

"Mom," Carl whispered and grabbed my hand, "we're gonna be okay, so is dad. They're gonna do what they have to then we can go back to the prison."

I nodded but kept cryin'.

It was at least an hour or two before we got to the "safe house" as Sarah had called it.


We finally came upon The Governors camp only to find they were no longer there.

All that remained was a few run down cars and their attempt at a fence.

"They left in a hurry," Tyreese said, pointing to the tire tracks.

"Fuck!" Daryl all but yelled.

We started back towards the prison when heard the moans of walkers and soon we were surrounded.

There were too many walkers for us to deal with on our own. It was apparent that we had walked right into a trap.

We stabbed at a few of the walkers that got too close but we couldn't take get away from them without firin' our guns. We hated to do that and waste our bullets but we had to.


When we walked into the house, it was fully stocked with everything we'd need in case I had the baby.

I actually felt a little relieved to know that they had this planned out. Maybe I was wrong for thinkin' somethin' would go wrong.

Daddy, Sarah and Carol stayed in the front room of the house with Judith and Carl after helpin' me into the little bedroom.

I didn't want to be separated from them but I liked how quiet it was.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and then it was cracked open.

"Mom?" Carl whispered.


He opened the door all the way and came in.

His eyes were red and his face was stained with tears.

I patted the bed next to me and he climbed in.

"What's wrong, Carl?"

"What if dad doesn't come back?"

"He will," I tried to force a smile.

He looked down and started cryin'.

"Hey, you gotta have faith. He'll come back to us."

-Two Days Later-


We were all gettin' really worried.

It's been two days and there hasn't been any sign of Rick or anyone else. We don't know what happened or if anything happened.


"Rick!" Michonne called out. She was trapped.

Daryl and Tyreese were tryin' to lead the walkers away from us but it wasn't workin'.

I started towards Michonne when felt a blinding pain in my chest and I hit the ground.

Someone rolled me over so I was on my back. I could hear several people talkin' and when I opened my eyes, The Governor was standin' over me.

"Did you think I didn't know y'all were comin'? I've been watchin' y'all. Every move you make, everything y'all do, I know about it," he laughed.

He knelt down, "I have people watchin' that pretty little girl of yours, too."

I reached for my knife but it wasn't there.

The Governor stood up and smiled, We'll be takin' Michonne with..."

A shot rang out and The Governor fell.

"Rick? Can you hear me?" Michonne was leanin' over me in the bed of a truck.

I groaned.

"Ty, drive faster!" She yelled.

She looked down at me, "Daryl went to get everyone from the safe house. They should be at the prison when we get back."

The whole ride I was in and out of it. I could feel the blood pourin' out of my chest, my head was spinnin' and my vision became blurry.

We had just got back to the prison when I was rushed inside.

"He's been shot," Tyreese told them.

"Where's Hershel?" Michonne asked.

I saw Glenn's face turn pale and he was shakin'.

"Follow me," he said nervously.

We entered the cell block to find Maggie outside one of the cells. She was on her knees cryin' hysterically, her hands were covered in blood and she was clutching somethin' to her chest.

The same as she had when Lori...

"It's Beth," Glenn told us.

Tyreese and Michonne grabbed me before I could hit the floor.

I couldn't say anything.

They pulled me into the cell with Beth.

I knelt down next to her and put my forehead on hers. She was pale and I couldn't tell if she was breathin' or not.

I kissed her lips, they were cold.

"No," I cried.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Rick," Maggie cried. Somehow I managed to stand up next to her. She was shakin' as she shoved what she'd been holdin' into my arms and mumbled somethin'.

Sasha came up behind her and pulled her out of the cell.

"No, I'm not leavin' my sister!" She cried out.

"Rick," Carol was now standing in front of me, "take the baby to Hershel."

"Wha..what? Baby?"

"The one you're holdin'. I'm so sorry, Rick. Beth...she...she didn't make it."

She didn't make it. Beth didn't make. She's gone. Dead, just like Lori.

Next thing I remember I was layin' on the bed in my cell with Hershel sittin' next to me.

Tyreese and Daryl were holdin' me down while he removed the bullet from my chest.

I could hear a baby cryin'.

Then nothin'.

I passed out from the pain.

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