Finger on the Trigger

I Can't Hang On

Six weeks later...


"Bethie, wake up?"

"No, Maggie. Leave me alone," I whined.

"Beth, get your ass up. NOW!"

I opened my eyes and stared at her, "Why?"

"'Cause I have a surprise for you," she smiled.

"Fine." I threw back the covers and got up.

"Here, put this on." She said handing me one of the dresses she had gotten me.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Hurry up."

After I changed, she pulled me out of the cell then out of the prison towards the guard tower.

"Why are you bringin' me out here?"

"You'll see, Bethie, you'll see."

She pulled me up the stairs and into the tower. She was the first one through the door.

"Maggie, what the hell are you doin' here?" Rick asked.

She shrugged, "I thought you and Beth would like some alone time." Then she pulled me through the doorway.

Rick smiled and shook his head.

"Don't worry," Maggie said, "I'm on watch with Carl tonight and he'll mostly be reading comics but we've got watch covered. And Glenn is in the cell block keepin' an eye on the babies. So he won't be out here to interrupt anything. But make sure the door is locked, just in case."

I laughed and she hugged me before leavin'.

Rick made sure the door was locked before walkin' up behind me and puttin' his arms around me.

He kissed my neck, "Your sister is gonna get us in trouble. You're supposed to be on bed rest still."

"Mmhmm." I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, "so...what are we gonna do?"

"Whatever you want."


I watched her eyes light up when I said that and she smiled.

She leaned up to kiss me and whispered, "I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that," I smiled.

I pulled her over to the pile of blankets and helped her sit down.

It's been six weeks since the twins were born but Hershel and Carol have insisted on her doin' as little as possible and stayin' on bed rest.

I held her in my arms as she hummed.

I kissed her cheek, "I love you, Bethie."

"I love you, too."

I held her all night and watched her sleep.

She's perfect. She gave me two beautiful babies and she's a wonderful mother to Carl and Judith.

I can't believe she's about to be my wife. Hell, I can't believe Hershel didn't kill me.

Beth and I had talked about gettin' married. She said she just wanted us to exchange rings but I knew she wanted more than that.

Maggie's been helpin' me get stuff to give Beth what she deserves.

When the sun started comin' up, I woke Beth up and helped her to her cell.

Glenn was in there with twins and when he saw us, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God y'all are here! They wouldn't stop cryin'."

Beth smiled and sat on the bed with a pillow in her lap.

I took Shawn out of Glenn's arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Ya mind?" I nodded towards the door.

"Oh. Sorry," he hurried out and closed the curtain.

I handed Shawn to Beth and unzipped her dress. She positioned him on her left side while I got Annette and helped position her on her right.

"I'm gonna go get Judith," I told her.

When I came back, I sat down on the bed and let Judith crawl towards Beth.

"Hey baby girl," Beth cooed at her.

Judith smiled and giggled.

"Dad?" Carl called from outside the cell.

I picked Judith up and opened the curtain enough I could see him.

"What'd you want, Carl?"

"Somethin's wrong with Violet."

I looked back at Beth and the babies and then back to Carl.

"Here," I handed Judith to him as I stepped out of the cell, "sit out here with Judith 'til mom gets done feedin' Shawn and Annie, okay?"

He agreed and I went to check on the animals.


I finished feedin' the babies and laid them on the bed so I could change into some different clothes.

I was still a little sore and I hadn't lost a lot of the "baby weight" so my jeans were a little uncomfortable.

I started to place both babies into their crib when I heard a gunshot.

"Carl!" I called out.

"Mom," he swung the curtain open and put Judith on the bed, "I'm gonna go check it out."

"No, you're not, Carl," I grabbed his arm.

"Mom, please."

"No, I'm sure your dad will be in soon. Just shut the door."

We could hear screamin' and gunshots. Though they weren't in this cell block, they were close enough that we had three screamin' babies in the cell.

Eventually, Maggie and Michonne came in and told us what was happenin'. I couldn't believe it.

Before I could stop him, Carl ran outside. I started after him but Maggie stopped me.

"No, Beth. I'll go get him. You have three babies that need you. You can't get sick."


I saw Carl comin' out of the prison and headin' towards me.

I was tearin' down the pig pen.

We talked for a few minutes before I gave him back his gun and he left.

I looked around the prison.

Walkers were pilin' up against the fences, people inside were gettin' sick and dyin', then turnin'.

The threat wasn't outside these fences anymore, it was inside too.

I thought of Beth and the babies and Carl.

I can't protect my family from the shit that's goin' on.

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