In Which

Pears Must be Eaten

So, this is my first attempt at writing an episode with John Smith and Martha, so I know they'll both be rather ooc... Remember, ooc is supposed to happen because this is a Crack!fic, and I can...

I dedicate this chapter to my little sister's strawberry yogurt. Thank you for the inspiration.


In Which…

Pears Must be Eaten


John Smith sat in his office, sketching in his journal. It wasn't a diary. It was a journal. Obviously…anyway, he was sketching in his journal when, suddenly, he heard a noise. The noise sounded like bones breaking, and a flash of light accompanied it.

As soon as the light was gone, John Smith saw a young girl standing in his office. She was dressed in odd clothing for a girl to wear-a pair of blue trousers that fit tightly to her legs, a black shirt with the words 'Trust Me, I'm the Doctor' printed on it in silver lettering, and black heeled boots. Her hair was cropped to her shoulders and she had a look of pain on her face. Slowly, she straightened up and John Smith heard her spine crack several times.

"Right, sorry about that. Alright, where was I?" she asked with an accent John Smith had never heard before. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh, yes, right," she said calmly, clearing her throat. "Gallifrey rises!"

"What? How did you know of my stories?" John Smith asked, apparently catching the girl off guard.

"Stories? What stories?"

"The stories I wrote in my journal. They were about a man who could travel to time and he was from a place called Gallifrey," John Smith explained and the girl blinked a few times.

"Oh, yes, um," the girl said, looking at him carefully. John Smith smiled.

"I'm Doctor John Smith. Pleased to meet you," he said kindly, giving a slight bow and holding out his hand for her to shake.

"Um, I'm Katrina. Katrina Lycanthrope. It's nice to meet you also," she said and took John Smith's hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it.

"The pleasure is all mine," he said and Katrina looked taken aback. "Is something the matter, Ms. Lycanthrope?" She shook her head.

"No, everything is perfectly alright, Doctor," Katrina replied, her oddly accented voice calm yet breathy. John Smith wondered why she had only addressed him by his title, debating as to whether or not he should comment, before deciding to do so.

"Why did you address me as, simply, 'doctor'? You are free to address me by my surname or, if we were to become familiar with each other like I feel that we should, my first name," John Smith said, giving a semi-flirtatious smile. Katrina Lycanthrope blinked again, her jaw slackening slightly before tensing again.

"Oh, okay, John…um," she stuttered briefly, however keeping her look of calm. Just then, his maid, Martha, had entered the room.

"Oh, Mr. Smith, I didn't realize you had company," she said and Katrina looked at her with a look of realization.

"Oh, oh, I see," Katrina said calmly.

"Ms. Lycanthrope, this is my maid Martha Jones. Martha, this is Katrina Lycanthrope. She appeared out of nowhere," John Smith said calmly and Martha looked at Katrina in surprise.

"So, you appeared out of nowhere?"

"So it seems, Martha Jones. So it seems," Katrina said calmly, slipping into a calmer disposition then the flustered one John Smith had seen moments ago.

"May I speak with you in private?" Martha asked and Katrina nodded.

"I shall return in a moment, John," Katrina said, following Martha from the room.


Martha led the strange teenager out of 'John Smith's' office and into a small side hallway. She looked like she was from her time, and felt that she should know who this was, yet had no idea as to Katrina Lycanthrope's identity.

"So, who are you and what do you want with the Doctor?" Martha asked, getting right to the point. Katrina frowned.

"I don't want anything from the Doctor… I simply wanted to catch him off guard. I'm not here to turn him into those things that are after you," she explained and Martha frowned.

"How do you know about them?"

"I have my ways…"

"So, what are you going to do now that you know that the Doctor thinks he's a human?" Martha asked and Katrina shrugged.

"Well, I suppose I'll leave and go try surprising him in a different time… oh, and, before I go, I must advise that you open the fob watch. It would help you immensely, trust me, and the longer you wait, the more trouble you'll have convincing the Doctor that he really is the Doctor, got it?" Katrina explained and Martha nodded firmly, not even bothering to try to figure out how she knew about the fob watch.

"I will open it soon," Martha said resignedly and Katrina grinned.

"Before you do, you should feed him a pear, just to see what he'll do. Promise me you'll do this?" Katrina asked.

"I promise," Martha said, smiling and Katrina's grin widened.

"Fantastic, but I really must be going now… I have to jump back to two thousand and twelve to get back to my pseudo-job. I'll see you around, Martha." Katrina pressed a few buttons on her wrist, disappearing with a flash of light.


"And one more thing, Martha, why in the world would you give me pears! I told you in my message that I hated them!" the Doctor ranted and Martha smiled fondly. She had remembered her promise to that odd girl shortly after having decided to open the watch. His face had made everything worth it once he'd turned back into a Time Lord… such a mixture of disgust and confusion had, until that point, been unknown to Martha. Of course, she'd laughed her ass off at his facial expression, and now she would pay for it, but it was worth it.

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